A Perfectly Normal Romance Chapter 3.2 - I Really Hate You

“Please feel free to sit at any of the open tables.”

Hyun nodded and casually walked past the bar. I followed, bowing my head to the owner. The man, with a slightly slicked-back hairstyle and a friendly smile, returned my greeting.

We went to an empty table in the back, partially hidden by partitions. From the outside, I’d only seen the bar-style tables, so I hadn’t realized there were these more secluded booths with narrow entrances. They were surprisingly private.

As I was looking at the pin lights dimly illuminating the table, the staff member from behind the bar came over and handed us menus. Hyun pointed at a few items without much interest and handed the menu back. As I watched him walk away, he popped a piece of cheese into his mouth and asked,

“You had dinner, right?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“You didn’t take the menu even though I ordered by myself.”

“Well, it’s that time.”

Just then, a bottle of wine and glasses arrived. Hyun picked up the bottle himself, and the staff member, as if accustomed to this, simply left. Something felt off, so I asked,

“You didn’t eat?”

“No.”

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Did you hear about the results?”

“Hear about what?”

“You’re not asking, so I guess you heard. Who told you?”

“Seungyeop. He said you blew it up.”

“Yeah, I blew it up. Why would I be in the mood to eat and have a company dinner? I’ve been writing reports all day.”

“I see.”

I expected him to sound more serious, but Hyun’s attitude was strangely ambiguous, somewhere between relieved and not.

“Did CEO Lee Seongjae contact you?”

“I was waiting, but he didn’t.”

It was an anticlimactic end, considering I had braced myself for some kind of outburst or angry words. Perhaps he thought it was already over and not worth contacting me further.

“He might have already expected it. I’ve never said anything good about him.”

“Seungyeop said the same thing. That it wasn’t a good company.”

“Not only the indicators, but the valuation itself was vague from the start. Even if we tried to make it work with a condition of keeping the CEO for a few more years after the sale, it’s a matter of managing people, and I saw existing cracks.”

“So it’s completely over?”

“Yeah, over. The client saw the report and said no.”

“Isn’t that bad for your track record?”

Hyun was now pouring wine into the glasses. Without any flourish or pretense, he simply filled the clear wine glasses to an appropriate level. After answering my question, he took a deep sip from his glass, closed his eyes briefly, and then opened them again to reply.

“It’ll be a new kind of record, that’s for sure.”

“That’s also…”

“It’s fine. It’s in the past.”

“Do you even get any rest?”

“I do, actually. Two weeks.”

He started fiddling with his hair, which was slightly flattened from sleep. I stared at his Adam’s apple moving against his smooth neck and then picked up my own glass of wine. Hyun drank his wine like it was water and muttered,

“If they asked me to work like that all year round, I’d quit. It’s a schedule of working for a month or two and then taking two weeks off.”

“Not bad.”

Looking at the fruit and ham that had arrived, I poked a soft, perfectly sliced melon and asked,

“Our interview is over, right?”

“Yeah, it’s over.”

“Then what’s this?”

As soon as my question landed, Hyun grabbed another bottle of wine. This time, it was a large, light green bottle that the staff member had brought over. White wine. I wouldn’t recognize the label even if I looked at it. I watched him struggle to open it with his one good arm. With a cheerful pop, the cork came out.

“This is aftercare.”

“There’s such a thing?”

“Yeah, there’s everything.”

“Are you making fun of me because I don’t know these things?”

“No way.”

He carelessly poured the white wine, creating bubbles.

“We could’ve just gone for dinner.”

“It’s my choice.”

“Why are you so determined to get drunk?”

“That’s my choice too.”

After saying that, Hyun brought the wine glass to his lips and looked intently at my face. The swelling around his left eye, which had given him a deep double eyelid, was now subsiding. I blinked, looking at his distinct, sharp eyes. Why are you looking at me like that? As I met his gaze, his expression momentarily turned blank. He touched his hair and said,

“I should have dressed better.”

He tugged at the neckline of his shirt and then gulped down his wine.

Not knowing what he was up to, I sat with my arms crossed, just like a few days ago when he was downing soju in Jongno. As if he’d made up his mind to get drunk, Hyun just kept drinking. I wet my lips with the wine and then set the glass down, fidgeting with my clasped hands to pass the time. I waited until a reddish flush crept over the bridge of his nose and his previously puffy eyes. A strange sense of déjà vu washed over me.

“Daeun.”

By the time he started talking like this, he seemed a bit tipsy.

“What.”

“Do you like that this happened to your company?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Keeping my injured arm still, I held the wine glass with my other hand and answered honestly. I truly didn’t know yet. Whether it was good or bad. How badly it would affect the company. If it had been a bad idea to try to sell it in the first place. Judging by what I’d heard, it seemed like it had been a pretty bad idea.

“And from here on out, it’s off the record.”

He lightly clapped his hands together in front of his face.

“We’re already off the record.”

“I’ve always hated that company.”

“Just remember that you’re looking at the founder right now.”

“You left.”

Swirling his wine glass with a flick of his wrist, Hyun muttered through gritted teeth.

“And you didn’t even know that. Ah, shit.”

So, what would be different if I were still there? Would you have taken more time and effort to destroy it?

“You seem to dislike it on a personal level, not just because of the indicators or the company’s situation.”

As soon as I opened that door, Hyun walked right through it.

“Would I like that place?”

“Well, Seungyeop told me you picked it yourself, so I thought you were somewhat interested.”

“He told you that too?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. Tell me everything.”

“You also got my studio apartment address and everything from him.”

When I retorted like that, he sighed shallowly and gulped down his wine. Concerned, I nudged his foot under the table.

“Take it easy.”

“You drink too.”

“Why should I?”

“So you can get drunk too.”

“I just got drunk and collapsed a few days ago. Do you think I’d get drunk again?”

The things I said and the memories from that night came flooding back like a string of candy necklaces. Embarrassed, I scratched my face and started meticulously cutting the cheese with my fork. I felt a tickle on the top of my foot, and then he nudged my shin with his. I flinched, then tensed my shoulders, but he didn’t move his foot. I just focused on the cheese.

“Could it be…”

“Yeah, you’re totally capable of it.”

“Do you remember how we got home that time you fell by the Cheonggyecheon stream?”

“Are you going to brag about giving me a piggyback ride? Go ahead and fall. I’ll carry you home this time.”

“You remember.”

A slightly loud clinking sound echoed as he set his glass down.

“Then you must remember what I said too.”

At those words, my hand, which had been meticulously crushing the cheese, stopped. There wasn’t much left to crush anyway. I clumsily set down the fork and glared at him.

His elongated eyes crinkled into a smile. The sight of him smiling with his eyes, his bangs slightly askew, left me speechless. The plates and forks clattered as I grabbed the table and tried to stand up. I really tried. But the moment I put strength into my bent knees and pushed myself up, Hyun shoved the table, closing the gap between our chairs. I landed back down with a thud, awkwardly wedged in the suddenly narrowed space. Unable to hide my flushed face, I exclaimed,

“Are you crazy?”

“Not today.”

“What do you mean, not today?!”

“You were trying to pay and run away like you did in Jongno. Even if you do that, we’re going home together. Stay put.”

“I’d rather go to my own place.”

“You know you can’t.”

I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t speak. Hyun picked up the wine bottle again.

“Let’s just finish this and go.”

Staring at the swirling contents of my wine glass, I glanced down at myself, contemplating how I could possibly escape. Not only was I dressed casually, but I had only brought my phone and was wearing borrowed slippers. I curled my toes, which were peeking out from the front of the slippers, then relaxed and looked back at Hyun. The bridge of his nose was flushed as he continued to empty his glass.

Despite saying he’d moved the table to prevent me from paying, Hyun didn’t pay when we left. He just stood for a moment, caught the staff member’s attention, exchanged a glance, and walked out. No one stopped us, as if it was a common occurrence. I simply followed, accustomed to his behavior.

Leaving the restaurant with its lingering sweet scent, the outside air felt comparatively clean. It had a tranquil feeling, rare in the city. We walked up the gentle slope, devoid of passersby, and entered the apartment complex. As we passed through the wrought iron gate, adorned with patterns resembling a European castle, someone greeted us. I bowed my head as usual and walked ahead of Hyun.

Hyun, usually walking beside me, lagged slightly behind today. There was no point in arriving before the homeowner, so I adjusted my pace to match his. The early summer night, starting to warm up, carried the fresh scent of crushed grass. I took a deep breath and slowed my pace further. Fallen leaves crunched beneath my feet as I walked along the lush lawn.

A strange sense of déjà vu tickled my heart, then subsided. I tried to ignore it and kept walking.

“Daeun.”

With no one else around, I clearly heard him call my name. But I didn’t turn around and continued walking. As I stepped onto the neatly trimmed stairs, I felt a light tug on my clothes. The sensation of the fabric tightening and loosening against my back felt chilling, as if it had brushed against something it shouldn’t have.

Finally, I turned around. Hyun, standing close behind me, had quieted even his slightly ragged breathing. My gaze, which had been calm, intensified.

“Don’t.”

As if he hadn’t heard me, his features, slightly more mature and defined than in our memories of twenty, drew closer. At a distance close enough to see the fine lines of his lips, Hyun blinked.

“You know what I’m going to say, right?”

“No.”

“Actually… during the festival when we were twenty… I knew what you wanted to say back then too.”

“And yet you still…!”

“But you held back that day. So, I did it, remember?”

“So, you want me to say it today? Well, you’ve been caught. Shall we say everything we need to say?”

“No. I’ll do it again today.”

“I won’t listen.”

The tingling sensation rising from my waist wasn’t excitement or any positive emotion. Belated panic, anger, and the accumulated emotions of the past churned within me like a ship at sea.

“You asked me why I joined Link. I left to see you. I thought you were still there.”

“That’s impossible.”

“But you weren’t. I found out you’d left a little over a year ago. I only asked around then.”

“That’s not true.”

“Before that… I deliberately avoided hearing about it.”

“Why?”

“Because I kept wanting to hear about you.”

While Hyun caught his breath, I blinked, my eyes stinging.

“Then Seungyeop said he wanted everyone there when he gives out his wedding invitations.”

As if he had decided to ignore my words, Hyun calmly continued.

“So I went to see you.”

“…….”

Looking at his earnest face, like a close-up in a movie, I couldn’t bring myself to deny it any further.

“After seeing you, I thought I had to interview you.”

“…….”

“Even though I kept thinking you’d be angry, that you wouldn’t forgive me, I just wanted to see your face…”

“……And then?”

I didn’t want to hear it. I pushed Hyun’s approaching arm away with my hand and turned away abruptly. His plaintive question hit me hard again.

“Daeun, was I wrong?”

“…….”

“Do you completely hate me now?”

My foot caught on the edge of the step. I steadied my stumbling legs and, panting, turned around sharply. I was ready to unleash something, anything.

Hyun was right behind me. Just like that, with his long arms outstretched as if he was about to catch me if I fell. Standing in the middle of the wide staircase, he was bathed in light like an actor on an ancient stage. The scattered light reflecting off his blinking eyelashes added a sparkle to his gaze.

After all that time, lost and listless, his gaze, now directly on me, awakened distant memories. Thinking back, you’ve been like this ever since we met again. Why did you look at me that way? With the look of someone who wants to crush me, angry, or even contemptuous. Why are all those expressions stuck in the past? Why? Why, when you’re going to act like this?

“Fuck. I really hate you.”

At my harsh words, his face fell. I felt a despicable sense of satisfaction at his evident shock and faint despair, the life draining from his expression. But I couldn’t help it. Did he realize this was the first time in years he’d been at my mercy?

I hurried up the stairs. Ignoring the entrance directly in front of me, I turned sharply to the side and walked away. My uneven breaths grew short as I tried to escape, but the path seemed endless. I looked around the infuriatingly spacious, landscaped interior and turned toward the other side of the tall hedges.

Quiet benches bathed in the glow of streetlights came into view. I collapsed onto the edge of the nearest one. I reached into my pocket and found a crumpled pack of cigarettes. Two cigarettes, miraculously uncrushed, slid out.

I put one in my mouth, but didn’t light it. I rummaged through my pockets again, but I didn’t have a lighter. Annoyed, I chewed on the filter a couple of times when suddenly a bright red flame appeared beside me. It was the first time the presence that had been silently following me had made itself known.

I glared sideways. Hyun’s neat fingertips held the lighter close to the cigarette. I stared at it, then at the tip of his finger starting to redden from the heat, and leaned in. The cigarette lit, I inhaled deeply, and the flame disappeared.

Hyun sat down next to me on the long bench. Even after a deep drag, my heart didn’t calm down. I jiggled my left leg, then stopped abruptly and asked,

“Why did you do that to me back then?”

“I’m sorry.”

As if having lost his usual eloquence, Hyun simply replied with those words. Without any other gesture, he filled his expression with that sentiment. I’m sorry. The clearly enunciated syllables struck my ears again. The apology, finally arriving after such a long and winding road, did nothing to soothe my heart. On the contrary, it stirred up forgotten emotions. I winced, trying to hide my contorted expression.

“I won’t cling to you anymore.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve forgotten everything. Really.”

“Okay.”

“You can say that so easily?”

“It’s not easy, but I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“Thought about what?”

“What I should do.”

“No. No. You can’t. You never will.”

Fuck. I was so miserable back then.

I cried, I pleaded, I did things I swore I’d never do. I swallowed my pride, acted childish, and acted like I would give him anything and everything.

None of the dreams I’d occasionally had clearly expressed how I felt. I clung to every single one of your actions, giving them meaning. Even my dreams forgot that. Only I remembered.

It was something I couldn’t do twice. I endured, feeling how distant you had become from me, who you met, where you went, until finally, I broke down and admitted I was wrong.

And even then, it didn’t work, and I realized it was truly over.

“That time, the time Seungyeop said he saw you… were you really crying because of me?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t answer so easily.”

“It’s not an easy answer, it’s the truth.”

“I thought you were a messed-up person who enjoyed watching me cling to you.”

“No.”

“I cried in front of you, and you didn’t even change your expression.”

“…….”

“You always cried.”

But why did you cry in hiding? Why? Why couldn’t you cry in front of me, even once? Tell me you were at least a little sad. Tell me you used to like me. I felt like absolute trash after you dumped me like that.

“Are you sure you were crying because of me? How am I supposed to believe that?”

“That day. It was the day before we broke up.”

Lee Hyun, having said this, squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them.

“I was young. I didn’t know how to sort out my feelings. I was agonizing alone, and you weren’t coming home. So, I tried doing what you were always doing.”

“Why did you do that alone?”

“I didn’t know any better.”

Lee Hyun’s calm voice became agitated. He moved a bit closer, closing the distance between us as we sat side-by-side. Our eyes met at a slanted angle. We wore similar expressions, caught in the same memories of the past.

“Why did you have to break up with me, even while crying like that? Was that your life goal back then?”

“I thought we weren’t compatible. Remember? You would be cooped up in the club room all night working, only coming home in the morning, and instead of sleeping or resting, you’d come to my studio, wanting to see my face and cuddle. And I was there, checking my phone for your messages from evening till dawn, messing up my entire schedule.”

“I told you to sleep first.”

“Fuck. If I could fall asleep without you crawling into bed next to me, would we even be considered a couple?”

Lee Hyun, who had burst out in anger, mumbled quickly through gritted teeth.

“So, I figured in the long run, it wouldn’t last. Thinking that way, I reached a conclusion. We should break up.”

“How does that lead to ‘we should break up’?”

“Before I liked you more!”

His voice, filled with anguish, echoed faintly, reflecting off the building in the garden. With a burst of loud emotion, Lee Hyun exhaled deeply and held back a ragged breath. His agitated tone continued.

“I wanted to stop before I was more affected, Jio.”

“Did you cry your eyes out because you were so impressed by your logical self, asshole?”

“No.”

“What do you mean no.”

“You see me as a real jerk, but…”

“Am I wrong?”

“Being apart from you… that made me sad.”

“…….”

“That can happen, can’t it? Please.”

Smooth skin, black hair, a fully matured physique, and a straight posture. You, different from the twenty-year-old you, a version I could never have, reached out to me. You gently took my hand, like holding a child’s wrist, as if careful not to irritate my injured arm. You took the barely lit cigarette from me, transferring it between our fingers.

I remember that distant, young day, when you, arrogant, looked down on me despite my love and longing. Everything about you now contradicted that time. All my assumptions about knowing you were crumbling. Tangled and disheveled, they scattered, then reassembled before my eyes, forming the complete you.

“Why did you scrap this contract, Mr. Logical?”

My voice trembled uncontrollably as I asked.

“I wanted to do this for you, just once.”

“What is ‘this’?”

“Giving you what you want.”

It’s all wrong, all a mistake. My mind reeled, but Lee Hyun’s words and actions aligned perfectly. He raised his pale hands and cupped my face, gently pulling me closer. I felt his hands, cradling the area below my cheekbones, carefully pressing against my skin. The slow movement felt like it would leave fingerprints. His eyelids lifted slowly, revealing longing eyes fixed on me.

“How can I get back together with you?”

1. I really hate you (2)

Perhaps, without even realizing it, I had been longing for that moment last night. A day when, miraculously, Lee Hyun would look at me again, and we’d face each other once more. But the moment itself, when it finally arrived, wasn’t as touching as I’d imagined. Instead of being moved, I was excessively angry and immaturely dredged up the past…

But, damn it, that bastard created that past, so what could I do?

Lying in bed, thinking about last night’s events, I suddenly sat up. I paced around the room, rummaging through the house all morning, grumbling to myself. Did I do that? Did I really do that? Did I ruin our relationship? This is all his fault, all the karma he created.

I stomped around the house. I slammed the refrigerator door open and shut, searching for something to eat, then grabbed a piece of bread from the cupboard, chewing it aggressively as I perched on the edge of the dining table. I didn’t care if breadcrumbs fell.

Work. I have to go to work. I’ve been wanting to quit anyway, should I just quit? A mere eight hours have passed since last night’s momentous event, yet I have to return to the orbit of daily life and go to work. Have you ever seen such bullshit?

Thinking about the office, I recalled the script for a reunion romance miniseries that my assistant writer was writing for a drama contest. He’d begged me to read and give feedback on it. I remembered the ending where the male lead returns, and the female lead welcomes him with open arms.

Really? Does that actually happen? Does someone who’s been desperately in love suddenly jump for joy when they receive a confession from the object of their affection? No. Absolutely not. I can guarantee that. The only thought that comes to mind is, ‘What took you so long?’ I’ll have to give him that advice later.

It felt like an insurmountable wall had lowered itself to my eye level. Now, I wanted to pour out all the emotions that had been echoing within me like a painful reverberation against that wall – anger, resentment, and everything else. No matter what nice things I try to say, it keeps coming back to, ‘But, fucking hell.’ Sigh.

“Such a mess.”

I know. I look pathetic. I forcefully chewed on another piece of bread, trying to overcome the wave of embarrassment washing over me.

What’s frustrating is that I’m hesitant to dump Lee Hyun outright, even though I have every reason to. It’s because of my wavering heart, always second-guessing myself.

After we broke up, I saw Lee Hyun coming to pick me up countless times, and I thought, even though he says it’s not true, it didn’t seem like he hated me that much. So why did he do it? If he’d dated someone else and moved on completely, I would have been able to let go of my feelings, but why hadn’t I even heard a whisper about him dating anyone afterward? Why, when a junior from the club confessed to him, did he reject her, saying he didn’t have the time to date, even someone he truly liked?

I couldn’t even bring myself to entertain the pathetic notion of inserting myself into that scenario, even when I was alone, hidden away in my room. The excitement I felt in my heart clashed with the warnings from my rational mind, muddling my thoughts. Don’t go back to your ex. But, those were his true feelings, weren’t they?

The door opened halfway, and long legs stepped out. I remained defiantly perched on the edge of the table, continuing to tear at my bread. My crossed leg bounced repeatedly. Slightly sleepy eyes, still not fully awake, involuntarily scanned me from head to toe. Yet, he didn’t retreat or move. He just stood there, holding his ground. When our eyes met, Lee Hyun chuckled.

“Eating breakfast, I see.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“Good job.”

He said this in a perfectly calm and gentle tone, then turned and went back to his room. Only after his figure completely disappeared did I start chewing my bread again. As if, after a night, I was reassured that his gentle demeanor and the expression of wanting to be near me were genuine.

This feeling that had been tormenting me for the past few days was a mixture of sentimentality about Lee Hyun, about my unrequited love. It was also a clear sense of resentment. The resentment of ‘Why now?’ Why didn’t you come sooner? Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I felt parched and went to get some water when I heard him call me again.

“Let’s go.”

A round, silver metallic keyring dangled from his index finger. Lee Hyun came out wearing a cap pulled low over his eyes.

“Where are we going?”

“Your work.”

“Why are you taking me?”

“I’m responsible for your arm.”

“Since when?”

Even though I felt petty arguing with him at every turn, thankfully, Lee Hyun didn’t seem to mind and simply walked ahead. I brushed the bread crumbs off my fingers, got up, and followed him out.

Thanks to the later-than-usual departure time, the drive was smooth, and the car stopped in front of my office building. Lee Hyun, holding the steering wheel with one hand, turned to look at me. He definitely seemed more relaxed than during the project. He finally looked like someone living a normal life, his face softened by the sunlight.

“What time are you coming over today?”

“I don’t know.”

This wasn’t because I didn’t want to answer or was being difficult. It was because I genuinely didn’t know. But even without an excuse, Lee Hyun let it slide.

“Okay. Come when you want.”

“Thanks for the ride.”

The lingering resentment was a secondary issue. He did give me a ride, even though I was being difficult since morning, so it was the right thing to do, as a functioning adult, to thank him properly. Lee Hyun, holding the steering wheel with both hands, leaned forward slightly and met my eyes as I opened the door.

“I hope you’ll have forgiven me a little more by the time you come over.”

He smiled, and in that moment, I slammed the door shut. The loud bang made the car shake. Coming to my senses, I walked briskly into the building. Before reaching the elevator after crossing the lobby, I caught a glimpse of my flushed face in the long mirror. I rubbed my cheeks, trying to suppress the tumultuous feelings inside. No. Don’t be swayed so easily. This will only lead to more heartache.

Getting off on my relatively low floor, I walked down the hallway, already anticipating another day of hard work, and suddenly thought, is that guy really okay?

For questions like this, the best person to ask was someone who knew Lee Hyun well and was also talkative. Geonjung knew what was going on, but he was the type to just send a curt text asking, “Made it to work?” In times like these, Seungyeop, who would spill everything with the slightest nudge, was the perfect candidate. As lunch break started a little early, people began leaving their desks one by one. I waved to them as they passed.

“I have a call to make, so I’ll be eating alone today. Enjoy your lunch.”

As soon as everyone left, I grabbed my jacket, slowly slipped my arm into the sleeve, and headed towards the building’s emergency exit. I wondered if anyone else might be there already, but no one seemed busy enough to be making calls during lunch. After glancing up and down the connecting stairs, I pressed Seungyeop’s number, the one I had just texted. Before the third ring, Seungyeop picked up.

―What took you so long?

“Late? It’s not even 12 o’clock yet.”

―Anyway. What did you want to ask?

“I still don’t understand, even after hearing about it yesterday.”

―What don’t you understand?

“Well…. Is it really that bad if the Link thing doesn’t sell? I mean, I know Sungjae wanted to sell it, but if it doesn’t sell, can’t they just keep running it?”

―Ah. You see, you know how their stock price has plummeted, right?

“Yeah. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to go up anytime soon, does it?”

―Yeah, that’s kind of the situation. They rode a wave of hype, but when you actually look at it, they don’t really do much. Honestly. They call themselves creators, right? For them to become more successful, they need to move to bigger platforms and focus on what they do best, not Link Management. All Link can offer is video production support, which is why they tried creating sales channels and new communication SNS platforms, but none of it worked out. The optimization was poor, and they couldn’t manage the updates and maintenance properly. Looks like they outsourced all the development.

“Really?”

―Yeah. The company’s role is a bit ambiguous. Meanwhile, the funds were looking to acquire it and try to turn things around, so the shareholders were eager to sell and get out.

“So.”

―So, it went on the market. And everyone jumped on it, scrutinizing everything. Investment firms did their due diligence, Lee Hyun’s consulting firm conducted a feasibility study and analyzed their business strategy, I went through their accounting records, law firms investigated any fair trade issues or lawsuits, stock options, everything. They completely dissected it, and Lee Hyun wrote the main report. It was terrible. Don’t buy it.

“Uh….”

―There were a few private equity funds that were initially interested, so everyone was watching. But Lee Hyun, after being asked to sell it, completely exposed them like that. How do you think the industry will view Lee Hyun now? Do you think they’ll think, ‘Oh, he’s a genius who uncovered all the risks and advised us not to buy it?’

“But he told them not to buy it because it wasn’t good. Isn’t that a good thing?”

―No. Usually, they don’t explicitly say not to buy. They always try to sell, no matter what. They would sugarcoat the flaws. No matter how talented Lee Hyun is, he’s not even at the manager level yet, so he shouldn’t be saying things like that.

“Ah….”

―Everyone involved in these deals knows what they’re getting into. You try to sell it at the highest price, and if it works, great, and if not, then it doesn’t. But he didn’t even try to sugarcoat it. So, Link is basically ruined, and I’m actually fine with them failing. But if he reveals their weaknesses like this, who’s going to hire Lee Hyun in the future to analyze their company? When he exposes everything so bluntly?

“……No.”

―I heard he completely tore them apart. Low customer loyalty, buying patterns overly influenced by trends, even pointing out that they adjusted their customer satisfaction scale from a 5-point system with a 4-point average to a 10-point system with a 9-point average. He listed about ten risks, including the increased fees for in-app purchases.

I didn’t fully understand the long explanation. I could only grasp this much because it was a company I had worked for and been involved with. Out of Seungyeop’s long, agitated rant, I could only filter out a few key points, and my overall conclusion was:

“So…. Lee Hyun tanked a deal everyone knew was risky, without even trying to make it sound better?”

―Exactly. Everyone knows the game, but if you expose everything like that, even those who were considering buying will back off. Thanks to him, our success fees went down the drain. My success fee, gone!

“And this is a very unusual thing to happen.”

―I’ve seen people interrupt final report presentations to show off, but I’ve never seen anyone give a ‘don’t buy this’ presentation. Not this year, at least. Probably not next year either.

“I see.”

―And I told you, my success fee is gone! When you go back, could you please kick Lee Hyun just once for me? I told you I sent him feedback at 8 pm, 10 pm, and even 2 am. And he still screws it up like this.

“Get some rest now.”

―Do you think I can sleep now? You’re lucky. Link ended up failing.

“I’m not happy about it. I worked really hard on that.”

―Oh…. I put my foot in my mouth again, didn’t I?

“Not enough to buy you a meal.”

―Sorry.

“It’s fine. Go eat lunch. It’s over now.”

But even if it’s over, it’s okay to wallow in regret. Seungyeop hesitantly hung up. His tone suggested he’d apologize a couple more times later. The screen went black after the call ended. Looking at its smooth surface, I thought, Sungjae really hasn’t contacted me. I wonder if he’s busy trying to salvage the situation.

Lee Hyun, Geonjung, and Seungyeop had all repeatedly asked me the same question, but my answer remained the same. I don’t know how I feel.

I didn’t want the company to completely fail. Looking back, I had regrets, but I never wanted that memory, that piece of my past, to be completely destroyed. It could have served as a lesson, a guidepost, as I moved forward. In fact, I was planning to leave and find a new studio once I had saved up enough money.

So why didn’t you just let it go and take the commission? I sighed, remembering Lee Hyun’s thin frame, showing signs of exhaustion. He worked so hard, he should have at least gotten his success fee. Why ruin his career? Have you ever ruined anything in your life?

I realized the weight of what Lee Hyun had given up for me. Feeling the burden of that weight myself, my steps grew heavier as I turned away. I felt even less joyful.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

Lee Hyun’s claim that he was taking some time off seemed genuine, as he drove me to work the next day and the day after that. The most noticeable change was his attire. On the first day, he must have been truly exhausted, looking disheveled, but from the second day onwards, his appearance changed. Lee Hyun, who had been wearing a black turtleneck pulled up to his neck, now had his hair neatly styled as he led the way to take me to work yesterday morning.

And this morning, he was wearing a thin black shirt, black pants, and even dress shoes. Another new look, different from yesterday. His prominent ankle bone peeked out and disappeared with each movement of his foot. I leaned my arm against the car window, watching him before turning my gaze away. Today, we sailed through every traffic light, arriving about five minutes earlier than yesterday. The car parked in the same spot as yesterday, and as I unbuckled my seatbelt, I offered my now-routine thanks.

“Thanks.”

“What time are you coming home today?”

“Probably… in the evening. Might be late because of preparations for tomorrow’s shoot.”

“Where’s the shoot? Are you going to get rained on again?”

“Just in Seoul this time.”

I reached for the door handle and pulled, then looked back. Lee Hyun, sitting impeccably dressed, glanced at me after looking straight ahead. He looked at me as if asking if I had something to say, so I hesitated before speaking.

“Don’t wait for me. Have dinner first.”

“I get bored when I’m alone.”

“You used to live there alone.”

“Not anymore.”

He said that even though he knew he’d be living alone again soon. I glared at the corners of his mouth, which seemed to be downturned, and instead of responding, I asked something else.

“Where are you going now?”

“Why?”

“No reason. Just… you’re dressed up.”

“I always wear clothes.”

“No, I mean…. Never mind.”

“Are you curious where I’m going?”

He asked, his expression as gentle as his voice. But his tone was utterly indifferent.

“No,” I replied. It’s always best to say no.

But Lee Hyun, with an unaffected expression, smiled softly and murmured to himself, as if speaking to me,

“Jio, you know?”

“What?”

“You like it best when I dress like this.”

I glared at his bright expression and slammed the car door shut again. Still, it was gentler than the first day.

The car, with its taillights on, smoothly merged into the flow of traffic and disappeared into the distance. I watched the back of the car with unfocused eyes and trudged into the office. Where is he going, all dressed up like that? It seemed too much effort just to take me to work.

No. Why should I care? Don’t think about it. Lee Hyun had said he hoped I’d be over it when I came back, yet he hadn’t mentioned it again. He just stayed at home, only going out to drive me to and from work or when we went out to eat together.

But that was coming to an end. It was time for me to pack up and leave. As if defying everyone’s concerns, Sungjae remained silent, without a single contact. I moved my almost-healed shoulder and entered the office. I was at my desk, opening a shooting proposal that had arrived via email and typing on my laptop, when the staff member across from me stood up and asked,

“Jio, I heard the location for this shoot is dark. What camera did you use the other night? It would be good to bring that one.”

“That’s mine. I manually adjusted the settings.”

“Wow. You got those results manually? How?”

“It’s just… second nature.”

“Just? That’s skill. Anyway, wouldn’t that be better?”

“Seems like it. It looks like we’ll be shooting inside a warehouse or something. I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

I realized it was probably still in the drawer of my tiny room back at the goshiwon. I should also grab my external hard drive and other things I left there. Just then, a message from Geonjung popped up in the corner of my laptop screen with a notification sound.

[Are you free this evening?]

[I don’t know yet.]

[Let me know if you are.]

[Are you nearby?]

[Yeah.]