Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 17

Early in the morning, Hongyo, having stopped by the training hall, headed straight for the fabric shop as soon as the lesson ended. The reason he visited the fabric shop, despite having no work that day, was solely because of Cha Gamyoung.

“Sir, did Gamyoung come by today?”

After bowing respectfully, Hongyo inquired about Gamyoung’s whereabouts, just as he had done two weeks prior. And just as before, the same reply came.

“That rascal hasn’t shown up. It would be nice if he’d at least appear before I fire him for good.”

Despite his words, the shop owner’s face was etched with worry. It had already been a month since Cha Gamyoung disappeared without a word.

At first, when he didn’t see Gamyoung at the training hall, he thought he might be avoiding him, still upset about that day’s incident. But as three days turned into a week, and a week into two, he couldn’t just stand by idly. Gamyoung was someone who often missed work for other reasons, even without fabric shop duties, but this was the first time he had been absent for so long. As Hongyo nodded with a gloomy expression, the shop owner asked,

“He hasn’t been to the training hall either?”

“No. I told Master that he might be away for a few days, just like I told you, sir.”

“That’s strange. That rascal, though he’s slick, isn’t one to be out of sight for this long.”

Seeing Hongyo’s increasingly gloomy expression, the shop owner quickly added,

“A grown man who’s trained in martial arts, what trouble could he possibly be in? He’s probably just gone to his hometown for a change of scenery.”

But Hongyo couldn’t shake off his worried expression. It had been over six years since he first met Gamyoung, but this was the first time he had vanished without any explanation. While they couldn’t meet every day due to their differing circumstances, they had seen each other quite often since they started attending the training hall together, so his absence felt strangely significant. Gamyoung always came looking for him, even when he slept over at his house. This was the first time Hongyo had actively sought Gamyoung out.

‘Hometown…’

Hongyo rolled the word around in his mind before bidding farewell to the shop owner.

“I’ll come by again. If Gamyoung happens to show up, please be sure to let me know.”

“I should be the one asking you that favor. I still have unpaid wages for him, so tell him to come collect it himself. And to stop worrying people.”

As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one worried about Gamyoung. The shop owner, his master, and even some shopkeepers, the tavern owner he frequented, and the butcher, all asked about Gamyoung.

But Gamyoung, who had vanished without a trace, was nowhere to be found. As Hongyo left the fabric shop, he thought,

‘Could something really have happened?’ 

Even more surprising was the realization that he knew almost nothing about Gamyoung. Unlike Gamyoung, who treated his house like his own, all he knew was that he had come from the countryside and lived modestly despite being from a noble family.

Heading to Gamyoung’s house, which he had visited several times since his disappearance, Hongyo looked around, confirmed that no one was there, and hopped over the wall. He then entered the house as if it were his own. As expected of a nobleman’s son, the house with a bolted gate bore the traces of the day its owner disappeared.

Whether due to his personality or his financial situation, the house had very few possessions. A mother-of-pearl chest occupied one wall, and behind a small desk, there was an octagonal window. But the owner of the room was nowhere to be seen, and only the occasional sound of wind chimes, which he often heard while idly lounging there, could be heard.

Hongyo checked the desk, which he had already searched before. But as expected, there were no letters now that hadn’t been there before. Feeling a sense of disappointment, he lifted and put down the desk a few times before lying down on the dusty floor. Even though the weather hadn’t turned truly cold yet, the room, which hadn’t been heated in a while, held no warmth.

“Did you really go back to your hometown?”

But there was no answer to his question. Hongyo feigned a cough, as if he had caught a cold. But the voice that would usually ask, “Are you alright?” despite pretending not to care, was nowhere to be heard.

Hongyo pouted. Even though he tried not to admit it, the house, without Gamyoung’s presence, felt undeniably cold. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t understand why Gamyoung would disappear without a word, even to him. He was always busy and elusive, so a few days of absence was understandable, but he had never imagined that Gamyoung would vanish so completely without a trace.

Perhaps it was because his presence had been so constant that he hadn’t felt the need to seek him out. He wasn’t just an acquaintance; they were close friends. And that friend had vanished overnight. Without a word to him. That was the most shocking part. He was surprised by Gamyoung disappearing without telling him, but even more so by the fact that he had no way to find him. Despite being his closest friend, he had never even been to Gamyoung’s family home.

He had always known that Gamyoung would leave someday. Their circumstances were too different. He knew that once Gamyoung obtained a government position, got married to a good woman, a friend like him would become secondary, and they would naturally drift apart. But now that Gamyoung had disappeared like this, he was beyond disappointed; he was angry.

“You idiot. Just you wait till I see you.”

Despite his sharp words, his face was filled with dejection. Instead of a response, which never came, Hongyo quietly listened to the sound of the wind chimes in the cold room. The tinkling sound of the chimes colliding with each other in the wind felt oddly serene, oblivious to his feelings. He didn’t know why Gamyoung had disappeared like that, but he couldn’t shake off a nagging feeling of unease.

In any case, Gamyoung was someone who, despite causing such worry, would reappear as if nothing had happened. He had always been that way. There must have been a reason he couldn’t tell him why he disappeared. He was certain of that. They hadn’t spent years together for nothing. But still, the last image of Gamyoung bothered him.

‘What does it matter? We’ll drift apart anyway.’

The last time he saw him, Gamyoung’s face was so cold. It was an expression he had never seen before, even when they argued. But he was also at fault for making assumptions about Gamyoung’s feelings for Sujin without knowing the truth.

But to say they would drift apart…

Hongyo pouted. After all the years they spent together, how could he say such a thing?

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

“Your Highness, let us try adding another layer of fabric.”

Meanwhile, Gamyoung, surrounded by several court ladies, was raising and lowering his arms, turning and tilting his head as they instructed, in a flurry of activity.

“Do as you please.”

Despite granting permission, his face was a mask of displeasure. He couldn’t even fathom when this tedious process would end. At this point, Kyungrak, who had joyfully tried on dozens of outfits without complaint, felt like a monster. He was exhausted just from having three outfits made – one for the coronation ceremony and two spares for the banquet – but the next emperor was preparing even more spare outfits. He seemed less like a dragon and more like a monster.

However, unlike Gamyoung, who was already drained from simply having fabric layered on him repeatedly, the court ladies seemed rather cheerful. Not all royals possessed exceptionally handsome features, but as those born with the dragon’s power, they were generally well-built. Among them, Kyungrak, who would ascend to the throne, excelled in both physique and appearance, but Gamyoung also had many secret admirers of his looks.

If Kyungrak was a strikingly handsome and flamboyant beauty, Gamyoung, though slender, possessed refined, clear features and elegant lines, as if painted with a brush. However, perhaps due to his considerable height, broad shoulders, and an air of inapproachability when still, he exuded a different kind of charisma than Kyungrak. Therefore, it wasn’t entirely the court ladies’ fault that they couldn’t easily choose a fabric, as every piece suited him.

But Gamyoung was just waiting for this moment to end. Actually, it wasn’t just this moment. It was something he couldn’t dare utter aloud, but he desperately wanted the coronation ceremony to be over, so he could escape this absurd process and the stifling palace life.

It had been a month since he last stepped outside due to the coronation preparations. The palace was always a busy and bustling place, but it was especially so lately. Even for the Imryong Festival, no detail was overlooked in the preparations, and this was the ascension ceremony of a new emperor.

It was Wonguk’s custom for the crown prince, chosen by the dragon, to become the new emperor, and for the current emperor to step down and become the Retired Emperor. But even that was only possible when the emperor abdicated, as was the case now. Most of the time, after the emperor’s death, the crown prince, chosen as the next emperor, ascended the throne after the Imryong Festival. If the crown prince was not chosen by the dragon, another prince would face the trial. Therefore, it was natural that the royal palace, welcoming a new ruler after decades, was incredibly busy.

With things as they were, Gamyoung couldn’t freely leave the palace as before. No matter how distant he was from imperial power as the sixth prince, family was still family. If he were seen gallivanting outside while Kyungrak was preparing for the coronation ceremony, it would only invite unfavorable rumors. Rumors would be the least of their concerns. If he happened to eat something spoiled outside and fell ill, it would be seen as a bad omen for the coronation, which had to be perfect. So everyone in the royal family, including Gamyoung, was being cautious.

‘Even so, I didn’t expect it to be this restrictive when I’m not even the one ascending the throne.’

Gamyoung swallowed a sigh. The court ladies, having finished their measurements, bowed and left the room.

Only then did Gamyoung collapse onto the bed. Unable to leave the palace for a month, he felt restless and couldn’t stand it. If he had always lived within the palace walls, it would have been different, but having grown accustomed to life outside, no matter how vast the palace was, it couldn’t compare to the real outside world. It might sound like a blessed complaint to some, but Gamyoung longed for the world where ordinary people lived.

He enjoyed earning money through his own labor, recommending fabrics to customers like the court ladies had just done, learning practical calculations from merchants, haggling over hunted game, and living amongst them. Seeing what brought them joy, what troubled them, and how they lived, he felt that everyone, whether royalty or commoner, was the same. And…

‘If I’d known that would be the last time, I would have at least gone to see the lanterns.’

Regret, he didn’t know how many times he’d felt it now, washed over him again. If he’d known that everyone residing in the palace would be confined until the coronation ceremony after that day, he wouldn’t have shown that side of himself to Hongyo. Thinking about it, Hongyo hadn’t meant any harm by his words. Now, a month later, the resentment from that day had faded, leaving only regret. Perhaps it was because the last expression he showed Hongyo was, even in his own opinion, cold.

Even so, as friends, he was most worried about Hongyo in this situation. After all, it was he who had disappeared without a word.

‘I wonder if he’s worried about me too.’

But he couldn’t be sure that Hongyo felt the same concern for him as he did for Hongyo. Just then, he heard the voice of a court lady calling for him from outside the room. As Gamyoung raised his head to answer, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and his expression hardened.

The reflection staring back at him looked incredibly forlorn.