Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 22

“I wish to go with Hongyo.”

His tone was calm but quite firm. However, Kyungrak’s expression turned a little strange upon hearing those words.

“The only Hongyo I know is Yeo Hongyo.”

“Yes. That’s the Hongyo I mean.”

At that, Kyungrak replied as if there was nothing more to hear.

“Permission denied.”

I had expected he wouldn’t grant permission easily, but I hadn’t thought the answer would be this resolute. This was Kyungrak, of all people. Although he had formed master-student bonds with several children from the outside, Hongyo was certainly special among them. He cherished him enough to set up a special scholarship to support Hongyo, who couldn’t afford to attend the dojang. So, my hope that he would at least consider it, even if he didn’t approve it at once, was met with a starkly stubborn refusal. Gamyoung asked.

“Is it perhaps because of his skill? Don’t you, my brother, know Hongyo’s martial prowess better than anyone? He is not a boy who would ever let me get hurt.”

“This isn’t about his martial skill. The problem is his qualification.”

“By qualification, are you referring to his social status? Didn’t you say that the Kangmu is an event even commoners can participate in?”

“Only the military training part. Don’t you know that the hunting ritual requires an escort warrior to be in attendance? The only ones who can serve as guards for the royal family are those of noble birth or those who have been appointed to an official post and recognized as a noble family. But Hongyo doesn’t belong to either, does he? I understand your heart in wanting to do this for your friend, but this is against the rules.”

As if to say he would not discuss the matter further, Kyungrak drew a clear line. Gamyoung just stared at Kyungrak. This was the first event Kyungrak was presiding over. So, under normal circumstances, he would have stopped being stubborn and followed his words. But this time, Gamyoung himself could not bend his will. It was something he had agonized over endlessly since the day he met Hongyo again. And the conclusion he had reached was, as expected, Yeo Hongyo.

“The head shaman of Hyunjingwan is also Your Majesty’s subject. Has she not been appointed to a government post, even if she hasn’t been granted a noble title? And Hongyo is her legally adopted son. Isn’t that qualification enough?”

The words he had prepared in case of such an event flowed out calmly. He met Kyungrak’s gaze. They were no longer brothers, but sovereign and subject. To ignore his sovereign’s command and make a choice contrary to the emperor’s will was by no means a good thing.

It might have been easier if Kyungrak had just assigned him a partner from the start. But for Gamyoung, to go against the will of the emperor and state his own thoughts was not easy at all. When they were brothers, it might have sounded like a request from an immature younger sibling, but the dynamic of ruler and subject was a completely different game. It could even lead to a situation where he fell out of favor. But Gamyoung could not give up.

Because no matter how much he agonized and reconsidered, the only person he could trust his back to was Hongyo.

Thus, Gamyoung could not avoid the gaze that bore down on him. He had to prove that his choice was not a disregard for the favor shown to him, but the best one he could make. Furthermore, he had to show his resolve that he did not think of Hongyo lightly as just his friend. So, when Kyungrak opened his mouth again, Gamyoung couldn’t help but tense up.

“Gamyoung. I understand your intentions well. But I wish to pair you with someone who can be a genuine source of strength for you. Of course, I know Hongyo is the head shaman’s adopted son. But that does not equate to power. Have you forgotten that you have a responsibility to help me make this country stronger and more prosperous in the future?”

“Your Majesty…”

“Have you already forgotten? Did you not say so with your own lips, Gamyoung? That you would always be by my brother’s side.”

“But I am a member of the royal family, just like Your Majesty. I should not hold a high office, nor covet one…”

“Then who am I to trust in this vast palace? I know the Imperial Palace is a place where even blood brothers will stab you in the back. But you are Gamyoung, aren’t you?”

“……”

“My younger brother, my loyal subject, and the friend I’ve been with since childhood.”

Gamyoung fell silent for a moment. He had always dismissed it as a joke whenever Kyungrak would say things like wanting him to be a great general or to assist him by his side, but he knew there was some sincerity mixed in those words.

But if his thoughts were different from Kyungrak’s… Gamyoung instinctively felt that now was the time to speak his mind.

“Brother.”

It was an old form of address he hadn’t used once since the coronation, insisting on calling him ‘Your Majesty’ no matter how much Kyungrak had told him otherwise. When they were very young, there was a time he had called him that more often than his own mother, whose memory was now faint. Kyungrak’s eyes widened in surprise, then curved into a smile.

“Yes, my dear brother.”

To that playful yet deeply affectionate voice, Gamyoung carefully chose his words.

“If you ever need me, brother, I will always be by your side as your younger brother, but I will decline any position. I have already decided to leave the palace.”

At that, Kyungrak looked at Gamyoung with a look of surprise far greater than before.

“You’re going to leave the palace?”

“I too will soon reach the age of majority, will I not? So, shouldn’t I be allowed to decide where I live? If you govern the country righteously, brother, life will become better for me.”

Stunned by those words, Kyungrak let out a hollow laugh. Then, he burst into loud laughter.

“Gamyoung, you still know how to act up, banking on the fact that I adore you. Still, I need at least one person by my side who knows how to speak their mind like this. To think the little kid with the runny nose is all grown up. Still, Gamyoung, don’t invest your heart too much in a momentary amusement.”

“…Amusement?”

“Yes. No matter how much you go out and live among the common people, you are my brother who shares the dragon’s power. For now, you can live as you please, but later you will surely have to take responsibility for your lineage. So what I mean is, don’t give your heart too much to the outside world, and don’t be too soft on them. I can’t say anything about you being so full of affection, but as your older brother, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Gamyoung looked at Kyungrak. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what Kyungrak was talking about. As Kyungrak said, no matter how much he mingled and lived with the common people, he was ultimately royalty. What he was born with, his environment, his way of thinking—they were all different.

But he hadn’t considered leaving the palace without this much resolve. He had no intention of living as a feudal prince, receiving a fief and ruling over a region like his other brothers. Even if he had to do so later, it wasn’t now. Therefore, he had never once considered his current life an amusement. For him, reality was now the world outside, not the Imperial Palace.

However, Kyungrak’s next words, despite being a question he had fully anticipated and prepared for, made his heart drop.

“And Hongyo is one of them.”

“……”

“If you participate with Hongyo, your identity as an imperial prince, which you’ve hidden until now, will be revealed. Will you be alright with that?”

Kyungrak’s eyes narrowed. His gaze, as if testing him, held its target relentlessly. Gamyoung straightened his shoulders. That question, which was now testing him, was also the very question that had tormented him to the very end.

Hongyo was someone who already thought of a different path for himself, even with Gamyoung’s fake identity as a student from a provincial noble family. If he were to find out that even this was a forged identity and that he was, in fact, royalty, he couldn’t even begin to guess how Hongyo would react.

Whether his friend, whom he had considered his closest, would be angry at the deception, or if he would never show his face again out of a sense of betrayal, or if he would grow distant out of deference. He couldn’t recklessly guess any of it. But there wasn’t a single possible reaction that wasn’t terrifying. This was why Kyungrak had asked if he would be alright.

He could lose a lifelong friend. For such a special friendship, losing it would surely leave a hole in his heart that would be hard to fill. If he didn’t reveal the truth, Hongyo might continue to know him as a poor student, but they could remain friends as they were now. Looking at it from various angles, taking Hongyo to the Kangmu was far more dangerous than the current situation. If it weren’t for the Kangmu, there would be no need to reveal the truth. In fact, things remaining unknown as they were now might be the way to maintain their friendship for a long time.

But still, there was only one answer.

“Yes. Because the only person I can trust my back to is, after all, Hongyo.”

No matter how many times he had pondered it, staying up for nights on end, the only person in the world he could trust was Yeo Hongyo. Therefore, a future where that boy left his side should not exist in the slightest. He couldn’t watch that boy’s talent rot away while he couldn’t even dream of a future because he had to care for his grandmother and adoptive mother. Rather than deceiving the boy and watching that happen for the rest of his life, he wanted to let Hongyo soar, even if it meant cracking their friendship. The kid deserved it.

That was the conclusion he had reached. He didn’t want to lie to Hongyo anymore. It was fine if Hongyo got angry or felt awkward. He would beg for forgiveness until his anger subsided, and if he felt awkward, he would wait until he became comfortable again. If he tried to pull away, Gamyoung would just take two more steps closer.

When the thirteen-year-old Yeo Hongyo had unhesitatingly saved him, it wasn’t because his status was high or low. It was solely out of a desire to save a person. So this time too, Gamyoung decided to trust Hongyo. If he could entrust his life to him, would the trust they had built up until now change just because of a mere difference in status? After all the years they had spent together, there was no way they would grow distant over something like this.

Gamyoung looked straight at Kyungrak and said,

“Therefore, please grant me permission to designate Yeo Hongyo as my escort warrior, Your Majesty.”

A stubbornness could be felt in his upright gaze. Kyungrak sighed internally. Sometimes he acted older than his age, but at times like this, he was unmistakably a child. He had been a stubborn mule since he was young, and it seemed that couldn’t be completely broken even after he grew up. But what could he do? One way or another, he was the younger brother he was especially fond of among all his siblings.

Kyungrak looked at Gamyoung, who was putting on a ridiculous show of etiquette just because he was in front of the emperor, and let out an answer mixed with a sigh.

“How could I ever win against you? Fine. Do as you wish.”