Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 21

An unexpected person came up in an unexpected part of the conversation. I knew that Hongyo’s adoptive mother was the head shaman of Hyunjingwan, but that was just a fact Kyungrak had told me; I had never heard directly from Hongyo who she was. Even when I brought up his adoptive mother, he would only say she was a shaman belonging to Hyunjingwan, never speaking of her directly, so this was the first time I’d heard a story like this. Then again, I hadn’t revealed to Hongyo that I was a prince, so he probably wouldn’t have thought to tell me he knew someone from a state-affiliated institution.

But what bothered me now was his voice. The voice that flowed out calmly was dry and devoid of any expectation, as if he had long since resigned himself to his fate. His profile, when he turned, was the same.

“What do you mean by that?”

When Gamyoung asked, Hongyo, who had been quietly staring into the fire, turned his head toward him.

“It’s exactly as I said. You can go wherever your feet take you, whether you return to your hometown, stay here, or leave for a foreign country, but I can’t leave this place. There are people I need to be with.”

“Even so, you don’t have to live exactly like this. You’re so skilled, with just a little more training, you could take the military exam and become a military official.”

“How could I possibly take the exam?”

Hongyo abruptly stopped speaking. When Gamyoung looked puzzled, Hongyo turned his head forward again and rushed his words out.

“No, I mean, things like politics and power… they’re just not for me. I don’t have the head for that stuff. Besides, I’m not a noble like you, so what’s the point of seeking a government post? I’ll just live like this, and when my grandmother passes away, I’ll probably end up living with just my adoptive mother someday.”

There were various reasons why a shaman would adopt a child from the outside world. Sometimes it was to entrust or bequeath their assets to a reliable person from the outside; other times it was because they needed a child to deliver news from the outside world and run errands. But most of the time, it was because they truly wanted a family.

Having lived their entire lives in Hyunjingwan since childhood, the shamans had no family to return to when their spiritual powers waned and they retired. Forbidden from marrying, they had neither spouses nor children, and having lived their whole lives only in Hyunjingwan, they were unfamiliar with the outside world. Thus, it was not so uncommon for them to create a family by adopting a parentless child from the outside early on.

I didn’t know the full story, but it seemed Hongyo and the head shaman shared such a relationship. Still, for him to define his own destiny like that—wasn’t it too harsh? No matter how little interest Hongyo had in a government post, as someone who knew his skills, I felt it was a greater shame for him to live his life just hunting.

Just then, a thought suddenly lit up my mind.

Gamyoung looked at Hongyo. The guy, who had been sniffling in the increasingly cold night air, stopped poking the firewood and looked up at his gaze, as if to say, What? Gamyoung’s lips parted.

“I’m just saying this on the off chance, but what if. What if I said I wanted to give everything up and be with you forever, would you stay with me?”

Even after spitting out the words, Gamyoung raised an eyebrow, feeling that something was off. To be precise, what he meant was closer to, ‘Even if I reveal that I’m royalty, if I said I still want to be friends with you, could you be my friend forever, just like now?’

But with so much to hide, the sentence had come out unintentionally strange. As expected, Hongyo’s expression grew increasingly odd, as if he had just heard the strangest thing in the world, and before Gamyoung could even offer an excuse, his face contorted.

“Ugh! Did you eat something bad? Why are you being so sappy all of a sudden?”

Then, as if he couldn’t stand it, he started slapping Gamyoung’s back hard. Gamyoung, in turn, skillfully dodged the blows. Seeing his friend, who was the same as ever even after meeting for the first time in a while, Gamyoung thought.

In the first place, it was almost impossible for a royal to be friends with a commoner. They lived in completely different worlds, after all. But seeing how the bond that began when his life was saved remained strong even now, he wondered if they couldn’t truly become friends without barriers. Brother Kyungrak had said that once you’re born into the royal family, you’re surrounded by people who will stab you in the back. That’s why we, who share the dragon’s power, must trust each other. But regardless of all that, shouldn’t there be at least one person in the world to whom you can open your heart?

Someone who would be ‘on my side,’ someone I could trust my back to without any deception, regardless of status or a predetermined path.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

It was late evening. As the classes that had been postponed due to the coronation ceremony resumed, Gamyoung could not miss them. With Kyungrak’s ascension, the former princes who had come of age were to leave the palace. They were enfeoffed as imperial princes, granted fiefs and residences, and left the Imperial Palace. However, Gamyoung, who was not yet an adult, was not permitted to leave the palace and, as the emperor’s younger brother, still had to attend his lessons.

And today, too, was a day he was about to return after diligently finishing his classes. When he turned his head, light was still seeping out from the side hall of Daeyeongjeon. If it were a meeting, it would have been over long ago, so it seemed Kyungrak was still attending to state affairs. No matter how much training he had received to be an emperor, the business of governing was surely not so easy. He had to take what was good from the achievements of the former emperor and boldly reform what was bad, so it was no surprise he was working on state affairs until this hour.

However, after a moment of hesitation, Gamyoung turned on his heel as if he had made up his mind. For days, he had only stared at the lit Daeyeongjeon late into the night. He would start to visit, only to turn back to his own quarters, worried he might disturb the emperor’s work. But with the Kangmu military demonstration now just around the corner, he could no longer postpone his decision. Gamyoung looked at the illuminated window and then headed straight for Daeyeongjeon.

‘I hope he can spare some time.’

Kyungrak had been busy even as the Crown Prince; how much more so as the Emperor? But now, the time had come to truly find an answer. Carrying the answer he had finally reached after days of deliberation, he made his way to Daeyeongjeon.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

In front of the side hall, Gamyoung stood in the corridor. When he announced his presence, the eunuch standing by the door informed Kyungrak of his arrival. Contrary to his expectation of having to wait, permission to enter was granted immediately. The doors soon opened to both sides, and Gamyoung stepped inside.

“I am in Your Majesty’s presence.”

Gamyoung knelt and paid his respects. At that, Kyungrak, seated on the high throne, looked up.

“You may be at ease.”

Only then could Gamyoung stand up and look at Kyungrak. On the high platform, which rose above the chests of the officials standing below, there was only the emperor and the head eunuch assisting him at his side.

“Well now. What brings you here, Gamyoung?”

Kyungrak, who had just set aside the document he was reviewing on a corner of his desk, greeted Gamyoung warmly. It wasn’t the first time he had seen Kyungrak since the coronation, but it was the first time they had a private audience as sovereign and subject, and it felt strange. The casual closeness they had shared as brothers was suddenly so distant, a feeling that came from their very line of sight. Even in the same room, their eye levels were now different. Gamyoung, uncharacteristically, felt awkward in this unfamiliar distance. When Kyungrak suddenly stretched with a big yawn, the head eunuch looked at him with startled eyes, and Kyungrak said to him,

“I’m tired from attending to state affairs for so long. Let’s call it a day.”

Then, he gave Gamyoung a grin and continued.

“To have my dear younger brother visit me at this hour because he misses his big brother. Of course, I must attend to you right away.”

At such irreverent words, the faces of both the head eunuch and Gamyoung turned pale, but Kyungrak just wore a mischievous smile, as if he found it all very amusing. Everything from the clothes Kyungrak wore to his title had changed, but one thing had not. Seeing Kyungrak still grinning cheekily, Gamyoung’s expression finally relaxed.

“I am eternally grateful for you granting me your precious time, Your Majesty.”

“Enough of that. Hearing you say such things gives me the creeps. I figured you’d come around this time, anyway. You think I don’t know you?”

Once the head eunuch finished arranging the royal dragon robe, Kyungrak said,

“Well then. Shall my dear brother and I go see the pond after so long?”

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

Walking through the palace with Kyungrak for the first time in a while, it was quiet, unlike the bustling daytime. Gamyoung followed about two or three steps behind Kyungrak. In the past, they would have walked side by side, but now, no one could walk abreast of the emperor. Gamyoung was looking at the dragon embroidered on Kyungrak’s back when Kyungrak stopped walking, and he quickly halted his steps as well.

“The weather has certainly gotten chilly. To think all those hydrangeas have withered.”

Following Kyungrak’s gaze, he saw that the blue and white hydrangeas that had once filled the area around the pond had all withered away. Befitting a nation that revered the Blue Dragon among the Dragon Gods as its guardian, Won’guk was rich with clean water. Though it was a great continent comparable to any under heaven, it possessed a river in its center that never ran dry and was bordered by a sea that never froze, so it had far fewer worries about food than other nations.

Due to these geographical features, numerous flowers bloomed, but among them, hydrangeas, which are close to water, were the flower symbolizing the empress. Not only were they voluptuous, but the climate suited them well, and as long as they were near water, they did not wilt easily and bloomed longer than any other flower.

However, there was nothing to be done in the face of the season when all things cease their growth and bear fruit. Kyungrak looked at the pond with a sense of lingering regret and said,

“The Empress was very fond of them. It’s a shame.”

“…You’re still the same.”

“Ahem. You’ll understand too when you have a wife of your own. When you’re a couple, you think of them when you see things they like, you want to give them more when you see them happy, and your heart breaks when they’re sad. Then, as you walk this lonely path together, it becomes quite bearable.”

“……”

“Gamyoung, you need to find someone like that, too.”

He had started this long speech just to say that. It was obvious from his smug face, which screamed, ‘You don’t have anyone, do you?’, that Gamyoung hardened his expression as if fed up, and then got to the point.

“I may not have such a person, but I have decided who I will go with to the Kangmu.”

At that, Kyungrak turned to look at Gamyoung, as if he had heard something interesting.

“It seems you’ve finally made up your mind. So, is it the son of the Hyeongju Provincial Governor, or the Guard Captain of the Yukhogun recommended by the General of the Left Camp? Both are famous for their outstanding martial arts, so either one would be fine. Or is there someone else I don’t know of?”

“It is someone Your Majesty also knows.”

“Is that so? Among the generals I know, there are no young military officials as skilled in martial arts as them. I wonder who has captured my dear brother’s heart.”

Kyungrak seemed more excited about choosing his younger brother’s Kangmu partner than his brother himself. However, the answer that came from his brother, who met his gaze directly, was completely unexpected.

“I wish to go with Hongyo.”