Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 44

It was a situation where nothing was easy to understand. Why Kyungrak was sitting on the emperor’s throne, and why Gamyoung was her superior.

Besides, if he was a Royal Brother, didn’t that mean he was the emperor’s younger brother? As she stood there, dumbfounded by a reality she couldn’t believe, the audience finally ended only after Kyungrak announced its conclusion.

“The rest will be left to the commanders, so feel free to catch up.”

As Kyungrak disappeared, Gamyoung approached Hongyo as if he had been waiting. However, before he could get close, he was held up by ministers and the Hwayeonggyeong Gamwis congratulating him on his appointment. It was just for a moment that he took his eyes off her to respond to their greetings. Barely escaping the crowd, Gamyoung chased after Hongyo, who had vanished in the meantime. He had no clue where she could have disappeared to in this vast palace. Simply rushing out of the Daeyeongjeon Hall without a second thought, Gamyoung was able to find Hongyo not too far away.

On the path between the Daeyeongjeon Hall and the nearby Yeomnokgung, Hongyo stood still, gazing at Kyungrak. Her eyes, staring blankly at Kyungrak, were filled with confusion, as if she couldn’t believe the situation. Even after Kyungrak entered the Yeomnokgung, Hongyo remained standing there, unable to easily take a step. Seeing Hongyo standing stock-still in that spot, staring endlessly at the Yeomnokgung as if she had lost her way, his heart clenched and his breath caught in his throat.

But it had to be now or never. Gamyoung approached Hongyo, who was still standing there.

“Hongyo.”

Gamyoung managed to speak. It took only a few seconds for Hongyo to turn to him. But why was that short moment so terrifying? His heart pounded and his mouth went dry. When Hongyo finally turned to him, she said nothing. Her large eyes were simply filled with confusion. Gamyoung was about to place a hand on Hongyo’s shoulder but froze when her eyes instantly flashed with wariness.

“What is all this?”

“There are many listening ears. First, let’s go somewhere else and…”

“What are you!”

Her eyes, full of vigilance, were like those of prey facing a predator. Gamyoung was more flustered by that look than he had expected. He had never thought she would understand easily. But imagination and reality were starkly different. He had never imagined that the day would come when he would receive such a look from Hongyo.

His heart raced wildly as if he had run a hard sprint. Anxious, he took a step closer, but she moved back by that exact same distance. Gamyoung said.

“I’ll explain everything. Just not here…”

It was then. The eunuch from that morning approached Hongyo. He then bowed to Gamyoung and stated his business.

“Pardon the interruption, but His Majesty is looking for you.”

Gamyoung’s face immediately fell into a troubled expression. Of all the times, why now…. But it was a command from none other than the emperor. Gamyoung looked at the still-confused Hongyo and said.

“Can you wait for just a little while? I’ll come back later and explain everything.”

However, the answer came from a different person.

“Pardon me, but he was looking for Gamwi Yeo.”

At that message, both Gamyoung and Hongyo looked at each other at the same time. Their confused gazes collided in mid-air.

Hongyo felt like she was suffocating the entire way to meet Kyungrak. Her face, so pale it wouldn’t be strange if she fainted at any moment, was clearly terrified to anyone who saw. It was so bad that the eunuch guiding her from the front even asked if she was alright.

“Your complexion is pale. Shall I have them bring you a glass of water?”

But Hongyo couldn’t even drink a single glass of water right now. Feeling as if she would throw up anything that entered her stomach, she just shook her head with difficulty.

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

Her face looked anything but fine, but the eunuch couldn’t delay any longer and didn’t press further, merely quickening his pace. Hongyo followed him, trying to figure out what Kyungrak was thinking, giving her an official post and summoning her here, but her mind, which had gone blank with tension and shock, refused to work.

Even now, she was wondering if the person sitting on that throne was really Kyungrak. But no matter how she thought about it, that man was definitely Kyungrak. And the person he had personally introduced as the ‘Sixth Royal Brother’ was Gamyoung.

Hongyo was stumbling along, holding onto her consciousness with all her might. She had expected to head back to the Daeyeongjeon Hall, but the place the eunuch led her to was the rear garden behind it. Unlike the inner garden, which only the royal family could enter, the rear garden, also used as a banquet hall, was vast. But the eunuch headed not for the main gate leading to the rear garden, but for a small path next to it. After walking in silence for a while, the eunuch stopped in front of a certain pavilion.

“You may go through this door.”

And without giving her a chance to hold him, he bowed and retreated. Hongyo watched his receding back for a moment before turning her head to look around. The trees, having shed their leaves in the full force of winter, looked somewhat bleak. But what caught her eye the most was a door with its nameplate all worn off, as if it hadn’t been maintained for a long time.

It was a space that didn’t suit Kyungrak—no, the emperor—at all, and Hongyo hesitated, wondering if the eunuch had deceived her. She couldn’t think of any reason for him, whom she had just met yesterday, to deceive her, but for some reason, she felt a reluctance to enter. She was shuffling her feet when suddenly, the door swung wide open, and a burly man stared at her.

Flustered, Hongyo could neither do this nor that and just looked up at the man. From beyond him, a familiar voice was heard.

“To think there’s someone in this world who would make the emperor wait like this.”

It was unmistakably Kyungrak’s voice. What was it about that voice that the tension enveloping her body until just a moment ago instantly turned into longing? At this, the man who had been blocking her way stepped aside.

And Hongyo saw him. Kyungrak, smiling playfully just like in the old days. For a moment, the image of Kyungrak in his dojang uniform overlapped with the sight of Kyungrak in his dragon robe. At that fleeting illusion, Hongyo let out a short, involuntary gasp. But a voice from the side brought her back to reality.

“How impudent! Do you not show your respects at once!”

The man who had opened the door for her chided quietly. At the sound, Hongyo scrambled to her knees and bowed her head to the floor. The musty smell of old dust wafted up from the wooden floor. Having been suddenly called to the palace, she knew nothing of the etiquette toward the royal family. It was just natural to bow to high-ranking people without ever showing one’s face, so Hongyo had done just that.

Soon, footsteps approached. In her vision, which could only see the floor, the tip of the emperor’s foot barely came into view. A silk-lined leather shoe with a dragon-embroidered gaiter was all she could see. Presently, an august voice fell from above her head.

“Hongyo.”

It was definitely the same voice, but different from when he was issuing the royal decree; it was the voice of Kyungrak she knew well. A playful, nonchalant, yet quite affectionate voice called her name. Without realizing it, Hongyo’s fingertips, which were touching the floor, tensed up. Her trembling fingertips scratched the floor.

“Get up and show me your face. It’s been a while, I can’t send you off without even seeing your eyes, can I?”

Only then did Hongyo manage to lift her head. His mischievous smiling face, at this moment, was not the emperor, but the Senior Brother Kyungrak she knew. At the sight, Hongyo felt a surge of emotion, but at the same time, she hesitated to take the hand he offered her.

“Hurry. Are you going to leave my hand hanging?”

His urging voice held a complaint unbecoming of an emperor. The Cloud Sword guard who had been guarding the door looked a little surprised, his eyes widening. But for Hongyo, this was more familiar. The memory of a hand being extended to her every time she fell, no matter how hard she tried to hold on during her spars with Kyungrak, had become second nature to her at some point.

Hongyo finally took his hand and got to her feet. It had only been half a year, but Kyungrak looked somewhat different from the last time she saw him. It wasn’t a major physical change, as he was already an adult back then, but his features, somehow cooler and more solid, and his eyes, deeper and sharper, were truly those of a monarch. It seemed no one would be able to tell a lie in front of him. Feeling afraid to even meet his eyes, Hongyo was about to avert her gaze when he spoke.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, all pale like that.”

Kyungrak smiled mischievously.

“I figured we’d meet at some point, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.”

His affectionate smiling face wore a nostalgic expression, as if lost in old memories for a moment.

“I thought only Gamyoung had grown, but you’ve grown too, Hongyo. Kids really do grow up fast.”

But the reminiscence was brief. Kyungrak turned around, looked around the place, and said.

“Do you know where this is?”

Hongyo turned her head to follow Kyungrak’s gaze. There were no books, but the long rows of bookshelves suggested it was once used as an archive. But Kyungrak didn’t seem to be waiting for an answer as he continued.

“It’s the old archive of the Hyunjingwan. When I was young, I used to always come in here and hide when we played hide-and-seek. The seeker could never find me then. As you can see, who would think to hide in a place like this? It’s the same now.”

Kyungrak smiled faintly and looked at Hongyo again. His eyes, which had been lost in memories, had returned to those of an emperor, as if it had never happened.

“You have a face full of questions.”

“…….”

“That’s the reason I called you here. As you are now, you wouldn’t even listen to what Gamyoung has to say. But if there’s something to receive, there must be something to give.”

His eyes, which were beginning to take on a bluish tint, looked at Hongyo as if to bind her.

“When this story is over, I’d like you to do me one favor.”