Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 45

A strange tension flowed through the old library, which was dim yet well-lit by the sun. Originally, no one could refuse an emperor’s command. However, for him to say it as a ‘request’ like this meant it was either out of consideration for their past friendship, or it was an absolutely undeniable command disguised as a request.

Hongyo looked at Kyungrak before finally parting her lips. First, she needed to grasp the situation.

“What is the relationship between Gamyoung and Your Brother, no, Your Majesty?”

Although she already knew Gamyoung was the Sixth Royal Prince from his introduction of the Hwayeonggyeongjang, her question implied much more. There was no way Kyungrak wouldn’t know that. With a faint smile, as if he had expected it, Kyungrak said with a more relaxed expression.

“As you heard earlier, Gamyoung is my younger brother. We weren’t born from the same mother, but we share the same father, so we are brothers. Gamyoung introduced me to you as his cousin, didn’t he? Well, half wrong and half right. Anyway, Gamyoung was the Sixth Royal Prince until I ascended the throne.”

Upon receiving confirmation of the fact, Hongyo felt less surprised and more like she was plummeting to the ground. The fact that her one and only friend in the world had been deceiving her all this time hit her harder than the fact that the boy she thought was just a young master was a prince, and she felt anger welling up again. Kyungrak, who keenly noticed her emotion, said.

“Hongyo, you may not know since you are not royalty, but it is natural for the royal family to hide their identity outside the palace. It is dangerous, and it’s necessary if they wish to move about freely.”

“However….”

“Speak honestly. If you had known Gamyoung was royalty, would you, Hongyo, have been able to treat Gamyoung as you do now?”

At that question, Hongyo couldn’t bring herself to speak. Even if Gamyoung had been royalty, he would still have been a close friend, but she wouldn’t have been able to treat him as she did now. It would have been more like a relationship between a lord and a subject than a friend.

Her silence served as an answer, and Kyungrak smiled faintly as if he had known it.

“I was a bit surprised when he asked me to create a fake identity, but he’s always been a curious child, so I just thought he found something interesting outside. I realized it wasn’t just simple interest when he asked me to get you into the dojo. He said you were good at hunting and seemed to have a talent for martial arts. Even then, I let it be. You were the first friend Gamyoung made outside the palace, and you were the benefactor who saved his life, so I was prepared to grant him even more than that.”

Kyungrak’s face as he spoke nonchalantly was quite impassive.

“It’s not that I don’t have affection for my other brothers, but I practically raised Gamyoung, so there are times he feels like a real son to me. Perhaps that’s why when he insists on something, I end up playing along.”

For a moment, Hongyo felt a strange sense of déjà vu. But Kyungrak just continued to speak calmly.

“You know as well as I do that Gamyoung has a soft side, don’t you? I thought perhaps he wanted to make a childhood friend. But when he said he wanted to accompany you to the hunting ritual, I knew it wasn’t just for simple amusement.”

Kyungrak’s mouth twitched as if he still couldn’t believe it.

“Originally, the spot you participated in was for the son of the Hyeongju provincial governor to go with Gamyoung. I intended to provide them with the best prey at that spot. The plan was for them to achieve merit there so I could grant them a position. The governor’s son’s martial skills were formidable, but more than that, I wanted to give Gamyoung a position. That fellow was always threatening to leave the palace, so I thought giving him a position of responsibility might make him settle down.”

“……”

“But he said he would take you to that spot instead. A spot where even catching a small fox would be enough to grant a position.”

Hongyo wore a confused expression. When he had asked her to go to the hunting ritual with him, Gamyoung had never said anything like that. She had only decided to go with him because he said he could trust her, of all people. But why me….

“Why….”

The question escaped her lips without her realizing it. Kyungrak, with his hands clashed behind his back, said.

“Well now. It would be better to ask Gamyoung that. I merely did as Gamyoung asked.”

Hongyo stood there with a still-confused face at his words. With the answers she had received so far, the identities and situations of the two men were somewhat sorted out. But there were still many things she didn’t understand. Hongyo said.

“So it was all a lie from the beginning. You being an exchange student, and Your Majesty being his cousin.”

“Are you disappointed?”

How could she dare say such a thing before the Emperor? But understanding with her head and accepting with her heart were two different things. Instead of answering, Hongyo asked another question.

“But why do you try to keep Gamyoung by your side so much? Gamyoung always wanted to go out into the world.”

“……”

“If he is the Gamyoung I know.”

A lack of conviction was in her added words. Until now, she had believed that whether Gamyoung admitted it or not, she was the one who knew him best. The boy who rarely revealed his inner thoughts, let alone his circumstances, had shown his emotions and spoken of his dreams in front of her. Hongyo remembered Gamyoung’s eyes sparkling whenever he talked about the world outside. She was always included in that dream of his, of boarding a large ship, going out to sea, and seeing the real world. She might not be sure of other things, but that part of him was definitely sincere.

A brief silence fell. Kyungrak, seemingly choosing his words, let out a low sound before parting his lips.

“That child allows me to remain as Kyungrak, not the Emperor. Even if it means holding him back, I too must leave myself some room to breathe.”

Hongyo wanted to see Kyungrak’s face as he said this, but a shadow cast by the sunlight at that moment obscured his expression. Seeing that, Hongyo was about to ask her remaining question but closed her mouth. She felt, for some reason, that she had to.

After a moment of silence, it was Kyungrak who brought it to an end.

“Yeo Gamhwi.”

Her official title flowed out instead of her name. At the sound, Hongyo straightened her mind. This was not a relationship between a senior and junior from the dojo, but between an emperor and his subject.

“I wish for you to fulfill your duties without resigning. That is my request.”

Kyungrak, smiling faintly as if he had seen through a future even Hongyo herself hadn’t considered, said.

“When Gamyoung said he wanted to accompany you to the hunting ritual, I felt a sense of relief in a way.”

“……”

“Just as I am lenient with my brother, Gamyoung is lenient with you, so I thought I might be able to keep him tied down for a long time. The palace is a lonely and dangerous place, so one absolutely needs someone they can trust with their back. The greater the position, the more so.”

His expression was impassive.

“Therefore, I hope you do not resent Gamyoung too much for accepting the position of Hwayeonggyeongjang in your stead. That was the best protection Gamyoung could offer you.”

Even if Gamyoung hadn’t accepted the position, he had no intention of sending Hongyo to the northern border where the barbarians were, but there was no need to tell her that fact. He didn’t know how Hongyo would treat Gamyoung because of what he had told her today, but that was a problem for the two of them to solve.

“Of course, I know you will do so, Hongyo. If I had disapproved of you in the first place, I would not have allowed you to associate with Gamyoung, no matter how much he insisted.”

Kyungrak, having finished his request that was no different from a half-threat, smiled gently. It was the same affectionate smile Hongyo had liked, but a strange stubbornness arose in her, perhaps due to her last remaining pride.

“And what if I still choose to resign?”

At that, Kyungrak’s eyes widened in slight surprise as if he hadn’t expected that answer, and then he burst into loud laughter. It was such a refreshing laugh that even the Royal Guard standing by the door turned to look at him. She worried she might have offended the Emperor, but he was genuinely amused.

“I thought you were all grown up, but you’re still cheeky in moments like these. Truly befitting of Gamyoung’s friend.”

The corners of his eyes, creased into half-moons from his lingering laughter, were full of mischief.

“Have you not already received the royal edict?”

Kyungrak, enjoying the look of dismay that flashed across Hongyo’s face, raised the corners of his mouth.

“I have no intention of permitting your resignation yet. I shall consider it after you have achieved about a hundred merits.”

Unable to retort any further in front of the Emperor, Hongyo could only stare at Kyungrak. Kyungrak, too, gazed back at Hongyo. A trace of nostalgia he couldn’t hide was cast over his face, which still held a gentle smile from his long laughter.

“That hair ornament you were going to gift me. Sometimes I think I should have just accepted it.”

Kyungrak, as he said this, for the first time in this place, wore the face he had outside the palace.

“I said I had no use for it, but when else would I receive such a pure-hearted gift.”

It had only been half a year, but it felt like an strangely long time ago, as if decades had passed. It was then. The Royal Guard who had been standing by the door approached Kyungrak and informed him of his remaining schedule. After being briefed on his schedule, Kyungrak once again wore the face of the Emperor. At that distance, Hongyo was once again made aware of her and Kyungrak’s positions.

“I would like to talk more, but I still have official duties remaining.”

When Kyungrak turned back to Hongyo, the brief, human expression he had worn was gone.

“I am pleased to meet you again like this. Let us see each other often from now on. Yeo Gamhwi.”

Kyungrak, smiling mischievously, patted Hongyo’s shoulder as he passed her. It was a brief touch, but it had a strangely pointed feel to it.

“Make sure you learn the proper etiquette by the next time we meet. I wish to see you for as long as possible.”