Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 46

After the day that was worse than a storm, Hongyo didn’t come out of the house, cooped up for several days. It got to the point where even her grandmother, who had sternly warned Hongyo never to think of going to such a scary place again upon seeing her safely return from the palace, was now asking how long she planned to stay holed up in her room.

But Hongyo didn’t want to do anything right now. This was especially true after she once went out hunting, unable to refuse the constant nagging, only to have her mind so cluttered that she couldn’t even draw her bow properly and nearly slipped and hurt herself. She considered going to the dojo, but the thought that Kyungrak and Gamyoung’s influence had reached there made her feel very uncomfortable. Not only was it in her nature to despise being indebted to others, but she also didn’t know what Gamyoung was thinking when he told her to learn martial arts, so her mind was not at ease.

However, the very culprit making her heart so uneasy hadn’t shown so much as a shadow of himself since that day. She had to at least see his face to hear his side of the story, whether to get angry or to punch him once. Thinking about it again, Hongyo grew sulky and turned over on her side.

Even now, the memory of that day brought a rush of betrayal. The anger wasn’t boiling as uncontrollably as it had been then, but once the rage subsided, a sense of disappointment and betrayal washed over her. First and foremost, the feeling of betrayal from being deceived for so long was the greatest, and she was resentful that he had taken her to that hunting ritual, knowing she would receive an official post if she went, without saying a word about it.

Once, when Gamyoung had casually asked if she had any interest in a government position, she had made it clear that she had no such aspirations. The fact that he had completely ignored her wishes angered her. The ridiculous lie he had told about Najeon being his hometown for that purpose was an added source of anger.

Everything was a deception. The more she thought about it, the more confused she became about which parts of Gamyoung were sincere and which were lies, so she stopped thinking. Yet the guy who had left nothing but a storm in his wake had brazenly not shown a single hair for days. It was hard to believe that he had so hastily sought her out and held onto her right after receiving the royal edict.

He said he would explain everything, but was that a lie too? Yet, the look in his eyes as he held onto her had been so desperate that it made her want to believe all the lies he had told her until now. The face she saw in that moment, even upon reflection, had been filled with fear. It was strange how he had been terrified she might run away, yet couldn’t lay a hand on her, as if worried he might provoke more anger.

She was the one whose life had been struck by lightning out of the blue, yet Kyungrak’s words about it being the best form of protection for her infuriated her even more. If Gamyoung had truly been thinking of her, he shouldn’t have taken her to the hunting ritual in the first place. No, even if he had intended to, he should have been honest about it. But if he had, would I have been able to see Gamyoung the same way as before…

She tried not to think, but in the end, her thoughts were of Gamyoung again. Fuming, Hongyo shot up from her spot. Looking outside, it seemed like it would start snowing any moment now. She had to catch as many animals as possible before they went into hibernation.

Now that she had received a government post, she didn’t have to go hunting unconditionally to make a living, whether the weather was good or bad, but this work had become a force of habit. Although Kyungrak had said he wouldn’t permit her resignation, receiving a salary from an official post and hunting were two different things. In truth, apart from anything else, she no longer wanted her life to be swayed by someone else. So, even though she was now in a position to receive a salary, she had to hunt diligently.

The worry was her grandmother. It weighed on her mind how her grandmother had turned pale as a corpse when she was summoned to the imperial palace. It was as clear as day what would happen if she revealed that she had obtained a government post. No, even before her grandmother, her adoptive mother was a concern. She hated leaving the capital so terribly that Hongyo thought she might actually fight Kyungrak if she found out about the official post.

Mulling over this and that only made her head more complicated. Hongyo picked up the bow placed in the corner.

“Grandma. I’m going hunting.”

Though it had only been a few days, just holding the bow in her hands after a long time gave her a sense of stability. Her grandmother, who was making breakfast in the kitchen, said.

“Why don’t you at least have a bite to eat before you go.”

“I don’t have an appetite. I’ll be back soon, I’ll just catch a rabbit.”

Then, her grandmother came out of the kitchen and carefully placed a gwidori over her ears.

“Wear this. You’ll catch a cold.”

Hongyo quietly accepted the gesture, but flinched at the touch she felt on her chin. The fingertips were wrinkled. Hongyo felt a sudden surge of emotion and pouted.

Her grandmother, who was about to ask what she was displeased with this time, just sighed upon seeing her granddaughter, who had become much less talkative since returning from the palace. She didn’t know exactly what had happened since Hongyo wouldn’t say, but since Mohyun, who knew the palace affairs much better, must have been by her side, she had no choice but to trust.

“Don’t come back too late, and if you can’t catch anything, come right down. You know winter mountains are dangerous, right?”

“Is this my first or second time hunting? I know better than anyone.”

“Is that what someone who almost fell over because they couldn’t even see a tree says?”

“I got it. I’ll definitely be back before the sun sets. If it seems like there’s nothing to catch, I’ll come right down, so don’t worry.”

As her grandmother kept nagging her until she left, Hongyo quickly exited the house. But perhaps today was a day she should have listened to her grandmother. The problem was that she had gone too deep into the mountains, having climbed them simply because her thoughts were tangled, and today there was a surprising amount of game. The sky, which had been fine just a moment ago, instantly turned the color of dirt, and soon, a cold wetness touched her cheek. Hongyo, touching the moisture on her cheek, turned pale.

“This is crazy.”

It was the first snow of the year. But there was no time to indulge in sentimental thoughts.

Hongyo looked up at the snowflakes that had just begun to fall. This was bad. Even a light snowfall now could pile up at any moment. It wouldn’t matter in the village, but it was a different story here in the mountains. She had to get down quickly, somehow, before the snow accumulated. Fortunately, she could navigate this mountain with her eyes closed, so she just had to get down fast.

However, contrary to her thoughts, the snow was piling up much faster than expected. When she was climbing the mountain, it had been cloudy but not snowy weather, so she had let her guard down and gone in too deep. That was her mistake. Moreover, the sun would set soon. A winter mountain is dangerous, but especially so when it snows.

Hongyo retraced her steps. Even on a mountain she had climbed up and down countless times, she never knew when a beast might appear. The only thing to do was to step as carefully as possible and stay alert to her surroundings. Treading on the snow that was already starting to pile up white, she narrowed her eyes at the flurries swirling before her. Was this why there was so much game today?

Not just humans, but also animals that sleep wherever they please had to find a safe shelter on a day like this to survive. The trouble was that she had followed those animals too deep. She should have been wary when she saw something unusual, but it seemed her mind was so preoccupied that she had forgotten even that bit of mountain common sense.

Sensation began to dull on her cheeks, which were starting to freeze. A very bad sign. She walked faster. But the snow was piling up much faster than her walking speed. At this rate, she might lose her way and get stranded before she even got down the mountain. Stranded on a snowy mountain. That was no different from being face to face with death.

‘I think there was a hut around here.’

On the mountainside, there was a cabin built for situations like this. It was a small hut where mountain keepers and hunters would stay, built for those who unavoidably had to cross the mountain at night. She herself had been there once when it was pouring rain.

She was at a crossroads, deciding whether to go further down or to find that cabin. Suddenly, she heard a voice calling her name from somewhere.

“Yeo Hongyo!”

For a moment, goosebumps covered her entire body. A sound that shouldn’t be heard came through the whistling wind that clawed at her cheeks and the fierce snow flurries. At first, she thought it was the sound of the wind, but the voice, growing clearer, was calling for her desperately.

‘Am I being bewitched right now?’

She had heard stories about the Jangsanbeom, a creature that lures people by mimicking human voices, not only from her grandmother but also from the hunter uncles she used to climb the mountain with. They had warned her firmly: if you hear a voice calling you in the mountains, never follow it. They said it was an evil spirit that used the voice of a familiar person to target your life, so you must never be bewitched. While listening, she had thought, could there really be such a thing? but in a world where there were shamans who used spells and served dragons, she couldn’t declare with certainty that the Jangsanbeom didn’t exist.

Hongyo raised her hands and slapped both her cheeks with a smack. Hongyo, who had slapped her cheeks so hard they stung despite being numb, covered her ears with both hands. Even so, since she was wearing the gwidori, she couldn’t block them properly, and the sound seeped through. Hongyo tried her best to ignore the sound and kept walking.

‘That evil spirit is so wicked, it calls you in the voice of your closest friend. It’s trying to make you let your guard down and follow it.’

The words of the bearded uncle who had taught her to hunt as a child were right. The owner of the voice that echoed loudly once more was none other than Gamyoung. Hearing the voice of the person who had troubled her heart the most recently, her heart pounded violently.

Apart from wanting to pour out her resentment and anger, she was glad just to hear a mere imitation of his voice. But there was no way Gamyoung could be here. Knowing it was a trap set by an evil spirit, the fact that her gladness was greater than her anger proved it was no ordinary evil spirit. To think that she kept wanting to follow that voice when she should have been coming to her senses and quickening her pace.

Hongyo stared blankly in the direction the voice came from. Because even though she knew it was impossible, she hoped that voice was really Gamyoung.

Not some fake thing like a Jangsanbeom, not some Hwayeonggyeongjang who appeared in a form she didn’t know, but for this one time, she hoped it would be the Gamyoung she knew.