Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 68

Before the question ‘Why is Gamyoung here?’ could even form in her mind. Her elbow, gripped firmly in his strong hand, tensed strangely. Hongyo had no choice but to follow Gamyoung’s lead, forgetting even to breathe. The hand lightly holding her elbow slid down her forearm and soon covered the hand gripping the spear. How had he grown so much in the meantime, his large hand, with knuckles far thicker than hers, gently enveloped her own.

For a moment, Hongyo jolted as if struck by electricity. But unlike Hongyo, Gamyoung familiarly wrapped his remaining arm around her waist while seizing the spear. Before she could regain her senses, her body stiffened in the position of being embraced by Gamyoung.

It felt like this had happened once before. It was on a day when snow had fallen heavily in the mountains. When they had taken shelter in a cabin to avoid the snow, he had pressed close under some pretext about needing warmth, and now here he was, doing this under the excuse of teaching her how to hold the spear. She had already been thinking that Gamyoung’s atmosphere had been oddly off all morning, so it made her unnecessarily self-conscious.

“Hey. I can handle it myself….”

“That’s why I’m teaching you, because you can’t.”

With that, his left foot suddenly slipped between her legs. Then he nudged her stiffly frozen left foot. As a result, with strength entering her knees, Hongyo lowered her stance, and her center of gravity dropped accordingly.

“When finding your center forward, lower your stance like this. The spear is bigger and longer than a sword, so if you stand like that, all your openings will show.”

As if nothing had happened, Gamyoung stepped away from Hongyo. Then he picked up a wooden spear set up on one side of the training ground. With a leisurely prepared stance, Gamyoung said,

“Come at me first.”

The way he slung the spear over his shoulder and smiled was utterly infuriating. As Hongyo gritted her teeth and thrust the spear toward Gamyoung, he easily blocked the straightforward attack whose moves were all too visible. Then, in an instant, he hooked the tip of his spear into the middle of the one Hongyo held and yanked it away, causing the spear to slip from her grasp.

Fueled by rising determination, Hongyo quickly picked up the spear again and this time aimed low at his legs, but Gamyoung blocked that too with ease and used the recoil to push her spear in the opposite direction. Because of that, Hongyo nearly dropped it again but hastily twisted her direction, yet without even a moment’s reprieve, Gamyoung followed up by shoving from the other side, and she ended up dropping the spear once more.

Gamyoung dangled the tip of his spear in front of Hongyo as she bent down to pick it up again. As she lifted her head toward the spear tip pointed at the ground, as if she could no longer approach, Gamyoung said with his usual leisurely smile,

“With attacks that telegraph every move like that, you won’t land even a single hit?”

At those words, Hongyo seemed to think for a moment, then from her low crouching stance, she kicked out with only her left foot, sweeping Gamyoung’s spear to the side. Then, swiftly picking up her own spear again, she lowered her knees and steadied her center just as Gamyoung had taught her moments ago. At that, as if humoring her, Gamyoung, who held his spear in one hand, took two or three steps back.

Hongyo aimed for his shoulder and lunged inward in a flash, but Gamyoung dodged the penetration. This time, he blocked the spear coming down over his head. Spotting the opening at his abdomen from that, Hongyo tried to thrust straight in. Gamyoung, who had already raised his spear horizontally to guard his stomach, felt there was no need to drag it out any longer and spun his body once, using that gap to shove Hongyo’s side with his spear. Because of that, Hongyo lost her balance and staggered, nearly falling flat on the ground. She unwittingly closed her eyes in anticipation of the impending impact. But the body plummeting toward the ground was caught firmly before it hit, and Gamyoung pulled her into an embrace, holding her waist tightly with his free arm.

The distance had closed without a single gap. The flustered Hongyo tried to push Gamyoung’s shoulder away, but somehow, when had he become so strong, she couldn’t budge him an inch.

She had faced Gamyoung countless times until now. Just a few days ago, hadn’t they looked at each other while he draped his overcoat over her shoulders? But this was the first time their bodies had pressed together so seamlessly, so Hongyo couldn’t help but panic. No matter how close friends they were, this was too near.

“If it were me, I would have kicked at the center when it was exposed. When the distance is this close, it’s actually harder to attack. You need space between to see the opponent’s openings.”

But unlike Hongyo, whose agitation was plain to see, Gamyoung remained utterly calm. She had sparred with Gamyoung countless times at the training hall, but even when he had extended a hand to her after she fell, he had never pulled her into an embrace this close, close enough to see her own reflection in his pupils.

Hongyo’s heart startled as if it might leap out of her mouth. So much so that she feared he could feel the pounding. Yet Gamyoung, as if the tight embrace had been nothing, easily released his arm. As the firm support at her waist vanished in that brief moment, that spot felt strangely empty. But unlike her startled self, Gamyoung’s face showed no sign of anything amiss.

Well, considering how nonchalantly he had embraced her in the cabin, he seemed to have less reservations about such things than expected. Come to think of it, he had said he wouldn’t even touch a woman with a fingertip, so embracing another man like this must be nothing at all to him.

‘Then why does it bother me?’

For some reason, an unpleasant feeling welled up. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but in her rising pettiness, Hongyo unwittingly spat out curt words.

“You were pretending not to know me until just recently. Now it’s okay to pretend you do?”

At that, Gamyoung looked at her as if wondering what she meant, then recalled how he had ignored her all this time and said,

“You were upset about it.”

“…….”

“Whenever you said you were hurt seeing just my back as I left.”

Those words left Hongyo momentarily speechless. The biggest reason was how embarrassing it felt that she had said such things the last time she saw Gamyoung, but seeing him now, remembering it and approaching her without passing by, stirred some inexplicable feeling.

She didn’t know why, but her face seemed to heat up. Her heart, which had finally quieted, began to thump again, so she nearly placed a hand over it but barely stopped herself.

It’s strange. Even the last time she saw Gamyoung, she had felt his atmosphere was different from usual, but even now, as he treated her the same as always, it felt oddly different from other times. In her needless, strange embarrassment, unable to find where to direct her gaze, Hongyo suddenly spotted the sword at Gamyoung’s waist and widened her eyes.

“Huh? This?”

The ornament that hadn’t caught her eye until now, even dangling from the sword, now stood out plainly. Unlike her own which had a crimson hue, this one was blue, but otherwise identical in shape to the one Gamyoung had gifted her, it was impossible not to notice. Hongyo picked up the sword she had set aside while handling the spear.

“Isn’t this the same as mine?”

But Gamyoung didn’t answer the question, instead silently looking at the ornament on his own sword.

“You’ve been keeping it on all this time?”

“Well, it’s a gift from you, why wouldn’t I?”

“Usually, people don’t wear them during training. I thought you’d find it cumbersome.”

He said that, but inwardly he seemed pleased. She couldn’t understand why this guy, who had been so nonchalant about embracing her, got so shy about something like this.

People are truly unknowable, even when you think you know them.

Hongyo pouted her lips, then changed the subject.

“By the way, it’s the same design as yours. You must have bought the same one because picking was hard, right?”

At that, Gamyoung, who had been feigning otherwise until moments ago but couldn’t hide his embarrassed air, stared straight at her. His eyebrow twitched as if annoyed or not, then he opened his mouth only to close it again. Soon after, he let out words like a sigh.

“Yeah. What would a guy know about being that delicate.”

With that, he subtly gripped the ornament on the wooden sword softly. Hongyo quietly watched Gamyoung as he traced the engraving on the gem. His face, stroking the engraving with his thumb, was so earnest that Hongyo couldn’t bring herself to ask him about the meaning of the pattern.

“’Ga-u’ means beautiful and splendid, but if it’s not from a betrothed, would he give it with such a ticklish meaning?”

If she asked about it now, it would feel like confirming what Yeoryeong had told her. But even more incomprehensible was that, even if it didn’t mean that, she felt she would be disappointed rather than relieved for some reason. Caught in that contradictory feeling, unable to grasp it, Hongyo instead voiced a different question than what she really wanted to say.

“So, what’s yours?”

Hongyo swiftly snatched Gamyoung’s ornament. But the plain black obsidian had no pattern at all. Gamyoung laughed, seeing Hongyo’s deflated face.

He was amazed that she had noticed it was the same as hers. Of course, it wasn’t completely identical. The dragon pattern could only be engraved by the emperor. That meant any other pattern besides the dragon could be added, but when Gamyoung first bought it, he had left his own without anything engraved. Unless someday Hongyo engraved a meaningful pattern on it for him, this was enough for now.

More than that, when he had the ornament gifted to Hongyo made to match his own, his black-hearted intention had been exposed, and it embarrassed him. But strangely, that very embarrassment felt secretly pleasing on one hand. He had feared her discovering his feelings, yet perhaps he had hoped she would notice. Caught in that dual sentiment, Gamyoung gripped the ornament he had gifted her tightly once, just like back then, then released it. Then he asked Hongyo, who wore a somewhat peculiar expression,

“You’ll keep practicing spear arts, right?”

At that, Hongyo nodded slowly. Seeing that, Gamyoung smiled as if he had expected as much. Even if she pretended otherwise, she was always thirsting for learning and had a competitive spirit, so she wouldn’t give up easily.

“Watching you now, it seems you’d progress faster with someone teaching you than alone.”

At that, Hongyo’s eyes sparkled as she asked,

“You’ll do it?”

She was usually quick to subtly read the room, but in moments like this, Hongyo had an innocent side. Gamyoung suppressed the laugh threatening to escape him unwittingly and replied,

“Spread the rumor that we’re close friends.”

With that, as he straightened Hongyo’s disheveled clothes from the training, he said,

“It’s late. Let’s head in for today.”

With a few touches, her attire became neat. But Hongyo couldn’t tear her gaze from his eyes. She liked that gentle, affectionate gaze she hadn’t seen at all since coming to Hwayung-gyeong.