Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 96

Gamyoung considered himself straightforward compared to other men. Before Hongyo, he had never loved any woman, and he used to look down on those rascals who threw meaningless flirtations at women they did not even like. But coming to this point, he wondered how he was any different from them. His desire was just so distinct.

Just a little, just a tiny bit more, all he had to do was tilt his head from here. Hongyo, right in front of him, was trembling with her eyes squeezed shut. While that faint trembling made him feel sorry for her, at the same time, he wanted to make her take those two hands currently gripping his shoulders and wrap them around the back of his neck instead. Gamyoung drew even closer to Hongyo just like that.

Thud. Their foreheads, which had met without causing any pain, pulled apart. Startled by that, Hongyo opened her eyes, and Gamyoung, who had composed his expression before she knew it, spoke.

“Yeah. There was a time like this. You probably don’t even remember it, though.”

Hongyo stared at Gamyoung with a blank face. She had thought it felt familiar, but a time like this had really happened? However, no matter how much she racked her brain, she couldn’t recall it. Hongyo looked at Gamyoung, who for some reason seemed to look angry, and asked.

“When did that happen?”

“Since it’s exasperating, I intend to keep it to myself.”

What on earth is exasperating again. He really was full of nothing but mysteries. Even in the midst of this, along with the sense of relief that came from patching up the situation like this, an inexplicable sense of regret washed over her. Hongyo found it difficult to accept such emotions within herself. While it felt like a relief, on the other hand, this stifling feeling of almost knowing but not quite knowing was an emotion she was experiencing for the very first time.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

It was finally the day to return to Hwayeonggyeong. Hongyo had a hard time since morning trying to stop her grandmother, who was attempting to pack this and that in bundles for her. In the end, she patched it up this time too by using Mohyun as an excuse, and immediately set out for Hwayeonggyeong. Hongyo still felt uneasy whenever she thought of her grandmother, who had stood in front of the main gate until she was out of sight. It was even more so because she had listened to her grandmother’s laments about how her back was gradually bending, her eyes were dimming, and making clothes was no longer the same as before.

‘It’s only until I leave Hwayeonggyeong.’

Hongyo thought so as she took her heavy steps. After Gamyoung went back, Hongyo had spent the remainder of her vacation making up her mind that once she left Hwayeonggyeong, she would return to how things were before from that moment on, and that she would let go of her greed.

However, even that resolve shook the moment she stood before Hwayeonggyeong. Whether they were training or not, shouts of concentration could be heard even from far away. In the front yard, several Gamhwis, each holding a wooden sword or a spear for the next class, were walking busily. Amidst that, Hongyo realized that she had missed Hwayeonggyeong more than she thought. The training and classes that continued every day made her grow more, and hanging out with her peers to build friendships distinct from the one with Gamyoung was also nice.

It was then. Discovering Hongyo standing stock-still in the front yard, Choi Hyangbang’s eyes went wide, and he ran over to Hongyo. Then, the others beside him discovered Hongyo as well and ran over with delighted faces.

“Isn’t that Hongyo? When did you get here?”

Before she could even reply to Choi Hyangbang’s question, Yoo Deoksu cut in.

“Your face looks good. Seems you had a good rest!”

“Yeah. While taking a break, I rested very thoroughly. Looking at your faces, it seems you guys had a hard time.”

It was while they were sharing a conversation for quite a while after that. Whether they had just heard the news of Hongyo’s return, more and more people gathered. However, Yeoryeong’s figure was nowhere to be seen among them. Well, since he had been placed under confinement for two months, there was no way he would be here.

Instead, she saw Jeonghwan over yonder. Hongyo met the gaze of Jeonghwan, who was quietly watching her. A glad and longing heart was painted right on his face.

Hwayeonggyeong, now that she was back, was in full swing with preparations for the final exam, the Taegwahap. The Taegwahap was the final examination taken at Hwayeonggyeong, held once a year around autumn. Of course, the end-of-the-month exams and evaluations held from time to time were also important, but nothing could match the Taegwahap. It was especially because the institutions where they would be commissioned were determined by the ranks earned in this exam.

Like the former Vice Commander who was there before Hongyo, those with outstanding talent were occasionally commissioned before the Taegwahap when a desired position opened up. However, most were usually commissioned based on the exam results from the Taegwahap. Of course, if the institution they were to be commissioned to fell short of expectations, they could voluntarily remain at Hwayeonggyeong and take the Taegwahap again a year later. It was customary for these people to become seniors and lead the juniors who entered next.

At any rate, because it was such an important exam, everyone was engrossed in preparing for it. Seeing that even Choi Hyangbang, who lived every single day indulged in betting and gambling, was gradually showing his face at the training grounds these days, everyone was preparing for the exam with one heart and mind.

Hongyo was no exception either. However, unlike the other Gamhwis who were trying to get a high rank to enter the Central Army or a good institution, Hongyo just thought of this as the last time and was simply doing her best. Of course, the others, who had no way of knowing that sentiment, would often say things to Hongyo, asking why she was working so hard when she had already placed first in the Sigyeonghap and even held the position of Vice Commander anyway.

“I mean the Vice Commander. Even if he doesn’t do that, he’ll be able to go to the Central Army anyway, so why is he working so hard?”

Today as well, a man who was watching Hongyo practicing diligently at the training grounds asked the person next to him. Then, the other person jabbed the man’s side as if he lacked tact.

“The one leading the Central Army is Lord Pangam, so would you want to go if it were you?”

“Even so, public and private matters should be strictly separated. The Central Army is exactly the place every military official wants to go to.”

No one knew the details of what had happened between Hongyo and Jang Daeho, but since Jang Daeho had committed an act of insubordination, things couldn’t possibly be good between them. At any rate, even though Hongyo was the victim, it seemed thoroughly uncomfortable to be commissioned into the Central Army for the sole reason that the man who happened to be Jang Daeho’s father was the Pangam. To be sure, even if she did enter the Central Army, it was highly unlikely he would look favorably upon the one who made his son that way. They looked at Hongyo with slightly pitying eyes, then picked up their wooden swords again. Actually, they themselves were the ones to worry about.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

Hongyo wielded her spear into the empty air. By now, she had become able to handle the spear almost like a part of her body, but there were still many shortcomings.

The Taegwahap first looked at individual skills such as swordsmanship and spear technique, and then, based on those skills, scores were given to narrow down about twelve people to advance to a match, just like in the Sigyeonghap. In fact, those twelve or so could go to high-ranking institutions, and even those who failed to advance to the match could supplement their scores through written exams like military tactics and exam grades taken at every month’s end to raise their ranks.

However, Hongyo had no particular lingering attachment to ranks. Since she might truly face capital punishment if she harbored further ambitions in a woman’s body anyway, she was merely trying her best to be satisfied with the fact that she could learn martial arts right now. Therefore, she had to do everything she could do now. Because it didn’t seem like a day would come again in her future life where she could learn such things.

“Now it looks somewhat decent.”

It was just when Hongyo, who had been resting for a moment, finished washing her face with cold water. The voice heard from behind her back was quite familiar.

“It seems your training is completely finished, Commander, Your Honor.”

The reason why the only person who did not take the Taegwahap visited the training ground was to help the other Gamhwis who were preparing for the exam. The Commander position itself corresponded to a government post just like the Chief of Hwayeonggyeong, so he was commissioned from the moment he entered Hwayeonggyeong. It meant that unless he resigned from that post, he could continue to work at Hwayeonggyeong. Thus, his situation was different from the other Gamhwis who were commissioned to various other institutions through exams. Of course, Gamhwi was also a type of government post, but since they were not officially commissioned, they needed an institution to belong to upon leaving Hwayeonggyeong. Similarly, she, as the Vice Commander, was also in a position like a student council president if compared to Confucian scholars, so she had to take the exam.

“Yeah. My mind will be at ease only after sending those kids off somewhere at least.”

When she turned her gaze to where Jeonghwan was looking, she saw Choi Hyangbang wielding a spear very clumsily. Beside him, Yoo Deoksu, who possessed a matching level of skill, was groaning as he lifted and lowered his spear. At the sight which looked worrisome to anyone, Hongyo’s face also darkened along with it.

“…They will be able to go somewhere, right?”

“Well, since Choi Hyangbang’s brain is usable, it seems he can just memorize military tactics inside out somehow, and as for Yoo Deoksu….”

Jeonghwan, who knit his brows for a moment, continued to speak.

“It’s not like a big disaster happens just because he stays at Hwayeonggyeong for one more year.”

Jeonghwan, wearing a worried expression, looked back at Hongyo.

“It’s a good thing you went on vacation. Your face has brightened up.”

“Perhaps it’s because there was no one there to order me around as much as they pleased.”

“Haha. Whoever it is, they must be a dreadful person.”

Jeonghwan laughed lightly even though he knew that person was him. It was certainly a good thing she had gone home. While it had been worrisome just to look at her when she was completely out of her mind for a while, seeing her wield her spear like this again made the one month of missing her worthwhile. Even just now, Jeonghwan had to hold back his desire to brush her water-drenched hair up over her forehead. Instead, he offered the handkerchief he always carried around. Seeing that, Hongyo looked up at Jeonghwan with slightly surprised eyes.

“You have a more delicate side than I thought, Your Honor.”

“My younger brother packed it for me.”

At those words, Hongyo shut her mouth. No wonder the handkerchief made of silk was embroidered with red plum blossoms, which didn’t quite suit him.

“Thank you. I will launder it well, dry it, and give it to you.”

Hongyo took the handkerchief from his hand. A memory of having once borrowed a handkerchief from Yeoryeong flashed through her mind. Hongyo wiped the moisture from her face, pretending as if it were nothing. Jeonghwan could not take his eyes off that sight.

Under the summer sunlight, Yeo Hongyo’s face, damp with moisture, was truly clear.