Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 32

“Cha Haeshin! Hey!!”

Even knowing the line was dead, Taejun kept calling his name. His heart pounded as if it would burst. His palms were already drenched in cold sweat.

He had been relieved to hear that Jin Youngmin hadn’t shown up for a while. He thought pressuring his parents had worked. Knowing full well that his life in this hell couldn’t possibly continue so smoothly, why had he been so complacent?

Shoving the disconnected phone into his pocket, Taejun grabbed his car keys and bolted outside. How long would it take if he drove? Would Haeshin be safe until then? What if Jin Youngmin had lost his mind before the wedding and killed Cha Haeshin? All sorts of horrifying thoughts surfaced, suffocating Taejun.

The image of Cha Haeshin bleeding out and dying in his own home, which should have been the most comfortable and safest place, being mercilessly trampled to death by Jin Youngmin’s hands, flickered before his eyes once again.

“Please, please…”

Taejun kept muttering as he got into the car and started the engine. It had been a long time since he had prayed for something so desperately. When he had given up on hope, he had also given up on earnestly wishing for anything.

“Please…”

But now was different. He was desperate enough to clutch at straws. He prayed that any god would hear and acknowledge his plea. Not for himself, but for Cha Haeshin.

☂️

“Mr… Mr. Jin, how did you… no, why are you suddenly, why are you doing this?”

The question in his voice trembled with anxiety. Haeshin’s eyes were fixed on his shattered phone. It was the result of Jin Youngmin abruptly snatching it and throwing it against the wall.

Although Haeshin was accustomed to Jin Youngmin’s violence, suddenly encountering him in such an unexpected situation completely rattled his mind. As Haeshin instinctively took a step back, Youngmin slowly approached him.

“Because I… was worried about Mr. Cha Haeshin, so I came all this way.”

Youngmin’s voice, still using formal language, had an even more chilling quality because of it. The sight of Youngmin approaching menacingly gave Haeshin a sense of déjà vu. He was already revealing the true colors he had only shown long after their marriage.

“Ah… you were worried about me… thank you so much…”

Haeshin answered meekly, trying his best not to get on Youngmin’s bad side. Jin Youngmin’s current state was clearly dangerous. One wrong move could lead to irreversible consequences.

Dying at Jin Youngmin’s hands was no longer something he feared, but it was a different story in this lifetime. It was too much of a waste to die and end it like this. There was no guarantee that the same opportunity would arise in the next lifetime, so he had to survive this moment no matter what.

Haeshin slowly turned his body, backing away toward the wall to avoid the advancing Youngmin. Jin Youngmin’s eyes glinted as he continued.

“Yes. I’m this worried about Mr. Cha Haeshin, so of course, you should be grateful. So why aren’t you answering my calls?”

“Ah, that’s…”

“And you suddenly stopped coming to the bar… I was really worried something terrible had happened to Mr. Haeshin.”

“I’m sorry. I had some personal matters…”

“But I see Mr. Cha Haeshin has been meeting with Han Taejun in the meantime?”

Han Taejun.

The moment that name left Youngmin’s lips, the atmosphere between the two grew even sharper. Haeshin gulped without realizing it. He could feel his lips becoming parched.

Should I deny it? No. If Jin Youngmin has already been watching me, lying isn’t a good choice. Then should I be as honest as possible? How honest can I be? Haeshin’s mind became a mess of confusion.

“Cha Haeshin.”

The moment Youngmin called his name coldly, Haeshin’s back hit the wall. This meant he had avoided the tragedy of being pushed down the stairs to his death, but it also meant he could no longer escape.

“Are you, by any chance, weighing me against Han Taejun?”

Youngmin’s tone of speech changed. In that instant, Haeshin’s vision blurred. It was hard to distinguish whether he was in a shantytown or in the prison where he had been held captive by Jin Youngmin.

“Did Han Taejun show interest in you? So you think he’s a better choice than me? Is that it?”

As Youngmin continued to speak, Haeshin’s breathing grew ragged. Jin Youngmin’s gaze, his tone, everything that had broken Haeshin for so long, was right here. It was a familiar misfortune.

“Even so, I don’t understand. Do you really think someone like Han Taejun would ever look at someone like you properly? Haeshin, there’s no way.”

“That’s… that’s not it…”

Haeshin struggled to pull himself together. The wound that had never healed at any moment was now torn open more horrifically, bleeding profusely. Fear, helplessness, and fatigue tightened their grip on Haeshin’s throat.

“Even if he is interested in you, it’s nothing more than a one-night curiosity. In the end, you’ll just be miserably thrown away.”

“…”

“When you have me, who is sincere to Mr. Cha Haeshin… why are you trying to fall for such cheap sweet talk?”

Youngmin’s tone changed again. It meant he hadn’t completely lost his reason yet. But the shackles that had bound Haeshin’s soul for so long would not release him easily.

“It’s really not like that. It’s not, Mr. Jin.”

Youngmin placed a hand on the wall next to Haeshin, who was muttering like a madman, and lowered his head to meet his eyes up close. A low, cool voice, wearing a gentle mask, seeped into Haeshin’s ear.

“Don’t have futile dreams. Even if Mr. Haeshin doesn’t choose me, I… will never give up.”

“Ah… ahh…”

“You won’t be able to run away either. I’m a man who does what he says he’ll do. In the end, Mr. Cha Haeshin will have to accept me. Because you’ll realize there’s no one as sincere as I am.”

The moment he heard those words, an old curse ensnared Haeshin’s soul. It would fail this way. Whether Han Taejun tried to stop him or Han Taejun’s grandfather applied pressure, Jin Youngmin was a man who would never give up on Cha Haeshin on his own.

Haeshin’s breathing grew even more labored. He couldn’t even breathe properly. Haeshin’s inescapable prison was right here. Jin Youngmin was his eternal prison.

“So…”

Jin Youngmin’s large hand cupped Haeshin’s face. It was the same hand that would one day strike Haeshin’s cheek and one day choke his neck.

“So don’t make a choice you’ll regret.”

And then, as if he had said all he wanted to say, Jin Youngmin turned his back on Haeshin with a refreshed expression. Haeshin, who had been staring blankly at his back, naturally let his gaze drift to the stairs he would be descending.

What if I push him from here? A not-unfamiliar impulse stirred in Haeshin’s mind.

In one life where nothing but hatred and vengeance remained, he had tried to kill Jin Youngmin. He had actually succeeded once. He had hoped that if he killed him, thinking this hell had started with Jin Youngmin, the pain would somehow end.

But that too was useless. Jin Youngmin never died alone, and most attempts ended in failure. In those cases, it was Haeshin who met an even more miserable death.

It was the same when he succeeded. It wasn’t even a complete success. Youngmin didn’t die alone and tenaciously dragged Haeshin into the swamp of death with him. And Haeshin would have to wake up at the most horrifying time, just like when he had committed suicide.

After that half-baked success, Haeshin never tried that method again. Part of it was an instinctive feeling that it was a method that couldn’t succeed, but it was also because with every moment he tried to kill Jin Youngmin, Haeshin felt his own soul dying along with him.

For Haeshin, enduring his own soul becoming no different from a demon was harder than the physical pain. It was unfair. Jin Youngmin killed him dozens of times without a shred of guilt, yet he was the only one who felt these emotions. He thought it was unjust.

But even while thinking that, Haeshin ultimately never resorted to killing Jin Youngmin again.

While he was lost in his brief thoughts, Jin Youngmin had gone down the stairs and was no longer visible. Staring at the stairs where Jin Youngmin had disappeared with a dazed expression, Haeshin leaned his back against the wall and sank to the ground.

A chill washed over him. The night breeze that had felt pleasant just a moment ago suddenly felt like sharp blades carving up his entire body.

“Damn it… damn it…”

Haeshin pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and buried his face in the space between as he muttered.

With what confidence had he been so optimistic about life? As if Han Taejun were an absolute being, a savior who would end his misfortune. As if he could finally become happy this time.

An immense sense of despair and self-loathing, the likes of which he had rarely felt in this lifetime, consumed Haeshin.

Thump. Thump.

Haeshin, with his eyes closed, lifted his head and began to bang the back of it against the wall. He couldn’t feel the pain. This kind of thing couldn’t cause him any pain.

Was it because he had harbored a futile hope? Would it have been better if he hadn’t hoped at all? Even though his situation was still better than any previous lifetime, a wave of helplessness washed over him. He just wanted to give up on everything. He didn’t want to make any effort.

He began to think that if it was going to be like this, it might be better to just keep repeating the choice of ending his own life. At least then, he could end his life by his own will.

A single tear rolled down Haeshin’s cheek as he continued to hit his head against the wall. The heart he had pieced together, already shattered, collapsed in an instant. How much time had passed like that? A familiar voice fell upon his ruined heart.