Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 33

“Cha Haeshin, you…!”

Taejun didn’t even have the presence of mind to say more as he rushed forward, cupping the back of Cha Haeshin’s head with his hand. With a thud, the back of Taejun’s hand slammed against the wall.

“Why are you doing this…”

His low, heavy voice seeped into the night of the moon village.

He couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten here. He’d parked his car haphazardly at the entrance and run with all his might to the top of the stairs, his mind filled with nothing but horrific images of Haeshin.

What if I’m too late? What if Jin Youngmin has already hurt Cha Haeshin? He was terrified that he would once again be forced to watch helplessly as Cha Haeshin bled out and died.

That’s why, when he found Haeshin collapsed on the ground, he was also relieved. At least he didn’t seem to be seriously injured.

But when he realized Haeshin was banging his head against the wall like a madman, it felt as though his world was collapsing. It was a sensation he had never once felt in his life.

Even as Taejun approached step by step, Cha Haeshin didn’t seem to notice his presence. Haeshin’s tears glittered in the dim streetlight. It was hard to breathe, as if someone were strangling him.

“Cha Haeshin…”

Taejun called his name again. He didn’t know why a name he had barely spoken in his life felt so achingly dear. It was as if it was a name he had longed for for a very long time. It was a strange feeling.

Haeshin finally opened his closed eyes. Amidst the biting air, two souls, repeatedly broken and shattered, at last took in the sight of one another.

“Why are you out here like this?”

It was Taejun who spoke first. The hand that had been cupping the back of Haeshin’s head was now hovering around his cheek. After blinking a few times, Haeshin opened his mouth, his voice devoid of any life.

“Jin Youngmin…”

“…”

“I think Jin Youngmin might kill me.”

Taejun bit his lip. Being murdered by someone else’s hand was not an ordinary occurrence for anyone, yet he felt a sorrow for his own life, in which those words did not come as a surprise.

“It’s just… I just have this feeling. I’m going to die at Jin Youngmin’s hands. This time, too.”

In that moment, an unfamiliar word brushed past Taejun’s ear. This time, too. The last phrase Haeshin had added in a near whisper completely changed the meaning of the entire sentence. But Haeshin’s voice was so soft at that moment that he couldn’t be certain. Nor did he feel the urge to ask him to repeat it.

What was important right now was Cha Haeshin. His heart, which looked as if it could shatter at any moment. Figuring out why he had fallen apart like this after just one visit from Jin Youngmin, or why he had said such a thing, could wait.

Taejun just wanted to save Cha Haeshin. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to be the one person who would stay by the side of Cha Haeshin, who must have always been alone. Finally, Taejun spoke.

“Cha Haeshin.”

Taejun’s voice, uttering just those three syllables, trembled violently. Had he ever trembled like this in front of anyone in his entire life? At least, not in his memory. This person, weaker and more destitute than anyone Taejun had ever met, was making Han Taejun tremble like this.

Taejun’s hands now gripped Haeshin’s shoulders. Through his palms, he could feel that Cha Haeshin was trembling, too.

“Ask me.”

So Taejun said it. Thinking that since two such wretched lives had met in this repeating cycle of misfortune, they should at least be able to rely on each other.

“Tell me to protect you.”

“Ah…”

“Tell me to protect you, to help you, so that someone like Jin Youngmin wouldn’t dare touch you… Ask me. You’re good at that sort of thing.”

Though Cha Haeshin was the one who needed to ask, Taejun’s voice sounded even more desperate than his. He didn’t want to be held back by the question of why he was helping him so much. He wanted to help Haeshin with all his might, without bothering with excuses.

Because you asked me for help. Because you looked so desperate. Because you clung to me like a dying man. That’s why I’m helping you.

Taejun wanted to wear those words like armor and hover by Cha Haeshin’s side. The grip of his hands on Haeshin’s shoulders tightened.

At last, Taejun’s image was properly reflected in Haeshin’s eyes, which had been clouded with frustration and helplessness. Just like that day he had suddenly jumped into Haeshin’s life when he was at a loss for what to try next, Han Taejun had cut through the swamp Haeshin was sinking into and grabbed hold of him.

With a look on his face as if he were under a spell, Haeshin spoke.

“I have nothing. All I have is myself.”

In his countless regressions, Haeshin had pleaded for help from powerful people many times. It had all been useless struggling. Most of them didn’t even listen to his pleas, and some wanted something in return.

Even with the wealth and honor Haeshin could never dream of, they wanted to be compensated for helping the destitute Haeshin. This, despite knowing that Haeshin had nothing of value they could covet.

In the end, Haeshin had to offer himself as payment in some way, and it was only after dying several more times that he realized this could not be the answer.

Of course, there had been those who stepped up for Haeshin without asking for anything in return. They were all people who had nothing, just like Haeshin, and tragically, their help was of no use in ending his misfortune.

“I know. That you have nothing. That’s why I’m telling you to ask. Even more desperately.”

But here, Han Taejun was different. Han Taejun, who possessed more wealth and power than anyone, was telling him to ask, that he wouldn’t want any compensation.

“I… might not even be able to repay your kindness.”

If this regression also ended in death, Taejun wouldn’t even remember the fact that he had so kindly helped Haeshin. It meant he might not even hear a word of thanks.

“If I wanted something like that, I wouldn’t be saying this to you.”

And yet, Han Taejun continued to speak. I will help you. I want to help you. His heart swayed. The dying embers of hope began to burn once more.

Even if it ended up being a meaningless struggle, even if not even Han Taejun could save him, he still wanted to do his best. He didn’t want to let the heart of this man, who had willingly become a chance for him, go to waste.

“Then… Then, CEO…”

Haeshin’s hands, which had been clutching his knees, grabbed the hem of Taejun’s coat. It was a grip so strong that the veins on the back of his hands bulged.

“Then please help me.”

Next, he fell to his knees. Sharp pieces of stone dug into his kneecaps, but it didn’t matter.

“Please protect me. Help me so that Jin Youngmin can’t destroy me.”

The last time Taejun offered to help, Haeshin had asked why. But now, reasons were no longer necessary.

He would stop weighing whether Han Taejun was truly different from Jin Youngmin. Just as Taejun wasn’t setting any conditions for him, Haeshin decided to stop attaching conditions to Taejun and bet his fate on him.

“Please…”

Haeshin’s voice was trembling endlessly, but feelings of powerlessness or despair could no longer be felt.

And so, Han Taejun, having fully faced Haeshin’s desperation, finally opened his mouth.

“Alright.”

It was an utterly concise answer, but it didn’t matter. Because that was everything Haeshin needed right now.

☂️

“Fuck… Fuck…!”

Youngmin, who had pulled his car over to the side of the road, slammed his palms against the steering wheel over and over, shouting. He couldn’t contain the emotions boiling inside him. This was all because of Cha Haeshin.

Was it a mistake to drink while thinking of Cha Haeshin? Drunk, Youngmin had dozed off and seen Han Taejun and Cha Haeshin in his dream. They were holding hands, looking at each other with such happy faces. In front of them, it was as if Jin Youngmin didn’t exist.

Youngmin cried out from the gut-twisting pain. He was the one who had fallen for Cha Haeshin first, he was the one who was more sincere, and he was the one who was more desperate, so he couldn’t understand why Han Taejun was the one standing by his side.

Waking from the dream, Youngmin trembled with rage. He couldn’t control his emotions even though he knew it was a dream. It was because he thought it might one day become reality.

Youngmin knew that he and Han Taejun were different from birth. That he was an opponent he wouldn’t dare challenge, that they weren’t even in the same weight class for a fight to begin with.

That’s why Youngmin had tried to give up on Cha Haeshin. When he found out that Han Taejun was meeting Cha Haeshin separately, he had clearly made up his mind to sort things out before he got on his bad side.

But he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t give up as he intended. With each passing day, his anxiety grew. And today, the desire he had barely suppressed had finally exploded.

Upon waking, Youngmin went straight to find Cha Haeshin. He didn’t want to give up. He just didn’t want to. For the first time in a life lived meekly while knowing his place, he had found someone he wanted to be greedy for, and he didn’t want to give up without even putting up a proper fight.

He had no idea how nervous he had been while waiting for Haeshin on that cold winter night. He had wanted to carefully confess the feelings he’d had for Haeshin and melt his heart. He had planned to say that the debt, the difference in their family status, none of it mattered, that’s how sincere he was, and that he was confident he could make him happy.

That is, until he saw Cha Haeshin talking on the phone with Han Taejun, looking happy.

He couldn’t hear what Taejun was saying, but he could tell just from Haeshin’s voice that the two had already become comfortable with each other. The wall that Haeshin always put up so sensitively around him was absent in that call.

Youngmin had never once seen Haeshin smile so comfortably. And this, despite having seen Haeshin earlier, and more often, than Han Taejun.