Mother Tape Chapter 3.1

Hwang Gujo slept only one night and immediately booked another accommodation nearby. The reason was that if he slept in this house, he would have strangely severe nightmares that he didn’t usually have, and he felt like he hadn’t slept at all. Due to the local characteristic where the town name changes just across the bridge, he and Kwak Jaekwon ended up staying separately, close enough to jog together if their morning schedules aligned.

Wisoo called Jaekwon whenever he had a chance. Since Hwang Gujo visited this unpleasant house during the day to eat, he was able to see Wisoo playing these serious-but-not-so-serious pranks.

Seon Wisoo was understandable, but the unusual one was Kwak Jaekwon. He wasn’t the type to tolerate such trivial pranks. Had he become bored now that he was practically unemployed? Wisoo would follow him around, needlessly ringing his phone, and Jaekwon just let it happen.

“It’s a bit much to call someone when they’re right in front of you.”

Hwang Gujo spoke up to Wisoo, who was fluttering around Jaekwon as he did the dishes, making another call. Wisoo turned around.

“You don’t answer anyway.”

“It’s distracting.”

“It’s strange for Hwang Gujo to talk about distractions.”

“Excuse me?”

Hwang Gujo asked back, dumbfounded by Wisoo’s words.

“You’re worried about Kwak Jaekwon being distracted when you’re dragging all that riffraff around? Kwak Jaekwon is fine. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t have anything clinging to him, to the point his trapezius muscles are soft.”

“It’s not fine. It’s a little annoying.”

While Hwang Gujo was checking his shoulders, wondering if something was on them, Jaekwon denied Wisoo’s words.

“It’s annoying, so do as Hwang Gujo says.”

“…….”

“And my trapezius muscles aren’t that soft. I may look like a rich young master, and I am one, but I haven’t lived a life without hardship.”

Jaekwon leaned to the side and said, “Touch them.” Hwang Gujo thought Jaekwon’s actions were rather flirtatious.

“Are you two dating?”

At Hwang Gujo’s incredulous voice, the two turned around simultaneously. Both had expressions that said, “What are you talking about?”, but the nuances were quite different. Wisoo’s expression was asking, “Is this what dating is?”, while Jaekwon’s was telling him to stop talking nonsense.

In any case, Wisoo touched Jaekwon’s shoulder. His trapezius muscles were indeed as hard as rock. However, he realized it wasn’t because his shoulders were stiff, but simply because of his well-developed muscles. This was clearly a different issue than the clinging riffraff.

“Why does Hwang Gujo have all that stuff attached to him? Does he smell or something?”

As Wisoo, seemingly satisfying his curiosity, wouldn’t take his hand off Jaekwon’s shoulder, Jaekwon straightened up again. Wisoo, reluctant to let go of the remaining warmth, rubbed his hands together.

“There are people like that. We can’t smell it, but yeah. I guess he does smell. A smell only dead people can detect.”

“Ugh. Stop saying things like that. It’s not that I believe such stories, but I’m not a fan of horror either.”

“It’s not horror, it’s my life.”

Wisoo grumbled at Hwang Gujo, who treated his life, his daily routine, as a genre.

Jaekwon, as usual, let it go in one ear and out the other. Yet he thought that those two were the ones who seemed to get along well. Their mental ages seemed similar.

Having finished the dishes, he hung up the rubber gloves. The cleaning up was Wisoo’s responsibility. Wisoo had volunteered, and Jaekwon hadn’t stopped him.

“Aren’t you leaving?”

Jaekwon asked Hwang Gujo as he came out to the living room. Hwang Gujo made an exaggerated sound of exasperation and asked,

“Why are you trying to send me away? What are you going to do when I leave?”

“I’m trying to rest, to rest. You smelly bastard.”

Jaekwon shoved Hwang Gujo aside and sat down.

The house without air conditioning was humid and stuffy, a terrible environment for two large adult men to be close together. However, neither Hwang Gujo nor Kwak Jaekwon mentioned installing an air conditioner, because they both had a nagging feeling that if they did, they would really end up living here.

Wisoo, as if he’d overheard Jaekwon’s words, called him. When Hwang Gujo stared pointedly, Wisoo played it cool, saying, “I’m somewhere else.”

Kwak Jaekwon rummaged through his pockets and answered the phone.

“I’m blocking your number. Stop calling.”

There was laughter in Jaekwon’s voice. Hwang Gujo really wondered what the two of them were up to.

Anyway, what was certain was that Seon Wisoo enjoyed making calls and seemed energized by the fact that someone answered them.

“I think my uncles will come visit. They’re looking for me almost as often as Seon Wisoo calls the CEO. It’s driving me crazy.”

“Block their numbers too.”

“I’m a man who knows Confucianism, so I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”

“Bullshit. You’re a banana.”

Jaekwon brought the mouth of the beer bottle to his lips and smiled faintly. Wisoo squeezed himself onto the long sofa where the two were sitting. Next to Jaekwon, of course.

“Oh, this is suffocating.”

In the end, Hwang Gujo gave up. He went and sat on the single-person sofa. Jaekwon, knowing that Seon Wisoo would do as he pleased anyway, let him be. Instead, he just shifted over slightly to make room. However, as if to render that gesture meaningless, Wisoo sat close again. The strange thing was, unlike the sudden heat when sitting with Hwang Gujo, there was no such feeling with Seon Wisoo. This was despite Seon Wisoo’s body temperature not being particularly cold.

“Be careful. Those people are still Chairman Kwak’s, no, Teacher’s brothers.”

“Teacher…?”

Wisoo’s eyes wavered. Jaekwon glanced sideways at him and explained.

“That’s what people called him after he stepped down to become Honorary Chairman. No, even when he was Chairman, they called him Teacher. Because he was someone who gave out money instead of teachings.”

“…….”

“He was cash-rich. In other words, a moneybags, a sugar daddy. As far as I know, he was never called a sucker.”

Sugar daddy. That title sounded very familiar. Wisoo’s eyes sank somewhat.

‘That’s our sugar daddy. You have to hold on tight. Wisoo, what do you see?’

The voice of his teacher, pointing at the back of a middle-aged man with a straight back and shoulders, came to mind.

‘You have to see something so that the money we give to your parents, and the money we live on, comes in. He’ll also introduce you to the people who are looking for you.’

There was no benefit to him whatsoever. However, the teacher’s pinching hand, pushing his back and constantly asking what he saw, hurt so much that Wisoo had to look at the man….

Wisoo shook his head violently, trying to erase the memory. And to distract himself, he fiddled with his cell phone, which only knew how to make calls and take pictures.

“They won’t be able to stand watching the son who abandoned the country and severed ties with his father take everything.”

“Yes. It seems the CEO isn’t leaving as they thought, and there’s no news of Seon Wisoo being kicked out.”

“I guess so.”

Jaekwon massaged his temples. He had to tell lawyer Na Hakyeong that he would be the guardian, but he kept putting it off because it was bothersome. Perhaps he was still unsure. Why should I be this man’s guardian?

Instead of questioning himself, Jaekwon looked at Wisoo again. Wisoo, recently having taken a liking to photography, was spending his time taking pictures here and there and checking them. Jaekwon didn’t understand his criteria. At this moment, Wisoo was taking a picture of Jaekwon’s toes resting on the small sofa table.

“What? Are you trying to give me a hint to put my feet down?”

Jaekwon asked, laughing slowly. Wisoo shook his head with a simple laugh. Such a guileless laugh. He meant to click his tongue, but his lips moved differently than intended.

“Hwang Gujo, go buy some workbooks. And school supplies too.”

“Why? Is the CEO going back to college?”

“Why would I do that…. Get everything for the GED. Middle and high school levels, everything.”

Hwang Gujo’s eyes landed on Wisoo and then moved away.

“Should I expense it?”

“Go ahead, go ahead. You little bloodsucker.”

“That flea is at least the size of this country, so I’m going to explode eating it.”

Hwang Gujo chuckled. Then, looking at the setting sun, he got up from his seat. Fanning his collar because of the heat, he almost unconsciously said, “Please install an air conditioner.” He shouldn’t do that. If Jaekwon gave in and installed an air conditioner, something would definitely go wrong. This house should be left as it is, unchanged.

However, as Hwang Gujo unconsciously witnessed Kwak Jaekwon pulling and releasing the ends of Wisoo’s hair and Wisoo taking a picture of Jaekwon’s exposed ankle, he had an ominous, yet tempting, premonition that perhaps change had already begun.

Shaking his head as if to dispel the thought, he went to the front door.

“I’m leaving.”

The reason he gave was that the road was difficult after sunset, but the truth was that he hated this house, which felt particularly humid after dark.

Without looking back, Jaekwon waved goodbye from the sofa.

“I’m going to Seoul to buy workbooks. Do you need anything?”

“Hmm.”

Jaekwon paused for a moment and then pulled on Seon Wisoo’s hamstring. Looking at Wisoo’s narrow, white feet next to his own, he roughly stated a size.

“Buy shoes in that size if they have them. It’s not urgent, but sneakers will do for now.”

“Yes, yes.”

Do you know that the CEO is treating Seon Wisoo like a lover right now? Hwang Gujo was about to ask, but then he remembered that Jaekwon had shown this same guilty affection to the people he had been physically involved with in the past. Without any real feelings. So, this must be one of those instances. Hwang Gujo left the house as if shaking off the distracting thoughts.

By the time he pulled out of the garage, it was already dark enough for the car’s headlights to turn on automatically. The further away he got from the house, the clearer Hwang Gujo’s head became. The uncomfortable feeling of being an unwitting voyeur also disappeared. A hum unconsciously escaped his lips.

❖ ❖ ❖

Hwang Gujo’s return was delayed by a few days because Jaekwon, while in Seoul, asked him to look into Na Hakyeong and the strange company behind Seon Wisoo.

During that time, Jaekwon did what he had to do, but mostly lazed around.

Wisoo read books under the sofa where Jaekwon sprawled like a napping lion. He would occasionally wake up and snatch the book to see what Wisoo was reading. The subjects were quite diverse. He’d suddenly be reading classical Korean literature, then boring investment books, and then introductory science books.

“What’s your favorite subject?”

Jaekwon asked, turning on his side.

“I don’t have one. They’re all interesting.”

“Then what’s your least favorite?”

“Hmm….”

After a moment of thought, Wisoo answered surprisingly quickly.

“Science. Science became my least favorite after meeting Kwak Jaekwon.”

“Why? I find science the most interesting.”

“Because it feels like Kwak Jaekwon doesn’t believe me because of it.”

“Most people, not just me, will think, ‘What nonsense,’ when they hear what Seon Wisoo says.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Then I guess Seon Wisoo has only met those kinds of people.”

Jaekwon suddenly became curious as he spoke.

“How many people have you met so far?”

“…….”

“How many clients have you met without sexual activity?”

Even as he spoke, Jaekwon chuckled coldly, half-doubting his own question.

“I don’t remember.”

“Wow…. Seon Wisoo is popular.”

“…….”

“How many alphas among them?”

“I don’t know. That kind of thing….”

“Can’t you smell the pheromones?”

“I can’t smell them.”

“Then how many men? Were there any women?”

Seon Wisoo turned his head and stared at Jaekwon.

“Do you think I’m some kind of male prostitute?”

“Serving women is also considered prostitution.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think of you that way.”

“But when Kwak Jaekwon asks, it sounds like that.”

“Hmm, that’s because I’m a pervert.”

Jaekwon answered frankly.

“I have a high libido and I like sex.”

That wasn’t what he meant, but Kwak Jaekwon slyly and smoothly dodged the point.

“Don’t worry. You’re not my type.”

Jaekwon ruffled Wisoo’s hair with his large hand and stood up. He then reached for the food in the refrigerator that the housekeeper had stocked. Because the other person who would have evoked disgust, Chairman Kwak, no longer existed. This house belonged to Seon Wisoo, and Seon Wisoo would become his if he simply declared it. With this neat proposition, Jaekwon only had to decide whether to draw the inequality sign.

Why was this easy task still not appealing to him?

He wet his lips with his tongue and then sharply narrowed his eyes at a sound he heard.

“Speaking of Kwak Jaekwon’s type….”

“Shh.”

Jaekwon pressed his index finger to his lips.

It was definitely the sound of a car. And it was approaching this house. He had a feeling about what it might be.

“Take your book and go to the second floor.”

“Why, why?”

Wisoo asked, not wanting to go upstairs without Jaekwon. However, unlike usual, Jaekwon didn’t repeat himself. Wisoo, seeing his hardened expression, gathered his books and headed to the second floor. If it were Jaekwon, he might have at least questioned him, but Wisoo originally didn’t argue or put up much resistance. He had been conditioned that way. That ingrained habit, though unwelcome, made him climb the stairs.

He hated going into the rooms even more. The hallway was narrow and long. It was a hallway disproportionate to the width of the house. Furthermore, the second floor was very inefficient, with the two rooms situated side-by-side along the narrow hallway, not facing each other. Wisoo felt like it was a prison. It wasn’t much different, either.

As he ascended, he felt the things that had huddled together on the second floor to avoid Jaekwon flinch. He sat on the stairs with his back to them. He didn’t want to draw the attention of the things that were nestled in the corners of the walls, creaking and clacking, towards himself.

He held his breath and listened to the sounds from downstairs and the corners of the second floor. Soon, he heard a knock. Wisoo was startled.

“What brings you here at night without an invitation?”

Judging by the greeting, it seemed like someone Jaekwon knew. Wisoo bit his nails, guessing they must be the uncles.

A cacophony of voices followed. It was because each of them had so much to say that they didn’t bother being considerate of others.

“Please have a seat. It’s noisy.”

Jaekwon rudely cut them off.

There was a brief lull. The rustling of clothes indicated that they had each taken a seat. Wisoo felt a chill down his spine and beads of sweat forming. Too many people had come in. Because of the smell of their living flesh and fresh blood, and the lingering souls stuck in the corners, rotting away because they couldn’t move on after death, those things had started to take notice. It would only take a moment for them to tear their heads away from the corners and come this way. He desperately needed Kwak Jaekwon.

However, Kwak Jaekwon couldn’t escape his father’s brothers, who were like a pack of dogs.

“Are you really going to live with your brother’s lover?”

“Oh, how can rumors get so twisted and vulgar?”

“The fact that you’re living in this house is what’s vulgar! I heard you even hired the caretaker back.”

“Did that person tell you everything? I trusted them, I’m disappointed.”

“That’s not right, Jaekwon. It makes no sense to live with the person who lived with your father. You know that’s indecent, right?”

“I don’t know. Didn’t they say he was just a bed warmer?”

When Jaekwon responded indifferently, his uncles and their wives all flushed. They were angry.

“You’re not so naive that you don’t know what a bed warmer means…!”

“He said he didn’t do anything like that.”

“Who?! My brother?!”

“How can a dead person talk? Seon Wisoo said so.”

“You’re even calling him by his name?!”

The most hot-headed of the uncles, the second oldest, finally jumped up and shouted. Jaekwon hated loud noises. Music was fine, but noise was troublesome. And these people were noise to him. He realized anew that Seon Wisoo’s pointless phone calls weren’t even noise.

“That guy, he’s famous! He’s famous for warming the beds of lonely, wealthy old men who are mentally weak! After that guy visits, all those chairmen, CEOs, and influential figures barely survive and then…!”

Wisoo, sitting on the landing of the stairs, had bitten his nails so short that his skin was exposed. He wanted to go down and say, “It’s not true, it’s not true,” but the man’s words weren’t wrong. The bed…. He had, in a way, warmed it. There had been no sexual activity, that was all. Hearing his life recounted by a third party like this brought nothing but shame. He thought it was natural for Kwak Jaekwon to misunderstand and insult him.

It was a surprisingly younger voice that continued the shouting. It sounded about the same age as Jaekwon.

“They live vibrantly again and then die quickly.”

“…….”

“Yes, just like our eldest brother, Jaekwon.”

Hearing that voice, Wisoo’s heart pounded wildly. He had never heard what happened to the people his teacher had sent him to. He just never went back. He truly hadn’t known that such a thing would happen.

“Oh, what do I do? I, I, I didn’t do anything.”

Wisoo panicked and started tearing at his hair. The sweet scent emanating from the cracks in Wisoo’s mind and soul, opened by his despair and confusion, caught the attention of the dead things, and they slowly turned from the corners. They shuffled closer, dragging their feet. Goosebumps began to rise on Wisoo’s back, neck, and cheeks.

“Are you going to keep a prostitute, Jaekwon?”

“He’s not a prostitute.”

“If you sell your body for money, it’s prostitution.”

“I’ve never paid Seon Wisoo for his body.”

“You…. Why are you pretending not to understand, unlike you? We’re talking about Seon Wisoo’s past. And we’re talking about our eldest brother’s sudden death.”

Jaekwon had good hearing. Perhaps he was perceptive, or perhaps he had well-developed intuition, which he himself didn’t believe in. In any case, without even seeing him, he sensed Wisoo coming down the stairs as if in a trance. He also somehow knew that Wisoo would be standing at the turn of the stairs between the second and first floors, observing the situation.

“He’s a baby.”

So, without even turning around, he pointed behind him with his fist, only his thumb extended. At that gesture, Kwak Jaekwon’s relatives, who had filled the living room, rose in unison and looked in the direction he indicated.

“…Gasp.”

Wisoo, who had walked down like a sleepwalker, took a sharp breath at their gazes. His feet felt rooted to the spot, as if taxidermied. He barely managed to retreat and partially hide himself, but even so, his face and half of his body were still visible.

He couldn’t go back any further. Those things were singing songs of joy behind him.

The words ‘He’s a baby’ sounded like ‘He’s my baby.’ The man of similar age to Jaekwon, who had bluntly called Wisoo a prostitute, stood up. He hadn’t realized it before, as the man had remained seated alone while everyone else stood up, except for Jaekwon, but he was quite tall. He resembled Jaekwon, but with thinner features and languid eyes. Wisoo felt his gaze clinging to him like seaweed.

I hate this. I want to leave. I want to run away.

Jaekwon’s words, asking if he knew how others perceived him, weren’t wrong at all. In their eyes right now, he would be nothing more than a wicked young male prostitute who killed old men….

Wisoo’s vision began to swirl. He showed signs of hyperventilating. Just then, Jaekwon tilted his head back completely behind the back of the sofa. With his arms spread wide on the backrest and his head tilted back, he exuded the distinct impression of not being intimidated by the situation, but rather dominating it.

Amidst his confusion, Wisoo focused on Jaekwon. He concentrated only on him. Then, Jaekwon smiled faintly and turned his body halfway around. He beckoned with his hand.

“Baby. Come here.”

“…….”

The hand gripping the banister trembled. His feet did the same. But Wisoo couldn’t help but move. Kwak Jaekwon had called him. His only refuge.

It felt like a long time, and yet also like an instant. Fifteen pairs of eyes followed Wisoo’s every move. As he finally stood next to Jaekwon, he felt an arm wrap around his waist. Not only that, but his buttocks were firmly grasped. Unlike how Wisoo had always been, Jaekwon leaned in and pressed close to him.

“So what if he’s a male prostitute?”

Jaekwon said, as if humming a tune.

“My father lived that way and died.”

“Kwak Jaekwon…!”

“Seon Wisoo doesn’t ask me for money. Rather, I should be the one asking him for money.”

Jaekwon pulled Wisoo in front of him. He spread his legs and positioned Wisoo between them as if trapping him, then wrapped his arms around his waist. As soon as he felt Jaekwon’s warmth and the texture of his skin, the fear of the second floor disappeared for Wisoo, leaving only the fear of the living people on the first floor.

“Say hello. You need to make a good impression. That man, my father, became obsessed with this beautiful person in his later years and tied up all his assets here.”

As soon as he finished speaking, an uproar erupted. If it had been a dining table set with a formal meal, forks and knives would have flown, plates would have shattered, and all sorts of liquids would have been splashed at each other.

Jaekwon dismissed the chaos he had unleashed as if it were merely flamboyant wallpaper and turned Seon Wisoo towards him.

“Kiss me.”

“Yes…?”

Wisoo asked back in a trembling voice that sounded like a sigh, in response to Jaekwon’s whisper.

“Hurry. That’s how I’ll survive and win here.”

Survive. He needs me to survive.

Wisoo became entranced. He felt like his feet were lifting off the ground, like he was floating. If it meant your survival, then a kiss was nothing. Wisoo bent at the waist, smiled demurely, and approached Jaekwon, who was waiting for him. The man with the gentle smile looked younger than his age. Kissing Jaekwon, Wisoo felt as if small bumblebee wings had sprouted on his back, as if they would somehow lift his heavy body into the air. It was sweet and pleasant.

‘Wisoo, you’re saving Teacher. You have to repay your debt.’

But then, a voice struck his mind, and his eyes snapped open.

“That’s enough.”

Just then, Jaekwon pushed Wisoo away gently, his smile fading.

While Wisoo, hearing the sound of a bumblebee’s 230 flaps per second, recalled his teacher’s voice once again, silence had fallen over the surroundings. A terrifying, tar-like silence.

Jaekwon, turning Wisoo around and embracing him from behind, said with a smile that uniquely resembled Kwak Bonyoung,

“I think I’ll take everything that belonged to my father.”

“…….”

“Even the prodigal son has that right.”

“…What are you going to do with all that by yourself?”

Someone finally managed to speak and ask. Jaekwon pretended to consider it, then replied,

“I don’t think I have any reason to tell you. I’ll just say I’m not stupid enough to throw away what I can have and what’s rightfully mine.”

Of course, what he wanted to do was clear.

Kwak Jaekwon wanted to take what Kwak Bonyoung cherished and destroy it, break it, dismantle it. So, Seon Wisoo’s words had to be true. That he had never had sexual relations with Kwak Bonyoung and was merely a worthless being who existed solely for hire – those words had to be true, Seon Wisoo.

“Please leave now. It’s getting late.”

Jaekwon, hiding his true intentions like the flower shapes his mother used to fold, issued an eviction order to those who shared Kwak Bonyoung’s blood.

This house belongs to Seon Wisoo, Seon Wisoo has been transferred to me, and I intend to exercise that right from now on.

His insides, which had been listless as if his desires had been castrated after Kwak Bonyoung’s death, began to boil again.

❖ ❖ ❖

The brief lull in the commotion, fueled by the silence, erupted into an even greater frenzy. It was only after Jaekwon said, “Should I call the police?” and showed them 112 on his phone screen that they finally left the house.

Having experienced only a tomb-like silence since arriving at this house, Wisoo was bewildered by the situation. His ears were ringing. Jaekwon, who had locked the door, approached Wisoo, who was standing there dazed.

“It was noisy, wasn’t it?”

“Ah…. Yes.”

“It was noisy for me too. I prefer quiet, you know, more than you might think.”

Jaekwon ruffled Wisoo’s hair and then headed to the kitchen. He poured a glass of water, drank half of it, and offered it to Wisoo. Wisoo, about to take the glass with both hands, looked at the part where Jaekwon’s lips had touched and asked,

“Why did you tell me to kiss you?”

“I told you. To save me. You saw how quiet those people became, right? I thought I needed to show them some live drama to calm them down, so I tried it, and it worked.”

“They seemed… really angry.”

“Do I have to listen to them making unreasonable demands just because they’re angry? There would be no end to it if I listened to every single thing like that.”

“…….”

“Anyway, you did well, the acting. Good improvisation skills too.”

Jaekwon turned towards the bathroom. A mutter of, “I should demolish that perverted bathroom,” could be heard. Wisoo, after a moment of silence, impulsively called out to Jaekwon.

“It wasn’t acting for me!”

Wisoo’s hand became damp with the condensation on the water bottle.

“It wasn’t acting. For me.”

Jaekwon paused for a moment, crossed his arms, took off his clothes in one swift motion, and replied.

“Really? It was acting for me.”

“…….”

“Let’s just leave it at that.”

He smiled over his shoulder and entered the bathroom.

The water droplets that fell from the bottle onto Wisoo’s feet felt like ice picks.

The night deepened. Wisoo huddled, clutching a crumpled paper cup phone in one hand and his cell phone in the other. The murmuring voices of those things in the hallway beyond the open door crack suggested that he desired Jaekwon all the more because he couldn’t have him.

Wisoo, looking back and forth between his two hands, stood up at 2:55 a.m.

As Wisoo emerged, those things, which had been standing beyond Jaekwon’s door frame, turned their heads. Since they weren’t able to cross over today, it seemed he wasn’t having nightmares. Wisoo stealthily approached Jaekwon, avoiding their obvious gazes, which felt like they were probing his insides.

A single doorframe separated the world he stood in from theirs. The small world where Jaekwon slept was quiet and peaceful.

“…Kwak Jaekwon.”

Even at his timid call, Kwak Jaekwon didn’t wake. Wisoo crept closer. He was careful not to crumple the paper cup under his hand on the floor, even though the inner cup, already folded, was already crumpled.

“Kwak Jaekwon, are you asleep?”

His whispered call was so soft that it was ambiguous whether it was meant to wake him or lull him to sleep further.

In the dimly lit, bluish-grey room, illuminated by the sparse moonlight filtering in from outside, Wisoo carefully examined Jaekwon’s face. He could see better at night than during the day. It was probably because he had spent a considerable amount of time in the dark, holding his breath, unaware of how or how much time was passing.

“Are you asleep…?”

He swallowed dryly and licked his lips with his rough tongue. Thanks to the somewhat sweet, worldly food Jaekwon had been feeding him, Wisoo’s tongue, which had been as soft as a baby’s, had become slightly rough. He wanted to stick it out, to let Jaekwon feel the change in texture brought about by him.

Jaekwon was quiet, and Wisoo slowly leaned down.

“It’s me…. Seon Wisoo.”

This would be the last time he woke him like this. Wisoo swallowed repeatedly. His mouth watered more than when he smelled stimulating food. Kwak Jaekwon seemed more harmful, stimulating, and addictive to him than sugar, chili powder, salt, caffeine, and nicotine.

Holding his breath, he leaned down further. His target was Jaekwon’s closed lips.

Their lips touched. A tingling sensation spread. The memory, the feeling from a few hours ago, came back vividly.

“Ha…”

The corners of Wisoo’s lips turned up. A sweet sigh escaped from between his slightly parted lips. Just then, his hair was tightly grasped, and his head was lifted.

“Ah…!”

Jaekwon was staring at him in the dim, bluish-grey light.

Since when had he been awake? However, despite being caught stealing a kiss, Wisoo’s demeanor was surprisingly calm. Perhaps it was because he didn’t regret it, and even if he could turn back time, he would have still come as a thief.

Jaekwon didn’t interrogate him, asking what he had just done. There was no need to ask the obvious. He simply held Wisoo’s hair firmly, preventing him from moving. Staring intently at Wisoo, he tilted his head slightly and moved closer.

Their lips were about to touch. His body heat and breath were already reaching Wisoo. Wisoo’s breath hitched. However, just as they were about to touch, just as the thin outer skin of their lips grazed each other, he stopped.

Jaekwon sat up, using only his abdominal strength.

“Are you feeling lustful towards me?”

Jaekwon asked very quietly, in a casual tone as if he were saying, “Did you sleep well?”

“Your pheromones are leaking, Seon Wisoo. I can even feel it when you’re in the next room, separated by a wall. They’re leaking, crossing that door frame, and coming to me. Constantly.”

“…….”

“Every time that happens, I think…”

Wisoo briefly entertained a hypothesis. That the things outside couldn’t come in not because Jaekwon wasn’t having nightmares, but because he hadn’t been asleep in the first place.

“…that if I showed Seon Wisoo a bit of what I’m like, he wouldn’t do such reckless things.”

Although his tone was as usual, it was clear that Jaekwon was coldly angry.

He was angry. To be more precise, it was closer to annoyance. The action itself wasn’t unpleasant, but the ignorant, foolish innocence was irritating.

Jaekwon reached for Wisoo’s wrist, the one holding his hair. Yes, he probably hadn’t been asleep from the beginning. Because he was wearing a watch. He unfastened the watch. Since it was close to Wisoo’s ear, the click sounded loud. He carefully folded it and placed it on the floor, then waited for a moment. The second hand pointed to 12, and it became exactly 3:00 a.m.

“Take off your pants.”

Jaekwon said, releasing Wisoo’s hair.

Wisoo was taken aback by the virtual command.

“Excuse me?”

“I thought Seon Wisoo needed to know. I didn’t want to be the one to teach you.”

As Wisoo still seemed bewildered, Jaekwon smiled quietly. However, an immense pressure, contrary to his smile, poured onto Wisoo. His thighs, which had been kneeling, buckled. Wisoo barely managed to prevent himself from falling sideways, making a startled sound, “Uh, uh…”

“Seon Wisoo, I know you’re not intentionally leaking pheromones. You can’t help it because you don’t know. But I can’t let you walk around like this, can I, seeing you in that state?”

Jaekwon checked the time. He would make it happen before 10 minutes passed, even if it took a while. 10 minutes at most, preferably when the minute hand reached the 5.

“I’ve decided to be your guardian now.”

“My, my body is weak…. I can’t move….”

“You can move. Hurry up. Take off your pants. I don’t want to force them off.”

Wisoo gritted his teeth, crawling on the floor. He rubbed his elbows and forearms against the floor until they turned red. Three minutes passed like that. Jaekwon realized that starting at the 5-minute mark was out of the question.

Fortunately, after about 7 minutes of collapsing like that, Wisoo was able to move. His breath was ragged, and his body was flushed. His head spun, and he couldn’t tell if his body was melting like jelly on the hard floor, or if the floor was jelly, and his body was hard. With great effort, he took off his lower garments as Jaekwon had instructed. The fact that he didn’t even question why he was obeying Jaekwon probably stemmed from Seon Wisoo’s ingrained obedience.

And Jaekwon, too, noticed Wisoo’s accustomed obedience. Even if it was just physical obedience, someone else had consistently controlled and coerced Seon Wisoo before him. Not only his diet but also his body.

“Including your underwear, no, there’s not enough time for that. Come here.”

Jaekwon beckoned with his outstretched hand. Wisoo crawled towards him. The world spun too violently for him to stand on two feet, and his waist felt like it would give out. The way his back arched as his upper body kept tilting forward was extremely indecent, but because Jaekwon didn’t comment on it, Wisoo was unaware of how he looked. For Wisoo right now, simply not crying or fainting was the best he could do.

“Here. Lie down on your stomach.”

Jaekwon’s voice was still very gentle. Wisoo looked up with blurred vision. Losing his composure was not desirable. Jaekwon clicked his tongue near Wisoo’s forehead. The light returned to his hazy gaze.

“I didn’t even release that much, just a little, and you’re like this. This won’t do.”

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

“Get a grip. This amount is just a daily dose. If you can’t handle this much, it could become a weakness.”

Jaekwon added, “Or do you like me that much?” and pointed to his thigh again.

Yes, yes. I like you. I like you.

He wanted to answer, but no sound came out. He felt frustrated. Still, it was perhaps fortunate that even if he said he liked him in this situation, Jaekwon would have probably dismissed it, thinking he meant he liked the pheromones.

Wisoo shakily laid down on his stomach on Jaekwon’s thigh. Jaekwon shifted his knee, causing Wisoo’s body to lean further forward. Wisoo’s lower body settled perfectly on his left thigh. His buttocks were lifted at just the right angle. He was thin and narrow-hipped, but the shape of his buttocks was beautiful.

“…I hope this doesn’t happen again, but I need to draw a line. Since we’ll be living together for a while.”

“Hng….”

“It should ideally never happen, but if we inevitably find ourselves in this situation…”

Jaekwon refrained from using words like ‘play’ or ‘training.’ Calling it training would be too condescending, and calling it play wouldn’t be accurate, given the unexpected nature of the situation and lack of Wisoo’s consent.

“…in this kind of situation, I won’t respect you.”

“…….”

“Understood?”

“Yes, yes…!”

Wisoo answered, trembling suddenly.

Jaekwon checked the time. Exactly 10 minutes had passed. Just as planned. He rolled up his sleeves and lightly stroked Wisoo’s buttocks.

“Don’t leak like that. You shouldn’t let anyone become aware of your existence and judge you so carelessly, should you?”

“Hng….”

“Answer me.”

“Yes…! Yes…. Sob, yes….”

It would have been good if it had ended there. However, Wisoo was disoriented from being exposed to the pheromones, to which he had no immunity.

“I’m sorry, Teacher….”

As soon as he finished speaking, Jaekwon’s hand rose and then fell, slicing through the air.

A sharp smack resonated, and his buttocks stung. Wisoo’s body flinched at the sudden pain.

“I won’t tie you up today.”

Jaekwon’s voice was still even.

“It, it hurts….”

Wisoo mumbled in a dazed voice.

“Seon Wisoo. You can’t even control your pheromones, yet you recklessly enter my room and touch my lips without consent.”

Another stinging sensation on his buttocks. Accompanied by a smack.

“And calling me Teacher. Who are you with right now?”

Jaekwon stroked Wisoo’s buttocks from his lower to upper cheeks, and then smacked him.

“Hngh! With, with Jaekwon… Kwak Jaekwon…!”

“Am I your teacher?”

“No…”

“That’s right. We’re not in that kind of relationship.”

Jaekwon struck him once more. How many times had it been? Wisoo was already losing count. Jaekwon glanced at the time. The minute hand was past the 3, nearing the 4.

“I’m closer to being your manager. So, Seon Wisoo. Don’t leak your pheromones, suppress them. Learn some self-control.”

Jaekwon let out a slow breath with a hint of laughter in his voice. Wisoo, who had been panting heavily, mimicked his breathing. His eyes were brimming with tears.

“We have a long way to go….”

He murmured and squeezed Wisoo’s buttocks firmly. It had only been four strikes. Yet, both of Wisoo’s buttocks were bright red. Jaekwon’s hands were quite large, and he was skilled at controlling his strength. They were red only because he had held back. If he had acted out of anger, there would already be bruises. But that would just be violence.

“Seon Wisoo…. Do you desire me?”

Jaekwon whispered.

Wisoo realized the emotion and desire that had been coursing through his body along with the pain. He desired Jaekwon. Unbearably so.

Just then, Jaekwon’s palm moved towards Wisoo’s buttocks again. With the smack, Wisoo’s head jerked up. His expression, blanching white, looked as if he had reached a climax.

Tick. The minute hand reached the 4. Twenty minutes had passed. A lull, similar to the one after their kiss in front of his relatives, settled between them.

“Ointment.”

“Hngh….”

“I’ll apply it for you.”

Jaekwon spoke respectfully in a calm voice. It was over. Ah…. It was really over.

Wisoo was lowered onto the bed by Jaekwon’s careful hands. He felt Jaekwon stand up, leaving him lying on his stomach.

“Ha… ha…”

Wisoo, still lying face down, rubbed his flushed cheeks against the sheets and hesitantly touched his lips.

They were swollen even though he hadn’t bitten or rubbed them. Down below was the same.

“…Did he notice?”

Except for the heat cycles he couldn’t remember, this was practically his first erection. While fully conscious. Ah, but could he even call himself fully conscious? He didn’t know. He just felt dazed, his buttocks ached… and somehow relieved, and he missed the feeling of being on Jaekwon’s thighs.

Yes. He missed it.

Wisoo chewed on his lips. While doing so, he didn’t even realize that those things hadn’t entered the room despite Jaekwon’s absence.

The room was filled with a sultry heat. Jaekwon returned and placed a cold, wet towel on Wisoo’s buttocks and opened the window. A night breeze, like an autumn wind, flowed in.

Jaekwon came back to Wisoo’s side.

“This is my preference.”

He hadn’t really even had a taste. He had greatly controlled his strength. It was a roundabout way of saying that if Wisoo understood, he should stop it here. Wisoo turned his head, pressed his cheek against the sheet, and looked up at Jaekwon.

“…I think my preference is Kwak Jaekwon.”

“…….”

After a long while, Jaekwon’s lips curved up slightly. His eyes weren’t smiling. Was he angry? He radiated heat as if he were angry.

“Don’t ever say that again. It’s not pleasant at all, it’s just annoying.”

“…….”

“For the first time, I’m thinking that being stupid but wise is better than being smart but foolish. Because of you, Seon Wisoo.”

Would it have hurt less if he had gotten angry instead?

Despite the rather harsh words, Wisoo wasn’t greatly disappointed. Nor was he hurt. Rejection from others was something Wisoo was accustomed to.

“Your hands. Your hands are really….”

“Be quiet and go to sleep. In a little while, it might hurt too much to sleep.”

Licking his lips with lingering desire, Wisoo focused on the hand Jaekwon had carelessly placed on his raised knee. He closed his eyes. In his imagination, not reality, he rose, crawled on his knees towards Jaekwon, and put his fingertips in his mouth. He wanted to suck quietly, lean on his shoulder, use his thigh as a pillow, and fall asleep. The breeze would become his blanket, and then there would be no sleepless nightmares.

Jaekwon, watching Wisoo drift off to sleep with a sigh after such an imagination, turned his head. The delicate, glass-like scent of pheromones lingered around his nose. A transparent scent, without any weight, not at all bothersome despite being so strong.

“We have a long… a very long way to go.”

Jaekwon showed no sign of annoyance despite Wisoo’s unchanged state.

The palm of his hand, which had been used for this purpose for the first time in a long time, was warm. He repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fist, then brought his spread hand towards Wisoo’s face before withdrawing it.

❖ ❖ ❖

Because his buttocks ached, Wisoo had to awkwardly descend the stairs. Jaekwon was asleep, lying on his stomach. It was the first time he had seen him sleeping. He wanted to look longer, but his curiosity about the state of his buttocks was greater, so Wisoo headed towards the bathroom.

He left the door of the wicked green bathroom slightly ajar. He hated enclosed spaces, especially humid ones like this. He stepped onto the edge of the bathtub and turned his buttocks towards the mirror. Strangely, there wasn’t a single bruise, despite the stinging sensation. Actually, the pain wasn’t so severe that it hindered movement, it was just unfamiliar.

Wisoo, fascinated, stared at his buttocks for a while.

“What are you doing?”

He hadn’t realized that Jaekwon, half-asleep, was leaning against the doorway, watching him.

“Ah….”

Wisoo made a dazed sound. It was because the situation was so comical.

Instead of laughing at Wisoo, Jaekwon came in, lifted him up, and set him down from the edge of the bathtub.

“People die easily from just bumping their heads the wrong way. You know that, right?”

He then leaned his head over Wisoo’s shoulder and checked his buttocks. They were clean. Of course, he wouldn’t have made a mistake. Smiling with satisfaction, he straightened up and yawned.

“I’m going to use the bathroom. Are you leaving? If you’re staying, then stay.”

He had half-closed eyes and messy hair. He didn’t look like the person who had set his watch and spanked his buttocks yesterday.

That hand…. Wisoo’s gaze followed Jaekwon’s hand as it moved. Unconscious of Wisoo’s presence, Jaekwon took out his penis from his pants. Erect from the morning arousal, it was alarmingly large. Jaekwon, as if asleep, closed his eyes and frowned as he relieved himself. At the sound of the strong stream and its sheer size, Wisoo looked back and forth between Jaekwon’s penis and his own, then quickly slipped out. Jaekwon, who had his eyes closed, slightly opened them and followed Wisoo’s trajectory.

Wisoo also felt a sudden urge to urinate. A strange urge. It was because of Jaekwon. He almost ran to the second-floor bathroom. It was a place Wisoo truly disliked and avoided using except in absolutely unavoidable situations. But there was no other choice. Wisoo squeezed his eyes shut so he couldn’t see the mirror, his body trembling as he relieved himself.

He glanced at his own penis, which looked completely different from Jaekwon’s, as if they were of different species, and then quickly closed his eyes again, as if afraid that something hideous, like a grotesque face, would pop out in the meantime.

Thus passed a morning filled with tension.

Jaekwon didn’t go jogging today. Yet, he seemed refreshed.

“It’s raining.”

He even greeted Wisoo first as he came down the stairs.

Just as Jaekwon had said, the sound of raindrops could be heard beyond the half-open window. The pitter-patter of rain on the leaves was pleasant, like music, but Wisoo was restless because of the muggy humidity.

“I’m thinking of installing an air conditioner.”

Jaekwon said as he distributed the toast that had just popped out of the toaster. While he was speaking, Wisoo was still pacing back and forth between the kitchen and the living room like a puppy needing to relieve itself.

“I think we also need a dehumidifier.”

And he needed to call Na Hakyeong today.

Mentally organizing his priorities, Jaekwon turned back to the table and slightly frowned.

He saw Seon Wisoo pacing back and forth with his hands clasped tightly together. If he had paint on his soles, the floor would have been covered in his tracks, such was his restlessness.

“Stop being so fidgety and come here.”

Jaekwon gestured with his chin. Wisoo hesitated and then ran over as if escaping.

Usually, they sat facing each other, but today, Wisoo pulled his plate closer and sat next to Jaekwon.

Jaekwon was now accustomed to Wisoo clinging to him, so instead of saying anything, he pulled the marmalade closer and offered it to Wisoo.

The toast, which Wisoo had been eating plain like hardtack, slipped from his hand. Jaekwon had taken it. Wisoo, so distracted that he hadn’t even noticed the toast being snatched from right next to him, blankly watched as Jaekwon spread orange marmalade and strawberry jam, half and half, on his toast.

“Eat.”

Jaekwon offered it to him and then took a crisp bite of his own. Wisoo was always touched by Jaekwon’s dry consideration. While the humidity filling the air, on the other hand, made him freeze.

Thanks to the sugary spread Jaekwon had provided, Wisoo’s mind finally settled. Stars seemed to sparkle in Wisoo’s eyes as he took his first bite.

“Over some jam?”

Jaekwon rolled the jam jar in his hand. Despite its sweetness, the sugar content was actually close to zero. He wondered how amazed Wisoo would be if he unwrapped a piece of candy and placed it on his tongue. He should tell Hwang Gujo to buy some candy or chocolate next time. The list of things Hwang Gujo needed to bring was growing without him even knowing it.

“Eat, and I’ll apply the ointment. It’s not that bad, but you seem a little shocked.”

“I’m fine, there are no bruises….”

“Right, you’re fine. But seeing you checking your buttocks in the mirror makes me a little concerned.”

“…Is that Kwak Jaekwon’s preference?”

“What? Checking buttocks in the mirror?”

“Oh, no!”

Wisoo shook his head, taking a bite of the strawberry jam side this time. He tried to chew and swallow quickly, but the sweetness made it difficult. He felt a sense of loss even though there was still some left.

Finally, after a long while, he was able to swallow and drink some water.

“That kind of… spanking and all that.”

“It’s called spanking.”

Jaekwon said, having already finished one piece of toast and picking up another.

“And if you’re asking if that’s my preference, I’d say that, along with several other things, is my preference.”

“Several other things…?”

“Why? Are you curious?”

Jaekwon asked with a chuckle. He had, of course, expected a negative answer. But the answer he received was unexpected.

“Yes. I’m curious.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked back slightly.

Wisoo’s cheeks were faintly flushed.

“I’m curious…. about the other things too.”

“…….”

“Could you tell me about Kwak Jaekwon’s preferences?”

“No.”

Not a single word was worth it. Jaekwon spoke firmly. Wisoo enjoyed being with Jaekwon, and he felt that having come this far already surpassed any stubbornness he might have displayed, so he retreated for now. Disappointed, he closed his mouth. He had a feeling that if he went to Jaekwon’s room and secretly kissed him again, he would get another spanking, or whatever it was called.

“Unlike your usual whining, you’re surprisingly bold.”

Jaekwon sighed, as if he could see right through him.

“You shouldn’t be casually curious about such things. Especially when you say you have no other experience. You shouldn’t start with this kind of thing without even trying normal sex when you don’t know anything.”

“Do you think I can have normal sex?”

Wisoo asked back.

“I can’t do that kind of thing.”

“…….”

“I can’t even have normal relationships.”

Jaekwon rubbed his eyebrows with the back of his thumb.

“Compared to the world I see, there’s no reason to be afraid of something like this.”

“Since you put it that way, I am a little curious. About the world Seon Wisoo sees.”

“No. Don’t be curious.”

Wisoo answered quickly, as if he had made a slip of the tongue. As if that wasn’t enough, and afraid that Jaekwon would actually look somewhere else, he held Jaekwon’s face and turned it towards himself.

“Don’t be curious about this place. Not even a little. Don’t come this way.”

“…….”

“I’ll go. I’ll stop you from coming here.”

“…Can you let go now? You’re getting jam on my cheek.”

“Ah.”

Surprised, Wisoo let go of his hand. Jaekwon rubbed his cheek with his fingertips and then wiped it with a tissue.

The quiet meal continued. Wisoo felt awkward because Jaekwon wasn’t reacting. Jaekwon ate his toast with an expression that was unreadable, or perhaps he wasn’t thinking anything at all.

He finished his meal first. Standing up and putting his plate in the sink, he suddenly placed his hand on the edge of the sink and trembled.

“Ha…”

He was laughing.

Pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose to suppress his rising laughter, he finally turned around. Wisoo was looking at him quizzically.

Although he thought he had suppressed it, Jaekwon’s expression still held a trace of amusement.

“I’m being treated like a child, something I’ve never experienced before….”

He murmured, shaking his head, and went out the front door. At the sound of the door closing, Wisoo grabbed his plate and dashed after him.

He stood on his tiptoes, trying to peek through the long, horizontal window, utterly useless for viewing the outside scenery.

He could see Jaekwon smoking beyond the small gap. He had one hand on his hip, a cigarette between his index and middle fingers of the other. He rubbed his brow bone with those fingers and then brought the cigarette to his lips, as if cupping his face. His upturned lips were slightly hidden.

“…Beautiful.”

Wisoo murmured, crunching on his toast.

The drizzling rain fell like silver threads behind him, beyond the eaves where he stood. Everything was beautiful. Even the weather, which Wisoo had definitely never liked before.

❖ ❖ ❖

Kwak Jaekwon spent the day in deliberate idleness. Wisoo liked it when Kwak Jaekwon was lazy. It was fascinating how he didn’t seem bored or negligent despite being so relaxed. Wisoo spent his time observing Jaekwon, eating the watermelon that the housekeeper had cut and stored in a container, as per Jaekwon’s instructions.

“You’ll get a stomachache if you eat too much. People with cold constitutions don’t do well with summer fruits.”

“Do I have a cold constitution?”

“Yes. You don’t get hot easily, either.”

Jaekwon suddenly recalled Wisoo, just before taking him to the hospital, wearing layers upon layers of clothes as if oblivious to the heat. He remembered clicking his tongue as he kept removing layers while changing him into a hospital gown, yet more clothes kept appearing. He was wearing those very clothes now. Come to think of it, he himself was quite nonchalant.

“By the way, why were you wearing my clothes back then?”

Jaekwon rolled over and took the airtight container of watermelon from Wisoo’s hand. He popped a few pieces into his mouth with his fingers, and unlike Wisoo, whose cheeks bulged after just one piece, Jaekwon’s cheeks only puffed out after several.

“I thought if I wore them, I wouldn’t see the scary things….”

“Oh, I thought you were wearing them because of my pheromones.”

Muttering to himself, Jaekwon stared at the ceiling, struck by a passing thought. He frowned and then tapped his lips.

Could the things Seon Wisoo claimed to see be more than just a problem with his pheromones? His fluctuating pheromones were affecting Seon Wisoo’s brain, causing him to see hallucinations. He had no medical knowledge, but it didn’t seem entirely implausible. He should have had him undergo a full examination, including brainwave and pheromone tests, during his last hospitalization.

Jaekwon quickly emptied most of the watermelon and returned it to Wisoo. Seeing him continuously eating, seemingly captivated by the unfamiliar sweetness, Jaekwon employed this tactic, worried that a stomachache would be troublesome. He didn’t want to tell him to stop. That was something Seon Wisoo’s teacher would say. Using someone else’s methods wasn’t his style.

“There are only three pieces left….”

Wisoo murmured with a sullen expression, poking at the flesh of the watermelon with a fork. Jaekwon’s feet, casually resting on the armrest of the sofa, wiggled. Annoying. But even his feet were beautiful, so Wisoo simply glared at them.

“Clean feet….”

People burdened by more than they could carry stained even their bare feet with grime. Every step imprinted fatigue, irritation, exhaustion, and suffering. Peel away a layer, and loneliness, self-reproach, and self-loathing would be revealed. Wisoo, not knowing what those footprints signified, hopped around looking only at the ground in an attempt to avoid them, and ended up getting hit by a car. He was five years old.

Fortunately, the car was moving slowly at 20 km/h. Unfortunately, because of that, Wisoo met his teacher.

‘Look at that! He can’t even hear me calling him, and he keeps looking somewhere else. I’m his mother, I’m his parent, but he only listens to other people! I don’t even know if it’s a person he’s listening to!’

His mother’s cries could be heard from beyond the hospital room door. He even remembered the time. It was 4:30 a.m. Even at five, Wisoo was smart enough to tell time.

‘I’m really scared. I’m scared of him even though he’s my own son, honey.’

‘Then what do we do?! Abandon him?! How can you say such a thing as a mother?!’

‘You don’t know because you’re not home!’

Finally, his mother’s silhouette could be seen beyond the translucent glass of the hospital room door as she yelled.

‘You don’t know! How we live at home, how Wisoo lives, how scared I am because of him and how, how lonely Wisoo is!’

Wisoo squeezed his eyes shut. Even if he was smart, he couldn’t endure his parents’ fighting.

He counted to one hundred. Even at five, Wisoo was smart enough to count to one hundred.

It was a middle-aged man who woke Wisoo from his fitful sleep. He stroked Wisoo’s forehead and smiled kindly when Wisoo woke and looked at him.

‘You are a special child, aren’t you?’

Wisoo knew the word ‘special’ because he was smart. However, he vaguely sensed that it wasn’t always used in a good way among people. Special, unique, strange, bizarre, different, wrong – they were clearly distinct, yet they were often used interchangeably. Sometimes without malice, sometimes with.

‘Teacher recognized you. You’re a good, obedient, and cute boy, Wisoo.’

But even if Wisoo was smart, he craved affection. The words ‘good boy’ resonated more as praise than ‘special.’

He shouldn’t have smiled then.

Wisoo often came to this conclusion as he recalled that moment, but he didn’t regret it. There was too much holding him back to regret it.

And Wisoo’s feet were dirtier than his shoulders. Wisoo couldn’t remember what his feet looked like anymore. He just hoped that beneath the dirt, there were beautiful feet like Kwak Jaekwon’s.

“Beautiful hands, clean feet…”

It was such a soft murmur that Jaekwon didn’t hear it.

His wiggling feet stopped. His phone was ringing.

Jaekwon tilted his head back to check on Wisoo. Wisoo held up both hands with the last piece of watermelon in his mouth. Indicating it wasn’t him. Only then did Jaekwon slowly reach into his pocket and pull out his phone.

“Ah…. Who is this?”

He checked the name, frowned, and touched his neck. Then he answered the call. The end of his greeting, “Hello,” trailed off.

Jaekwon became quiet as the other person spoke. Wisoo was gently scraping at the watermelon rind. Jaekwon gestured and mouthed, “Don’t eat that,” frowning. It looked more like a smile than a frown, so Wisoo smiled too.

“Hmm…. Uh. I know.”

He was speaking informally. This was the first time Wisoo had heard Jaekwon speak so casually, except when he was spanking him or talking to Hwang Gujo. So, was it Hwang Gujo?

“I know where that is.”

However, his tone was subtly stiffer than when he spoke to Hwang Gujo. Wisoo stealthily inched closer to Jaekwon. There wasn’t any space to lie down next to him, who was sprawled out, so he settled down beneath the sofa. Jaekwon picked at the sofa with his fingernails, then touched Wisoo’s hair. It didn’t seem like a conscious action. Still, Wisoo liked it and leaned his head against him like a clownfish nuzzling an anemone.

“Hmm, I’m busy.”

Jaekwon lied without batting an eye, despite lying down and yawning.

However, the other person seemed quite persistent. Jaekwon finally relented with a clear sign of annoyance.

“Send me the details of when and where to meet. What if I can’t go because I forgot?”

He had no intention of going to that prearranged meeting.

Jaekwon ended the call even though the other person seemed to be still talking.

“Who was that?”

“My cousin. Do you have any cousins?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never asked. I think my mom had a sister or a younger sibling. But why your cousin?”