Mother Tape Chapter 9.3

Kwak Jaekwon was staring down with his head deeply bowed. Coincidentally, he looked exactly like Seon Wisoo.

Gwak Jaekyeong now missed Seon Wisoo. He didn’t know if it was lust or if he had grown fond of him, but he wondered if there was any need to distinguish between the two. If he played his cards right, he might even be able to use Kwak Jaekwon to make Jung Taegyu’s connections his own. He might as well make use of Seon Wisoo himself. Wouldn’t he be able to climb higher and faster than Jung Taegyu, who had probably rolled around in who knows where to crawl his way up here?

Gwak Jaekyeong took out a new glass and drank it down after filling it to the brim. Even after drinking the strong liquor, he fearlessly jingled his car keys.

“I’m leaving. Call me.”

Jaekwon didn’t get up until Gwak Jaekyeong had walked away, humming a tune. The door opened and then closed, and all that remained was a crumpled shopping bag and a crumpled Kwak Jaekwon.

Jaekwon, now completely alone in the house, took out his phone. With a clack, he pulled off his pants and, wedging the phone between his shoulder and ear, found a pair of tweezers. Holding the tiny ice tweezers, he sat up on the bar table and began to pull out the glass shards embedded in his knees.

—Yes.

“…I found the washing machine. I don’t know yet if it’s Hyegwang’s, if Gwak Jaekyeong is using it alone, or if he’s using it with Jung Taegyu. Try to trace it back.”

—How did you find it?!

“For a cheap price. And we need to start over with the location. That bastard from before, bring him back. I have something to check.”

Jaekwon had sold his knees for a cheap price and ended the call. He poured expensive liquor over his knees, which were now left with only wounds, the glass shards all removed. Then, drinking straight from the bottle, he pulled the shopping bag towards him.

With a rustling sound, a white box emerged from inside.

It’s too small. It was too small. Jaekwon could only bring himself to open it after chugging more liquor. The ribbon was so soft and delicate, it felt as though it would be ruined by his large hands. Before opening the box, Jaekwon rubbed his face with his dry hands. His eyes were hot. It wasn’t because of the alcohol.

After pouring more liquor down his throat and wiping his mouth, he finally opened the box with reddened eyes.

“……”

The box itself fit neatly in his hand, but what was inside was smaller than his palm. Jaekwon carefully lifted it and placed it on his palm.

A very small and lovely sock.

‘Don’t be scared.’

He knew a child who had been so young that he couldn’t even tell if they were a girl or a boy.

What good did knowing do when he had forgotten for so long? In that time, that child had taken all his burdens and, without a single shred of resentment for the person who had completely forgotten him, had fallen in love again at first sight.

“Wisoo-ya…”

I thought I was faster than others, but when it comes to you, I just keep missing you….

❖ ❖ ❖

But Jaekwon was not one to let go just because he missed him.

On the day Jung Taegyu had taken Wisoo, one of the guys who had faced Jaekwon, the big guy who had been hit in the solar plexus, hesitantly entered the lobby. The late-night security guard, who was watching over the quiet lobby after business hours, confirmed his name and guided him to the executive elevator.

He arrived at Jaekwon’s office. The big guy, as if he had been here a few times already, didn’t hesitate and knocked on what looked like a wooden wall but was, in fact, a door.

“H-h-h-hello, sir!”

The moment the door opened, the big guy bowed at a ninety-degree angle and greeted him at the top of his lungs. Jaekwon, who was chewing gum, blew a bubble, popped it, and then jerked his head inside.

“Come in.”

Even though he was chewing bubble gum and not smoking a cigarette, there wasn’t a hint of frivolity or anything that would make one treat Kwak Jaekwon carelessly. The big guy sat down in a chair, his body completely tense. With his fists on his knees and his back straight, he looked just like a soldier.

“Sit comfortably. What can I get you? Coffee?”

Kwak Jaekwon asked. The big guy knew now. The version of Kwak Jaekwon he knew from their first meeting was him at his weakest, and the truly scary thing wasn’t when he swung his fists like back then, but when he acted politely like this.

“Ah, no, sir. It is fine.”

The memory was still vivid of the first time he was dragged before Kwak Jaekwon, when he had eaten all the coffee and snacks offered to him just like that, only to be beaten until he threw up everything he had consumed. The most terrifying part was that the places he was hit had precisely avoided vital spots but were extremely painful, and they wouldn’t show as long as he wore clothes. There wasn’t even a single fracture or internal injury; it was a method that solely damaged the muscles. If their group had been four people instead of eight when they first met, they probably wouldn’t have been able to subdue this man like they did back then.

“Then listen on an empty stomach.”

Kwak Jaekwon swept his hair back with a tired expression. He then sank into his chair, interlaced his fingers, and spoke.

“All the locations you pointed out were wrong. I went through a lot of trouble narrowing them down back then, but even all that hard work was for nothing. What should I do? You made me waste my time.”

“N-no, I am certain the holy place is there. I-I definitely heard it.”

“I don’t know if it’s a holy place or a holy screw or whatever the hell, I’m telling you it’s not there.”

“H-how did you find out, sir?”

“Yeah. My gut.”

That motherfucker… The big guy ducked his head low and swallowed his curses internally.

Jaekwon continued speaking with his eyes closed.

“You said you’re not part of their organization, just a day laborer.”

“Yes? Yes! W-well, to be precise.”

“Yeah. Be precise.”

“Yes…. To be precise, my hyung-nim hit the jackpot after buying land just as that Jung Taegyu guy said. He also made a decent amount from horse racing. After that, he became completely smitten with that guy, and he would send me and a few of my hyung-nims whenever Jung Taegyu needed us.”

“Right…. So six out of the eight were sent by your guy, and two were originally Jung Taegyu’s people. And you don’t know the names or contact information of those two. That’s what you said.”

“Yessir!”

“So I told you to find out. Did you?”

“……”

The big guy clamped his mouth shut. Jaekwon opened his eyes and straightened up. He then opened the second drawer, took out a blank business card, scribbled an address on it, and tossed it toward the big guy.

Jaekwon tilted his head at the big guy, who had snatched the fluttering card out of the air.

“Those two seem to be completely devoted to that place. They’ve abandoned all their friends, their families, and live without a single personal financial transaction. But it seems one of them met with his younger sister recently. Probably trying to lure her in. Go meet the younger sister.”

“Wh-when did you… H-how…”

“I’ll give you two days.”

Jaekwon muttered as he pressed his gum into the ashtray.

“But if you get it done in one day, I’ll let you go.”

The implication was that if it took more than a day, he might be offered coffee again and be beaten until he threw it all up.

❖ ❖ ❖

Instead of going home or to the office in that state, Gwak Jaekyeong headed to the bar he frequented. The master, who always greeted him warmly, lined up the bottles he had kept on reserve. The side dishes were brought out without him having to order them. He really liked the service where everything was prepared and served for him without him having to say a word, as if it made him someone special.

“Master. If this next movie does well, I’ll have the company dinner here. We’ll have to open up branches in Cheongdam and Nonhyeon, too.”

Gwak Jaekyeong bantered with slurred words, his split lip slathered with ointment. The wise master, who never pried into a customer’s personal affairs unless they brought it up first, played along.

“Oh my, that many? Am I going to be rich?”

“Yeah. You have to get rich. You have to make more, more money.”

He didn’t need any side dishes. Gwak Jaekyeong tilted back his drink while looking at the picture of Kwak Jaekwon’s scalp on his phone.

Drunk on his own self-importance, Gwak Jaekyeong drank every glass given to him, not realizing that the master was only serving him cocktails notorious for causing hangovers.

And when he was completely intoxicated, he once again headed to a place that was neither his home nor his office.

It was an old commercial building in a residential area. On the very top of the 5-story building, a sticker was so tattered that its name was barely legible. The first part was completely indecipherable, and the latter part, which was barely readable, said ‘Holy Place’.

Since Jung Taegyu had gone to his personal villa in Chungcheong Province, the atmosphere inside was more relaxed than usual.

“How’s Rapunzel!”

Gwak Jaekyeong asked in a drunken voice.

Rapunzel was a nickname he had given him. When he first thought of it, he had praised himself for being so witty. It was his way of teasing Seon Wisoo, saying he was just like Rapunzel, trapped in a tower waiting only for his stepmother.

At his words, four men who had been listlessly watching the CCTV monitor responded.

“He’s just the same as always.”

“He only sleeps.”

“He didn’t eat much today either.”

“I guess it’s because this bastard gave it to him, not the prince.”

The prince was Gwak Jaekyeong himself. Gwak Jaekyeong felt smug at the thought that he was the sole savior for Seon Wisoo, who to others was a sacred relic, a Buddhist painting, a male prostitute, a holy vessel. He took out his wallet, pulled out a wad of cash, and waved it.

“It’s all the same anyway. You must be bored, so order some raw fish or pig’s feet or something. You’re hungry, right?”

Soon, the four burly men waved their hands, going, “Wow!” Coincidentally, they were the same guys who had pinned down Kwak Jaekwon.

Gwak Jaekyeong considered showing these guys the humiliating picture of Kwak Jaekwon but decided against it. He didn’t want to waste it on something trivial when he had a real use for it.

Gwak Jaekyeong sneered at the men huddled together around a table that barely reached their knees, debating what to order.

‘So pathetic, really.’

He went into the office Jung Taegyu used and pushed a bookshelf filled with world encyclopedias, dictionaries, and the like. An elevator appeared. Gwak Jaekyeong, who had tapped a card against it, hummed as he pressed the button for the first basement floor.

“Rapunzel-ah.”

His steps were incredibly light as he headed toward Wisoo.

Gwak Jaekyeong, who was about to head straight for the most room-like area, stepped back with an “oops.” Wisoo was inside a slightly open, white padded room. It was a room where all four walls were covered with puffy white cushions, a perfect place to drive a person mad.

“What are you doing in there?”

He asked, hands in his pockets, standing crookedly as he just poked his head in.

At the sound, Wisoo’s head shot up.

Wisoo was sitting with his back to Gwak Jaekyeong. He had been conducting an experiment. This was the exact spot where Gwak Jaekyeong had told him to turn his back and drink before. He had been tormenting his own hand to test if it was truly a blind spot or if the guy watching was just lazy. He had been picking at it until it bled, getting it on the cushion, but no one had come down, so he was just starting to feel a flutter of “could it be?”

“Ah, nothing.”

But because of Gwak Jaekyeong’s sudden appearance, the experiment could not continue. Wisoo shuffled backward and wiped away what he had smeared with the sole of his foot.

“Hmph. Really?”

Gwak Jaekyeong staggered in. Wisoo could tell that Gwak Jaekyeong was drunk. The offensively sharp smell of alcohol was intense.

“D-did you drink?”

“Yeah. Something good happened.”

Gwak Jaekyeong flopped down without a second thought. It was a place with a round pillow and a beanbag of sorts so it could be used like a bed.

“Want me to show you, too?”

He asked, opening just one eye as if he was about to fall asleep.

Seon Wisoo knew that anything Gwak Jaekyeong would enjoy would be neither moral nor proper, so he didn’t want to see it, but because of what he had just done, he nodded so as not to get on his bad side. It’s better to humor a drunk person. That was something he had learned from Gwak Bonyoung.

“Alriiiighty then. I’ll show you.”

Gwak Jaekyeong chuckled and took his phone out of his pocket. Wisoo’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the phone. His own, of course, was nowhere to be found amidst the chaos of being dragged here. The Teacher had probably taken it, or it was still left at that house. He wished he could just hold it in his hand, even if the service didn’t work. He was desperate. If he could just hold it, he could at least look at pictures of Jaekwon…. His ankle bone, his Adam’s apple, his wrist bone.

“You asked me to show you, but now you’re spacing out? Are you ignoring me?”

“N-no.”

Wisoo crept closer and knelt beside Gwak Jaekyeong. Watching him, Gwak Jaekyeong’s gaze raked him up and down with a dark look before he wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him in sharply.

“Can you see from there?”

His hand moved past his neck and shoulder, unpleasantly stroking his back and waist. He wanted to bite his tongue, the feeling was so disgusting, but he endured it.

No, he had no choice but to endure it. Because what was on Gwak Jaekyeong’s phone screen was Kwak Jaekwon, kneeling.

“Agh, I should’ve taken a picture of his face. It’s hard to see.”

Even if his face wasn’t clearly visible, he could recognize him. He could recognize him just by seeing a part of his bone. Even if he met him as a skeleton… he could recognize him anywhere. Even if he couldn’t remember, he would fall in love at first sight every time. Wisoo’s eyes grew hot as if seared by fire. He had so many questions: why was he kneeling, and why of all people did Gwak Jaekyeong take that picture?

But Gwak Jaekyeong babbled on before Wisoo could even ask.

“What do you think? Is his scalp handsome too?”

“…Yes.”

“My scalp looks the same. I took this to show you. Aren’t you grateful?”

“Why… why is he like this?”

Gwak Jaekyeong fudged the truth, worried that Seon Wisoo might do something drastic if he knew that he had already released a product teaser.

“Ah, he was fucking wasted. I had the first round with him, too.”

Since they had exchanged drinks, it wasn’t a complete lie.

Wisoo bit his lip. I’ve never seen Mr. Kwak Jaekwon drunk…. They didn’t feed him something strange, did they? Even if he was drunk, is he the type of person to do this? Still, he’s doing okay, right? No, could it be that he’s been doing nothing but drinking lately because of me? Because of my mother….

The chain of questions was cut off by the screen being snatched away from his eyes. Gwak Jaekyeong, having put the phone in his pocket, surreptitiously groped Wisoo’s spine.

“The guys are busy eating right now.”

“Huh…?”

“There’s no bastard watching the camera. The Teacher went to his villa, too.”

Gwak Jaekyeong becomes foolish when he’s excited. Normally stupid, but intoxicated by alcohol and a premature sense of victory, his mouth was even looser and his brain more transparent.

“It means that even if we roll around and shoot a porno in here, there’s no one to see.”

“……”

“I don’t mind if they watch, though.”

His cackling voice was drenched in alcohol. His speech was also very slow. Wisoo licked his lips, noticing that the body trying to climb on top of him was quite sluggish.

“…If I play along, will you buy me what I want to eat next time, too?”

“Hmm. Switching sugar daddies just like that? You’re cheaper than I thought.”

“And you won’t… tell the Teacher about me either?”

Stupid bastard. Even if the primary sex is male, it’s not like the belly won’t show at all. How long does he think he can hide that? Gwak Jaekyeong smiled vilely and replied, “Suuuure.”

“Okay.”

So Wisoo reached out his hand.

It feels disgusting. Repulsive. I feel like I’m going to vomit. But he had to endure it. Wisoo thought of the machine that touched his head again and again, and endured and endured. It was a gamble, but he bet everything on it.

“Wow, you’re being proactive. Did Kwak Jaekwon teach you this, too?”

“……”

“Hnngh…”

Gwak Jaekyeong let out an excited breath and unbuckled his belt with a clank, clank. Wisoo’s hand, which had been fumbling over his groin, moved toward the unbuckled belt. Then it slipped inside his humid and warm underwear.

Ah, I really feel like I’m going to throw up.

Biting his tongue and suppressing his nausea, Wisoo moved his hand. As they entered autumn, Wisoo’s hands and feet had become very cold. For Gwak Jaekyeong, whose body was hot with alcohol, it was perfect.

“Hah…. Fuck, that feels good.”

Gwak Jaekyeong slowly thrust his hips. Wisoo repeatedly squeezed and released his hand, trying to make him cum.

“This isn’t the end of it, huff, okay?”

He was quick. Compared to Kwak Jaekwon, he was practically a premature ejaculator. But because of the alcohol, it was taking longer than usual.

Of course, Wisoo had no way of knowing that. He simply thought of Jaekwon and grimaced, wondering if he had to do this for 30 or 40 minutes.

Gwak Jaekyeong thrusted his hips hard.

Wisoo endured and endured. He tried to close his eyes and think of Kwak Jaekwon. Fortunately, Gwak Jaekyeong also couldn’t see anything straight, so he didn’t notice that Wisoo had his eyes closed and was thinking of someone else.

‘I can’t stop feeling that he’s not Mr. Kwak Jaekwon….’

Wisoo ignored the volume of the lump of flesh in his hand that kept reminding him of reality and rubbed the tip and the skin below the head. When he felt the not-fully-retracted foreskin, Gwak Jaekyeong’s body trembled violently.

“Heok, heok!”

Letting out a ragged breath, Gwak Jaekyeong came in Wisoo’s hand. Wisoo almost screamed but barely managed to hold it in.

“Ah, fuck…. I should’ve asked for a blowjob.”

His plan was to make him swallow at the end, but he lost it because he suddenly touched the tip and the foreskin. Gwak Jaekyeong cursed in annoyance and collapsed on top of Wisoo. Wisoo wanted to wipe what was on his hand immediately but couldn’t move an inch. It was because Gwak Jaekyeong’s wet breath in his ear sounded like he was about to fall asleep.

And after what felt like ten years but was probably about ten minutes, he heard a ragged yet even breathing sound. Wisoo shuddered and slipped out from under Gwak Jaekyeong. He didn’t wake up despite the somewhat careless movement, so it seemed he had fallen into a very deep, drunken sleep.

“Gwak Jaekyeong…”

Wisoo called him quietly. There was not even a twitch, let alone a response.

“Gwak Jaekyeong…. you son of a bitch.”

Wisoo tried spitting out the curse very awkwardly.

Still, instead of glaring, Gwak Jaekyeong only furrowed his brows.

With every puff of breath that came from between his slightly parted lips, the smell of alcohol was thick. Wisoo shot up and ran to the bathroom. He threw up what he had been holding back and scrubbed his hands raw. Goosebumps ran down his spine with every scrub.

Then he returned and stood there, looking down at Gwak Jaekyeong.

“……”

If he had his way, he would have hit him. But now that he looked, he was already a mess. Gwak Jaekyeong’s face, which hadn’t even registered because of his own excessive tension and the series of terrible events, had a swollen cheekbone, a split lip, and a cheek that was puffed up as if he’d had a wisdom tooth pulled. It was clearly a sign of being beaten. By whom? Could it be Mr. Kwak Jaekwon? If he was beaten by him, how could he be in such a good mood? And the picture of Mr. Kwak Jaekwon… what on earth…

His mind was in turmoil. Because of the tinnitus that had been ringing in his ears for some time now, Wisoo’s thoughts couldn’t become long and complex. Sleepiness washed over him like crazy, his head was foggy, and his memory was spotty. All he could think was, I want to get revenge on Gwak Jaekyeong…. I want to hit him. I want to hurt him as much as he’s made me suffer. But I don’t know how.

Wisoo could only think that far. Things like strangling him weren’t even options. Stupid Seon Wisoo. If Kwak Jaekwon could have looked inside his head, he would have let out a dry laugh. At that harmless and naive revenge.

But Wisoo decided to do something smarter than revenge. Thanks to Wisoo’s innate instinct to survive, his will, and the calluses that had formed from a world that had long abused him, Wisoo was able to recover and move immediately.

He carefully took out the phone that Gwak Jaekyeong was holding loosely in his hand. At one point, when he twitched his hand, his heart literally almost dropped.

‘He said they’re not watching the camera now.’

Wisoo repeatedly licked his dry lips.

The phone was locked. After trying all of Gwak Jaekyeong’s fingers without success, he held it up to his face and it unlocked with a click. His hands had become sweaty in that short time. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was about to jump out of his mouth.

Even if they weren’t watching the camera, he couldn’t be sure. Wisoo went to the corner where he had been picking at his hand just a moment ago and opened the message window. He typed in the number he had memorized from calling it so many times. Just doing that made tears well up in his eyes.

The first thing he sent was the last thing he remembered, the business name on the building. That tattered sticker that Gwak Jaekyeong couldn’t read anymore.

Cheongsu Holy Place bookshelf

Wisoo feels the urge to confess his love.

But he couldn’t bring himself to say such words. Because he was sorry. And he didn’t want to say something that the other person might not want to hear.

That was also why he mentioned the bookshelf and not the first basement floor where he was. The world encyclopedias and dictionaries lining the bookshelf were fake. If you turned them around, inside were everything from VCR-era videos to CDs, USBs, and watches. To catch the Teacher, those things would be far more helpful than he, who held no evidentiary power in the real world.

Wisoo really wanted to say he loved him, but he didn’t have the right to, so with trembling hands, he added just four characters. The completed message was this:

Cheongsu Holy Place bookshelf

I’m sorry

Thankfully, there were no typos this time.

Wisoo sent the message and deleted the sent history. This was what Jaekwon had told him to do if he needed to hide something after he had cloned his phone. Wisoo let out a small laugh as tears streamed down his face.

‘Why teach me how to hide things? What a strange person.’

A strange and kind… Mr. Kwak Jaekwon.

Wisoo wiped his tears with the back of his hand and went back to Gwak Jaekyeong, placing the phone back in his hand.

Then he unfastened almost all the buttons on Gwak Jaekyeong’s shirt and tie, left the unbuckled belt as it was, and, suppressing his disgust, wrapped the man’s arm around his own waist.

He curled up in that state and lay on his side. If by some chance the Teacher saw this, it would create an internal conflict with Gwak Jaekyeong. If he didn’t see….

Still, there was nothing to lose. His body was merely a vessel. A vessel has no emotions. A vessel has no heart. A vessel has no warmth.

I think of nothing.

Wisoo endured this time by recalling Jung Taegyu’s teachings.

I think of nothing…. except for you, Kwak Jaekwon.