Humanity Chapter 12.2 - Breakup

Even as he entered the intercity bus terminal after taking a taxi, and even as he waited for the bus in the crowded waiting room after buying his ticket, he often met such gazes.

Soon, Yimyeong deduced the most plausible reason.

Could it be the scent of an Omega?

That was the only thing he could suspect. It had been quite a while since he had stopped taking his suppressants because of Seolyoung, who kept nagging him about pregnancy. Thinking he should start taking them again once he got home, Yimyeong got up from his seat and left the waiting room. He headed to the restroom, went into a stall, and sat there until the bus departure time drew precariously close. Even to himself, his situation felt pathetic.

When it was finally time, Yimyeong boarded the bus and hurriedly looked for his seat. As he walked down the aisle, his eyes met with someone who was already seated. The person was startled to see Yimyeong and tapped the shoulder of the person sitting next to him.

‘That’s him, that guy.’

“Who? I didn’t see him.”

‘Shh!’

He could hear everything, even their whispers telling each other not to speak so loudly. Yimyeong pretended not to notice and sat down in his own seat. At the same time, he witnessed the person who had claimed not to have seen him poke his head up over the seat. As soon as their eyes met, the person ducked back down behind the seat.

Feeling intimidated by the successive events, Yimyeong sighed and looked out the window. The only thing he could do now was to pretend to be asleep.

“Excuse me. Please wake up….”

A while later, Yimyeong felt a hand gently waking him by his shoulder. He thought he had only closed his eyes for a moment, but he had slept soundly for several hours. Yimyeong quickly gathered his senses and looked around.

“We’re here. You need to get off here.”

Only Yimyeong and the woman who had spoken to him were left on the bus.

“Ah, thank you.”

“Um, but it is you, right? The….”

“…Yes?”

The woman shyly covered her mouth and spoke.

“I’m cheering for you. I thought you two looked really good together from the very beginning.”

“……?”

He could not grasp the context right away. For a moment, Yimyeong was at a loss for words and just said, “Thank you.” It was a reflexive response, though he did not even know what he was supposed to be thankful for. His brain, still groggy from sleep, turned sluggishly.

Yimyeong stood up from his seat and followed her off the bus. As he got off the bus and felt the outside breeze instead of the stuffy air, he suddenly came to his senses.

Yimyeong called out to the woman, who was about to leave.

“What do you mean, we look good together?”

Among all the people he had met today, the woman, who was the only one to glance at him with a gaze mixed with goodwill, opened her mouth, her eyes shining.

‧₊˚

‘You’re an Omega, aren’t you? Ah, I don’t mean that being an Omega suits you. I mean you look really good with athlete Kwon Seolyoung. I don’t have any prejudice about that. It’s the law of nature for an Alpha and an Omega to be together. Don’t pay any attention to the strange things people who don’t know any better say….’

Even though they had parted ways a while ago, the woman’s cheerful and bright voice did not leave his ears.

He remembered listening to her with a dumbfounded expression, but he could not remember how he got away from that spot.

As soon as he got into a taxi, Yimyeong searched for Kwon Seolyoung in a portal search bar. The articles that densely decorated the screen were all talking about his recent love life.

<Kwon Seolyoung, the Omega said to be his girlfriend… Shocking tip. A major twist for the Alpha man?>

National diving team member Kwon Seolyoung (24), who had publicly announced his relationship. The identity of his Omega lover has been revealed… Mr. A, a non-celebrity known to be a friend of Kwon Seolyoung and an Alpha, was a figure known to the public for his striking looks…

The person the article was pointing to was none other than himself.

With a pale face, Yimyeong clicked on another article. The other article, and yet another article… The most recent one was from 10 hours ago, and even that was late. The initial article had already been circulating for four days.

While he was spending precious time at home with Seolyoung, reluctant to be apart for even a moment before he entered the athletes’ village, this was what had been happening in the outside world.

With a trembling hand, Yimyeong gripped his phone tightly. So tightly that the knuckles of his hand turned white.

Soon after, Yimyeong arrived home, his face hardened frighteningly. After the initial shock passed, anger began to boil up inside him.

The articles all reported that they had obtained the news from an ‘anonymous source’. There was even one media outlet that proudly declared they would release the evidence submitted by the informant if Kwon Seolyoung’s agency released an article denying it.

In Yimyeong’s mind, there was only one person who would do such a despicable thing.

Han Jiwan.

‘Hyung. I see you’re pretending to be an Alpha these days.’

‘How long do you think people will believe that?’

‘I wonder how everyone will react when they find out you’re an Omega….’

From the moment he turned his back on him that day, he had perhaps anticipated that a day like this might come. He had anticipated it, but he had not imagined it would be like this. His blood ran cold every time he saw Seolyoung’s picture embedded in every article he checked.

From the very beginning, what he had feared most was Seolyoung getting hurt by being entangled in his affairs. People were not interested in whether a person named Lee Yimyeong was an Omega or an Alpha. The fact that all the articles were focused on Kwon Seolyoung proved it.

“Haa….”

Yimyeong slumped into a chair and wiped his face with his pale hands.

To release it timed with Seolyoung’s entry into the athletes’ village. Choosing a moment when he could not respond directly to the articles was just as cunning as Han Jiwan could be.

That bastard.

Yimyeong took a moment to catch his breath.

Anger is like a wave, anyway. Once the surge of emotion passes, it becomes bearable. And only after becoming sufficiently calm could he confront his opponent and fight properly.

Yimyeong unblocked a number on his phone that he had blocked a long time ago. It was the number that had sent him an invitation to an exhibition with the not-so-funny name of ＜Love＞.

Yimyeong unhesitatingly called that number.

The line rang exactly twice before the other person answered the phone.

—Hyung.

There was an unconcealable joy in the low, relaxed voice. Yimyeong asked curtly.

“It was you.”

—Hyung! There’s a limit to getting straight to the point. What are you talking about so suddenly?

Jiwan chuckled.

—Ah… are you talking about that article? I thought you called because you were curious if I still jerk off to you, hyung.

Yimyeong listened to his words without the slightest bit of agitation, then said coldly.

“You’d better be prepared. I’m thinking I should have killed you that day.”

—Looks like I’m completely the villain in your life now, hyung.

“Be grateful you even have a role. I could just have you exit the stage.”

At those words, Jiwan took a deep breath.

—Fuck, that’s so fucking chilling.

“…….”

—It’s ecstatic. Hyung….

The veins on Yimyeong’s hand, which was holding the phone, throbbed. However, if he fell for this kind of trick from Jiwan, the call would end with no gains.

Yimyeong, who knew Jiwan uncomfortably well, remained silent.

After cackling to himself for a while, Jiwan stopped laughing a moment later and said.

—Then, are you really going to come kill me?

“…….”

—I feel like even a guy like me could go to heaven if I died by your hand, hyung.

‧₊˚

He never thought he would come back here of his own accord.

Closing the taxi door and standing under the midday sun, Yimyeong frowned slightly. A strange, indescribable atmosphere emanated from the quiet art museum.

Yimyeong passed through the entrance and entered the lobby, where light poured in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. He was standing there, looking through the windows at the tall trees swaying slanted in one direction with the wind.

He heard footsteps from behind him.

“Hyung, we meet again like this.”

Yimyeong turned around with his arms crossed. Jiwan appeared from a shadowed area of the exhibition hall.

His smiling lips were the same as before, but his cheeks seemed gaunt. It was probably because he was doing that thing, drenched in drugs until all the moisture was sucked out of him.

Yimyeong sighed towards the ground and muttered.

“I gave you the wrong hint.”

“What hint?”

“That you made a threat that would work perfectly.”

“…….”

“I should have told you that such threats don’t work.”

At those words, Han Jiwan burst out laughing, as if in ridicule. He could not easily stop laughing, whatever was so funny. Yimyeong’s pupils narrowed at his shameless attitude.

“Haha… hyung, you’re really funny. Hold on, let me wipe my tears. Haa….”

“Funny?”

“I don’t know. I must find it funny since I’m laughing.”

Jiwan raised a finger and wiped the corner of his eye.

“Let’s just hurry up and do what we came to do.”

Yimyeong furrowed his brow at those words. He felt that their conversation had been discordant from the start. Laughing his head off when it was not even funny, and then suddenly saying there was something to do when they had not decided on doing anything.

“Come this way.”

With that, Jiwan headed towards the exhibition hall he had just come out of. Yimyeong did not follow him in, even after watching him go all the way inside. This was Han Jiwan’s space. In the past, he used to incapacitate Yimyeong with all sorts of vile methods, such as getting him drunk and raping him, cuffing his hands, or knocking him out by breaking a ceramic vase on his head. It was only natural to be wary that this too might be a trap he had set.

“What are you doing? Not coming in.”

From inside, Han Jiwan leaned his body out and stuck his head out.

“I’ve decorated everything inside.”

“…….”

“You don’t have to worry about a thing, hyung. I’ll make sure no evidence is left behind.”

Jiwan grinned and turned around.

With his hands in his pockets, Yimyeong slowly walked until he was standing directly in front of the exhibition hall entrance. The vast space visible inside the door was completely empty, with all the existing temporary walls removed.

Since when had the exhibition been stopped? Since he had stomped on the sculpture of ‘Love’ with his foot?

Only then did Yimyeong understand why a strange silence had hung over this art museum. The air smelled of dust that had settled in solitude. The aura of an abandoned house, where no one came and went, filled the entire unrealistic space that lacked any sense of life. It was as if the building itself were dying.

Jiwan, who had walked slowly to the center of the empty exhibition hall, stopped at a certain point.

“You’re just so, so rigid, hyung. Once your mind is made up, your thoughts don’t change easily. So your honesty and lack of trickery are your strengths, but I didn’t know your impression of people wouldn’t change either….”

“…….”

“Instead of getting you drunk, hyung, I should have acted like a plausible guy, even if it was pretense. The kind and perfect human being that you like.”

“…….”

“What’s the use of regretting it now? It’s already spilt water.”

With that, Jiwan spread his arms wide.

Yimyeong did not think he was saying those things out of genuine regret. And yet, Jiwan’s cry was somehow so desperate that he found himself listening intently without realizing it.

“Come here, hyung.”

“…….”

“Hurry! You promised you’d kill me.”

“…….”

“It’s no fun living when I can’t get hard for anyone but you. It’s better to die than to live as an impotent man. Don’t you think?”

It was a cheerful voice. A small shiver ran through Yimyeong’s entire body as he silently watched Jiwan’s show.

Was this what he meant by ‘what we came to do’?

To genuinely make me angry, and thus be murdered by me?

“I told you, there’s nothing to worry about. No evidence will be left that you killed me. When my body is found, everyone will think I committed suicide.”

“…….”

“My final exhibit will be my own corpse. It’s a good idea, isn’t it?”

Yimyeong groaned silently.

Crazy bastard.

“Hurry… come here. There’s no trick. I promise. Shouldn’t I be truthful at least once? That way, after you kill me, you’ll realize, hyung. Ah, Han Jiwan’s love for me was sincere. I think I’d have no regrets then.”

Finding it too painful to listen any longer, Yimyeong turned his back. The thought that he was being deluded crossed his mind. At the same time, a part of him thought that if that was his true intention, then Han Jiwan’s life was also a little pitiful.

Don’t be fooled.

Think about how that bastard has twisted my life.

“Hyung! Where are you going?”

Ignoring the voice that tried to hold him back, Yimyeong crossed the lobby without hesitation and left the art museum. He stepped out into the outdoors where the scorching early summer sun was beating down, looked around, and began to walk aimlessly.

“Hyung!”

It was then. A taxi sped past Yimyeong. A tall man burst out of the taxi that had screeched to a halt between Yimyeong and the art museum.

A white jersey tracksuit pulled up to his neck, the Team Korea mark emblazoned on his back.

Yimyeong’s eyes widened.

“Kwon Seolyoung…!”

Before he had time to think about why he was here or how he knew to come, Seolyoung headed towards Jiwan. Thwack! With a well-aimed punch, Jiwan staggered and took several steps back. Seolyoung raised his fist again. Yimyeong bit his lower lip hard and wedged himself between them.

“Kwon Seolyoung!”

Yimyeong’s and Seolyoung’s eyes met as Yimyeong shielded Jiwan. Seolyoung’s eyes were trembling endlessly. His anxiety, anger, and impatience, along with the fierce aura of an Alpha, instantly overwhelmed Yimyeong.

“Get a grip. Seolyoung-ah. Nothing happened. It’s nothing.”

Anger is like a wave. If he could just get through this one surge, Seolyoung would also calm down. With that thought, Yimyeong spoke calmly to Seolyoung. However, it seemed to have no effect at all.

“Myeong-ah, why are you… shielding that bastard?”

Seolyoung’s voice was abnormally low. That’s because you intended to kill him and he didn’t. Isn’t that obvious? However, now was not the time to argue about such things.

Yimyeong swallowed the words he wanted to say and stepped closer to Seolyoung. Up close, something was noticeable. It was the heat rash rising from his neck and behind his ears. Yimyeong’s heart sank as soon as he saw the heat rash that had covered his body during his rut.

“Seolyoung-ah. Let’s just go. It’s all over.”

“What is there to talk about with another Alpha when I’m not around?”

“It was something that happened because of me, so I was trying to handle it. You don’t trust me? Nothing happened.”

“I told you, it’s not that I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the other bastards!”

“Then what do you want me to do! You got swept up in this because of me. If you had just not met me….”

“Kekeuk….”

At that moment, he heard Jiwan’s stifled laughter from behind. Yimyeong slowly turned his head and glared at Jiwan. He was really not helping at all in this volatile situation.

“Look at that. I knew that bastard wasn’t normal… Hyung, what are you going to do? You have such bad taste in men.”

“Shut up.”

Despite Yimyeong’s low warning, Jiwan did not shut his mouth.

“No, it’s just so funny. Completely fooled, and what? You’re sorry for getting him swept up in this? Hahaha!”

“I said, shut up….”

However, Yimyeong could not continue speaking after what Han Jiwan said next.

“Do you know who released the article about you being an Omega, hyung? It was that bastard. Your boyfriend, who you believe to be so kind, Mr. Kwon Seolyoung.”

“…….”

“To think that the one I ran away from to escape him is the same kind of bastard as me, fuck. How can I not feel wronged by this?”

‧₊˚

It was a complete mess. Jiwan clung to Yimyeong, begging to be killed, and provoked Seolyoung, and Seolyoung, who could not bear to watch, lost his mind and was about to really kill Jiwan. In the midst of the chaos, Yimyeong grabbed onto Seolyoung’s body with all his strength and barely managed to pull him away. The journey down, forcibly dragging him who would not budge as if rooted to the ground, was incredibly slow.

By the time they had somehow made it down to a place where the art museum was no longer visible, Yimyeong’s whole body was drenched in sweat, to the point that the inside of his shirt was clammy.

“Heok, haa… haa.”

Yimyeong gasped for breath and wiped the sweat from between his forehead and hairline with the back of his hand. Seolyoung, whose momentum had subsided, was sitting with his head bowed against a wall in a residential area. Looking at him, Yimyeong thought to himself. He must not be swayed by the words that Han Jiwan had used to delude him with his glib tongue.

That Seolyoung was the one who tipped off the press. He wanted to believe it was not possible.

Seolyoung was not the kind of person to do something like that.

“It’s not true, right?”

“…….”

“There’s no reason for you to….”

“I’m sorry.”

A short phrase flowed from Seolyoung’s lowered face.

At his ready admission, Yimyeong squeezed his eyes shut with a dreadful feeling. The eyelids he slowly pushed open again trembled.

“…Why did you do it?”

“…….”

“I told you we had to be careful. But why did you….”

Yimyeong could not finish his sentence and hung his head.

“I did it because I was anxious.”

“…….”

“I hate that people covet you. Even a guy like Han Jiwan, who knows you’re my mate, keeps targeting you at every turn. I was so anxious about leaving you alone and going to the athletes’ village that I was going crazy, so….”

“…Do you even know what you paid for that?”

At those words, Seolyoung slowly lifted his eyes.

“I don’t care. You are more valuable than anything I paid.”

Seolyoung’s eyes, which had been tinged with melancholy, shone bizarrely for a moment. Yimyeong swallowed dryly without realizing it.

“Myeong-ah. Now everyone in the world knows.”

“…Knows what?”

“That you’re mine.”

Unless he was mistaken, a faint sense of satisfaction flickered in Seolyoung’s eyes.

Yimyeong squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. The sense of betrayal and frustration that had been stirring at his feet had now risen to the tip of his throat. Despair washed over him slowly like a rising tide, soaking every blood vessel in his body. Yimyeong tried hard not to resent Seolyoung and raised his eyes once more.

“I tried hard enough, too. I know what kind of life you want, Myeong. I wanted to make you happy, too. I’ll grant you whatever you want in the future, too. So can’t I… be just a little bit greedy?”

Yimyeong spoke with trembling lips.

“What I wanted was just a minimal, human life.”

“I know.”

“…….”

“A normal person who can walk down the street without suppressants is the human life you want.”

There was an edge to Seolyoung’s words. Yimyeong clenched his fists tightly without realizing it.

“Right, even though you knew that….”

Resentment burst out.

“Even though you knew everything… what I wanted….”

Yimyeong said, panting slightly. As he spoke, he gradually began to get confused.

What did I really want? Was it to hide being an Omega and live like a normal person? Or was it to have Seolyoung’s child and see his happy face?

What kind of person was I before I knew I was an Omega?

“Kwon Seolyoung, how could you do that?”

He could not remember if Seolyoung’s expression had always been like this. The boy with the clear face and kind eyes whom he had loved was nowhere to be found. Only a man with heat rash here and there on his skin and pitch-black eyes tinged with darkness was looking at him.

“Myeong-ah. Why are you crying?”

“…Ugh….”

Seolyoung came closer, trying to meet his eyes. Yimyeong turned his head to avoid his gaze and swallowed his tears.

“Okay. I understand that the article was sudden for you. But think about it carefully. We have to live our whole lives fighting against prejudice anyway. That’s what it means to be the first generation. It might be unfortunate for the times, but I gained the good fortune of you. So I thought it was okay. It might be unfamiliar now, but people will understand as time passes.”

“…Let go of me.”

“I don’t know why you’re being like this. You were mine from the beginning anyway. Was I the only one who thought that? Why are you still denying that you’re an Omega?”

Yimyeong shook off Seolyoung’s hand as he tried to grab his. Seolyoung flinched and then tried to embrace him. Before being forcefully pulled into his arms, Yimyeong pushed against Seolyoung’s chest.

“…Right. I must be foolish and stubborn, dreaming of something absurd. But do you know what? Before I was fifteen, I was a normal human being too.”

Every time he stepped back, Seolyoung kept coming closer. Yimyeong gestured for him to come no further and shook his head.

“Seolyoung-ah. No matter how I think about it, I can’t meet the standards you want.”

“What are you talking about? I’ve never set any standards for you.”

Looking at him trying to appease him somehow, Yimyeong spoke with difficulty.

“You want me to get pregnant with your child.”

“That’s a given! Any Alpha, any man would. Can’t I even wish for it? If you say even that is not allowed, what’s the difference between me and Han Jiwan?”

Seolyoung’s words cut deep. Yimyeong lowered his head and muttered.

“So, because I’m a defective product who can’t even accept that I’m an Omega….”

“That’s okay. Myeong-ah…. Look me in the eyes and talk to me.”

Seolyoung seemed to have sensed that something was going wrong upon seeing Yimyeong’s negative reaction.

“Just imagining being pregnant makes me nauseous. The thought of something being inside this stomach is horrifying… While you were swelling with happiness in anticipation of the pregnancy, I was having nightmares every night.”

Seolyoung’s face turned pale as he listened to Yimyeong’s calm words. Looking at his whitened face, Yimyeong muttered bitterly.

“Right. I couldn’t say it until now because I was afraid of this kind of reaction.”

“…Myeong-ah.”

“Do you think this kind of me can give you a child? Even if it succeeds, it won’t be a success. That’s no different from a failure. I will ruin everything.”

Seolyoung shook his head several times.

“No. It’s okay if you can’t get pregnant. Myeong-ah. It was all my fault. I didn’t know you were thinking that….”

“…….”

“I don’t like what you don’t want to do either. Really. I won’t force you. Not anymore….”

Could there be such a stunning contradiction?

Those kind eyes, which began to shed tears drop by drop, showed that everything he was saying right now was the truth. But it was also true that he wanted a child, and that he wanted to show off his possessiveness to the whole world, declaring that this Omega was his. When he was with him, Seolyoung would probably have to fight within this contradiction for the rest of his life.

Yimyeong rubbed his weary eyes.

His own wish and Seolyoung’s wish, the two could not coexist. In this case, one of them would have to live a life of sacrifice.

Only then did Yimyeong realize the reason for his long-standing insomnia.

“Seolyoung-ah, you have many opportunities.”

“What are you talking about, Myeong-ah.”

“…You can live your life doing everything you want to do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Seolyoung did not even blink. Both his cheeks were already drenched with tears. The moment he saw that, Yimyeong felt a sharp pain as if his heart was being torn apart.

“If the one you liked wasn’t me, you wouldn’t have had to cry like this.”

“…….”

“Of all people, to meet a slut, a rag, a defective product.”

Seolyoung had a dazed expression, as if he had been hit on the back of the head with a blunt object.

“I can’t give you what you want. Pathetically, I like you too much, so I’ll probably live my whole life blaming myself for not being able to make you happy.”

“…Myeong-ah.”

“Once love cools, you too will be disappointed someday. So….”

“Why do you think I’ll be disappointed? I will never be disappointed in you! Even if we only try a thousand, ten thousand times until we die and never get pregnant, I don’t care.”

“…….”

“Huh? Myeong-ah, Myeong-ah….”

When Yimyeong did not answer, he lowered his head and sobbed.

“It really doesn’t matter if we don’t get pregnant.”

“I told you I would love you no matter what you were like. Huh?”

Yimyeong placed a hand on his shoulder, which was heaving greatly with his sobs.

“I think it would be good for us to take some time.”

“I don’t want to, I….”

“We need time apart to cool our heads. If you also calm down a bit and think carefully… then you’ll see reality. You’re a rational enough guy, aren’t you?”

Seolyoung finally lifted his head and met his eyes. His tear-soaked eyes trembled endlessly. The sight of him, with heat rash all over his body, yearning for love was so very pitiful, that it was the truth….

Forcibly suppressing his deep love, Yimyeong difficultly caressed his wet cheek.

“We have to be apart for a while anyway, right?”

“Then retirem….”

“Don’t even talk about things like retirement.”

Thick teardrops fell from the eyes of Seolyoung, who was at a loss for words. Yimyeong looked up at the sky once and let out a long sigh.

“Do your best with your training.”