World Chapter 4.3

“Let’s go, let’s go, it’s late today, so let’s leave them to the police for now. Throw those bastards in a cell! Rotten bastards. Let’s talk again tomorrow. Good work!”

After pushing the reluctant man away, Hanse came over to me. He took the bag from my shoulder as if snatching it.

It suddenly became awkward. I fidgeted, stroking the wound on the back of my hand. I could feel Hanse’s eyes on my hand.

He walked to his car without a word. I followed him. Hanse tossed my luggage onto the seat. Hyungjo’s notebook was in the bag.

I got in the car and sat there blankly. It was only after a while that I realized the car wasn’t moving and turned my head.

Hanse was gripping the steering wheel, staring intently at me. I shifted my gaze around for a moment before asking.

“What?”

“……”

“Go on, if you’re going……. If not, I’ll just get out.”

As I made a show of unbuckling my seatbelt, Hanse finally spoke.

“Are you going to keep talking to me so informally?”

“It’s my business.”

“It’s bad enough that you had that kind of relationship with my father, but a little college kid calling me ‘hey,’ ‘you,’ what? Kim Hyungjo’s son? Idiot? Do you really want to die?”

“What, are you going to shoot me to death?”

The guy who goes around dropping his gun… I pouted my lips as if scolding him.

Hanse wiped the blood from his forehead with his sleeve.

I want to wipe it for him. It was as if blood was flowing on Hyungjo’s face, and I wanted to carefully bandage the wound. I wanted to ask if it hurt, and if he said it did, I wanted to blow on it gently. I looked at Hanse with those eyes.

Hanse just rubbed his forehead as if annoyed by the streak of blood obstructing his vision and said.

“I can understand the short speech, but isn’t ‘hey,’ and ‘you’ a bit much? On top of that, what? Kim Hyungjo’s son? Are you crazy?”

Hanse is not Hyungjo. As if reaffirming in my mind that he was not Hyungjo, I replied coldly.

“Then what should I call Kim Hyungjo’s son if not Kim Hyungjo’s son. Aren’t you Kim Hyungjo’s son?”

“I am indeed the son of the man named Kim Hyung-jo. And that son has a name. It’s Kim Hanse.”

“I didn’t ask for Kim Hyungjo’s son’s name.”

“Do you really want to die?”

He asked, turning to me with a smile, noticeably drawing out the end of the word ‘want?’.

“…Then should I call you Prosecutor-nim?”

“I’m not asking for as much as Prosecutor-nim.”

“Then what should I call you?”

I asked in an annoyed tone. Hanse started the engine without replying, as if to say let’s just drop it. As we pulled out of the noisy street, he kept honking the horn aggressively.

The noise of the city is truly hard to bear. They were ghosts, but I missed the quiet they provided. It was similar to the tranquility felt at first dawn. The cool, serene stillness was so delicate that you could read the sounds with your eyes.

Once we got onto a main road and driving was no longer impeded, Hanse asked again.

“Where do you live? You said you were living with a relative.”

“Just drop me off at any subway station.”

“The subway has stopped running by now, you idiot.”

“……”

A time when even the subway has stopped. Is it comforting because it’s night? People spill out onto the streets wearing masks. As if to enjoy a feast in the comfort that night provides.

Staring blankly at the pedestrians pouring onto the street, I thought about emptiness.

Hanse asked again where my home was, and I was about to give him my aunt’s address but stopped. It was too late. If I went in now, I would have to wake them both up, and if I got home too late, my uncle would frown and just look for an excuse to lecture me. I didn’t want nagging, lectures, or affectionless attention. It seemed I would have to just sleep at a jjimjilbang today.

“Just drop me off anywhere.”

“I asked where your home is. You think I can’t find out something like that just because you won’t tell me?”

“I don’t want to go home! Just drop me off anywhere!”

I much preferred living with those ghosts to living with living people.

Damn it…….

My body and mind both felt miserable. As I hunched my shoulders and lowered my head, Hanse said nothing and just drove. The chaotic cityscape receded quickly outside the car window.

I must have dozed off while vacantly staring at the monotonous scenery unfolding outside the window.

Hanse shook my shoulder to wake me.

“Ah…”

I sat up, rubbing my sleepy eyes. Hanse got out of the car and took out my bag, which he had thrown in the back seat.

Still not fully awake, I stumbled out of the car. Looking around, only a dark building came into view.

Hanse walked without a word. I thought I might lose sight of his back in the darkness. I hurried to follow him. It looked like an office building. The complete lack of any human presence made it feel even more deserted.

Hanse turned on the light. With a sparking sound, the lights came on. Since my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, the light felt like it was striking my head with a jjeong.

“Well, it might look like this, but I use it as a home anyway, so just crash anywhere. I need to get some sleep.”

The interior, a converted warehouse, was cluttered with messy furniture piled here and there. There was a bed where Hanse lay down, and on one side, a sink, a gas stove, and a small refrigerator.

Tossing his jacket off anywhere, Hanse didn’t even wash up. As soon as he flopped onto the bed, he tossed and turned a little, then fell right asleep.

I stood there blankly, looking down at him sleeping. A long sofa was placed in front of my feet. I put down my bag and looked around the place.

Seeing him live like this when he had a perfectly good home, Kim Hyungjo’s son seemed like a considerably rebellious person.

His son, with Hyungjo’s face.

Recalling Hyungjo, who was always neat and tidy, his son’s state seemed like a rebellion against his polar-opposite father.

Still, Hanse’s place had a decent-looking bathroom.

I rummaged through Hanse’s closet, pulled out something to wear, and washed up. After rolling around in a place like a sewer, my whole body was itchy.

When I came out after my shower, Hanse was still fast asleep in the same position he had lain down in. Wiping my wet hair with a towel, I sat by the bedside and looked down at him.

It’s Hyungjo’s face. Hyungjo, whom I loved. Hyungjo, whom I love. And Hyungjo, who died.

My heart grows heavy. I cautiously touched his cheek. As I touched a cut, his eyes twitched as if it stung even in his sleep.

“……”

It was too sudden. Too fast. Too short. I wasn’t prepared to let you go at all. Please come back. Please meet me again in my dreams.

My eyes grew hot with longing.

I got up from the bed and lay down on the sofa. I couldn’t stretch out both my legs, but if I curled up, it seemed I could sleep somewhat comfortably.

I pulled a blanket over myself. It smelled of Hanse’s heavy cologne. It was a different scent from Hyungjo’s neat one.

Lying there, staring into the dark void, I got back up, rummaged through my bag, and took out Hyungjo’s notebook. I fell asleep reading his diary over and over again. Holding the notebook tightly to my chest.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Get up, you punk.”

“……”

“I said, get up.”

I tossed and turned at the noisy sound.

“Not getting up?”

It was Hyungjo’s voice, no, the voice of Hyungjo’s son.

I was too tired to get up. I curled my body up, searching for a cozier spot.

Clomp, clomp. The sound of footsteps approached. At the sound of him coming to wake me, I curled up even more.

It felt like he should be yelling at me to get up, but there was no sign of it. I was half-awake but feigned sleep, playing dumb.

How long had I held out? Suddenly, a hand shot out and tried to pull Hyungjo’s notebook, which I was clutching to my chest. Startled, I sat up with a jolt. I slapped Hanse’s hand away and snatched back the notebook I had almost lost.

“No!”

“Easy to wake you up, huh?”

Hanse said with a smirk. It seemed it was just a way to wake me up, as his hand dropped from the notebook without any lingering attachment.

Perhaps he had just gotten out of the shower, as Hanse’s hair was damp, dripping water droplets. The red scratches on his pale, washed face looked even more vivid.

“I have to go to work, so hurry and get ready. I’ll drop you off on my way out.”