World Chapter 6.3

Just as Hyungjo and Heo Seok had leaped across an eternity of time, I too was leaping across that time.

In an instant, like being soaked by a downpour, it drenched me.

I collapsed onto a bench shrouded in darkness.

It’s not right. That kind of thing……, that kind of thing……, it’s wrong.

I needed to cry, but no tears would come out. I wanted to cry, I wanted to wail, but it was as if my tear ducts had dried up; nothing came out.

Instead of tears, only the cold rain streamed down, soaking my cheeks. Perhaps I was subconsciously holding back my tears. For the first time in my life, I was facing a problem that crying couldn’t solve.

I sat on the bench until my body, shivering from the cold, grew stiff. My limbs trembled uncontrollably. Cradling my shaking arms and legs, I went into the dormitory. With every step, a trail of water stretched down the hallway.

The door to the dorm room was slightly ajar. I instinctively thought of Hanse.

Inside my room, he would be there, a worried look on his face.

I opened the door. As expected, as soon as I opened it, I saw Hanse perched on the desk.

“What happened to you? Your phone was off, do you want to die, seriously? What the hell is wrong with you……”

Hanse, who had once hit me to snap me out of it, had shown up again like this, worried about me.

My chest ached with a stuffy pain. At the same time, it grew warm. Just as I had with Hyungjo, I wanted to run to Hanse and throw my arms around his neck.

But…….

“What’s wrong?”

Hanse approached me, completely soaked. Each time he came closer, I turned my body away to avoid him.

I asked in a drenched voice.

“How did you get in here?”

“Did something happen? Where have you been to end up in this state?”

I had become a nuisance to Hanse again. When I avoided his gaze, Hanse snapped, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. Hanse stared in bewilderment at my turbid, wavering eyes.

“Did something really happen to you? Why won’t you say anything and drive me crazy?!”

“It’s nothing.”

I roughly shook off Hanse’s hands. It felt like something was about to shoot out of my eyes. Ignoring his glare, which felt like laser beams, I grabbed a towel and started drying my wet hair. As I briskly dried my hair, I peeked over at Hanse.

A crooked necktie, a shirt untucked at the back, the look of someone who had rushed over while busy at work.

Just looking at him made my heart ache. At some point, Hanse had started to make my heart ache just as much as Hyungjo did.

“Where were you?”

“At my part-time job.”

“Is this any time for you to be doing that?”

“I’m going to do as I please, from now on I……”

I was about to carelessly blurt out the words I had been suppressing, but I hurriedly shut my mouth.

Lee Taewan had called me. There must be a reason why the vengeful spirits chose me.

I swallowed and slowly opened my mouth.

“From now on, I’m going to forget Kim Hyungjo, no, Professor Kim.”

“……”

“I’m going to put it all behind me. So, you shouldn’t come here like this either, hyung.”

“What are you going to do about Assemblyman Heo? He won’t leave you alone.”

“That’s not for you to worry about.”

“……”

I thought I would feel more at ease if Hanse’s expression crumbled. His stiff, emotionless face was hard to bear. Since things had come to this, I even wished for a crack to appear on Hanse’s hardened face, for it to shatter.

“Please stop investigating Assemblyman Heo as well. I was talking nonsense. Please forget everything related to me, Prosecutor Kim Hanse.”

“……”

“I apologize for being rude until now.”

I said, bowing my head deeply. It was true that I had been rude to him.

This is impossible.

A silence of unbearable weight continued to press down on my head. For a long while, I remained with my head bowed like that.

In my downcast line of sight, I saw Hanse leaving the room. Even after he left my room, slamming the door shut with a bang, I kept my head bowed as if I were about to drive it into the floor.

I couldn’t bring myself to burn Hyungjo’s notes, so I put them in the deepest part of my closet. Under the pillow was too close. It was a memory I had to forget. A memory I had to throw away, even by force. I couldn’t keep something that reminded me of him nearby. Reminiscing, ruminating on memories, was a foolish thing to do.

I genuinely liked Hyungjo. I genuinely loved him. For a while, what had dominated my consciousness and kept me alive and moving was my heart for him.

But he was dead. The fact that I had never once held his real self, that I had never once confessed my love. Putting things like that aside, he was already no longer of this world, so I had to forget him. Just as Hanse said, confusing dreams with reality was just as foolish as ruminating on memories.

What kind of expression did Hanse have on his face as he looked at me that day?

It was more than obvious that the wound I had inflicted on him would one day return to me as a sharpened blade.

∞ ∞ ∞

Time flew by like an arrow released from a bow. The semester ended, and the break began.

I didn’t go back to my family home; instead, I worked part-time at Heo Seok’s office all summer. Heo Seok traveled abroad on business to avoid the hot season. I could see his European tour and its achievements every day through portal sites and the news. Kim Youngil also left with him, so I didn’t see him all summer.

And so autumn arrived, and Heo Seok returned to the country in time for the opening of the regular session of the National Assembly.

Even after his return, Heo Seok’s schedule was so packed that I couldn’t see his face even once, and I myself was so busy that I lived without knowing how the days passed. This kind of work suited my disposition more than I thought, and it was even fun.

The fear of seeing Hyungjo or Hanse in my dreams as I fell asleep was fleeting. I was so busy with work that I didn’t even have time to think about them. I, who had once been averse to the city, was so grateful for its heartlessness that I quickly began to forget Hanse and Hyungjo. The cold nature of the city naturally covered up the sorrow I felt through them. Even if it was a gloomy, ash-gray color, it was bearable because it was covered.

The venomous heat of summer subsided, and the break ended. After the new semester started, I couldn’t go to my part-time job at Heo Seok’s office for a while.

The office of Assemblyman Heo, the floor leader of the opposition party, was an extremely busy place.

Two legislative aides, two Grade 5 secretaries, one secretary each for Grades 6, 7, 8, and 9, and including the paid interns, the number exceeded ten, and with the general staff assisting them, it was over twenty people.

It wasn’t that the office wouldn’t run if I was gone for a few days, but worried that the report summaries, which I had at least managed to submit on time, would be delayed, I hastily finished my assignments and rushed to the office.

Most of the part-time workers were university students, and we divided the work among us. I was in charge of organizing related materials and submitting reports.

When I went in after a few days, I found that quite a bit of work had piled up. I was busy processing it when Heo Seok came to the office for the first time in a long while.

Heo Seok was in a much higher place than I had anticipated, a place I couldn’t dare approach. I couldn’t even properly greet him. I hugged the work to myself again and let out a low sigh. The sense of duty entrusted to me weighed heavily on my shoulders.

No matter how much I thought about it, there was only one way.

To become like Heo Seok.

To become Heo Seok and understand who Heo Seok is, what he is thinking, what plans he has; to become him and think and judge in the exact same way was the only method I had.

I tried to become Heo Seok.

I worked frantically for a while longer. The students who worked part-time here were mostly those who aimed to become politicians.

I, who didn’t know the first thing about politics and had no interest in it, was naturally excluded from their group, and I was a loner not only at school but also at work.

The fact that I was a loner was comfortable for me in an ominous way. I shouldn’t have felt that way, but it was comfortable.

Having lived in this city for less than a year, I had no affection for it, so there was no affection to leave behind.

As I worked, branching off into other thoughts amidst the cracks of various other thoughts, I realized that everyone around me had already gone home.

I stopped working and leaned against the window. Looking at the city’s nightscape beyond the quiet office window was the best part of my day.

Looking down at the city sinking into darkness, my mind would go blank and relax. I felt the world, slowly being colored by the comfort that darkness provides, was beautiful. Watching the night view, I realized that darkness, which covers all sorts of ugliness, was scarier than I thought.

“Jung Hyunwoo?”

I wasn’t surprised. I could already see Heo Seok’s reflection walking towards me in the windowpane. I just pretended not to know and kept looking out the window. I didn’t want my favorite part of the day to be ruined by someone.

I slowly turned my head to face him.

The man who held the political world of our country in the palm of his hand was standing before me.

I bowed my head slightly in greeting.

“Hm, have you been working all this time? I heard from Secretary Kim. He said you’re working hard?”

“I’m just in the process of learning. Haven’t you left yet?”

“There’s a pile of documents I need to approve.”

When I shifted my gaze, his executive secretary, Kim Youngil, was also standing at a distance. Standing unobtrusively within a close range where he was never a bother, Kim Youngil was a top-class secretary in every single one of his mannerisms.

Seeing Heo Seok didn’t surprise or make me nervous like before. It seemed I had become a city mouse now.

Just as Taewan intended, I was ready to be sliced up. Just as he had abandoned Ji Sungjoon and thrown his own body into the flames of the democratization movement, I too was prepared to throw myself into the fire for Hanse and his father, Hyungjo.

“I’m about to leave now, are you still far from finished?”

“Yes. I’m not done yet. Please go ahead.”

“Don’t say that, let’s leave together. How about we have dinner together?”

When I was a country mouse who knew nothing of the world, I didn’t realize what an honor it was to sit and eat with Heo Seok.

Heo Seok was just Heo Seok to me. But now, I couldn’t even dare to guess what a big deal it was. At some point, he stopped looking like just Heo Seok to me. He was the most likely candidate for the next presidency, a leader of the opposition party, and a member of the family that owned the Daehan Group.

“It’s alright. Please get home safely.”

“……Did something happen to you? You seem to have changed a bit.”

“……”

His sharp gaze, as if it could see through objects, felt like it was scratching at the space between my eyebrows.

What could have happened…….

Putting Kim Hyungjo behind me was one of the biggest things that had happened recently. A sharp, angular part of my heart must have been cut away, leaving it bare. If it wasn’t cut away, it must have been worn bare by the weathering of longing and time.

And…….

I looked at the face of the man in power.

“Don’t say that, let’s go together. It’s been a while since we’ve met, and I have things to talk about.”

“……”

As he said that, Heo Seok lightly patted my back as if to console me. The patting hand slid down the nape of my neck.

A shiver ran down my spine, giving me goosebumps. Heo Seok, having read my hesitation, gently urged me again, repeatedly inviting me to dinner. It was to the point where it would be awkward to refuse. I roughly organized the documents and followed him out.

As I left with Heo Seok, I glanced back at Kim Youngil. It was only for a moment, but our eyes met. It had been a long time for him as well. Since he’d been abroad for two whole months.

I acted as if I didn’t know him and turned my gaze away.

Since we were accompanied by his executive secretary and bodyguards, two cars had to move for what was just a simple dinner.

The thought that several people were going through trouble because of me somehow turned into a sense of superiority. Among all the university students in our country, I was probably the only one having dinner with Heo Seok.

“How’s the work? Isn’t it very difficult?”

“No, it’s interesting.”

“Haha, I hear you’re compiling statistics for the parliamentary audit data? It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

“Yes. By looking at the submitted data, I’m indirectly learning about the various ways the world works.”

“My, my……, what a commendable thing to say. So, what have you learned?”

“Since my family home is in the countryside, I was most interested in the problems of farmers. The trade agreements have changed, and you know how farming is. There are so many variables happening at once. In comparison, I think legislation is enacted too slowly. It’s always one step behind, so there are no effective laws, and dissatisfaction just builds up.”

“It’s a struggle for everyone to pass a single law. You can’t meet the demands of every field, and it’s hard to embrace the opposition party, the ruling party, and the minor parties all at once.”

“How was your European tour?”

There were rumors that his European tour was a greeting from the next president.

“Work is the same. Being abroad, sleeping is uncomfortable, and the food doesn’t suit my palate, so eating is uncomfortable……”

Heo Seok looked at my face intently. I lowered my gaze, but only after our eyes had already met.

“Thank you for working so hard. And the fact that you find the work interesting, I’m grateful for that too.”

“Not at all. I’m thankful that you’ve given me a good opportunity.”

“Opportunity? Why, do you want to try getting into politics?”

“……If I get the chance.”

“Haha, I wonder if I’m raising a tiger cub here.”

Heo Seok and I laughed.

Superiority, arrogance, desire for power.

A person could laugh because of things like these too. I realized, with a twisted smile, that some part of me had truly changed.

The place Heo Seok and I arrived at was a traditional restaurant built in a hanok style. I had vaguely expected it, as Heo Seok was fond of traditional Korean set meals.

I followed him inside. The staff rushed out in a group to welcome us.

Heo Seok waved his hand and showed his disapproval, saying, “You’re making such a fuss,” but his eyes were smiling, and he was enjoying the situation where he was being treated with such reverence.

As I quietly followed behind him, people glanced at me. It seemed they thought I was Heo Seok’s son.

This kind of thing is more dangerous than I thought…….

The looks of admiration made me feel smug. As if I had become someone important, my head lifted slightly.

We were guided to the quietest and most spacious room in the restaurant. Heo Seok and I sat facing each other.

“It’s a quiet place with clean food.”

“You seem to come here often.”

“Sometimes. By myself. Secretary Kim recommended this place.”

“Why do you come alone?”

“Because I don’t share the things I like with others.”

Heo Seok said with a twisted smile. The corner of his upturned lip was chilling. The fact that I was at the end of that gaze…….

Just then, someone came in.

She looked a bit older but was a gorgeous and voluptuous beauty. She was wearing a hanbok with a short jeogori, and every time she moved, the folded flesh of her armpit would peek out tantalizingly.

Heo Seok acknowledged the woman. The woman smiled as she entered, greeted Heo Seok, and then turned to me. Her sharp gaze, which had been observing me, softened in an instant.

“Assemblyman, who is this student?”

“The next member of the National Assembly.”

“Oh my, are you raising a disciple?”

“Hahaha. A disciple, is that how it sounds?”

“I’ll have the meal prepared and brought right away. Would you like a cup of tea before your meal?”

“No, it’s fine. The owner must be busy, you should go.”

It seemed she was the owner of this large restaurant.

The woman smiled brightly at Heo Seok’s words, then said for us to enjoy our rest and stood up. As she rose, the pointed toe of her oessibeoseon (Wild-cucumber-seed-shaped sock) moved nimbly, and a pleasant fragrance spread faintly. After she left, I followed her retreating figure with my eyes as if possessed and said.

“She’s beautiful.”

“……”

There was no reply from Heo Seok, so I finally turned my gaze from the door where the woman had disappeared.

Heo Seok was looking at me. His eyes were indescribable. It seemed like he was hiding his intentions, or perhaps he was revealing them blatantly.

I rubbed the goosebumps rising on my arm under his gaze.

“Well, that’s not what’s beautiful.”

“……Your wife must be a great beauty, Assemblyman.”

“If we’re talking about that kind of beauty, what woman could compare to Owner Yoon?”

“I thought she was a heavenly fairy.”

“Hahaha, then you should have told her that to her face.”

The look in Heo Seok’s eyes as he stared at me was strange. I felt a primal fear.

Soon, the meal was served. We ate dinner in silence. When I was moderately full, I put down my spoon and chopsticks. In the past, I would have shoveled the food down greedily, but in that short period, I had learned how to suppress my hunger. Out of necessity.

Heo Seok stopped eating as if he had been waiting for me to put down my utensils. The moment he put his down, the door opened and dessert was brought in, as if someone was monitoring the room with a camera. Three servers came in, swiftly cleared the table, and quickly set out the dessert. It was beautifully colored traditional sweets and tea.

Heo Seok told me anecdotes from his European tour. It was fascinating how heads of state and famous figures from various countries, whom I had only seen and heard about on portal sites or in the news, appeared like close acquaintances through his words. Heo Seok, who stood shoulder to shoulder with them with such confidence, couldn’t have looked more magnificent.