Resurrection Chapter 73 - Did It Feel Good?

I knew what he wanted. He was clearly suffering from an unidentified impulse ignited by Ulfheðinn.

As I faced it, at a loss for what to do, guilt bloomed on Heesoo hyung’s face. He contorted his face and his eyelashes trembled faintly. By the time he pulled his forehead away from mine and turned his head, he looked as if he were about to cry.

At that sight, a feeling akin to an impulse arose in me as well. I reached out, grabbed his cheek, and turned him back to face me.

Heesoo hyung, once again facing me, widened his eyes slightly in surprise. I looked back at him and spoke in a deliberately light tone.

“Just do it.”

“…Pardon?”

“If you try it, it might not be a big deal.”

I didn’t want him to feel unnecessary guilt over a desire caused by Ulfheðinn. If that was the case, I figured it was better to just lend him my lips.

It wasn’t like I was the type to place great meaning on a kiss, and hadn’t I already kissed Heesoo hyung several times? It seemed unreasonable to allow Ulfheðinn to do something but forbid him from it.

Above all, there was a high possibility that if he kissed me, he would think, ‘this isn’t it’. He didn’t seem to have a preference for men, and since he was normally a rational person, he’d be lucky not to have a reality check after rubbing mouths with another man. Thinking it would be better for him to face reality and cleanly shake off the pointless impulse, I quickly lifted my chin as if to say, ‘go ahead and kiss me’.

Seeing me naturally close my eyes, Heesoo hyung asked in a faintly trembling voice.

“Are you serious?”

I nodded my head with my eyes still closed.

No sooner had I stopped nodding than Heesoo hyung moved closer. I drew in a breath, but for someone who had approached so impatiently, Heesoo hyung was very cautious. As if he would touch me but not quite, he hesitated for a long time with his lips close to mine.

Only after I couldn’t wait for him any longer and let out a sigh, haa, did he gently press his lips to mine.

The kiss, which was merely a meeting of lips, made me feel foolish for having worried for some unknown reason. It was because my permission for his kiss had also been mixed with a hint of concern. I had wondered what I would do if he kissed me forcefully like Ulfheðinn.

Although it was unlikely for Heesoo hyung to do such a thing, having experienced it from Ulfheðinn who had possessed him, I couldn’t just casually dismiss his desire. I had shrunk back without realizing it, so I was worried he would notice my feelings.

If Heesoo hyung were to do something impulsive in the midst of this, he would surely be consumed by guilt and suffer. Our relationship would definitely become awkward in some way. I thought it was better to pretend it was nothing and grant him permission.

But once our lips actually met, my tension felt pointless. Heesoo hyung was not Ulfheðinn. He was a person who could never be that rude.

He didn’t force a kiss, nor did he fiercely invade and stir my insides as he pleased. Even with my consent, he remained still with our lips touching, as if he didn’t know what to do, like it was his first kiss.

The kiss was not just cautious but downright clumsy, and a small laugh escaped me. In the end, I let out a soft chuckle. The surprised Heesoo hyung pulled his lips away, and I said with a giggle.

“What, have you never kissed anyone before, hyung?”

Heesoo hyung showed a faintly troubled expression.

“I have not.”

“H-huh? Really?”

“I have not.”

I thought it was ridiculous, but on second thought, it seemed plausible. From what I remembered, he had become the apostle of the White Goddess right after turning of age, and he said he hadn’t been able to date for a long time after that. If so, it might be true that he had never even kissed anyone before.

No, it must be true. There was no reason for him to lie about something like this.

Suddenly, a shocking fact flashed through my mind. Did that mean the kiss with me back when Ulfheðinn possessed him was his first kiss?

I suddenly felt a sense of guilt. At the same time, I felt immensely sorry for Heesoo hyung. To have his first kiss over and done with without any memory of it, and on top of that, with someone like me.

He could have had his pick of partners, but he lost his first kiss in an unforeseen accident before he could even have a proper romance. Even if it wasn’t my fault, it was something to be sorry for.

As I stood there, not knowing what to do, Heesoo hyung looked troubled and lowered his eyelids.

“What should I do…”

Seeing him hesitate, I reached out my hand. And I patted his cheek with my fingertips and said.

“Just save this and do it with someone else. With someone you really like.”

“…”

“It’s your first kiss, right?”

Heesoo hyung took my hand, lowered it, and brought it to his lips. Then, as if stamping a seal, he pressed his heated lips firmly onto my palm. The spot where his lips touched was very hot and ticklish. As Heesoo hyung began to speak, my shoulders shrank back on their own.

“You’ve already taken my first, Mr. Yitae, haven’t you?”

“You don’t remember it, so it doesn’t count.”

“If I could do that, I wouldn’t be feeling this way.”

His point was correct, so I didn’t know what to say. While I was just opening and closing my mouth, Heesoo hyung let go of my hand and leaned his head closer.

“I’ll consider it practice.”

I wasn’t convinced by his words. I just couldn’t refuse the lips that had come so close. Using his words as an excuse, I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.

The beginning was light and gentle. True to his word about it being practice, Heesoo hyung seemed nervous. Our touching lips trembled faintly, and his breathing was ragged. I couldn’t believe that these were the same lips as Ulfheðinn’s fierce, rude, and utterly rough ones.

I slowly lost myself in our kiss. As I did, the reality of what was happening sank in: I was kissing the person everyone had once eagerly hoped for and desired, the ideal man for all.

Without needing to look far, he had long been my idol. I had only ever seen him constantly in holograms, on electronic billboards, or online; I never thought we would be together like this. Just becoming his partner had felt like a dream, but now, to be in his arms, kissing him.

The fact was so poignant that I fell deeply into our kiss without realizing it. I boldly led him, who was shy and cautious.

As the kiss deepened and Heesoo hyung’s movements grew bolder, I forgot that I had been the one leading him. He seeped into me deeply and pressed our bodies together without a gap.

The heat he radiated was transferred to me, and I panted, pinned beneath his heavy body. Before I knew it, I was so out of breath that my chest felt like it would explode, and it was hard to breathe.

It was also because Heesoo hyung didn’t give me a moment to breathe. He seemed completely lost in the pleasure he was feeling for the first time and didn’t budge even at my groans. He was so deeply engrossed that he seemed to have forgotten to breathe himself.

In the end, I, on the verge of suffocating, tapped his arm. Still, there was no movement except for his lips, so I squirmed beneath him. I writhed and moaned in what could be called resistance.

“Mmm, mm… mm… Nnngh!”

As my resistance grew stronger, my mouth stung with a sharp pain—whether by mistake or intentionally. Realizing he had bitten me, I shuddered in surprise.

Only then did Heesoo hyung hastily pull his lips away, his eyes darting around in panic. With a flushed face and disheveled appearance, I glared at Heesoo hyung.

“That hurt…!”

“It was a mistake.”

“Are you sure it was a mistake? You bit me properly.”

“It was a mistake. Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?”

“It hurts. It felt good, but that part hurt!”

At the words I had carelessly let slip while mumbling about my mouth, Heesoo hyung asked back.

“It felt good?”

“Huh?”

When I asked back with my voice cracking, Heesoo hyung’s eyes curved softly. His eyes were shimmering with what looked like joy, so I couldn’t bring myself to say no.

“Uh, yeah… It felt good, of course.”

No, is this okay? It was laughable that I thought it would be bad since we were both men. For some reason, it felt like I enjoyed it more than he did, and after saying it, I was mortified.

My face flushed bright red, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Gently stroking my hair, he kissed my forehead.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. But it felt good for me, too. It felt so good that I didn’t want it to end.”

“No, it’s not that I wanted to e-end it, it was because it was hard to breathe. What am I supposed to do if you don’t even give me a chance to breathe like that? You have to let yourself breathe, and let me breathe too, Heesoo hyung.”

“I understand. It will be different this time.”

Heesoo hyung, speaking seriously, lightly brushed his lips against mine. Perhaps because his long bangs tickled my cheek, I felt a ticklish sensation.

At his gesture, which seemed to be asking for a kiss, I raised my hand and stroked the back of his head. Soon, as his lips parted mine and entered again, I plunged my fingers deep into his soft hair.

“Nngh…”

It seemed swordsmanship wasn’t the only thing Heesoo hyung was good at. With just one word from me asking for a chance to breathe, he had completely mastered the rhythm of kissing. He skillfully created chances to breathe by changing the angle several times, allowing me to not be conscious of my breathing at all. I could only feel his lips intensely.

“Huuut, hh…”

Nasal sounds kept escaping, and I continuously let out faint moans. Before I knew it, I was fidgeting and shifting my body, pinned beneath his. The weight pressing down on me meant I couldn’t actually move, but Heesoo hyung must have clearly felt my body twitching and jumping.

With his large hands, he slowly caressed my ears, the nape of my neck, my shoulders, and arms, before slipping a hand to my side. His hot palm touched my bare skin, and I jumped.

“Ah!”

Suddenly, my mind cleared, and Min Gongchan’s warning pierced my ears sharply.

‘Seo Heesoo will destroy the world because he loves you.’

A sudden awareness of reality hit me, as if I’d been doused with cold water. The thought came to me that if this was all because of Ulfheðinn and if this was really practice, then it should stop here.