There Is No Hidden Villain in This Novel – Chapter 93

Author: nicotine

‘It does feel a bit shitty to have to think this hard just to be treated like a person.’

But I have no worries. Because I am making sure to get ample payback from the bastards who made me feel shitty.

Won’t they get a slipped disc in their necks from doing that? I do feel a little bit sorry for the butler, who is bowing with sweat dripping in this cold weather. Because the butler is not a trained martial artist.

But I don’t give a damn whether Leversa sweats in their iron armor or not. I have no intention of showing mercy to those who came to kill me.

‘Let’s fill up a full hour like this!’

However, the leader of Leversa, as if he could not stand it any longer, sharply raised his head.

I did not miss that moment.

“Two-hour extension.”

“…!”

As if shocked by the sudden extension of service, I saw several members of Leversa, who had been barely holding on, lose their posture and suppress their murderous intent. But I couldn’t let them off the hook here. I shook my head from side to side, feigning a truly annoying sort of regret.

“Dick Yole-ray raised his head, so it can’t be helped. If you must blame someone, blame him.”

But then, the expressions on the Leversa bastards, who should have been furious, turned strange. Why? Was the name wrong?

Then what’s his name in the original novel?

‘Wasn’t it something similar to Dick Yorkshire Terrier?’

Though he looks more like a pit bull terrier.

But then, Ryuseong whispered in my ear, and it turned out that Dick’s name was surprisingly not Yole-ray or Yorkshire Terrier, but Baskerville.

At first, I couldn’t believe it and argued, asking if it was really Baskerville and not Yole-ray-hoo, but upon thinking about it later, it seems I mistook Dick Baskerville’s surname for a dog breed because The Hound of the Baskervilles appeared in the Sherlock Holmes series.

‘My apologies to the cute puppy, the Yorkshire Terrier.’

I did hear what sounded like the Leversa bastards stifling their laughter as if they had heard our conversation, but I decided to believe, with an innocent heart, that they hadn’t. Because if they burst out laughing at the sound of their leader being teased, I thought it would mean their military discipline was just too far gone. They pride themselves on being the strongest military unit, so surely they wouldn’t be such a base and inferior group? Right?

When I whispered that last part out loud, the way they twitched their toes as if having a seizure was truly a work of art. As the time continued to extend like that, after a full four hours of torturing Leversa, they, in contrast to their extremely dissatisfied faces, knelt before me and began to show proper etiquette. Only then did I stop my friendly and affectionate smile. And I said.

“You incorrigible hounds, who have only now become docile.”

Let’s establish discipline first, you little shits.

“I am still pondering how I should receive the price for daring to express killing intent in front of my lover.”

“…?”

Ryuseong tried to turn to me with a dumbfounded look, but I quickly stepped firmly on his foot.

Ryuseong’s bewilderment was, of course, because Leversa’s killing intent had been directed at me. But what would the people who came rushing out of their tents in surprise know of such things?

I had effectively imprinted the image of a devoted lover upon those who were murmuring and chasing gossip, making them accept the power struggle with Leversa as something plausible.

‘This is what you call killing two birds with one stone. Cleaning the ditch and catching crayfish isn’t enough. Huh? You have to love and kiss and all that…’

“It was our oversight. We thought the Young Master had been kidnapped by the ruffians of the Hanra-pa, you see.”

I was lost in my thoughts but returned to reality at Dick Yogawon’s remark. For reference, this is a remark that completely dismisses me. It simultaneously treats my lover as a ruffian and belittles me, asking where a weak little kid who could be kidnapped so easily was wandering around before finally crawling back.

Hearing such words, it would be natural to feel offended, but I was different. Rather, upon meeting a skilled trash-talker, my competitive spirit was aroused. As I too am quite the smooth talker, I wanted to show off my skills.

However, unfortunately, the first round of the war of words ended in a misfire. The Russian officer, Ivan Karpin, appeared behind Leversa and said this.

“Stop your family squabble. If you have arrived late, it is proper courtesy to come and meet the commander first, you know.”

“…”

At that, Dick Yogeun-rae glared at me for a moment before jumping to his feet and turning around. He, of course, would not be able to stand seeing Cassis de Millang, the proper young head in the eyes of the public, being ignored by outsiders. In that case, I…

“Shut up! How dare you open your mouth at a de Millang affair! A mere officer…!”

“You shut up! Dick Yosil-geum!”

“…”

I’ll just mindlessly tackle Dick Yorgasm’s words.

Let’s wait and see when that bastard finally loses his mind.

＊＊＊

‘Is he crazy?’

Ivan Karpin seriously pondered.

‘Is the young head of de Millang crazy?’

And for good reason; such a performance could not have come from anyone who wasn’t crazy. A person in their right mind couldn’t possibly…

‘…act like this… right…?’

Ivan Karpin felt his pupils tremble on their own.

Currently, Cassis de Millang, as if giving the new surname of Yosil-geum, or incontinence, to Dick Baskerville, the ruler of fear and oppression, was not enough, was changing his surname with every word like a mad bulldozer.

“What do you mean by that? To think you would hand over the right of command to a mere officer like that—!”

“Dick Yoro-gyeolseok, listen carefully.”

“Pfft— Huk!”

A member of Leversa who had burst out laughing without realizing it began to slap his own cheek. Slap! Slap! Slap!

Regardless of that, Cassis de Millang was serious.

“I know what you are about to say. But Dick Yogang, no matter how much of a chamber pot you are, there are lines that cannot be crossed.”

‘I think I’m going to lose my mind… I really think I’m going to lose my mind.’

The biggest problem was that the face uttering such words was dead serious while everyone else was on a try-not-to-laugh challenge.

If I laugh here, I feel like I’m going to be beaten to death by Dick ‘Baskerville.’

It felt like everyone except Cassis de Millang was going to die together.

“Dick Yojo-suknyeo must remain a gentle lady and nothing more. The collateral branch can never, ever covet the authority of the direct line. And yet…”

“I wasn’t trying to—!”

“Is that something you should say after daring to interrupt the words of the direct line? Dick Yogurt?”

‘Ah. I think I’m going to pee myself.’

The subordinate soldier standing next to Ivan Karpin genuinely thought so. Whether his laughter burst or his bladder burst, one of the two was bound to be dangerous. No, now he just wanted to cry. One person was already burying his face in the snow and sobbing his heart out, and it was just sad that he had to forcibly hold on to his sanity.

But when he came to his senses, he saw that both Cassis de Millang and Dick Yomul… no, Baskerville were looking at him. The Russian soldier standing next to Ivan Karpin, flustered in an instant, shook his head from side to side before looking down and realizing why all eyes were on him.

‘Ah.’

Perhaps his bladder had loosened from holding back his laughter.

His pants were frozen completely yellow.

＊＊＊

Oh boy. The one I was trying to drive crazy was Dick Yomul, but I accidentally embarrassed Ivan Karpin’s subordinate.

‘Seriously sorry. That wasn’t my intention.’

I sent him a subtle gaze, hoping my thoughts would be conveyed, but that soldier never met my eyes, just shed tears drop by drop as he staggered away. He’ll freeze his cheeks too if he cries like that, making me feel sorry…

Anyway, Ivan Karpin, who had been burying his face in his palm with an attitude that was hard to tell if it was embarrassment, shame, or suppressing laughter, finally took a deep breath and lifted his head. It seemed he was trying to sort out the situation, and I hoped he would succeed too. Because it’s a difficult task to keep thinking of words that start with Yo.

“Alright, let’s sort this out now. The Young Head is of a mind to hand over the command authority to me, and there can be no attempt to go against the Young Head’s opinion, correct? Then that’s settled. It’s settled. So, Mr. Dick Yodo, you should also stop now…”

“…”

“Ah, dammit.”

Yodo, a urethra. Even I thought that was too much, so I couldn’t say it. A pale Ivan Karpin buried his face in his palms again, and this time, the flower of laughter that could no longer be suppressed fully bloomed on everyone’s lips.

There were people who laughed so hard they seemed to be splitting their sides, and people who rolled around in the snow.

But I did not laugh until the end, and Ivan Karpin, who had committed the major disaster, could not laugh either.

“…To the Young Head’s… order.”

And Dick Baskerville did not laugh either.

“I shall comply.”

He was glaring at me as if he would kill me.

“…”

Well, I didn’t mean to make it this funny.

‘Was I too harsh?’

From beside me, I heard the sound of Ryuseong letting out a sigh he had been holding back with all his might.

It was as if he was treating me like a troublemaker…

‘Oh, the sad part is that I think that’s a fair assessment.’