Black Paradise Chapter 4.2

An awkward gaze met his. Ilyeong stared at Seo Juhyeok for a long time, momentarily at a loss for words. Was it Aiden who said that if he saw Seo Juhyeok in a military uniform, he would realize that Seo Juhyeok was a born soldier?

Ilyeong was realizing the truth of that statement in a different sense. He was not in his usual loose attire. From his dress shirt to his vest, he was impeccably dressed, as if he had just rushed out of a banquet hall.

The shirt buttons, which he always left carelessly undone, were meticulously fastened up to his neck, and over it, he wore a black vest that highlighted the lines of his firm body. In the narrow V-zone, a tie, which he had never seen Seo Juhyeok wear before, was neatly knotted. His hair, which he usually let fall casually over his forehead, was also carefully swept back, revealing a sharper impression. The light cast by the lamps gathered on the curved planes of his face, creating deep shadows. He looked so unfamiliar that Ilyeong was left speechless.

“You unlocked the door a while ago, why are you only coming in now.”

The presence of the man standing in the middle of the small living room was so immense that it consumed all of Ilyeong’s thoughts. This was not how he wanted to confirm his own position. Damn Aiden. If he had planted those words in his mind with the intention of ruining his mood, then he had really been had.

Ilyeong let out a sigh and roughly rubbed his eyes. Sensing that something was wrong, Seo Juhyeok finished fastening the cufflink on his shirt and strode toward the entryway.

“Is something the matter?”

“No, it is not. I was just lost in thought for a moment.”

As Seo Juhyeok’s scent grew stronger, his mind snapped to attention. Now that he thought about it, Aiden was not the only one who fit the idiom of a lion hiding its claws. He must not forget that this side of Seo Juhyeok was his true self. This meeting was to negotiate the price of his life. As he had told Haoran, Seo Juhyeok was the last chance he had left.

“I feel like that is not all.”

“……”

Seo Juhyeok just stared at Ilyeong for a moment, as if searching for his reaction. A strange light slowly began to appear in his eyes, which had been languidly relaxed, no different from the last time he had seen him. The sharp, persistent gaze that seemed to dig into his mind sent a chill down the nape of his neck. Come to think of it, the temperature inside the room was also considerably lower than in the other guest rooms.

When Ilyeong shivered, Seo Juhyeok’s eyes crinkled slightly, interpreting it in his own way.

His lips parted as if to say something, but Seo Juhyeok’s next words were cut off by a person who appeared from behind him in the next moment.

“Come on in! We do not have much time!”

It was a woman he had never seen before. Since the structure of this room was the same as his own, the place the woman popped out from must have been the bedroom. In an instant, his mood plummeted.

Seo Juhyeok withdrew the hand that had been hovering as if to brush against Ilyeong’s ear. The woman, who failed to read the atmosphere, approached and tilted her head in front of Ilyeong.

“Oh my, you are a bit taller than I heard. Lieutenant Colonel Seo said you were small.”

Ilyeong silently looked up at Seo Juhyeok. He had never thought of himself as small or weak, but for some reason, in front of Seo Juhyeok, he was only made aware of how weak and insignificant he was. Perhaps because he had only ever seen Seo Juhyeok standing crookedly or sitting as if he were melting into his seat, the difference in the sense of pressure he felt now was even greater.

Ilyeong sighed at his complicated thoughts and looked at the woman.

“The last time I was measured, I was about 177. But why my height……”

“Because we do not have time to get your clothes sized. Did you not hear the explanation? You are attending the evening banquet as the Lieutenant Colonel’s partner.”

“This is the first I am hearing of it.”

Ilyeong tensed his eyes and practically glared at Seo Juhyeok. Under the intense gaze, Seo Juhyeok’s firm lips loosened slightly. A faint, playful atmosphere emerged.

“Oh dear. It seems Aiden did not tell you.”

“To be precise, I did not hear anything from you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“I am a little hurt. I have never thought of having anyone other than Mr. Kwon Ilyeong as my partner.”

His words, which were impossible to distinguish as either sincere or a joke, once again left him speechless. Seo Juhyeok turned his wrist to look at the watch on it, then nodded his head toward the woman.

“Let us finish getting ready first and talk later. When I said we do not have time, I meant it.”

Ilyeong and the woman followed behind Seo Juhyeok as he strode ahead into the bedroom. Seo Juhyeok walked straight to a small table placed next to the bed. Then he sat down on the one-person sofa beside it and picked up a bundle of papers. The corners were quite crumpled, as if he had looked at it a lot. Seo Juhyeok and documents. What a ridiculously mismatched combination.

Besides that, there was another reason he looked unfamiliar. Perhaps it was because he did not have to act like a scoundrel in front of the woman he had brought into his bedroom, but his face held little of the usual playful smile.

Even when they were just exchanging conversation like a joke, the atmosphere he exuded was sharp. At least for now, he seemed closer to the ‘next in line to be the Head’ or ‘Lieutenant Colonel Seo’.

He had a thought that perhaps he was not the only one who was nervous ahead of the final event on the cruise.

“Now, stand up straight here. It is a shame we do not have much time. Still, you have a good natural build and you are slim, so the fit should look good. Among the people from the evacuation zone, you will be the most stunningly handsome. I guarantee it.”

The woman brought a tape measure and chattered away nonstop with her small mouth. Ilyeong, who had been led to stand by her touch, felt his hair stand on end the moment her hand reached for the clothes and bag in his arms.

Smack. At the sharp strike of his hand, the woman dropped the tape measure to the ground. Her voice, which had been chirping like a warbler, also stopped abruptly.

The woman looked up at Ilyeong with eyes of disbelief and narrowed them slightly. The sound also drew Seo Juhyeok’s gaze upward. Ilyeong deliberately tensed his queasy throat.

“The clothes are fine. Head Seo Yoonseok already gave clothes as gifts to the people from the evacuation zone.”

Seo Juhyeok’s gaze lightly landed on the clothes Ilyeong was holding.

“My father gave you clothes that look like rags like that?”

Ilyeong, who was about to flare up, firmly shut his mouth. It was because he realized the state of the clothes he was holding. Perhaps because he had rolled on the ground once because of Yuto, the clothes, covered in footprints and dust, could not be called new even in the kindest of words.

Hmm, Seo Juhyeok seemed to be thinking for a moment, then gathered the bundle of papers he was looking at with one hand. Thanks to that, Ilyeong managed to vaguely recognize the words passing over the cover like an afterimage.

Winner Identity Check

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong. If I had my way, I would like to sit you on my lap and gently soothe you, but unfortunately, I do not have the leisure to do that today. So tell me right now what you are unhappy about.”

It was a face that was trying its best to smile calmly. He forced himself to swallow the words that he was curious about the identity of the bundle of papers in his hand. Ilyeong glanced sideways at the woman frozen beside him.

“First of all……. I would like to speak with you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, alone.”

“Oh my, just pretend I am not here and speak comfortably. I am used to letting things go in one ear and out the other.”

The woman picked up the tape measure again and joked playfully. Ilyeong stared intently at Seo Juhyeok’s face without reacting. The time their gazes clashed, like a staring contest, grew longer.

A moment later, Seo Juhyeok smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting smoothly.

“I understand you less and less as time goes on. Anne, please step out for a moment.”

“Lieutenant Colonel, but to make it in time for the banquet……”

“I need to tend to my partner’s mood first.”

At Seo Juhyeok’s firm words, the woman seemed to fret for a moment, but then she left the bedroom without another word.

Click. Only after confirming the sound of the door closing did Ilyeong turn his head back to Seo Juhyeok. Perhaps because of his attire, his eyes, with his back to the window, gleamed somewhat ominously today. He let out a breath like a sigh and slowly rubbed his temple with one hand.

“I wonder what could have possibly displeased Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

The quietly questioning voice was both soft and sharp. As if it would decide its color depending on the answer. A dry swallow went down his throat. He had asked for the woman to be sent away, but he did not know how to start talking. Before he could even move his parched tongue.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, are you perhaps afraid of me?”

It was an unexpected point. Ilyeong blankly raised his head. Afraid? Of Seo Juhyeok?

He had crawled his way here by rationalizing that this was his last chance, but he had not yet come to a conclusion on whether he could trust Seo Juhyeok or not. When he saw his gentle side, he felt close to him, but when he discovered his sharp side like now, it all felt like a trap he had set. Perhaps he had been tormented by this feeling all along.

Now that he faced the source of his emotions, the answer ‘no’ would not come out readily. His black eyes keenly followed his expression.

“If it is hard to answer, shall I tell you a story.”

His tone was as casual as if he were about to read a fairy tale, but he knew well that was not the underlying meaning. Seo Juhyeok stared intently at the silent Ilyeong and continued speaking.

“Anne’s family has been in charge of our family’s clothing for generations. Even our very cautious family evaluates Anne as a gentle person with no desire for power.”

“What does that have to do with anything all of a sudden……”

“Hear me out. I was the same way. Until I saw Anne coming out of my hyung’s bedroom a few years ago.”

Seo Juhyeok’s fingers tapped his knee, tap tap, nonchalantly. His nerves felt as if they were standing on end at the carefree words that blocked his anxious mind. As he focused his gaze on those fingertips, Seo Juhyeok abruptly stopped his fingers.

“Anne begged me to keep it a secret. She knew very well that my father’s love for my hyung was exceptional, and that he would never let the two of them be.”

“……So… what did you do?”

“I said I did not care. I also value her talent quite highly. In fact, should I say she should be grateful she was caught by me? In exchange for keeping my mouth shut, I was able to find out a few of my hyung’s secrets. It was not a losing deal for me at all, so I planned to keep my promise, but it seems Anne has other ideas. It is so obvious that she is constantly testing and sizing me up, it is getting hard to pretend I do not notice.”

The words Aiden and Seo Juhyeok had said mixed chaotically in his head.

“There is not a single person around the Lieutenant Colonel who is ‘truly’ on his side.”

“The saying that if you want to hide a tree, you should go to the forest. I think Mr. Kwon Ilyeong has probably heard it at least once.”

Seo Juhyeok was silent for a moment, then shot up from his seat. A heavy scent that made his whole body tingle emanated from him as he strode closer. His eyes, looking down, were chillingly cold, belying the smiling expression on his face.

For reasons he did not know, Seo Juhyeok’s low mood was felt unfiltered, and Ilyeong unknowingly took a step back. Seo Juhyeok twisted one side of his mouth up into a smile, like air escaping.

“Everyone around me is like that. They all think of me as some uncontrollable son of a bitch.”

His muttered words grew longer.

“But the thing is, I have not really done anything to them. No, even if I were really a son of a bitch, they should not treat me like that. After they pushed me onto the battlefield at fifteen, made me watch my younger brother die right before my eyes, and made me watch my mother go insane…… at the very least, those people should not demand that I be sane. It is a little unfair.”

Suddenly, his fingers grabbed the collar of Ilyeong’s shirt and pulled it open. His firm, cool fingertips burrowed into the gap that opened up.

Seo Juhyeok precisely traced the spot where the mark he had left had disappeared.

“But when do you think I first had this thought, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

“……I do… not know.”

“It was from the moment Mr. Kwon Ilyeong walked into this guest room with that expression on your face. It is something I have never once in my life found unpleasant before.”

“……”

“Shall I be a little more honest? Even after realizing it was unpleasant, frankly, I do not care what those people think. I just have to act like the madman they expect me to be, and that is that.”

His firm fingertips slid all the way up Ilyeong’s neck and rubbed over his collarbone.

“But Mr. Kwon Ilyeong’s reaction is a bit hurtful. I thought that, at least until now, we were thinking similar things. Strangely, every time we meet, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong seems to be more afraid of me. At first, you came at me without any fear.”

There was nothing he could say. It was he who had confessed to having a fetish for his voice, and it was also he who had brazenly asked if he could kiss him. That day, if he had been even slightly wary or afraid of Seo Juhyeok like the others, the situation would have been completely different.

Seo Juhyeok would not have been angry with him in this way, and he would not have even gotten the chance to come and beg for his life.

“Do you know what I am talking about right now.”

Suddenly, the words he had said last time came to mind.

“I take back what I said about not wanting things to get serious.”

He might be talking about an extension of that. Unaware of Ilyeong’s bitter feelings, Seo Juhyeok continued to speak without expression.

“My patience is slowly running out. So answer me now, are you acting this way because you still think I am going to kill you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong?”

A little more force was applied to his fingers that were crawling over his skin. It was not painful, but it was enough force to feel like pressure. Ilyeong moistened his dry lips with his tongue and barely opened his mouth.

“……No. Not right now. If I really thought you were going to kill me, Mr. Seo Juhyeok… I would not have come this far.”

He was being sincere. No, he thought he was being sincere. But after saying it out loud, something in his chest lurched. Not wanting to label it as anxiety and doubt, he stubbornly clenched his teeth.

His broken brain, which had been quiet lately, did not miss the chance and began to stir and start up. Really? Do you really trust that person that much? Since when were you so generous to your enemies? It was almost a miracle that he did not hit his head to drive out that voice. He clenched his fists. Seo Juhyeok’s eyes became sharp enough to seem to dig out even lies.

“Then explain it to me properly so I can understand why you are making that face.”

Ilyeong had no idea how to explain this complex feeling. In the end, it was back to square one. The question of whether he was afraid of Seo Juhyeok was so inappropriate. It was the natural law of the food chain. In this crazy world where only the strong survive and the weak are mercilessly weeded out, would there be a person with the guts not to be afraid of Seo Juhyeok? A beast that had lived only in the lofty jungle called Paradise would naturally not understand this feeling.

Seo Juhyeok had said it was unfair, but for some reason, Ilyeong felt he could now keenly understand the feelings of those around him. Aiden, who hated and was jealous of him, and Anne, who doubted and was wary of him, were all just protecting their own ways of survival.

If so, then his current choice to come and see him was also his own way of survival. His dizzy mind brought on a ringing in his ears for the first time in a while. It felt exactly as if cold water was being poured into it, gush gush gush.

Ilyeong pulled away the hand that was stroking the nape of his neck.

“……I think it is right that I am scared.”

“Why?”

“Because you said we were alike, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, but in reality, it is the complete opposite.”

“Afraid because we are the opposite, you say. Let us say that is true. But have I ever threatened you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong? I seem to only have memories of treating you well.”

That was the problem. Every time Seo Juhyeok acted relaxed around him, he could feel his guard being let down. When he turned around, he had to build a wall even higher than before. If the situation had not been this terrible, could he have been a little more honest with him? No, that is not right. In the first place, it was all just meaningless what ifs. His was a relationship with Seo Juhyeok that could not last long. A relationship that might not even be valid on this cruise, or perhaps even here… he had been complacent.

“That is not what I need.”

Silence followed the words he spat out through clenched teeth.

“……So you have been thinking that way all along.”

He could feel that the atmosphere of his muttering a moment later had sunk to a level incomparable to before. There was something he had to confirm before starting the main conversation.

“How much am I worth to you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok?”

Seo Juhyeok’s gaze slid smoothly up from the tip of Ilyeong’s chin to his eyes. He added an explanation to that look, which seemed to ask the meaning of his words.

“Please answer me. Because what I say next will likely change depending on your answer, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“I doubt you are suggesting we play a riddle. It feels like I am being tested, and I am not too fond of this feeling either. It must be nice for you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, being so calculating and cold in everything you do.”

He sneered in a monotone voice. He had heard to death in the trash village that he was overly calculating and indifferent in everything he did. His family said so, and even Joo Yoonchae had said so. But hearing it from Seo Juhyeok made him feel a little sad for some reason. It was not that he did not understand. Seo Juhyeok had already endured his rudeness and selfishness for far too long. The urge to turn around right now, open the door, and run away flooded him.

Nevertheless, when he pretended to be unfazed and pressed for an answer with wide eyes, Seo Juhyeok’s jaw tensed.

“You have an expression that looks like you are expecting an ardent confession.”

That too hit the mark, and his cheek twitched. It would have been easier if that were the case, but the cold eyes looking down at him held not a single spark of warmth. The man who had shared a kiss while high on drugs or whose eyes had shone while listening to his rock bottom past was no longer here.

A fact suddenly struck him. That the reason Seo Juhyeok had held anything resembling interest in him in the first place was simply out of curiosity, and that the moment the expiration date of that curiosity was over, this ambiguous relationship would also be over.

As if to put a final stop to it, Seo Juhyeok bit out his words.

“What will you do if I answer that you are worth just about that much, curiosity. Then what will you say now, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong?”

His eyelids twitched minutely. Even though it was the answer he had expected, his stomach churned. His distant mind sank further down, like a sinkhole. He felt helpless, as if a collapsed stratum had come crashing down on his head, rumble rumble. Now he was the only one left there. Seo Juhyeok was gone, no one was there…….

Ilyeong pressed down on his fluttering chest as if to calm it, and barely opened his mouth. He tried to stay calm.

“Then…… it will be different from now on. I cannot be swayed by Lieutenant Colonel Seo any longer.”

For he could not bet his life on the whims of a powerful person. At the change in title, Seo Juhyeok’s eyebrows twitched. There was no way he did not know what that meant.

Ilyeong raised his gaze, which had been fixed on Seo Juhyeok’s shoulder, a little. And he doubted his own eyes. The expressionless face he looked up at reminded him of the Nam Kiyoon he had seen one day. The feeling he had felt while looking at Nam Kiyoon, who had desperately cried that he could never go to Paradise, a certain sense of emptiness, rushed over him like a wave. His chest was in such turmoil that he could not bear it.

As soon as their staring contest like exchange of glances began, Seo Juhyeok quickly erased the momentary glint in his eyes. The man, skilled at hiding his expressions, once again hid behind a solid mask like plaster.

“Keep talking.”

He had returned to a smiling face and a polite tone, but Seo Juhyeok’s voice was chilly. It was a gentlemanly threat to stop provoking him. The threatening tone or the shortened words that came in as soon as he declared the end of the relationship were not surprising. This was his true self. After confusing people with his two-faced nature all this time, he finally felt like he held the right answer in his hands.

Ilyeong forced strength into his tightening throat. His chin trembled slightly. For this moment, he decided to put on the mask of the clueless Haoran. Since Seo Juhyeok had also been putting up a fake front all this time, there was no reason he could not do the same.

“Mr. Seo Juhyeok…… did you really not know? What the lottery meant, what the winners do in Paradise. What kind of person the messenger that Colonel Jamie has is, and what happened to him.”

Seo Juhyeok scoffed mercilessly.

“What if I did?”

At the unexpected reaction, he felt as if the decisive move he had planned had been thrown straight into the trash.

“That is a lie… is it not. Mr. Seo Juhyeok, you are……”

You are none other than a high ranking member of Paradise. Those words went down his throat gratingly. It was because he remembered how Seo Juhyeok had described his relationship with his family as ‘to the point where it is questionable if they are blood related’. As the silence lengthened, Seo Juhyeok twisted his lips.

“See. You have already come to a conclusion. That you cannot trust me because I am from Paradise, and because I am the son of Head Seo Yoonseok.”

“……”

“I do not know what kind of answer you want to hear. Since Mr. Kwon Ilyeong answered honestly, is it my turn now? Fine, if you really want to know.”

His tightly clenched jaw muscle bulged distinctly, then subsided again.

“I am not interested. If it were not for you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, I would not have even thought of looking into it to the end. If I found out later, it would be because it was necessary for my plan, there is no other reason. If you expected some great sense of responsibility or mission from me, you were sorely mistaken.”

He really did not know. Strangely, anger surged within him. If he had heard the answer that he had known but pretended not to, he would not have been as angry as he was now. Ilyeong struggled to calm his quavering voice.

“This is why I say we are different.”

“Is that all you have to say? I am disappointed right now too, so be more honest. You measured this and weighed that because you had something to say to me, did you not.”

Seo Juhyeok had seen through him from the beginning. From the moment he stepped through that door, what he was thinking. His earlobes and the nape of his neck flushed hot in an instant. ‘It must be nice for you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, being so calculating and cold in everything you do.’ Was this what that meant? Damn it. He clenched his teeth to keep from swearing. Even his eyeballs stung.

Seo Juhyeok and he were standing on a scale right now. Standing at opposite ends, they were trying so desperately not to add any more of their respective emotions. Because the moment more weight was added, someone would be thrown down below and shattered into pieces. Ilyeong tried his best not to let any emotion into his voice.

“I came to beg you… to save me. I want to… make a deal.”

At the pressure he was emitting, even his eyelashes trembled helplessly. He did not add any other lengthy explanations, but he was confident that Seo Juhyeok would understand his words. Fortunately, instead of asking for a reason, Seo Juhyeok just raised his eyes.

“A deal.”

“Yes. A deal.”

To his relief, his voice came out calm, thanks to his efforts, which gave him some comfort. The moment he realized he was begging for his life from the person he had kissed, his mind became surprisingly cold.

He thought it was a relief that it was less miserable than he had expected. No. It might be a given. After all, the shameless blood of field mice, who always survive by clinging to the strong, flows under his skin. Blood cannot be denied.

“From the beginning……”

Seo Juhyeok, who seemed about to say something, clicked his tongue with an annoyed look.

“What do I get for agreeing to the deal?”

Ilyeong stared intently at the man’s face, which looked so arrogant it sent a chill down the nape of his neck. The fact that Seo Juhyeok’s mood had plummeted surprisingly made his skin tingle. Some kind of spark was being rekindled in his empty eyes.

Ilyeong knew those eyes very well. From the first time they met, on the deck, in the restaurant, in the empty hallway, he had always explored him with those eyes teeming with curiosity and lust. They were the eyes of a predator, desperate to see his very bottom.

Then he should give him what he wants. Ilyeong imperceptibly bit his tongue for a moment, then opened his mouth.

“There is one thing, is there not. Mr. Seo Juhyeok, do you not want my body.”

Seo Juhyeok was silent. His jet-black eyes, which had been so tense and sharp until a moment ago, were somewhat subdued. His clear eyes, with no residue of emotion left, watched Ilyeeong.

“So what are you suggesting.”

“……Should I suck you off. What we could not do last time.”

He did not know if that was the answer Seo Juhyeok wanted or not. The only thing for sure was that when he spat out those words, the atmosphere in the room froze colder than ever before.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, you just made another mistake.”

Seo Juhyeok murmured lowly. His chilling voice, which seemed to pierce through the top of his head, made it difficult to swallow. He felt like he was walking on a single-log bridge with a cliff below.

“The basis of a deal is… for each person to present what they want.”

“So clever. So you were only thinking of making a deal with me from the moment I said I wanted to fuck you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong?”

Ilyeong did not answer. He had no intention of defending himself with a long, drawn-out explanation. As he said, he was relieved and grateful that there was a way to survive in the relaxed demeanor he showed him. Although the point might be slightly different, the emotion he felt at that moment was certainly that.

“……Yes.”

Even if he had answered no, he would have seen through the lie and been angry. Seo Juhyeok’s fiercely sharp eyes shot up.

“You really piss me off. Go on then, do it.”

The eyes that met his curved. It had now become difficult to even distinguish between Seo Juhyeok’s mask and his bare face.

He did not know what spirit possessed him to move his legs. But when he came to his senses, Seo Juhyeok was leaning back languidly in the one-person sofa, and he was kneeling between his legs. The crotch of his pants, which had been messily disheveled on the day he first saw him on the deck, was now so neat and tidy that it was hard to lay a hand on it.

“What are you thinking so hard about.”

His shoulders trembled at the low, humid voice that suddenly pierced the top of his head. In the meantime, Seo Juhyeok had regained his composure.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, you do not seem used to this. If you want to stop now, you can.”

Click, along with the sound of a Zippo lighter being lit, a pungent smell spread quickly. It was marijuana. The senses hold more memories than one thinks.

Ilyeong tried to focus on the memory summoned by the sinkhole of that day, on the deck. He tried to forget the thought that he was selling his mouth to earn his life. He took a deep breath.

“No, I will do it. I am used to it.”

The thighs in his view twitched and tensed their muscles, but no further words followed. Only the musty smell unique to marijuana grew stronger.

Ilyeong reached for his pants. He ran his hand over the area where the outline was visible. The calculation that a quick erection would lead to a quick ejaculation spun in his mind even at a moment like this.

Could this have been read too? He was tense for a moment, but Seo Juhyeok remained silent. It was as if he was waiting to see what he would do. He fiddled with it clumsily, as if playing with his fingers, and when he thought the penis was sufficiently swollen, he reached his hand up further.

Clank, the sound of the belt unbuckling was as clear as the sound of the guillotine’s blue blade striking the sinner’s head. As he was unzipping his pants, a memory from a very long time ago suddenly surfaced.

The gloomy darkness of the trash village, the pungent salty and fishy smell, the stinging pain in his cheek, the laughter that rumbled in the small space, the few crumpled bills that were forcibly pushed through his fists. And then, the old man’s voice…

“You took the money, so you have sold your body now. Kwon Ilyeong, you are a whore.”

I see. I took the money, so I cannot take it back now. I sold my body…

Just like that day, the strength drained from his limbs and he became strangely calm. The moldy memory became prey to the son of a bitch and the winter wind and was slowly eaten away. The always annoying parasites sometimes did their part in this way. As his mind went blank, his heart, on the contrary, became more at ease.

“You are smiling. ……Why?”

Seo Juhyeok suddenly muttered. It was a moment of carelessness, so he completely forgot the promise he had just made and raised his head. His eyes met the jet-black pupils. Smiling. Me? He tried to check using his eyes as a mirror, but it was too faint, perhaps because of the distance.

Ilyeong had no choice but to awkwardly feel his own mouth. He had not even been aware of it, but the corners of his mouth were indeed slightly raised.

“Ah……. It is because I was thinking it was a relief.”

“What was.”

“That you are horny for my body, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

Seo Juhyeok frowned as if to ask what he was talking about all of a sudden. He did not feel like explaining. How could a man who had everything like that understand him, who had nothing but his body? Not only did he not have the innocence to talk about his first experience, but to save his life by sucking him off once, considering the past when he had received crumpled scraps of bills, he even thought it was a profitable deal. Ilyeong put strength into his fingertips and finished undressing him.

The menacingly erect cock shot up with a frightening momentum. The red thing, with its crookedly standing veins, wriggled like a snake and emitted a humid heat. When he cupped the base of the shaft, the piece of flesh twitched as if it were really alive and grew even larger. He had thought it was fully erect, but it seemed that was not the case.

He was a little at a loss. The size, thickness, and length were overwhelmingly incomparable to what he had seen while selling his throat in the trash village. Just looking at it already made his throat throb.

“If you want to smoke one, go ahead.”

“No.”

“Alright, then.”

Behind the urging not to delay any longer, click, he heard the sound of him turning his wrist to check his watch. There would not be much time left until the evening banquet started. He had to go back without being late so as not to arouse suspicion from Haoran and the messenger.

Ilyeong moved closer between Seo Juhyeok’s legs and sat down, then opened his mouth wide and took the tip into his mouth. Perhaps because he was not used to using his facial muscles much, the corners of his suddenly opened mouth felt stiff. He froze, unable to take it in further or spit it out, and frowned. He could not collapse here of all places.

He had no choice but to spit out what he had barely managed to stuff into his mouth, and lowered his head further. He held the piece of flesh in his hand and began to lick it meticulously from the scrotum up, using his tongue. He traced the menacingly bulging veins as if to count them, then went down so deep his nose brushed against the pubic hair, and repeated. Each time, the scent of the shower cologne he used faded and then grew stronger again. The penis, glistening with clear saliva, had a redder tint than before.

When he thought the muscles around his mouth had relaxed to some extent, he took the tip of the penis in his mouth again. He had not thought it would be easy, but in the meantime, it had swelled even more, making it just as difficult as the first time. He wrapped the glans with the soft mucous membrane inside his lips and licked it with his tongue outstretched.

“Mmm……”

Whether he was high on the drug or the sensation of the caress was good, Seo Juhyeok let out a low moan. Ilyeong closed his eyes and tried to focus on the ball of fire that was piercing into his mouth. The round tip pressed against the roof of his mouth and slowly began to enter his throat. Even with just the front part entering, his jaw muscles were already getting stiff and he was starting to suffocate.

Although he had sold his throat before, the entire process was usually done by the other party. In the one-sided and coercive process, Ilyeong’s will was almost completely excluded. So this situation where Seo Juhyeok had given him all the control was just awkward. He had boasted that he was used to it to arouse him, but by now, Seo Juhyeok must have realized. Such a clumsy blowjob.

Suddenly, something stroked the corner of his mouth at length. Ilyeong opened his eyes and looked up at him. With the marijuana between his fingers, he was looking down at Ilyeong with languidly dilated pupils.

Seo Juhyeok, instead of using his other hand, deliberately used the hand holding the marijuana to rub Ilyeong’s cheek. Every time he slowly rubbed it, as if to pull the corners of Ilyeong’s stiffly open mouth up over his cheek, the red light of the cigarette flickered at the edge of his vision. The pungent smoke hit his nose directly. His throat churned and instinctively tightened.

His mind began to become hazy. He felt the illusion of doing drugs together, face to face. As if to make him realize reality, the cock in his mouth swelled even more. The prominent veins pressed down on the roof of his mouth. Ilyeong, unable to even swallow the saliva that had pooled in his mouth, placed his tongue flat against the piece of flesh and rubbed it.

Only then did Seo Juhyeok withdraw his hand. He moved the cigarette, which had been nervously emitting smoke next to his face, back to his lips, still looking downcast.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

Hoo, he exhaled smoke like a sigh.

“This is not fun.”

Every time Seo Juhyeok spoke, the marijuana smoke rose like a heat haze. Ilyeong’s brain, who was smelling it alongside him, also became limp.

At the same time, the glans suddenly touched the narrowing part of his throat.

“……Cough!”

Ilyeong hastily spat out what was in his mouth and let out a cough. Clear saliva dripped down below his lips, but he had no room to compose himself. There was no part of him that was not stinging, from the corners of his mouth to the inside of his mouth and his throat. At the end of the hysterical coughs, a nonchalant voice was heard.

“You were so confident, is this all you got?”

Ilyeong raised his eyes, which must have been bloodshot. His eyeballs felt hot, as if they were being seared with fire. His vision became blurry, perhaps because of the tears that had welled up physiologically while coughing. Desperately trying not to close his eyes, he crawled back between his legs and grabbed the bobbing thing in his hand.

“Haah……. No way.”

Did he laugh at his snappy retort? Ilyeong swallowed his nausea, opened his mouth wide, and took the tip in again. He could clearly feel the tip scraping against the roof of his mouth as it entered. This being the third attempt, a path was quickly made inside his mouth, so it was not as difficult as the first time.

Despite his chattering as if he were bored, Seo Juhyeok’s penis steadily began to grow in size. The fluid that proved his excitement created a fishy taste in his mouth. As he made shallow back and forth movements and gradually went deeper, his jaw was soon trembling because of the penis that filled his mouth completely.

“If you cannot take it all the way in, you should at least tighten.”

Seo Juhyeok caressed the tip of Ilyeong’s chin and his cheek as if to soothe him. The way his hand patted his bulging cheek, tap tap, was, at a glance, even rude. Could this also be called a battle of wills, substituted as a scale?

Ilyeong, as if out of stubbornness, continued his jaw movements. When he took it in deep, he widened the inside of his mouth as much as possible, and when he let it out, he sucked it in as if holding his breath, repeating the process. His ears were filled only with the sound of his own breathing, and the sound of saliva, slurp slurp. The thoroughly soaked, tender flesh gently enveloped the penis, occasionally trembling as if in a spasm. Each time, Seo Juhyeok’s penis responded in kind, pressing down firmly on the roof of his mouth near his throat. The movement, which precariously pushed in and pulled out as if to enjoy the tightening pressure, gradually picked up speed.

“Take it in your mouth.”

Perhaps sensing that he was about to spit out the penis in his mouth, Seo Juhyeok muttered in a low voice. From his husky voice, he intuited that the end was near. Ilyeong sucked on the penis, making a shamelessly loud sound, smack, then held only the tip and pressed it with his tongue as if to dig into the split.

At the act of inducing ejaculation, the veins on Seo Juhyeok’s forearm, which was holding Ilyeong’s shoulder, stood out as clearly as the veins on his cock. At the same time, a hot liquid began to gush onto his tongue, gush gush. It was a quiet ejaculation, without even a common moan.

A fishy smell, on a different level from simply having the cock in his mouth, filled his bronchial tubes completely. Gag, a wave of nausea rose. As the penis that had finished ejaculating slipped out of his mouth, Ilyeong could not hold it in and gasped for breath, gasp gasp. Semen mixed with saliva poured out onto the carpet, drip drip. It was an astonishing amount, considering he had been holding it in.

“Hah… ugh.”

“You seem to be having a hard time.”

“Do I… have to spell it out…”

“Such a baby. You did not even swallow or open your throat.”

Seo Juhyeok smiled fishily and stubbed out the almost finished cigarette in the ashtray on the table. In reality, his penis was standing even more menacingly than before. Unlike the grotesque movement of it bobbing up and down, his upper body was still.

Ilyeong wiped the saliva flowing from the corner of his mouth and calmed his breathing. No sooner had his chest risen and fallen than Seo Juhyeok’s fingers dug into his hair.

Yank, his head was forcefully pulled up by his hair, which was grabbed so tightly it made his scalp tingle.

No way…….

“Your life is not worth just one blowjob. Let us finish this quickly while I am giving you a high price. This time, my way.”

He smiled so prettily, imitating the face of a kind merchant.

“If you are all rested, open your mouth.”

It was a statement that signaled a merciless beginning, as if the games were over.

As his head was tilted further back, Ilyeong’s lips naturally parted.

Seo Juhyeok slid his fingers into his open mouth. His firm fingertips ruthlessly swept and scratched the tender mucous membrane inside his mouth. At the end, he even hooked his fingers on the corners of his mouth like a hook, as if to gauge the width, and pulled.

Ilyeong grabbed Seo Juhyeok’s wrist to stop the chaotic movement.

“Are you going to do more?”

“Did we even do anything.”

No wonder he ejaculated so easily. His mouth was still full of a fishy smell, but Seo Juhyeok’s face was as solid as it had been at the beginning.

“The number of times… please set it.”

“The number of times.”

A flash of annoyance passed over his face as he repeated the words. Seo Juhyeok looked down at Ilyeong arrogantly, with a face devoid of a single smile.

“I am holding back because I feel like I will really treat you roughly if I set that, so stop talking. You have scraped on my nerves as much as possible, and you keep being so shameless.”

It was a threat. To move quickly before he really lost interest.

Ilyeong looked up at him and puckered his lips. Then, he moved the hand that was holding the penis, grabbed his veiny wrist, and moved his neck. As he carefully sucked his fingers one by one, as if he were sucking his penis, and rubbed them all together with his mucous membrane, Seo Juhyeok’s jet-black eyes deepened even more.

Ilyeong did not take his eyes off him once, as if to provoke him. Seo Juhyeok smirked, smirk, and then scraped the top of Ilyeong’s tongue with his fingers, which were sticky with saliva. It was so stimulating that the hair on his head stood on end and his body shivered, shiver shiver.

After spitting out the fingers, Ilyeong grabbed his penis again. He moved his tongue, on which the sensation of the fingers having passed still lingered, steadily. This time, he immediately put strength into the tip of his tongue and licked the red, prominent glans as if to dig into it. He pressed down on it as if stamping a seal, and slowly put it in his mouth. He had acted as if he would shove it in right away, talking about his throat, but fortunately, only the sound of his humid breathing could be heard.

He fixed his gaze on Seo Juhyeok’s crotch. And he tried to focus his mind only on the sensations of his jaw and the tip of his tongue. The penis was forced into his mouth, which was open to the point of being stiff. The way it endlessly swelled in volume was nothing short of vicious.

After swallowing as much as he could, he decided to use other means. As Seo Juhyeok had said, he could make him ejaculate faster if he used his throat, but the memory of the last time he had opened his throat was too distant. If he took that big thing into his narrow throat, it would surely become so sore that he would not even be able to speak properly. He still remembered vividly, to the point of shuddering, the sensation of it coming in as if to tear his throat by force.

He gathered his two hands and fumbled to grab the lower part that he could not take into his mouth, and Seo Juhyeok laughed, letting out a sound like air escaping. He was momentarily tense that he might tell him not to use his hands, but seeing that he was staying still for now, it seemed to mean that he would wait and see.

Ilyeong put strength into his fingers and shook the lower part in a slow rhythm. The shaft wriggled, radiating a hot heat. Then he spread his tongue wide and began to suck the penis like a candy. During the thrusting motion, he would suck it in strongly with his mucous membrane, then lick it as if to soothe it, repeating the process.

“Hah…….”

Seo Juhyeok let out a long breath. At that low breath, he remembered Seo Juhyeok talking about a fetish someday, and goosebumps rose on the nape of his neck.

Ilyeong ignored the heat gathering in his stomach. He found it ridiculous that he was reacting to that voice even in a situation like this. It was a moment when another reason to make Seo Juhyeok ejaculate quickly had been added.

Ilyeong tried to cool his head and set a pattern for his actions. He regulated his breathing naturally by slowly repeating the process of sucking it in deeply with his jaw tensed and letting it out loosely.

When it was difficult for it to go in deep, he soothed the angry penis by licking the split in the glans. He also applied irregular pressure to his fingers to persistently stimulate the lower part.

And after this……. His mind was spinning so much that he felt his eyeballs would roll. His pupils shook back and forth. He could not remember anything he had learned like a survival method in the trash village, about how to make the other person ejaculate faster. It seemed that the parasites in his brain earlier had eaten up all his memories without distinguishing between what to eat and what not to eat.

His head throbbed. In the process, his movements became clumsy. The set pattern was all messed up. The inside of his mouth was a pit of fire. He felt as if the flames from Seo Juhyeok’s penis had spread to him.

At that moment, his chin was grabbed from below.

“Next. It is your turn to swallow. You lick, then you suck, and after swallowing, you shake. Is that not the order?”

“……”

“You are making a fool of me to the end.”

It was a chilling voice, enough to make the skin on his back shiver, shiver shiver. His mind had been read completely. Seo Juhyeok’s single phrase made his heart lurch. His pupils shook uncontrollably and his fingertips trembled.

Seo Juhyeok watched his every move with eyes that had sunk even darker than before. A moment later, he murmured in a low, subdued voice.

“I will help you with the next step, so try to go all the way.”

Seo Juhyeok pulled his penis out of his mouth. As the thing that had been tightly blocking his mouth disappeared, his blocked breath was released all at once, and the tender mucous membranes screamed.

Before the tingling pain could even dull, Ilyeong was grabbed by the arm and staggered to his feet. Seo Juhyeok got up from the sofa and made Ilyeong sit with his back to the wall. Then he stood firm in front of him, completely unbuckled his belt, and took his penis out of his zipper.

Throughout the entire process, he never once took his eyes off Ilyeong. His two eyes were blazing, as if they were spewing fire. That was why his throat was tight. The inside of his dry mouth hurt to the point of being parched.

Ilyeong fumbled and grabbed his thigh. Under the smooth skin, his muscles rippled.

“Open your mouth.”

When he obediently opened his lips, Seo Juhyeok sneered. Clenching his teeth, he grabbed the lower part of his penis and forced the fully erect thing into Ilyeong’s mouth. It was unlike the person who had just been letting Ilyeong do as he pleased and observing him carefully.

Startled by the momentum, Ilyeong hastily pushed his thigh. Cough, a dry cough burst out, and the penis briefly pulled back. But no sooner had it swept over the tender mucous membrane inside his lips a few times than his neck was pulled back once again. He felt a frightening pulse from what he had swallowed, or perhaps it was just his imagination. A sense of pressure that was enough to suffocate him came over him unexpectedly.

“Gasp……”

It was a strong grip with no consideration. When Ilyeong let out a groan, Seo Juhyeok paused for a moment. And then, in that state, he mercilessly thrust his hips as if to pierce through to his throat.

The tip of it arbitrarily pressed against the narrow gap he had not wanted to open. The feeling of his throat, which had narrowed in tension, being forced open was terrible. He had not thought he would shove it in like this at will. He was short of breath, his face flushed red with heat, and the corners of his eyes grew hot.

Ilyeong, as if gasping for the insufficient breath, grabbed his thigh and looked up at him urgently.

“I have not even put it all in yet.”

The hard penis that had been shoved in recklessly stopped its brutish movements, but it did not pull out. However, the problem was not how much had been shoved in, but that he had not been able to secure a way to breathe in the sudden attack.

Ilyeong, as a sign of resistance, scratched the thigh with its firmly set muscles hard with his fingertips.

“Then why…”

The two eyes that met looked so deep that the shadows could not be distinguished. The hand that had been pressing on the back of his head loosened.

“Do you keep calculating things like that.”

“Gasp, sob, ah……”

Ilyeong turned his head and immediately spat out the penis. Then he bent over and coughed. The corner of his mouth tingled and his throat stung, perhaps from being stretched wrongly. Saliva stretched from his mouth in a long string and fell to the floor. A curse suddenly welled up.

“What is so wrong with that…….”

The trembling voice did not sound like his own at all. Short coughs were mixed in between his words. Ilyeong glared at Seo Juhyeok’s still emotionlessly subdued face.

“So what if I, am weighing my options, what business is it of yours. What did you expect from me.”

He curled his hands that were placed on the floor into fists. It was not just his pride that was crushed. Seo Juhyeok’s words were cutting his way of life to pieces moment by moment. This is why he had not wanted to give anyone an opening. Son of a bitch. Fucking bastard. Then what the hell do you want me to do. This is the life I have maintained until now.

Sorrow welled up and heat rushed to the tip of his nose, but Ilyeong tried not to cry. Instead, Ilyeong roughly wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and lifted his chin even more defiantly.

Seo Juhyeok sneers at him for being calculating in everything he does, but that is just ignorant talk. If that were really the case, he would not have sold his throat to feed the field mice in the trash village, and he would not have taken on troublesome things like the messenger and Haoran here.

Above all, he would have pretended not to know Seo Juhyeok from the very beginning. Because taking his hand would be a path leading straight to ruin.

Rather, Ilyeong wanted to cut out all the meager compassion from his life. It had always ruined his life. Let us live like humans, his father always said that like a habit, but the warmth shown by a penniless beggar was a sin. So am I being punished for that now……. Ilyeong laughed hollowly.

“You are calculating in everything you do too, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

His venomous tongue ran on endlessly, not knowing when to stop.

“That is why you do not have a single person on your side who is truly on your side.”

His stomach churned with the desire to scratch that seemingly indifferent face and create even a small crack. However, Seo Juhyeok just stared down at Ilyeong with a face as hard as plaster. As if Ilyeong’s words just now could not even make a small scratch on his perfection.

Ilyeong was so angry he was breathing hard, huff huff. The corner of his mouth must have been torn badly, as the fishy taste of blood lingered unpleasantly in his mouth. Spit, he gathered the saliva in his mouth and spat it out, and sure enough, it was mixed with blood. You are a real son of a bitch……. Muttering, he continued to rub and wipe his mouth roughly.

“Did you see me that way from the beginning, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

It was at that moment that Seo Juhyeok opened his mouth with a low, cracked voice.

“It must have been amusing. Everything a person with no one on his side does for you.”

There was no emotion whatsoever in his muttered words.

“If I were really being calculating with you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, there would be no reason for me to be doing this right now. I have been tearing this cruise apart like a madman for days. I was prepared for the plan I waited for 10 years for, with my eyes popping out, to be all messed up. Do you understand?”

“……”

“Once it passes through that precious mouth of yours, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, my sincerity becomes worth less than this scrap of paper.”

Ilyeong clenched his teeth, trying not to be swayed by Seo Juhyeok’s words. A crumpled piece of paper fell into his view, thud. It was a memo pad that was dry and reddish-black, as if it had been half-dipped in blood and then taken out. It was so crumpled, as if he had been holding it tightly the whole time, that at first, he could not even tell what it was. Through the open jaws of his fist, words like ‘White’ and ‘future well-being’ crumbled together. It was his handwriting.

“This is……”

“You seemed to trust Colonel Jamie so well, making a contract like this. I will not ask how you know about White, or where you got that drug. For a clever person like you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, it would not have been difficult to secure a way to live with something like this. Just like you are selling your throat to me now.”

The words, sharpened with the intent to hurt, were painful. He did not even dare to touch the blood-spattered paper. It was not difficult to guess the source of the blood. It must be Colonel Jamie.

Ilyeong squeezed his eyes shut. Seeing the blood made his mind even more distant. The scale of their battlefield was beyond common sense.

“Did you… kill Colonel Jamie.”

“No way.”

“Then now……”

“I do not know.”

“What.”

“It has been two days since that faithful dog of the Colonel’s, was it Chen, took him and ran.”

He was starting to run out of breath. He felt like he would go crazy with anxiety. Jamie was hiding his body somewhere on this cruise. What he was after was White, and the heretic of the 5th evacuation zone who had it, Kwon Ilyeong.

“……Was what you did to Colonel Jamie also not in your plan, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

His voice sounded pathetic. He lifted his gaze, which had been fixed on the paper. Seo Juhyeok, whose eyes met his, smiled faintly.

“Well. What do you think, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

Putting the other person to the test like this was also proof that he was superior. The weight of the scale had tilted to his side. In the end, it would be him who would be thrown down below.

Ilyeong averted his gaze. He felt like he knew the answer, but he absolutely did not want to say it out loud. Because if he did, it felt like he could not take it back. So he decided to ask the sharpest and most cunning question he could.

“Do you regret it?”

It was a question he had asked him once before. Seo Juhyeok smiled fishily, as if he had been hit where it hurts.

“No.”

The hand that caressed his ear and cheek was so gentle that it made him want to believe his answer blindly.

“So stop provoking me.”

He tried not to think too hard about the meaning contained in Seo Juhyeok’s mumble. He slowly closed his eyes. The hand that had been tracing his lips once again dug into them urgently. And then, it was darkness.