Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 104

“Affection?”

“It is affection…”

“Love.”

“…”

Having reached the deepest part of his emotions after just three questions, Heeheon’s lips twitched.

Cha Moogyul only asked, and Baek Heeheon did all the answering. He felt it was a bit unfair to lay everything bare. In truth, he still needed courage.

Fidgeting, not knowing what to do, Heeheon swallowed his dry saliva and whined at him.

“What about you. What are you?”

Does Cha Moogyul think he’s the only one who’s anxious?

Baek Heeheon was dying for confirmation too. He was filled with a deep-seated resentment.

It had been eight whole years.

Eight long years…!

If he could just get one word from him, he would feel like he had the whole world. He felt like he could overcome a hundred, a thousand fights after that.

So be it. To be completely honest, getting spanked on the ass a little? Whether it was humiliating or shameful, it didn’t matter. He was past that stage. From the moment he coveted his own younger brother, Baek Heeheon had felt sinful. Immoral and unhealthy. Who cares if anyone sees? They could do something indecent in a hospital room. Even if they get caught and his reputation is completely ruined, and he can never show his face again. Even if the world turns against him and points fingers. Even if his heart is torn to shreds, and he is plunged into miserable, profound sorrow. Even if he’s so afraid he loses sleep every night from nightmares, so agonizingly pained, and so antsy with impatience his eyes spin. Cha Moogyul… still, Cha Moogyul.

If he would just confirm.

One thing.

Then…

“Is it a relationship?”

Heeheon asked, carrying the weight of the past.

Cha Moogyul answered, carrying the weight of the future.

“It is, a relationship.”

“Affection?”

“An obsession-like affection.”

“Love…”

“I do, as you can see.”

His eyes grew hot, and a surging emotion filled his chest. It rushed in all at once, as if suffocating him.

Heeheon tried hard to hold it back, but the emotion was stronger than him, and he couldn’t bring himself to speak, his breath trembling.

The crack of dawn. There was only darkness with no light coming in from anywhere, yet it felt as if a complete sun had risen inside Heeheon’s body. The sun, which comes closest in the pure-white season of winter, opened a new horizon with the sunrise. Everything was bright. As if night would never come again. The sounds of the world faded for a moment, and he was completely soaked in the joy of this moment alone. It was a liberation and a confinement at the same time.

Overwhelmed with emotion and choking up, Heeheon struck Cha Moogyul’s shoulder with his tightly clenched fist. He hit him, raised his arm again, and struck him once more, letting it all out.

“But… then why, why on earth, did you throw my ring!”

“What?”

“The ring, why did you throw it away.”

Even as Heeheon punched him with all his might, he didn’t dodge at all. It didn’t seem to hurt. He held Heeheon with his whole body as if they were completely stuck together, their faces pressed against each other.

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

What should I do? What should I do? He wondered if Cha Moogyul would be flustered if he burst into tears now. Heeheon squeezed his stinging eyes shut and bumped his forehead against his hard chest. The vortex of emotions grew, refusing to cease. It swelled immensely, raging like a natural disaster.

“Find it.”

“You want to find that?”

“Then would I just leave it thrown away like that? It’s a ring with your name on it, that…”

At those words, Cha Moogyul let out a dry laugh. Then, he placed a hand on the back of Heeheon’s head, slid his fingers into his hair, and took a couple of deep breaths. It felt like he could hear his own rapid heartbeat.

“Then why did you take it off and disappear. The ring with my name on it.”

“I told you, it was because of the check-up. What was I supposed to do in that situation?”

“Are you asking me for a solution?”

He was in no state to distinguish whether it was his own heartbeat or Cha Moogyul’s. The sun was bright, it was night but it was day, it was winter, it was the white night… He had no regrets even if he were to die right now.

He didn’t know why Cha Moogyul, who had always been as cool and unique as a desolate night, was now so breathtakingly bright.

“You should have contacted me.”

“Contacted you…”

“I put an ID tag around your neck. I put a phone in your palm. What. Not enough? Should I give you more?”

“No, that’s… contacting you.”

Is that so. I didn’t think of that.

He had never contacted Cha Moogyul personally before. He had only ever received guiding calls. It was safe to say that the idea of contacting him first didn’t even exist. As Heeheon stood there blankly, as if he hadn’t thought of it at all, Cha Moogyul burst into laughter repeatedly, as if he couldn’t even be bothered to be exasperated, and frowned. As if that wasn’t enough, he grabbed Heeheon’s butt tightly with his hand and growled.

“Should I just get a tattoo? Maybe.”

“No. No… I’ll contact you. I will from now on.”

“Oh? You promise?”

“Yeah. I will.”

“You’ll be in trouble.”

“I’m serious, I’ll definitely do it.”

Heeheon broke into a cold sweat and made a firm promise.

Is he serious about the tattoo…? Or is it a warning…?

He didn’t know his true intentions, but he felt that if Cha Moogyul continued to insist on a tattoo, there was no reason he couldn’t get one on his body. A couple tattoo… if he thought of it as a permanent bond, there was no reason he couldn’t do it. It was embarrassing, but he thought they could probably discuss things like the design, size, and location together. Even if not, at least a tattoo wasn’t something Cha Moogyul could just throw away in a fit of anger.

“Good boy. That’s how it should be.”

Cha Moogyul hugged the contemplative Heeheon and patted his back. He praised him as if soothing a child and curved his glinting, piercing eyes into a wide smile. The long, curved eye smile was clearly visible even in the dark.

Heeheon held his breath. He felt strange. Just a moment ago, he had been violently swept up, tormented, and resentful, but now, as if none of that had ever happened, he felt himself becoming soft and puffing up uncontrollably. He was floating up, about to fly away.

The ring that had been missing from his left ring finger safely returned to its place, and Heeheon was also safely discharged from the hospital and returned home.

He stretched his stiff body from having missed training while hospitalized, tended to his neglected firearms, and after that, he was dragged to the dining table by the eager hands of Cha Moogyul. With his shirt sleeves rolled up and an apron tied around his waist, he exuded not the scent of musky wood, but a delicious, appetizing smell.

“Time to eat. When are you going to put on some weight.”

A grand feast, filled with meat dishes, was spread out on the massive 12-person table. It was so dazzling with all sorts of dishes, both Eastern and Western, that his eyes spun.

Tenderloin steak with herb butter, lamb cutlets drizzled with red wine sauce, medium-rare T-bone steak with truffle oil, crispy bok choy with Peking duck, bubbling bulgogi hot pot, and even Wagyu tataki with yuzu sauce.

‘Who’s going to eat all this…’

Faced with the surreal scene, Heeheon was at a loss for words. The fact that Cha Moogyul had cooked all of this himself was unbelievable, even knowing it, and it was even harder to believe that he had prepared such an elaborate meal for the sole purpose of fattening up Baek Heeheon.

“…Are we having a party?”

Heeheon muttered dazedly as he pulled out a chair and sat down. Cha Moogyul also pulled out a chair next to him and sat down. He had always sat across from him, or diagonally, but today was the first time he sat next to him.

“Eat as much as you want. There’s dessert too.”

“Dessert too?”

“Lemon sorbet.”

Wow…

At this point, he thought it would be better to just stop thinking. Heeheon picked up his chopsticks and hesitated among the delicious delicacies, each boasting a splendid appearance, before picking up a beautifully cut piece of T-bone steak and eating it.

The rich aroma unique to truffle oil and the deep flavor of the beef harmonized in his mouth. The moist juices that burst forth and the perfect texture left him nothing but amazed.

“It’s delicious.”

To put it another way, he felt like he was being treated to a lavish meal.

Heeheon moved his chopsticks and this time picked up a piece of Peking duck. Watching him chew with satisfaction, he served a portion of the hot bulgogi hot pot onto Heeheon’s plate. He even blew on it to cool it down for him, which made Heeheon ask a slightly awkward question.

“But I’m curious, have I lost that much weight…? Do I look strange?”

“That’s not it.”

“Then.”

“Just stop getting sick. You’re always lying down sick at every opportunity. Okay?”

“Didn’t you once say you were starting to enjoy taking care of a patient?”

“Washing and feeding you is enjoyable. You constantly being sickly is a loss.”

A loss…?

Heeheon looked at him quizzically, then fell silent after spotting his explicit gaze. On the surface, they were just cool black eyes, but a vivid passion was intertwined in his gaze. If that was what he meant, then Heeheon felt it wasn’t that he was sickly, but that Cha Moogyul’s stamina or vigor was excessive, but no words came out.

“Just eat your fill and swallow.”

“Uh, okay…”

Heeheon just diligently spooned up the bulgogi hot pot broth that he had cooled for him. The deep, rich umami flavor was excellent. It felt like it was warming his body and soul.