Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 48

Heeheon’s expression, left alone in the bed, gradually clouded over. His eyebrows curved downwards, and a look of distress settled on his face.

The emotions that had been hidden in the shade when Cha Moogyul was beside him slowly revealed themselves now that he was gone and Heeheon was left alone in the bedroom. Heeheon’s face began to contort wretchedly, bit by bit.

“Ha…”

Heeheon let out a hollow, powerless laugh. The dry exhale echoed mournfully in the quiet bedroom.

Bathed in the warm morning sunlight and wrapped in a cozy blanket, Heeheon tasted bitter despair. He drained the strength from his body, which had been stiff with tension, and languidly gazed up at the ceiling. Staring at the pure white ceiling, he slowly blinked his eyes.

‘It hurts.’

The single moment he had prayed would be an eternity had ended as of yesterday. Heeheon had been pulled down from the dreamlike heavens and returned to a cold, harsh reality, and now it was time to plant both feet on barren ground and think about the future.

Perhaps because his head had cleared after a night’s sleep, he could now see reality a little more clearly. Not some vain expectations or futile hopes. The truth laid out before Heeheon’s eyes stood out.

Naturally, the truth Heeheon had to face was miserable and cruel.

‘Cha Moogyul… he seems to be showing some kind of pointless obsession with me, perhaps not even knowing it’s because of guiding…’

Sleeping in the same bed was suspicious, as was wrapping his arms around his waist, and moreover, his talk of a leash was quite doubtful. The fact that he had started to touch Heeheon without hesitation must be in the same context.

To be frank, spending the night with him and waking up together in the morning was the very situation Heeheon had so longed for and dreamed of. However, as things stood now, Heeheon could not expect anything special from his actions. He shouldn’t.

‘This isn’t right.’

Cha Moogyul is different from Baek Heeheon. Naturally.

Baek Heeheon’s feelings are a long-held affection, worn and weathered.

Cha Moogyul’s feelings are an impulsive and easy lust.

It was nothing more and nothing less than the desire built up from the guiding he experienced for the first time, spurring him to want and covet Baek Heeheon. That was all it was: he had come to feel a certain kind of lust for Heeheon, and a revulsion stemming from it, at the same time. His feelings lacked the depth that Heeheon’s had.

‘The way he touches me without hesitation and invades my personal space is because he thinks of me as easy. If he liked me like I do… if the other person was meaningful, he would never dare to do that…’

In fact, Baek Heeheon had always been scared. Every time he faced Cha Moogyul, he worried what he would do if their eyes happened to meet. As great as his desire to touch him was, he was that much more cautious about touching. He worried about him, worried about himself, and suffered so much that he developed a neurosis and stomachaches.

Being scared was a natural part of daily life for Heeheon. He had felt like he was sinning with every breath for desiring his younger brother. It had always been like that until now.

‘It was only special to me. To that bastard…, haha.’

The first time. That was meaningful and significant only to Baek Heeheon. There would have been no shortage of bed partners for a handsome bastard like Cha Moogyul. And it was a given that they would have been overflowing with peerless beauties. If he set his mind to it, he might have played around, changing them daily according to his tastes. Therefore, there was no way he would place any other meaning on a physical relationship.

‘It’s okay. I knew it would be like this anyway.’

Let’s not be disappointed.

There is no need to be disheartened.

At most, it’s just a return to the beginning.

To the time when Cha Moogyul was Cha Moogyul, and Baek Heeheon was Baek Heeheon. Like parallel lines that never cross, without any hope. To that beginning where Baek Heeheon had to endure it all alone…

‘Don’t be swayed. You’ve gone through this over and over again.’

Again and again. So sickeningly that it felt like he would vomit blood.

‘I am a guide, and I am with Cha Moogyul to provide the guiding he needs. Because, this time for sure, I myself have decided to do so.’

Baek Heeheon is not Cha Moogyul’s lover, just a mere guide who will pass by for a short time. To use an analogy, a professional colleague, a contract-based business partner. He had resolved to live that way. So there was no need to despair over something like this now.

Baek Heeheon is a guide, and Cha Moogyul is Baek Heeheon’s esper.

He has the right to receive proper guiding.

If he confuses guiding and tries to act outside the regulations… Baek Heeheon must…

‘This time for sure, I must stop him properly. As his guide.’

Heeheon staggered as he threw off the blanket and got up. His overworked body felt limp and drained, but he was not in a relaxed enough state to focus on the weight of his flesh at the moment.

Heeheon took a slow, deep breath, opened a drawer, and took out some clothes. He wanted to shed the shower gown Cha Moogyul had put on him. Changing his clothes wouldn’t make his deep body wash scent disappear, but that was all Heeheon could do right now. As he untied the gown’s waist tie and tried to put on a white T-shirt, the red and purple bruises on his chest came into view. Looking now, his whole body was a mess here and there.

Heeheon let out a drained, hollow laugh and pulled the T-shirt over his head. As he slipped his legs into a pair of cotton pants, he recited prime numbers out of habit. One by one, trying to control his violently turbulent, wretched heart. However, not a single number came to mind in his pitch-black head.

Only someone’s intense gaze came to mind.

It was as if he had been completely devoured and erased by him.

A spacious 12-person dining table.

A cold lemon sorbet with a fine layer of ice crystals was placed before Baek Heeheon’s eyes. Presented in a crystal goblet, its appearance was beautiful and fantastic. It was even decorated with an apple mint leaf on top.

“Eat.”

He lightly tapped the table with his fingertips, making a sound.

Heeheon stared blankly at the pure white lemon sorbet with an incredulous look before slowly sitting down at the table. Cha Moogyul was sitting diagonally across from him. He reached out, took a dessert spoon, and gently scooped some sorbet into his mouth.

The fresh flavor of lemon, a crunchy, crisp texture, and a pleasantly cool, cold temperature brushed against the inside of his mouth and then vanished, melting away like snow. It was flawless and perfect.

It was Baek Heeheon’s preference, the very lemon sorbet he had wanted to eat.

However, perhaps because of that, it was even more so. It was blissful when it entered his mouth, but since it melted away in an instant, only an unavoidable sense of regret and disappointment remained. It was like a fleeting one-night stand that vanishes in a moment.

The color drained from Heeheon’s face, leaving it dark. Even while eating the sweet sorbet, his expression was bitter.

“Hyung.”

Cha Moogyul slowly reached out his hand. It seemed to brush against Heeheon’s cheek, and then he wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb.

“You got some on you.”

“…Oh.”

Heeheon flinched and pulled his neck back. He quickly wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, but nothing came off. He wasn’t a child; there was no way he would get food on himself at his age…

‘Is he doing this on purpose.’

Heeheon tightened his grip on the spoon. A sigh escaped him.

Cha Moogyul watched Heeheon persistently. It felt as though a hole would be bored into Heeheon’s face. He once again began to leisurely tap the wooden table with his fingertips. Tap, tap, the same sound came out in a regular rhythm.

After a moment, Cha Moogyul dryly announced something. His voice was quite threatening.

“A thought just came to me.”

His gaze was pouring down relentlessly onto Heeheon’s face. His characteristically cool and sensual gaze felt particularly heavy and agonizing at this moment.

“Maybe it would be better to actually tie you up… or lock you up.”

At those words, the movement of his spoon slowed. The roundly shaped sphere of sorbet was melting inside the crystal goblet.

“How random. Why are you making threats like that.”

Heeheon quietly bit the inside of his mouth. It had been a while since he had gnawed on it, so no sores had formed, but one might form again at this rate.

“Because, it seems like you won’t be able to handle it.”

Cha Moogyul reached out his hand again and poked Heeheon’s white cheek. Then, he rubbed and played with his soft earlobe. Heeheon, with a displeased, contorted face, surrendered his ear and put the spoon in his mouth.

“If I do it as much as I feel like, you… would you last a month, at best?”

“What…”

“Fucking.”

What?

A quiet smile appeared on Cha Moogyul’s lips. His jet-black eyes glinted faintly and wrapped around Baek Heeheon like chains.

“Especially since you loathe and detest me so terribly, it would be natural.”

At the unexpected answer, Heeheon’s shoulders stiffened. The arm that had been scooping the lemon sorbet stopped dead. Cha Moogyul leisurely pulled on Heeheon’s hand. He took away the dessert spoon held in his hand, scooped up some lemon sorbet, and brought it to Heeheon’s lips.

“Here, ah.”

“…”

“Take it. Before it melts.”

Cha Moogyul pressed Heeheon’s lower lip with the spoon. The soft, rosy lip changed its shape as he pressed. Heeheon moved his lips to say no, but Moogyul immediately pushed the spoon deep into his mouth and made him bite down on it. The moment it touched his tongue, the sorbet melted and disappeared.

“Are you messing with me now? Cha Moogyul, get a grip.”

Heeheon resolutely pushed his hand away, swallowed his bewilderment, and managed to argue back.

“If you keep holding onto me and acting like this, all I can say is to restrain yourself. Follow the regulations.”

“Regulations?”