Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 96

…Huh?

Heeheon quickly raised his head. His face, held in Cha Moogyul’s hand, was frozen in surprise. An old memory that had been fading into the recesses of his mind suddenly came back to him. That summer day, blazing like it was on fire.

<What about you. What’s this new project of yours? What are you going to do.>

<What does it look like I’m doing, in your eyes, hyung?>

<Propaganda.>

<Then I guess I’m doing that.>

Back then, Cha Moogyul had definitely deferred his answer.

<You’ll find out when the time comes anyway.>

<…….>

<Later.>

There was a moment like that, which he had just let pass. Heeheon hadn’t tried to pry into it either.

It had been lying dormant and quiet beneath the surface, only to rise again now.

“The new government is wary of the current special residential district’s excessive centralization.”

Cha Moogyul pulled Heeheon’s face closer, holding him near so he couldn’t escape, and met his eyes. There wasn’t the slightest waver in his cold, pouring gaze. He was sharply furious. At the fact that Heeheon had dared, even for a brief moment, to consider leaving his grasp.

“It’s because the number of high-grade Awakeners has increased and the military force under the Central Military Command has become excessively strong.”

“……”

“As a result, they’ve moved to establish a second branch center in the general residential district.”

“…Wait, they’re building another branch?”

“Yes. A base to decentralize the Awakeners.”

The decentralization of the Center.

“And I am the representative face of that effort.”

The reason he needed the absolute support of civilians. The reason Cha Moogyul had continued his work with Moosan Group. The reason Brigadier General Kang Joongmo had groveled as if he were his right-hand man.

Cha Moogyul was an indispensable figure in the establishment of the second branch.

“I secured control of the second branch on the condition that I provide land and buildings owned by Moosan Group and shape public opinion. Filling the positions with people to my liking is so simple it makes me yawn.”

“……”

“From now on, I will never have to go to the front lines again. I won’t need to kill creatures, either. Since I won’t be using my ability, the imbalance won’t accumulate to a significant degree.”

“……”

“In that case, there’s theoretically no problem with an A-rank being my dedicated guide.”

If he doesn’t use his ability, the imbalance won’t accumulate steeply.

If the imbalance doesn’t build up past a certain point, there is no need for high-grade guiding to resolve it.

Indeed, if what he said was true, Baek Heeheon might be able to continue performing Cha Moogyul’s guiding. But, even so…

“You’re saying you won’t use your ability…?”

When he possessed so much power.

When he was a born S-rank.

Even though he trained every day, and saved the 3rd District in an instant…

“Never again, from now on… for the rest of your life…?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you… go that far.”

Heeheon’s mouth twisted in confusion. He couldn’t quite grasp why Cha Moogyul could speak so decisively, his resolve or will not resonating with him. Every Awakener belongs to the Center, goes to the battlefield, and fights creatures. They protect and save people. They live with a sense of mission, pride, and destiny to do so.

Only now had Heeheon finally developed such a purpose. To genuinely face and lead this life. All thanks to none other than Cha Moogyul.

“Don’t tell me, it’s because of me…?”

It was a power that the vast majority could not obtain no matter how desperately they wished for it. Being an S-rank Esper was an absolute, powerful, and immense force that could save or destroy a nation. Under his will, humanity could prosper or fall.

The 3rd Residential District was an example. The bright white night—Cha Moogyul was an undeniable hero who had saved countless lives, the chosen and special one, and yet, he was overlooking what had been given to him. Far from being special, it was merely a useful tool and means to an end for him.

“From the very beginning, that was my only goal.”

Cha Moogyul let out a smirk. It was a pleasant voice, but it was utterly chilling. He was as composed and steadfast as if he had planned this from the start.

“The only way to reunite with you across the barrier was to awaken, and by a stroke of luck, the timing was right and I manifested as an Esper, and things went remarkably smoothly…”

“……”

“It’s progressing faster than planned, but this is a passing grade. My ability is no longer necessary for me.”

“……”

“It has no more use.”

At those words, he felt as if something was crumbling.

The sky that had been positioned above a floating Heeheon came crashing down—rumble—in an instant, like a hailstorm. His chest ached. Unlike the pain felt from an over-taxed core, this was purely a backlash of loss that Heeheon himself felt.

“…That’s ridiculous.”

“Why.”

“But, that can’t be…”

“Why are you making that face.”

Cha Moogyul’s thumb slowly pressed against and traced Heeheon’s lower lip. The deathly pale lip was trembling.

He was at a complete loss as to how he should explain this feeling to Cha Moogyul, what he should say. He didn’t know if he would understand even if he told him, there was no suitable solution, and it just felt empty.

Buried at the end of a dizzying vortex of thoughts, Heeheon muttered with an uncertain expression. Even he found it difficult to clearly articulate the logic behind the sense of loss and regret he was feeling. All of this was sudden and riddled with contradiction.

“I… this isn’t what I wanted.”

“I wanted it.”

He wants Cha Moogyul.

So much so that he could devote his entire life to him. He had wept with sorrow and joy that he could finally open up and be with him. But.

“…Then there’s no meaning in us living as Awakeners.”

“We were originally non-Awakeners.”

“But now…”

“What’s the problem. You said you liked me. You said you don’t regret it.”

“……”

“Baek Heeheon is my guide. Even if he never guides me once.”

“This is the reconstruction site of the 3rd Residential District. In front of the transmission tower, which has become a landmark, the area is crowded day after day with people paying tribute to Esper Cha Moogyul and Guide Baek Heeheon. Although there was significant damage, the residents’ expressions are bright.”

Sitting on the hospital bed, Heeheon stared blankly at the TV screen. A familiar landscape appeared in the background of the live news broadcast.

Around the soaring transmission tower, people dressed in black had gathered, forming long lines to pray, placing items like flowers and letters in front of it. Civilians who cannot enter the special residential district have no other way to express their respect for Awakeners.

The people praising and praying were reverent, solemn, and above all, sublime. Even with the barrier in the way, their heartfelt gratitude was so overwhelming that it was enough to make one gasp.

The field reporter requested an interview with people in the line, and a little girl with bandages on her head and arm appeared on screen, smiling. Speaking excitedly into the microphone in a youthful voice, the girl’s eyes shone with a brilliance that was heartbreaking to see.

“I’m Oh Yulbin from 2nd grade, class 2 at Sesang Elementary. I totally cried my eyes out watching Guide Heeheon’s guiding video. He’s so cool and amazing and awesome, so I wanted to give him a letter, so I stayed up all night writing this. I wanted to join the Heeheoning fan club too, but the server crashed so they said I have to wait a week.”

“Yes, Yulbin. It looks like you were hurt a little. Is your injury okay?”

“I’m okay. The hospital said it’ll all heal except for a small scar. I said I hoped the scar would be shaped like a lightning bolt, and they stitched it up pretty, in the shape of a lightning bolt.”

“A lightning bolt shape, that’s amazing. How about it, mother?”

“Oh my, no. The doctor must have been joking with Yulbin… The kid kept whining that she likes blue lightning.”

…Haaaah.

Heeheon let out a long sigh and turned off the TV with the remote. The screen went black, and the white noise cut out.

The silence was heavy. His head was spinning and his breath caught in his throat, making him feel nauseous. Curling up into a ball, Heeheon buried his face in a pillow. The thin, light hospital gown rustled and crumpled.

Cha Moogyul had briefly stepped out to give work-related instructions to Secretary Jo, leaving Heeheon alone in the large private room. It seemed the sudden trip to the hospital ward had caused a hitch in his work. Since he’d said he was leaving the Center to go home, it would probably be quite some time before he returned to the ward.

‘It’s for the best.’

Heeheon pulled the blanket over himself with a complicated look. It was a relief that Cha Moogyul wasn’t by his side. Although his desire to be with him was as strong as ever, at least for now, it was difficult to face him.

<You’re saying you won’t use your ability…?>

<Never again, from now on… for the rest of your life…?>

<…Then there’s no meaning in us living as Awakeners.>

<We were originally non-Awakeners.>

It was not an unfamiliar pattern for Baek Heeheon’s will to be thwarted by Cha Moogyul. Until now, all sorts of conditions, situations, and relationships had crushed Heeheon flat and sent him wandering in circles. He thought he had finally secured his place by Cha Moogyul’s side, but even so, he wasn’t completely stable.

In fact, it was the opposite.