Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 97

This is supposed to be a new beginning, the first step toward a distant future…

‘Is this really the right path…?’

Baek Heeheon chose Cha Moogyul and Cha Moogyul also chose Baek Heeheon, so they should just look at each other and that’s the end of it…

‘Is that really right?’

To hell with duty and all that, setting aside being an Awakener or an S-rank, since we were originally non-Awakeners, is it okay to dismiss the Esper’s ability and the guide’s guiding as useless in the face of each other’s existence?

Is it really okay to abandon the title of a national hero, the pouring praise, and even the hearts of the people cheering loudly, and just give up like this… Is it okay because they can always be together?

‘Cha Moogyul becomes an Esper who doesn’t use his ability, and I become a guide who doesn’t guide. Satisfied just by holding onto and restraining each other…’

To think that the conclusion for Baek Heeheon and Cha Moogyul, the beyond that he had crossed with such desperate sobs, would be like this.

‘I don’t know.’

No, actually, I don’t think so. I think it’s wrong.

To throw everything away and run. That alone. It was the very same detestable act, riddled with past mistakes, that Baek Heeheon had resolved never to choose again.

Right now, Heeheon felt like a student who had picked the wrong answer and was hesitating to correct his answer sheet. He knew this path was wrong, but that didn’t mean he knew how to change the answer and resubmit it, or what the correct answer was. Heeheon was just at a complete loss.

‘The problem is that even I am confused.’

Because there was no way Baek Heeheon would want to leave him.

When he imagined Cha Moogyul getting another guide, even though he knew that was the reality that should happen, deep down his heart was torn to shreds. The thought that some guide, who stood on the high ground of S-rank that Heeheon could not reach, would have skin-to-skin contact with Cha Moogyul and, in an emergency, perhaps even mucous membrane contact.

Even while clearly recognizing the fact that guiding as an Awakener and physical contact as a lover were different, it was only natural to feel an instinctive revulsion. Moreover, guiding clouds an Esper’s reason and incites their instincts.

It was absolutely dreadful to think of Cha Moogyul revealing his raw desire for guiding in front of some other guide and pouncing on them.

‘Still, I was prepared for it.’

He had thought it was a pain he would naturally have to accept and carry for the rest of his life someday, and he had been preparing himself for it. Not like Cha Moogyul, who made a perfect plan to exclude the possibility of them being separated in the first place.

From the beginning, Cha Moogyul had laid down a firm and unshakeable railway in front of Heeheon, and had completely eliminated any escape routes so that Heeheon had no choice but to follow those rails. Heeheon was now in a situation where he had no other options, even if he wanted to try picking a different answer.

‘Even if I say I want to quit being his dedicated guide, Cha Moogyul wouldn’t let me go. As always, the right to decide is in Cha Moogyul’s hands…’

Reality is always too cruel.

<I’m not good at sharing.>

<To be honest, I’ve never even considered it.>

<Still. Share with me. Don’t just come to conclusions and make decisions all by yourself…>

He didn’t know why he had to face such a bitter reality so soon after they had that conversation. Couldn’t he have remained soaked in a sweet dream for just a little longer?

If the problem of their rank difference hadn’t come to a head, they might have been sipping celebratory drinks together with Cha Moogyul and getting drunk by now.

He might have been able to learn all the little things, like how much Cha Moogyul could drink, what his habits were when he was drunk, if his expression softened or if he turned red…

‘Fuck…’

The more he thought about it, the more his irritation grew.

Why was Baek Heeheon just an A-rank guide?

If Heeheon had been an S-rank, he would have had the confidence to persuade him. To unfold their will together as Awakeners and achieve something. No, in the first place, there would have been no need to make an unavoidable choice because of their rank difference.

But as long as Baek Heeheon was currently an A-rank, if he wanted to live intensely as an Awakener, he had no choice but to guide Espers other than Cha Moogyul. Espers who were also A-rank or below, to whom he could provide meaningful guiding.

‘Why is it already turning out like this?’

Usually, late bloomers train for at least one to three years. Cha Moogyul too. Wouldn’t it have been good if he had just filled up a year, no more, no less? Was there really a need to grow this fast?

The whole universe already knows how great Cha Moogyul is. That bastard who’s great all on his own even when he’s just sitting still. It’s not like anyone is chasing him, so why the hell…!

‘How long has it been since you awakened, and you’re already leaving me behind.’

Heeheon clenched his teeth tightly. As he was lost in all sorts of impulsive thoughts, a sudden, hollow laugh escaped him.

‘Ha, I’m so pathetic.’

He found himself, pointlessly venting his anger at Cha Moogyul, so absurd and unpleasant that it felt like the flesh all over his body was rotting and turning black. When in fact, he was the one holding him back. He didn’t know who he was pointing his finger at.

‘At least Cha Moogyul is consistent.’

<From the very beginning, that was my only goal.>

Cha Moogyul’s will is Baek Heeheon.

It was so in the beginning, and it is so in the end.

‘And me… what is my will, then?’

Baek Heeheon lacked a center as solid as Cha Moogyul’s. That was the root of all his problems. Just as Cha Moogyul had his own answer, Heeheon’s top priority was to find his own. Only then did he feel he could shout to Cha Moogyul that the answer he presented was wrong, that there was a path outside the rails he had laid, and that they should go there together.

“First Lieutenant Baek Heeheon.”

Just then, a knock sounded along with a call that broke his train of thought. The sliding door to the hospital room opened slightly, and an administrative staff member on duty delivered a notice.

“You have a detailed examination scheduled for 3 o’clock. Please go to Examination Room 4 and wait.”

“Ah, yes.”

“Before you go, please remove all precious metals except for your identification tag. You must only wear the patient gown.”

“I understand.”

The administrative staff member, who had delivered the notice in a business-like tone, left in a hectic rush. It was likely because the number of Awakeners flocking to the hospital ward had surged due to the recent all-out mobilization in the 3rd Residential District. Although Cha Moogyul had wiped out all the creatures, it seemed the damage was extensive.

‘…Hoo, let’s get up for now.’

Heeheon let out a breath that was not just complicated but restless, and kicked off the blanket. He slipped on the patient slippers, stood up, and clenched his fists awkwardly.

‘Precious metals.’

The platinum ring, making its presence known in his tightly curled left palm, pressed firmly against his skin.

It was just a procedure for a detailed examination, and he would only be taking it off for a moment, but a subtle hesitation came first. Above all, the fact that he had to remove the ring while Cha Moogyul was away bothered him.

It hadn’t been long since they had talked about how he’d be scolded or get angry if he took the ring off…

And on top of that, at a time when his mind was so troubled…

He really didn’t want to take it off.

Still, there was nothing he could do.

Heeheon fidgeted with his left hand. For a long while, he tenderly traced the platinum ring shining on his ring finger with his fingertips, before finally, slowly, taking it off.

The engraving that read ‘Gyeol’ moved away and the ring slipped completely off his finger.

It was a small comfort that an indentation was left on his skin in the shape of the ring.

‘It won’t disappear while I’m at the examination, right?’

Swallowing another sigh, Heeheon placed the ring on the small table next to the bed and let go. He stared at it for a moment, but feeling uneasy about just leaving it, he turned a glass cup upside down over it, trapping it as if to seal it away.

“……”

Feeling a lingering sense of regret, he stared at the ring for a long time before finally, slowly, turning his body and heading out of the hospital room. This meant he had no choice but to finish the examination quickly and come back. He didn’t know if he was just thinking negatively, but it felt like every single situation was turning for the worse.

Quickening his pace, Heeheon walked rapidly down the long corridor. The faint smell of medicine and disinfectant wafted through the air. As he was looking for the sign pointing to Examination Room 4, rounding a corner and about to climb the stairs, a large shadow fell over him.

He came face to face with a person walking down from the upper floor. He had almost bumped into them.

“Oh.”

“Ah.”

His nerves must be on edge, unlike usual.

Blaming himself for his carelessness, he looked up and saw a familiar face, also dressed in a white hospital gown just like Heeheon.

“First Lieutenant Baek…?”

Captain Sung Ahwon, surprised to see Heeheon, opened his eyes wide. He was so gaunt he was almost unrecognizable, and the area around his eyes was not just dark, but sunken.

“Captain.”

So Captain Sung was hospitalized too… Stepping back, Heeheon greeted him with a nod.

“What brings you here, First Lieutenant?”

“Ah… I needed a detailed examination, sir.”

“Pardon? Are you hurt somewhere? Is it a serious injury?”