Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 98

Captain Sung’s eyes, which were already wide open, grew even larger. Being someone whose actions were faster than his words, he reached out, grabbed Heeheon’s shoulders, and examined his body closely. Heeheon politely discouraged him.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just that there’s a bit of strain on my core.”

“Your core? Ah, from, from this mobilization…?”

“Well, I suppose so.”

He understood the heart that was acting out of anxious worry, but in truth, Captain Sung’s condition looked incomparably more serious than Heeheon’s. His brown hair had lost its original resilience and looked crumbly and dead, and his bright, healthy gaze had also sunk into a murky darkness. His parched hands were rough.

“Um… Captain Sung…”

Looking at him closely like that, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. His lips closed, and a difficult silence pushed and pulled between them.

“…”

“…”

There was no conversation between them, but even without words, the context could be understood naturally. He remembered the desperate figure in the last broadcast video. His colleagues were with him at the business trip destination where he had been assigned to the East. The 2nd Special Task Force.

Sorrow, pity, and a deep-seated despair.

Heeheon bowed his head first to offer his condolences, and Captain Sung was silent for a long time before finally wearing a bitter smile.

“It seems my strength was a bit lacking. All the members trained to death. Not a single person backed down until the end…”

“Yes…”

“I have no regrets. Truly, everyone fought so hard that no regrets remain. But…”

“…”

“It does hurt.”

His head plummeted downward. He dropped his shoulders and bowed his face deeply, his expression hardening firmly.

He seemed to be trying to swallow his emotions internally without showing them, but to Heeheon, Captain Sung’s disastrous struggle to barely compose himself seemed clearly visible. He could recognize it because he himself had always swallowed his suffering alone just like that.

“I didn’t expect to run into First Lieutenant Baek, of all people, like this right now… It seems I only ever show you my lacking side, First Lieutenant.”

“Lacking? Not at all.”

“I’ve already admitted and accepted it. That I was far from enough.”

Captain Sung let out a pained sigh and gripped the stair railing violently. Perhaps because he, an A-rank fortification-type Esper, had unconsciously leaked his ability, the iron railing held in his grip crumpled like a sheet of paper with a crunch.

Heeheon quietly reached out and placed a hand on his arm.

Though they had healing factors, there were always those who died in the field. The research result that the average lifespan of an Awakener is short was a public fact that didn’t even need to be hidden, and for an Awakener, death was like a comrade. They were that close. Even so, the Awakeners who devoted their lives to protecting the nation and safeguarding the citizens’ safety were all heroes, regardless of their rank.

Opening his mouth with difficulty, Heeheon whispered with an aching heart.

“…You’re erasing them.”

Captain Sung nodded his chin heavily.

“Yes.”

Mental ability.

Just like mucous membrane contact guiding, it is one of the military secrets not yet announced to civilians; it is an ability that can interfere with the brainwaves of living organisms.

A skilled user could manipulate an individual’s thoughts, actions, and five senses, and it was also possible to read or eliminate memories.

That is why, combat members like Captain Sung, who developed severe trauma due to events such as losing comrades before their eyes, would often be hospitalized in the ward and find peace by leaning on mental abilities. To put it simply, the relevant memories are erased from the head.

Naturally, various restrictions followed, and permission according to various procedures was also essential; above all, the will of the Awakener with the trauma was reflected as the most important factor.

Before the massive reorganization of the military system, mental abilities were reportedly used forcibly according to the decisions of the higher-ups rather than the will of the Awakener themselves, but now, inhumane situations where memories disappeared without the party’s consent never happened.

“I’m going to erase them. I was hospitalized with that intention.”

“…”

“It’s truly embarrassing to say, but the creatures… I’ve finally become afraid of the creatures.”

“…”

“I want to get revenge for the lives of my comrades who left early, but my arms shake even when I just stand on the training ground. So, if I don’t erase it all… ugh…”

“Captain. You don’t have to speak with such difficulty. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s actually for the best. I’m glad I met First Lieutenant Baek Heeheon before these memories disappear. I’d like it if the First Lieutenant would be the last one to listen.”

Captain Sung grabbed Heeheon’s hand, which was touching him.

The strength of his grip was fierce. It was as if he were literally clinging to him.

“They are comrades I’ve known since I was a child. Erasing the memory of seeing them on their final journey actually hurts poignantly. But still, I have no choice but to erase it. That is the only way.”

Heeheon could not comfort him at all. It was impossible to comfort him with any words. He could only silently listen and accept his sublime decision.

“Even though I’m the one who barely survived just because I’m ‘great,’ I suppose I’m too weak to fight while carrying them on my back. Even though I have to fight. Even though there is no one but me…”

“…”

“I have to pull myself together, because only then can I catch even one more creature and save even one more person, but the fact that I can’t do that obvious thing and have to erase it all… ugh, I’m dying of frustration!”

As if grasping at a straw, he desperately clutched Heeheon’s hand and slowly pulled it toward him. It felt like his bones would be crushed, caught by the strength reinforced by his ability, but he couldn’t possibly push him away or shake him off.

“Once everything is erased, even these miserable feelings will disappear. Please remember instead of me. Please.”

“Yes… I will remember.”

“That’s right. First Lieutenant… I think it will be enough as long as First Lieutenant Baek remembers. I am satisfied with that.”

“I will remember. Captain Sung Ahwon, I will. Everything.”

“Thank you. Truly, thank you… I’m always imposing on the First Lieutenant like this. Thank you…”

Captain Sung bowed his head.

Before long, his trembling lips touched the fingertips.

“But why is it… I think I am, a little bit, happy right now.”

As if to finally convey the memories and emotions he would soon lose, he pressed his lips to Heeheon’s hand that he was holding.

Coincidentally, it was the left hand.

The ring finger, where the ring was missing, twitched and wandered through the air.

“Maybe it’s because I met the First Lieutenant like fate. I think I can forget everything and return again.”

“Captain.”

“Actually, my life was as good as saved by First Lieutenant Baek Heeheon too… I remember that shining sky where the lightning struck.”

“Captain Sung Ahwon.”

Reflexively, his face snapped up. Unlike Heeheon’s face, which was tangled in a complex way, Captain Sung Ahwon looked calm, his pain having subsided and his state having become much quieter.

“I’m very late in saying this, but thank you. You saved not only the 3rd District but me as well, First Lieutenant Baek Heeheon. …I owe you my life.”

Hearing those words, Heeheon’s face gradually turned deathly pale.

Just what.

Is this terrible sense of self-loathing.

Where does it originate from?

“I am not the one who saved you. I only performed the guiding.”

“Yes, the one who displayed the ability was Brigadier General Cha. But an Esper always needs a guide.”

“I am, but still…”

“Please do not decline. It is thanks to First Lieutenant Baek Heeheon. As an Esper, I always think of it that way and am grateful.”

Heeheon bit the inside of his mouth hard. The tender flesh was torn and a fishy taste was felt. He couldn’t make any reply to Captain Sung’s words. Even the words of gratitude felt far away.

Just what kind of mind does Baek Heeheon have to be in this place?

He didn’t know with what nerve he was shamelessly hearing such a greeting from Captain Sung Ahwon.

“The First Lieutenant’s guiding was always wonderful. I was always in awe.”

“…”

“It must have been difficult just to adapt after late-awakening, but in just five years, you were more diligent than any other Awakener… you are amazing, which is why I couldn’t help but fall for…”

“…Ah.”

Inside his patient gown, the identification tag hanging around his neck shook.

The identification tag, which felt as familiar now as if it were one with his body, suddenly felt heavy. Just as Heeheon had put various meanings into the platinum ring, this small piece of metal also held a similar significance.

It is a flame.

The burning flame was shining small with colorful and beautiful hues. It was a hot heart that made his soul respond and swell just by cherishing it.

If he were to abandon this flame and leave, could he truly not regret it?

<What’s the problem. You said you liked me. You said you don’t regret it.>

He doesn’t regret it. For now.

But he thought he would regret it in the distant future.

<Baek Heeheon is my guide. Even if he never guides me once.>

Right before his eyes was an Awakener who would fight creatures even after erasing the memories and fears that planted the trauma. Could he dare call himself a guide in front of such a true hero?