Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 22 - First Life 02

Beyond the faintest consciousness, Yiseo recalled a fragment of memory from the first life.

 

— “You will be king.”

 

The maiden whispered as she sat on the prince’s lap.

 

— “This country will live for at least two hundred more years, and no one will ever usurp the throne.”

 

The prince buried his face in the maiden’s chest and smiled.

 

— “And after that?” 

 

— “After that, the king will be named Lee, and will it be of your family?” 

 

— “It will be of the descendants of my little cousin, who escaped with my uncle from Gaegyeong, and he will be–”

 

— “I don’t wonder about that, what about you?”

 

Instead of answering, the maiden stroked the flat head of the prince, who buried his face in the crook of her breast and stared up at her. 

 

His eyes narrowed, and he bit down on her chest with a slight ache. He flicked his tongue over the gap in her white flesh and asked if it hurt.

 

She smiled and pressed her lips to his ear. 

 

When her lips itched to answer, he swallowed his laughter, picked her up, and carried her, tossing her on the bed.

 

Kissing her cheek, he felt her flush even more.

 

He slid his lips down her neck, which was getting redder by the moment, and whispered.

 

— “You loved me before you even met me, you told me.”

 

His lips slid over her flat stomach, leaving red marks all over her lower belly. 

 

Swallowing her moan, he embraced her and said.

 

— “So will I in the afterlife, because I’ll miss you even before I meet you.”

 

‘How nice that would be.’

 

Yiseo smiled absentmindedly. And then she was out of the past.

 

Her blurry eyes, wandering through her past life, slowly came into focus. She blinked. 

 

The man looking down at her asked, “Wouldn’t it be better if you just stayed in the good old days and dreamed?”

 

He lifted her and sat her on his thighs, facing him. To her surprise, he hadn’t touched her body yet.

 

She was naked without clothes, but a thin quilt wrapped around her, and her thighs, which had been pressed apart until they ached, or her lower stomach, which had been tingling, were unharmed.

 

Her body throbbed faintly, but she could tell it was the after-effects of the previous day, or at least the fact that she hadn’t made love to him right away. He cradled her in his arms like a baby and stroked her back. 

 

Yiseo was confused, before he’d reminded her of her past life, he’d clearly been angry.

 

So much so that she thought she might die at his hands. 

 

At the very least, she’d thought she’d be getting herself into trouble again.

 

“Sometimes when I soothe you like this, you call out to me to carry on. Mostly when I’m not in my right mind.”

 

Was it?

 

She looked around the shrine slowly, listening to his words. 

 

There were blankets on the floor now, but it didn’t seem like a place to sleep. 

 

There were many candlesticks and incense burners, as if for rituals.

 

Lighted candles warmed the room.

 

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed because of the tightly closed door. The ceiling was high, so it wasn’t stuffy, but there were no windows.

 

To be honest, it was strange.

 

She couldn’t figure out why they’d brought her here. 

 

Was this where he planned to keep her from now on? 

 

Where was this place? Was this where she belonged, where her mother had left her, and she could leave without a word, or was this where he was taking her temporarily?

 

As Yiseo thought about it, she laughed out loud. It was just a little funny. 

 

Of course, he’d want to share her body. It was unthinkable in the ten years she’d been his wife.

 

“Why are you laughing? We haven’t even done anything yet.”

 

“It’s just, isn’t this so different from last year, or the last ten years, or…”

 

Yiseo suddenly remembered all the times she’d tried to get his attention. 

 

Scorned, ignored, neglected. That was all she remembered of her marriage.

 

“Did you resent it much?”

 

“Not a lot, sometimes.”

 

To be honest, she blamed herself more than she blamed him. 

 

I thought that my skinny, skeletal body would not be something a man would want to hold.

 

At least I knew I wouldn’t want to carry his child in my arms.

 

Yiseo’s body was so weak that at over twenty years of age, she still lacked bone. 

 

Old Lady Shanggung, who had initially ignored Yiseo to a certain extent, realized this and summoned several doctors, but they all shook their heads.

 

They said her body was too feeble. Even if she were lucky enough to have a child, she wouldn’t be able to carry it and would probably die.

 

After that, Old Lady Shanggong stopped paying attention to Yiseo altogether.

 

“I wanted you to resent me, because I thought it would be fun to see you curse me all night because you hate me.”

 

“…”

 

“Or, more accurately, I wanted to see you hate me and resent me, and yet be helpless because you loved me.”

 

His shadow, long and stretched out in the candlelight, flickered oddly. He tore off a piece of his shadow and rolled it on the floor beside him. 

 

The bizarre phenomenon drew Yiseo’s gaze toward it.

 

“You’re so desperate to stay by my side, even though you know you’ll be worse off, or you want to die because of me, but you end up living because of me.”

 

He covered her eyes.

 

“Perhaps I didn’t like that you hated me, but rather that you couldn’t reject me, and that’s why your rejection…”

 

He didn’t continue, but Yiseo didn’t even want to know what it was. 

 

Or perhaps it was more accurate to say she didn’t care.

 

The hand covering her eyes dropped.

 

The lump of shadow that had rolled across the floor had now taken on the shape of a man, and she gasped for a moment.

 

It looked like him, but when she looked closer, she realized it was someone else entirely.

 

As soon as I saw him, I recognized the face.

 

“This is your beloved prince.”

 

Yiseo couldn’t look away, even though he was nothing more than a lump of past memories.

 

“That’s me, too, but maybe it’s different for you, because he’s done nothing to earn your hatred.”

 

He lowered her from his arms. As if to say, approach the image he had created. 

 

Yiseo reached out, mesmerized, and grasped the prince’s hand.

 

The sensation of gripping a chillingly cold mist jolted her back to reality.

 

This was not her prince, just a mass of shadow in his image. Not even a ghost, more like a painting of a dead man.

 

Yiseo studied the figure carefully, and eventually released her grip. 

 

But the man who had wrapped his arms around her from behind grabbed her hand again and squeezed. Her knuckles turned white from the painfully tight grip.

 

Afraid to moan at the sudden pain, he whispered in her ear.

 

“Say you love me, even if it’s just that.”

 

There was a sharp edge to his voice.

 

“Before I kill you.”

 

💫

 

“…”

 

Doesn’t that sound real?

 

Leegwang rubbed his lips against her silent ear, manipulating the clump of matter before his eyes. 

 

The smiling form of the prince’s smile from his previous life was quite convincing to him, but she didn’t react.

 

‘Perhaps she was stunned.’

 

Hopefully, she’d wake up and tell him what he needed to hear. 

 

Not necessarily that he loved me, but that he missed me, or that he missed the former me, or something along those lines, and that would be enough to keep my murderous intentions at bay.

 

“Well, don’t. What’s the point of bringing back someone already dead?”

 

It was an answer he hadn’t even considered.

 

Over his hand that held hers, her other hand came up. 

 

The first touch that came to grab hold of her was enough to pull her out of his grasp, and she spun around to face him, still holding his hand.

 

“I’d rather you kill me, just… that would be better.”

 

She meant it, and that made him even more unbearable. He chewed each syllable and spat it out.

 

“You’d rather die than tell that thing you love that thing. Why, now that you know it’s me, do you hate that thing too?”

 

“You call it that, too. Why should I say I love it when it is not real?”

 

“It has the same face, laughs the same, and moves the same as the one you remember, and is that not enough?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Clutching her faintly trembling hands tightly, she repeated. Her eyes locked with his.

 

“My prince is dead, and no one can be him, even if they look like him.”

 

‘So he can’t be him, either.’ Yiseo said with her eyes.

 

“The same goes for His Highness’s wife. No one can be her, not even me, because she is dead.”

 

‘Why does she keep acting like it’s over when it’s not?’

 

If I touched her now, it would be a disaster. 

 

He clenched his trembling hands and kept his eyes still.

 

In his motionless place, the figure that had been sitting picturesquely against her back wrapped itself around her. Her eyes widened at the sudden contact.

 

“Oh…?”

 

It was only a remnant of his former life anyway, so he couldn’t do anything but recreate the movements he had made in the past.

 

Whether she pushed him away or not, Leegwang stared at the form as fondly as a past prince would at his queen. 

 

Goosebumps broke out on Yiseo’s arms wrapped tight against his frozen body. He ran a hand down her arm.

 

“I hope you don’t freeze to death…”