Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 21 - First Life 02

“Go on your way, Mister.”

 

A voice called out from behind the distant figure of Suyeong, urging him to step out of the way once more. 

 

As he hesitated, the woman walked past him and bent down before the crouching figure.

 

The woman’s face was vaguely familiar to Suyeong, as he locked eyes with the cowering figure, ignoring the sweep of her skirt on the floor.

 

Judging by the way her braid was lifted, she must be married, but he had never seen the face of another man’s wife up close…

 

“Ah.”

 

This must be the Great Lord’s wife. I recognized the other woman’s face from the Great Lord’s wedding last month.

 

Since his sister was married to the Prince, Suyeong’s family was no stranger to the royal family, so he recognized her face from a distance.

 

“It must be cold, so let’s go inside.”

 

The latter spoke softly to the crouching figure.

 

“Where to…?”

 

“To our house.”

 

The woman, stiff and frozen from her words, pulled her cowering form to her feet, then, holding her staggering form, left the alley.

 

Her wet eyes seemed to stare at Suyeong for a moment, but it was hard to tell, given the way the Great Lord had pulled off his robes and covered her.

 

“Come with me, get cleaned up, and get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll stay with you.”

 

With the faintly whispered words of the Great Lord’s wife, Suyeong was left alone in the alley.

 

He wishes he’d held on to her longer.

 

The memories and karma of his past life had been coming back to haunt him since the moment he confronted Yiseo.

 

💫

 

He thought, as Yiseo was being led by the hand by a woman who was a foot taller than her, he wondered who this woman was. 

 

He had never seen her before. But she was strangely familiar.

 

He wondered if he had known her in a previous life, but he couldn’t remember.

 

Who is she?

 

Why is this woman leading her away?

 

Perhaps if it weren’t for this woman, Yiseo would still be in that alley. And he would still be in that alley, blaming someone who didn’t know him.

 

He blinked as he remembered his past life cousin, a young man who seemed to have been raised in a good family. 

 

Thankfully, no new tears fell.

 

A past life had been just a life. It was a life that had already ended, a relationship that had ended.

 

Just as the young man could not be her brother now.

 

So…

 

Just because she loved the prince in her previous life was no reason to love him in this one.

 

“My lady. What is it with you this early in the morning… ah.”

 

The familiar voice made me look up, and I saw Old Lady Shanggung with a puzzled expression. 

 

Yiseo looked back and forth between the one holding onto the woman and Shanggung, and soon realized.

 

It was Madame. The woman who lent a helping hand to Yiseo was the woman who had replaced the humble Yiseo as the Great Lord’s wife.

 

She was as young, healthy, and fair as she imagined. 

 

Yiseo stopped in her tracks. The woman looked back at her.

 

Does this Yiseo realize that the woman has been the one who replaced her seat as the wife of her husband with another woman?

 

Perhaps she’s going to put her in the back room as a concubine.

 

Whatever it was, he didn’t want to follow her. Yiseo shook off the woman’s hand. She didn’t want to be involved in this anymore. 

 

Anything to do with the Great Lord.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

The woman tugged at Yiseo’s sleeve again.

 

“I’m Huishan, don’t you remember?”

 

“—Huishan?”

 

The strangely familiar name hung on the tip of his tongue, and the woman flushed.

 

“Yes. Huishan. We…”

 

Yiseo didn’t finish the rest of the words.

 

The screams of the grotesquely twisted ghosts drowned out all sound as they rushed into her ears.

 

A large hand clamped over Yiseo’s eyes.

 

There was a hard grip on her back. An arm wrapped roughly around her body, hot. She felt a ragged breath in her ear.

 

“Is she the one who ran away?”

 

Instinctively, she twisted to escape the man’s embrace. His hand over her face blocked her breathing. 

 

On the verge of passing out from the lack of air, through her blurred vision, she made eye contact with the wailing woman on the ground.

 

The weeping woman looked familiar, as if she’d seen her before.

 

💫

 

Should I kill her?

 

He thought as he looked at Yiseo sprawled in his arms. 

 

Often, he felt that way. Quite frequently, actually.

 

When he’d hit her on the stomach and when he’d turned her head to kiss her, and found her face a mess of tears. 

 

When she’d flinched away from his touch, when she would not look at him even when she was in his arms…

 

Often, sometimes, always, he wanted to kill her.

 

‘You have to love me, no matter what I do. Even if I don’t love you, you have to love me.’ 

 

Every time he faced someone who wasn’t willing, he became more abusive. He couldn’t help it; it was her fault.

 

I felt betrayed by her for not keeping her end of the bargain.

 

He didn’t know how much longer he could wait for her to tell him she loved him. He felt miserable, wondering why he had to be the one wearing out. 

 

Likewise, he wanted to strangle her right now.

 

Funny, Leegwang thought, as he ran out of the room, scared of how far the woman who could barely walk could have gotten. 

 

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her neck and squeezed.

 

A weak pulse tickled his palm.

 

‘What a weak body.’

 

“I was the one who killed you in the past life, so why do you put the blame on me!”

 

Despite the tear-jerking cry, he didn’t look back at the woman on the floor. 

 

Leegwang truly hated everything about her. The crap she spat out, like she was some kind of heroine, was appalling.

 

“Without him, would you have killed me?”

 

He mocked as he pulled her into his arms.

 

“It was he who killed me, not you. Huishan. What you are to us is nothing.”

 

The woman’s body shook violently, more and more intensely, as she listened. 

 

He took a step forward, wondering if he could get rid of her now.

 

“My Lord.”

 

The irritatingly quiet call stopped him in his tracks.

 

“I’ve cleared the shrine you spoke of, and if you’re planning such a thing, I suggest you move quickly.”

 

At the Secretary’s next words, Leegwang turned around. 

 

What he held in his arms was more urgent than what he could deal with at any moment.

 

He couldn’t wait to get her to confess.

 

Before she regained all her memories, she cried out in misery and clung to him in love, but if he waited any longer, he felt like he would really tear the woman in his arms apart.

 

An old tree stood at the entrance to the hut, half a day’s climb up the mountain. 

 

The five-colored cloth faded in the sunlight and swayed in the spring breeze. He carried Yiseo in his arms and entered the room.

 

On one wall, there was only a faded trace of a painting of a giant dragon. 

 

The bright colors had worn off, and it was hard to make out the outline, which was crumbling with age.

 

Still, the eyes were clear.

 

Leegwang cradled her in one arm, covered the dragon’s eye with the other, and ripped the wall where it had been painted. 

 

The remnants of the wall tumbled to the floor.

 

“Ugh…!”

 

At the same time, Yiseo opened her eyes.

 

Blinking in confusion, her eyes met his and locked. Needless to say, he felt a shudder.

 

‘But it was okay. As soon as all her memories were back, it would be over. So it was okay…’, he thought. 

 

‘It had to be okay.’

 

Because if he didn’t think so, he felt like he was going to kill this woman at any moment.

 

So weak was her body that it would snap at the slightest pressure from him, so he tried not to think about her running away.

 

Sitting on the floor, he undressed her.

 

This time, he didn’t want her body, just to get her out of his arms and cleaned up after her night of wandering.

 

Because he had a vague feeling that if he lay with her in this state of mind, they’d both end up dead.

 

“Please stop.”

 

But he could feel his barely mustered patience shattering at her refusal, as she shivered and pushed his hand away.

 

“No, I won’t, not now, I won’t do anything with you.”

 

It wasn’t like the ‘stop’ that had been mumbled beneath him all these times; it didn’t mean stop because it was hard, or don’t do it anymore.

 

She explicitly rejected him.

 

“Whatever promises I made in my previous life, I was wrong. I’m not capable of loving you, no matter what you do to me.”

 

A look of anxiety and regret flickered across his face.

 

“Our bond ended in our past life, and the me of this life doesn’t love you.”

 

“You’re lying.”

 

He denied her words with a sharp breath. He shielded her eyes, feigning calm, but inside, he was nervous.

 

Calling forth memories of her past life and placing them beneath her closed eyes, her shoulders shook slightly.

 

Yet he knew who her closed eyes were looking at. 

 

The man she’d loved in her previous life, the prince she’d loved before they’d ever met.

 

“Your heart still beats for me?”

 

“…Because I’m not that maiden anymore, and you’re not that prince.”

 

It didn’t make sense, and he broke down laughing. 

 

After a fading laugh, he pecked her lips and whispered, “That’s not for you to decide.”