To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 28

“That’s….”

No matter how calmly he tried to speak, there was no way to hide his anger. Dandeleon glared at Kellewen, who was clearly flustered. He seemed to have no idea at all why Dandeleon was acting this way. That attitude fanned the flames of Dandeleon’s anger even more.

“Who is the one that permits you to continue your life? The Elf Forest? The elders? What if they don’t permit it? Are you just going to die? Leaving me behind?”

“I, that is….”

“Ha….”

Dandeleon tried to calm the roiling anger inside him.

Right, this is how Kellewen is. He was raised this way, so he can only think this way. Even the desire to live was something he barely managed to embrace, breaking a taboo. So, to want anything more than that would require more time and effort.

No matter how much he tried to think that way, the once-ignited anger did not easily subside.

“What will you do if that happens? Are you going to run away with me or something?”

As far as Dandeleon was concerned, the possibility of Kellewen surviving after dedicating his magical power to the Guardian Tree was as good as none.

It had already been over a thousand years since the Elf Forest began sacrificing High Elves to the Guardian Tree. If they had found a way to save their lives, they would have implemented it, of course.

This conclusion was not based on a belief in the elves’ morality or love for their own kind. The method of forcing sacrifice upon High Elves was fraught with inherent risks. If one has a sense of self and the capacity for intellectual judgment, then one naturally has a fear of death. A way to keep them alive was absolutely necessary, if only to manage the High Elves properly.

However, as everyone on the continent knew, no such method existed. The very fact that Kellewen had been forbidden from all desires, including the desire to live, was proof that there was no way.

The moment he dedicates his magical power to Yggdrasil, Kellewen’s life is over.

To ask for permission in a situation like this was absurd in itself. Kellewen had to fight. In a situation where he should be prepared to go to war with the Elf Forest that had oppressed him, he was talking about looking for a way, about seeing if he would be permitted to live. How complacent a thought was that.

And how empty was the promise to be together only after permission was granted.

“Can you promise to stay by my side, even if it means turning the entire world into your enemy?”

No answer came back.

Dandeleon waited. He watched as Kellewen’s expression wavered. He saw the green eyes reflecting his own image distort, take on the color of pain, and finally, unable to face him, drop downwards.

That alone was answer enough.

“…So you can’t.”

Dandeleon muttered in an empty voice.

“If I abandon my duty, hundreds of thousands will die.”

Kellewen grabbed Dandeleon’s hand and spoke urgently. But Dandeleon shook his hand off.

“I know that too. But so what?”

A hurt expression flashed across Kellewen’s face. That fact angered him again. The deep-rooted altruism in Kellewen was sickening and loathsome.

“Just admit it. That saving the world is more important than me, more important than even yourself. That’s why you’re going to sacrifice your life to that damn tree no matter what, isn’t it!”

“Because you will die otherwise!”

Kellewen’s voice rose as well. He grabbed the hem of Dandeleon’s clothes and spoke desperately.

“The Guardian Tree’s lifespan doesn’t have much time left. The Elf Forest is desperately trying to hide this fact. But… the truth is, Yggdrasil is consuming more and more magical power with each passing year. At this rate, it won’t last another 100 years, no, not even 50.”

It was a shocking revelation. So far, a total of four High Elves had dedicated their magical power to Yggdrasil. Including Kellewen, it would be five. The average lifespan of an elf is a thousand years, so even with a rough calculation, there should have been plenty of time left. Although a High Elf’s remaining lifespan did not necessarily correspond directly to Yggdrasil’s, people had vaguely thought it would be fine for at least a few hundred years.

But the death of the Guardian Tree was approaching much sooner than expected. If Kellewen had not been born, did that mean the continent would not have seen the next century?

“Yes, I want to save the world. Because that is what will save you. Leon, please, understand my heart. To recklessly abandon my duty is….”

“No, you’re wrong.”

But to Dandeleon, it was all irrelevant.

“The world and I have nothing to do with each other.”

Because the time Dandeleon had left was much, much shorter than that.

Dandeleon wanted to grab Kellewen and shout. That I’m the one who doesn’t have much time left. 100 years? 50 years? For me, living just another 10 years would be a blessing.

Dandeleon had been told since birth that he would not live to see adulthood. For him, every year he greeted while still breathing was a new miracle.

His health had improved a little after coming to the royal palace, but that was only for a very short time. His already poor stamina was declining, and his muscle strength was gradually weakening. In contrast, his need for sleep increased, and it was common for him to spend half the day asleep. The blood mixed in at the end of his coughs and the sudden pains that engulfed his entire body also became more frequent.

Dandeleon was already dying.

‘So please, just stay by my side until I die.’

He wanted to scream that.

“…….”

But anger, and shame, sealed his lips.

Kellewen said he loved him. He, too, thought he loved Kellewen. He had just been about to finally admit that fact, but Kellewen, as soon as he spoke of love, tried to leave with nothing but a hollow promise that seemed unlikely to be fulfilled.

To bring up his own lifespan to hold on to such a person was too miserable and shameful.

And, though Dandeleon himself did not realize it, he was, in fact, afraid.

He was afraid that Kellewen would still choose the world over him even after hearing those words, and he was afraid of confirming that choice.

‘Leon, fall in love.’

Someone already dead whispered in Dandeleon’s ear. The color drained from Dandeleon’s face. It was as if a nightmare had manifested into reality and was pulling him down into the earth.

“I don’t love you.”

To escape that grasp, Dandeleon chose to hurt Kellewen.

The eyes on him widened. They widened, and then they distorted. They trembled as if in disbelief.

That alone conveyed the full extent of the pain Kellewen would feel. Dandeleon turned his head and looked at the sea. He did not want to look directly at Kellewen’s pain.

“I didn’t approach you because I had feelings for you. The truth is… there was something I wanted to confirm with you.”

That was the truth. It was not a lie. The more he spoke, the more Dandeleon was convincing not Kellewen, but himself.

“It started like that, but as I went on, it felt good to touch you, and the sex was good too.”

There is not a single lie in all these words. Our relationship was twisted from the very beginning. We don’t suit each other. We can’t be together.

He will not be there to watch me die.

“So let’s just stop here. It seems neither you nor I want a deep relationship.”

I do not love you.

“Leon, I am not saying I will abandon you. I mean that I cannot be the only one to survive.”

Kellewen continued to try and persuade Dandeleon. But the words he offered no longer held any meaning for Dandeleon.

“…That’s exactly what I hate, Kellewen.”

“Mr. Leon! I told you to tell me when you go out!”

Zellos, upon seeing Dandeleon who had only just appeared at dusk, let loose a barrage of nagging. The last time he had checked, Dandeleon had been sleeping peacefully in his bed. But in the mere 30 minutes he had been away, Dandeleon had disappeared again.

“Do you know how worried I was?”

Suppressing his displeasure, he had even gone to Adenberg, but of course, neither Dandeleon nor Kellewen were there. How many scenarios had he imagined, thinking of the two who had vanished without a trace. This time, Zellos decided he would not let it slide so easily.

“Say something!”

He shouted again at Dandeleon, who was standing with his back against the door.

But no answer came from Dandeleon. Zellos strode toward him and then realized something new.

Dandeleon’s entire body smelled of the sea.

“Mr. Leon, could it be….”

Zellos looked over Dandeleon in confusion. Noticing that Dandeleon’s face was a little redder than usual, Zellos placed his hand on Dandeleon’s forehead.

“A fever…!”