Sea Monster Stew Chapter 23

He was so startled that he didn’t even realize it was the first time she had hugged him of her own accord.

 

“Wh-what are you doing right now? If anyone sees, they’ll think we’re really having a secret rendezvous…”

“Says the man who was sneaking into the Vice-Captain’s room, talking about secret rendezvous and whatnot?”

She laughed brightly and looked up at his face quietly.

“Haha… Ah, right. This face…”

Only then did he collect himself and deliberately put on a sullen expression.

“What about my face?”

“This sulky face… it kept floating in front of my eyes until I fell asleep last night.”

“What?”

“I kept thinking about you. Your face.”

 

As if to hide her flushed face, she buried her face in his chest again.

Kisa firmly grabbed her chin and lifted it. Looking at his reflection in her clear green eyes, he whispered in a low voice.

“…Why were you thinking about me?”

 

He wanted to ask sullenly, but his voice trembled as if shaken by the wind. That tremor spread entirely to his fingertips.

She looked up at him silently for a moment, then smiled slightly and burrowed into his embrace.

“Silly, how can I say that with my own words?”

“…I’m stupid. If you don’t tell me the reason, I won’t know.”

“Haha, alright… So a person’s body temperature is this warm… I’d forgotten until now…”

 

She spoke as if mumbling with her small mouth, still buried in his chest. 

 

Kisa stared at her, heat swirling in his eyes.

Then, he suddenly realized he was making a huge mistake.

If this woman took one step closer, he should have taken one step back. That would have been right, according to the plan.

Captain Hawk probably wouldn’t have wanted his foster son to form such a deep relationship with the Vice-Captain’s assistant either.

But right now, far from stepping back, he only wanted to get closer to her.

This is dangerous. It was no time to act like a boy lovesick out of his mind.

“…Hey, someone might come in, so let’s stop now…”

“No.”

 

As she whined softly and burrowed deeper into his embrace, Kisa unconsciously squeezed his eyes shut.

When he was only near this woman, he forgot he was a pirate. 

 

His authority as an Admiral, his sense of responsibility toward the Captain—it all shattered to pieces.

Before her, he was just a man falling in love for the first time. 

 

He became a clumsy, affectionate fool with nothing to offer but his heart.

The gloom from last night vanished without a trace, replaced by a heart full of the warmth in his arms.

 

‘Damn it… Now even I don’t know.’

 

Kisa swallowed a sigh and pulled the small body tightly into his arms. 

 

They hadn’t kissed, they hadn’t lain together, yet his vision grew hazy as if in a dream.

The sharp wariness and fear he felt toward this being who rendered him powerless were now nowhere to be found.

 

 

* * *

 

 

‘Should I just secretly take her to my island and hide her?’

 

Kisa sat in a chair in Captain Hawk’s bedroom, lost in thought.

‘Hildert would send pursuers, but I could just deal with them all… My identity will be discovered someday, but, well, it’ll work out somehow.’

 

His mind felt like it was boiling over. The memory of her small body hugging him of her own accord kept surfacing.

‘Why is she so small? Are all women that small? No. It’s clearly because she didn’t eat properly while being overworked as the Vice-Captain’s assistant, so she didn’t grow to her full height. If I feed her well from now on, she might grow taller…’

 

It was natural that average stature looked small to his tall frame, but he stubbornly stared at the opposite wall and continued his imaginary logic.

‘She must have hugged me on purpose to show me how small and weak she is, to make a man’s heart soften. I can see right through her. Hehe…’

 

Even he knew it was a ridiculous stretch, but Kisa struggled to swallow his leaking giggles and kept his mind racing.

He propped his chin with one hand and kicked away the bothersome bear-shaped familiars pestering him at his feet.

 

‘Powerless, small, and skin-and-bones, yet so stubborn… If I leave her be, she’ll eventually offend the Vice-Captain and her life will be in danger, so it’s safer to sneak her out as soon as possible. And someday, together, to the sea…’

 

His gaze, lost in deep thought, fell onto the backrest of Captain Hawk’s chair opposite him. 

 

His own face, grinning foolishly, was reflected on the glossy leather surface.

The sight of him chewing his lips and grinning looked exactly like a fool lost in delusion.

 

‘Damn it! What idiotic thoughts am I having!’

 

Kisa shot up, his face turning bright red. He felt so pathetic and ashamed that a chill ran down his spine.

The bear familiars, who had gathered in a circle at his feet dancing, looked up at him and screamed.

 

“Who is it? Grinning, grinning nonstop. Why does he keep smiling like an idiot?”

“Idiot! This is Admiral Kisa of the 2nd Ship! He’s just not wearing the Giant’s Skin right now!”

“What? The majestic Admiral Kisa acting like such a fool! Don’t lie!”

“It’s true, you fool!”

 

A small fight broke out between the familiars who knew Kisa’s face and those unaware of his double life.

 

‘…They’re all annoying.’

 

Normally, he would have roared and kicked them all out at once, but right now he felt so pathetic himself that he didn’t even have the heart to do it. 

 

He let out a deep sigh and plopped back down into the chair.

 

‘How do you think you can run away from here, Kisa? You’re a pirate and the Admiral of a ship… You can’t intrude on the life of an ordinary woman like that, nor do you have the courage to betray your foster father.’

 

He covered his eyes with one hand and sneered at himself. 

 

Emerging from his fantasy back to reality, he felt acutely how foolish his thoughts had been.

He hated himself, floundering in love. 

 

He was afraid of that weak version of himself, and he feared the time ahead where he would fall even deeper for this woman.

What if these feelings grow stronger? Why did you have to be the Vice-Captain’s woman?

He had been so insanely happy about her voluntary hug that he’d even contemplated secretly stealing her away. 

 

He had dared to think of betraying Captain Hawk’s expectations.

 

‘Free because we’re pirates? Decide your life partner yourself? It’s all nonsense, not even funny. Moose, do you believe you can be happy just throwing off the Captain’s expectations and the burden on your shoulders…?’

 

“Huh? He suddenly got all serious.”

“His mood swings are really severe.”

“I told you, it’s not just any man, it’s Admiral Kisa, you fools!”

 

The familiars gathered at Kisa’s feet and whispered, but he, lost in deep thought, didn’t hear them.

 

‘I… how long can I endure in this precarious situation?’

 

It was a relationship that began falsely from the start. 

 

He had never once told her the truth in her presence.

It was strange. She was one of the few people who knew his real face.

But the “Muir” she knew was a man who didn’t exist in this world.

A fake name, a fake identity. Even the hope of running away together was fake.

 

‘When she finds out that the “real Kisa” she feared so much is me… And when she faces the fact that I’ve been deceiving her all this time…’

 

Would you still believe me? Would you still smile shyly, saying my face comes to mind at night?

Kisa shook his head. The reason she had let “Muir” into her heart in the first place was singular.

A man in as miserable a situation as her own had appeared before her; why wouldn’t her heart go out to him?

He tried hard to think of that feeling as “comradeship” rather than “love”. He had endured until now, hoping her feelings wouldn’t deepen.

 

‘Then what about me? What is that woman to me?’

 

He could readily critique others’ emotions, but he couldn’t perfectly define his own. 

 

He felt pathetic, realizing that for all his know-it-all talk, he ultimately just kept making foolish choices.

At first, he hated that a woman of such lowly status made him soft-hearted, and he wished she would disappear.

If she were an enemy, he’d burn her ship, sink it if he got the chance, and behead her if necessary.

But what if the other party was the green-eyed woman who had stolen his very heart?

That kind of thing… no one had ever taught him how to handle it.

Kisa’s eyes became like those of a child who wanted to cry.

 

“…Damn it.”

 

Swearing under his breath did nothing to improve his gloomy mood.

He was terrified just imagining what expression she would make, what she would say when she discovered “Muir” was a non-existent person. 

 

Cold sweat broke out on his back.

He didn’t know how he would bear the look of clear resentment in her eyes. 

 

He was utterly terrified of hearing her cry sadly, saying she had trusted him.

 

‘I have to admit it now… I can’t stand the idea of using that woman as a hostage.’

 

Even if he dismissed her feelings as comradeship, his own feelings were love.

 

“…Maybe I should leave with her after all…”

 

“Leave where? Are you done with your fantasies now? Keke.”

“Ca-Captain? Since when have you been there…?”

 

Startled by Hawk’s voice coming from a distance, Kisa jumped to his feet. 

 

aptain Hawk was leaning against the doorframe, looking at him with pitying eyes.

“Tsk tsk, what were you so lost in thought about that you didn’t even notice I’d arrived?”

Hawk flung himself into the chair opposite Kisa and clicked his tongue as if annoyed. 

 

At his gesture, the familiars scurried out of the room.

“Grinning like a simpleton, kicking Admiral Moose’s cute familiars left and right. Suddenly turning bright red and fuming to yourself. Tearing at your hair, muttering something, then getting depressed.”

 

“…I did that?”

“Brat, what were you fantasizing about to cause such a ruckus by yourself?”

“Just… I had something to think about for a moment.”

“Haha! You haven’t gotten yourself a woman, have you? The way you were acting just now was the spitting image of your father when he was doggedly chasing your mother!”

The Captain brought up the story of his father, whom he barely remembered.

 

‘Was my father that kind of man…? Am I acting like a fool like this because I take after my father?’

 

Kisa scratched his head and adjusted his sitting posture.

“I was worried because you seemed to have no interest in women, but this is quite something! Haha… Hey, do I have to worry about my grown foster son’s libido too?”

“…It’s not like that. So, why did you call me here?”

“Right, the reason I called you. Hmm… About that assistant of Hildert’s we talked about…”

 

Hawk let out a deep sigh and began.

“That young lady’s real name… by any chance, did she ever tell you herself?”

“Her name?”

“Yeah. According to the familiars, it seems she hasn’t used her real name since arriving in Karabas.”