In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 124

When I opened my eyes, a white hospital room ceiling greeted me.

What happened?

An ajumma’s tear-streaked face suddenly thrust itself into my field of vision.

“I swear, you’re going to give me a heart attack. Why did you go to that lake? Huh? And who the hell is Kang Jio or whatever his name is—what’s his deal? And why didn’t you answer your phone?”

It was Yu Dayang’s mother.

I’d definitely been at the lakeside as Jung Sewoon.

“Did you go to the lake planning to die?!”

As I listened to the storm of scolding, I suddenly thought of Minyeong unnie.

I miss her.

I wonder which personality I am this time.

Did I make it back?

I slowly raised my hand toward the ceiling.

Thankfully, my body moved as I intended.

I let out a relieved sigh and sat up abruptly.

Man, I seriously thought I was going to die from frustration.

That’s when the hospital room door opened.

Thinking it might be Kang Jio, I quickly checked who’d entered.

It was someone else.

A strange sense of disappointment washed over me.

“You’re awake?”

A tall doctor with brown hair walked over.

His white coat had the doctor’s name written on it.

Nam Woohyeok.

Nam Woohyeok was Yu Dayang’s psychiatrist.

He was also Kang Jio’s high school friend, and secretly had a one-sided crush on Yu Dayang.

Hmm, so this is what he looks like.

His light brown eyes left an impression.

As I observed him intently, Nam Woohyeok asked with concern.

“How are you feeling?”

Then Nam Woohyeok looked at me with eyes that seemed to be determining who I was.

“I’m Yu Dayang.”

Hearing my calm voice, both Mom and Nam Woohyeok let out short sighs.

But Nam Woohyeok’s expression turned somewhat serious as he began.

“Both of you need to brace yourselves. We can’t go on like this. If treatment doesn’t show progress, Dayang’s entertainment career will become difficult going forward.”

The moment those words hit, Yu Dayang’s mother collapsed as if all strength had left her body.

“Mother!”

Nam Woohyeok quickly supported her.

Watching that, I too felt the severity of the situation sink in.

For Yu Dayang, life without acting was no different from death.

She’d been active for so long, and her obsession with acting was particularly intense—Yu Dayang focused more on the life created on set than her own daily existence.

After seating Mother, Nam Woohyeok continued as if he hadn’t finished.

“Jio told me. He said the last personality he was with was Jung Sewoon-ssi.”

Then Nam Woohyeok revealed why he was continuing this conversation despite Mother’s distress.

“Perhaps… the dormant ‘that personality’ has begun to interfere in earnest.”

“…!”

That personality?

I looked at Nam Woohyeok in shock.

This was completely new information to me.

Because of the writer’s stubborn refusal, I hadn’t been able to read the six volumes’ worth of content past episode 10.

Based on just the earlier parts, it was hard to guess what came later.

But suddenly, a dormant personality?

“That personality…?”

When I asked, Nam Woohyeok looked at me with a somewhat grave expression.

“Brace yourself, Yu Dayang. That personality is the most dangerous to you.”

“……”

“It might be the personality that could eliminate you.”

The moment I heard those words, my heart sank.

It could eliminate me, the core personality?

Next to me, Mother was on the verge of fainting.

“Then what should I… what am I supposed to do?”

The moment I received this new information, fear suddenly ambushed me.

If I end up dominated by the final personality here, I might never be able to leave this script.

Not just Yu Dayang—I’m in danger too.

Nam Woohyeok looked at me directly.

“Let’s not put it off anymore. We need to do it now.”

“…?”

“The other personalities—we really need to let them go now.”

Nam Woohyeok brought up personality integration therapy.

But this wasn’t Yu Dayang’s first attempt at this.

How could I accomplish something Yu Dayang herself couldn’t do all this time?

“Can I really do it all of a sudden…?”

I asked without confidence.

It wasn’t a question seeking reassurance like ‘you can do it’ or ‘you’ll succeed.’

Vague fear took precedence.

But in that moment, for some reason…

Kang Jio suddenly came to mind.

Besides my psychiatrist and family, the only person who knew about my condition.

The person all my personalities wanted.

The person who shared the moments when my personalities were most honest.

What would someone like Kang Jio say to me right now?

That person who always spat cold words yet stood by my side in every dangerous moment—what would he do in a situation like this?

Couldn’t he help me?

I needed Kang Jio.

* * *

The manager I met two days later had half given up on me.

“There’s a limit to postponing schedules and blocking scandals now.”

A few days after being discharged.

I sat there utterly deflated, listening to the manager’s words.

“Hey, hey, don’t just act obedient only at times like this.”

The manager, unaware of my condition, clicked his tongue.

Still, Manager Kang was the only one who genuinely worried about Yu Dayang.

At work, at the company, on any set—no one said anything to Yu Dayang.

Not a single person mentioned the scandal or even spoke to her directly.

Does she really have no close friends besides the manager?

How does she survive being this lonely with no one around?

I smiled bitterly, feeling the somber side of being a top star.

Still, the words ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t come out, as if blocked by some control.

“I’ll handle it myself.”

Leaving only cold words contrary to my true intentions, I stood up.

* * *

After finishing another grueling filming schedule.

Manager oppa followed me all the way to my door, worried I might run off somewhere.

His desperate pleas to please lay low at least until the drama finished airing echoed in my ears, even though contract renewal remained uncertain.

“Get inside, quick!”

“Alright.”

I shut the door firmly and entered.

Then I just stood there for a long while.

A moment later, when the hallway light clicked off, the vast house was swallowed by black silence.

I watched that for a moment before slowly removing my heels.

My ankles were swollen from wearing heels all day.

I walked across the cold living room floor and sat on the sofa.

Then suddenly, Kang Jio came to mind again.

I pulled my phone from my handbag.

Kang Jio, who’d been so accommodating to the other personalities, hadn’t contacted me once since I returned as Yu Dayang.

“Seriously, I guess top stars aren’t his type.”

As if I’m calling him because I like him.

I’m calling because of the mission.

I’ll start with treatment talk and gradually get closer.

I don’t know if it’ll work, but let me at least try.

Just as I found Kang Jio’s number and was about to press the call button—

Thud—

The strength left my hand.

My phone dropped onto the marble floor.

No.

I couldn’t control my body again.

While I panicked, my body stumbled across the dark living room floor.

Then headed toward the vanity.

My right hand pulled out a red lipstick.

And smeared it across the mirror.

No… it wrote words.

‘Don’t touch him’

“What?”

Wasn’t I Yu Dayang just now?

Trembling with fear, my eyes met those in the mirror.

But… while I trembled in terror, my reflection in the mirror stared back expressionlessly.

I tried to scream in shock, but my voice wouldn’t come out.

I realized it instinctively.

This was the final personality.

I wanted to look away, but my head wouldn’t turn.

I was forced to stare for a long time at eyes twisted with unknowable sadness, resentment, and rage.

I desperately wanted to escape…

That’s when a single tear dropped onto my cheek.

Soon my body tilted to one side.

My body fell onto the cold marble floor.

* * *

Inside a bar in Cheongdam.

“Why’d you want to meet?”

In a corner of the bar, Kang Jio moistened his throat with whiskey and asked.

I’d collapsed alone at home, and the moment I woke up, I called Kang Jio.

But with that cold comment just now, my brief excitement instantly cooled.

Seriously.

But I couldn’t show it.

Because I’d come with one thing in mind.

I slowly crossed my legs and gazed at Kang Jio steadily.

Then with my heel-clad foot, I brushed along Kang Jio’s shin.

Kang Jio paused for a moment.

But only briefly.

Kang Jio asked nonchalantly.

“Are you dusting me off right now?”

“……”

Huh… why isn’t he flustered?

Feeling parched, I lifted my glass and took a sip.

A red lipstick mark remained on the glass.

Right now, I was imitating Baek Jangmi.

I’d even styled myself identically on purpose.

I couldn’t back down here.

“Guess nothing excites you at this level anymore?”

I asked in a languid voice, and Kang Jio smiled slightly.

Then answered.

“So what if that’s true?”

Whoa.

Those words stopped my brain in its tracks.

I can’t do more than this.

Wh-what now?

While I just rolled my eyes in confusion, Kang Jio burst out laughing.

“Are you really an actress?”

“What?”

“How can your acting be this bad?”

“Huh?”

“Baek Jangmi doesn’t make appointments to meet. She’s the type to break into my place through the front door.”

“Ah…”

Right, that was it.

Realizing my fatal mistake, I mentally smacked myself.

Han Sena, you idiot.

That’s when Kang Jio asked again.

“So why did you want to meet?”

I finally gave up trying to be clever.

When there’s no answer, use the direct approach.

“Why do you keep your distance only from me?”

“What?”

“You seem to get along pretty well with the other personalities.”

Kang Jio showed a flustered expression for the first time, his composure crumbling.

“Can personalities even communicate with each other?”

“You pick up on it.”

At my answer, Kang Jio thought for a moment before responding.

“Seeing Yu Dayang-ssi makes me uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“Because you witnessed my shame.”

Those words left me momentarily speechless.

I recalled the first meeting between Kang Jio and Yu Dayang written in the script.

At their first meeting, Yu Dayang witnessed Kang Jio being scorned by his family.

Yu Dayang had even impulsively interfered and stepped in.

“I’m grateful you helped. But why did you interfere in someone else’s business?”

Ultimately, she’d even gotten a rebuke from the person involved.

Their first meeting hadn’t been pleasant at all.

“……”

But as I mulled it over, something seemed off.

In the script, Yu Dayang didn’t remember that first meeting.

“Calling me a puppy instead of Kang Jio. You called me a son of a bitch as well.”

Yu Dayang had definitely been confused by that line.

Suddenly, like lightning flashing through my mind, something occurred to me.

A point I’d never considered before.

“Kang Jio-ssi.”

“What?”

“That day we first met. Who was I?”

“…?”

Kang Jio also seemed surprised by my question and set down his glass.

He probably hadn’t thought to pinpoint who the first meeting had been with either.

“Baek Jangmi? Jung Sewoon? Lee Eunje? Or…”

“……”

Neither of us knew the name of that final personality.

After thinking for a moment, Kang Jio slowly opened his mouth.

“That day, you said something like that. Asking why I didn’t recognize you. And then you cursed at me.”

I’d definitely thought that line was a bit strange.

“I thought you were just suffering from celebrity syndrome, wondering why I didn’t recognize you. But you called me ‘puppy’ really familiarly. You called me a son of a bitch.”

“……”

To think I’d dismissed it as just Yu Dayang’s bratty attitude layered on top.

I’d been way too complacent.

Kang Jio had met my final personality.

And perhaps, Kang Jio and my final personality knew each other from before.

Is that why the final personality left me that warning not to touch him?

I looked at Kang Jio’s confused face.