In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 138

“I’m sorry…”

Lee Seonho apologized to the director and staff, then stepped away for a moment.

I watched his retreating back with sympathetic eyes.

I was biting my lip hard too.

If I started crying as well, there was no way filming could continue.

The director waited silently for Lee Seonho’s emotions to settle.

I also waited for Lee Seonho while gazing at the lake before me.

“Nice weather.”

I muttered to myself and took a deep breath.

Like that, I calmed my mind slowly while looking at the tranquil lake.

How much time had passed?

Far in the distance, Lee Seonho still sat alone on a bench with an anxious expression.

What should I do…

Time kept flowing by.

Staff members couldn’t say anything, but were tracking the filming delay.

That’s when my eyes met the director’s.

The director gestured slightly and mouthed the words.

‘Sena-ssi, go check on Seonho-ssi.’

After a moment’s hesitation, I nodded.

Then slowly approached the bench where Lee Seonho sat.

Sensing my presence, Lee Seonho looked at me in surprise.

His eyes were still brimming with tears.

“Ugh, I can’t handle this.”

Seeing that face made tears well up in my eyes too.

“Should we just cry once?”

The words slipped out before I knew it.

I gently wrapped my arms around the shoulders of the sitting Lee Seonho.

Then Lee Seonho burst into tears and leaned into me.

Lee Seonho’s shoulders shook as he sobbed.

I also let my tears fall as I stroked Lee Seonho’s hair.

This was the first time sharing emotions like this with a co-star.

And to be sharing sad, painful emotions together like this.

Watching Lee Seonho cry made my heart burn.

Because Kang Jio kept coming to mind.

Not a single staff member approached us.

It was their consideration to give us time alone.

Like that, Lee Seonho and I cried together for a long while.

* * *

A short time later, at the lakeside where ripples stirred in the breeze.

Lee Eunje smiled brightly as her hair flew in the wind.

“From the start, I never wanted much.”

“Is that so?”

Kang Jio gently tucked Lee Eunje’s hair behind her ear.

Kang Jio’s eyes were already reddened.

Lee Eunje smiled bashfully, looking slightly embarrassed.

Then she withdrew her smile and spoke.

“Everything scared me. People’s stares, this illness. And the fact that I have to disappear…”

“…”

“But after meeting someone who called my name, suddenly… Because Jio-ssi kept calling my name so tenderly, suddenly, suddenly…”

“Eunje.”

“Like that. Because you kept calling me like that, I became greedy.”

“…”

“But now I’m satisfied. I received a lot from Jio-ssi.”

“You’re satisfied with just this much?”

Kang Jio looked down at Lee Eunje as if frustrated with the situation himself.

When there was nothing he could do for her.

That fact tormented Kang Jio.

He had no choice but to let her go.

Lee Eunje was already preparing to leave as well.

Kang Jio’s eyes wavered.

“I have to be satisfied. I have to compromise too. Just like how Dayang has been compromising her own time for me all this while. Now I have to return to my place.”

“…”

“Though there’s no real place to call mine.”

Lee Eunje laughed quietly to herself.

Then she slowly reached out her trembling hands and grasped Kang Jio’s hands.

“Thank you, Jio-ssi.”

Lee Eunje slowly looked up at Kang Jio.

“I like you. I liked you. Take care.”

“Wait a minute!”

Lee Eunje gave Kang Jio no time to say goodbye, as if being cruel.

“Goodbye.”

“Lee Eunje!!”

After finishing her farewell, Lee Eunje closed her eyes and collapsed forward.

As if scattering into the air itself.

Kang Jio quickly caught Lee Eunje in his arms to prevent her from getting hurt.

Sinking to the ground, Kang Jio held Lee Eunje in his embrace and let tears fall with a devastated expression.

A single tear also slipped from the departed Lee Eunje’s eyes.

* * *

“Okay.”

Director Shin declared okay in one take.

Lee Seonho and Han Sena, having finished their performance, shed tears while remaining in that same position.

A brief silence filled the set.

The only sounds were staff members withdrawing equipment.

Han Sena sat up and covered her crying face.

Several staff members who’d been watching the filming also wiped away tears.

“This is hard…”

Lee Seonho spoke quietly while crying.

The assistant director who’d been watching approached the director quietly.

“Director, are you really going with this as okay?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s a bit different from the script… Both their ad-libs, and the crying too.”

“It’s fine. I’ll discuss it separately with Writer Gu.”

“…”

The assistant director looked at the director with an expression asking if this would really be okay.

Because both Han Sena’s dialogue and Lee Seonho’s excessive performance differed significantly from the script.

However, the director was unmoved.

“How can I throw this away? Even if I told them to act like that, they couldn’t.”

At those words, the assistant director nodded reluctantly.

The director had a point.

Just like last time, whenever Lee Eunje-related scenes came up, you could clearly feel these two really diving deep into their immersion.

The ad-libs kept flowing too.

But these weren’t intentional ad-libs from the actors.

They were things that emerged unconsciously from genuine immersion.

Even as a writer, variations like these would be gratefully received.

Director Shin smiled with satisfaction, having captured an unexpectedly good scene.

But that lasted only briefly.

The director let out a deep sigh.

“What are we going to do about the actors being exhausted? The later parts are going to be an absolute storm.”

Just yesterday, before delivering it to the actors, the writer had first consulted only with the director about the content of episodes 15 and 16.

‘Will those two be able to hold up?’

The director looked at the actors with a slightly apologetic expression.

The assistant director also sighed beside him.

“Director, the very next scene is also a problem.”

At that, the director made an ‘oh no’ expression, turning pale.

He hurriedly unfolded the cut paper he was holding.

Due to location issues, the next scene happened to be Jung Sewoon’s departure.

“Will they be okay? Can we do it today… We’ve already had so many delays.”

At those words, Director Shin clutched his head while looking at the two.

The two had stood up at some point and were consoling each other while collecting themselves.

But they were still shedding tears.

Han Sena reached out to wipe away Lee Seonho’s tears.

* * *

An amusement park near the lakeside.

The scene where Jung Sewoon also leaves in succession.

I stood facing Lee Seonho in a state just before total exhaustion.

I’d experienced filming the climax on the first day and endured hellish schedules too.

But nothing had felt as difficult as today.

Already the fifth NG.

I deliberately shifted my tone and glared irritably at Lee Seonho.

Like Jung Sewoon would.

Like Jung Sewoon…

I hypnotized myself.

“Does Jio-ssi find it fun watching me look like an idiot??”

“Calm down. I find it fun watching Sewoon-ssi enjoying herself.”

Lee Seonho answered with his tone pitched up high.

“…”

Hearing Lee Seonho’s line, I sighed internally.

This is a disaster.

The tone had gotten completely twisted.

Lee Seonho’s voice had been thoroughly soaked in sadness from earlier.

When the broadcast airs, right now this scene is supposed to be Jung Sewoon and Lee Seonho having an excited date.

The emotional line didn’t match the situation.

Lee Seonho struggled to continue his lines.

“You don’t need to be perfect here.”

“As I thought, it’d be a waste to give you to someone else.”

“…”

“Baek Jangmi and Lee Eunje both left? You made them leave, didn’t you?”

“Se, Sewoon-ssi.”

“I don’t want to beg to stay longer by borrowing someone else’s body either. It hurts my pride.”

“Sewoon-ssi, just a moment.”

Lee Seonho spoke urgently as if clinging on.

His eyes were already brimming with tears.

“The fact that I’m the best match for Kang Jio won’t change. But still, since you’re going this far, I should disappear for you.”

“Sewoon-ssi.”

“Cut, cut! Seonho-ssi, tension!”

As expected.

Another NG.

Lee Seonho let out a heavy sigh.

“I’m really so sorry…”

Lee Seonho clenched his teeth.

“Let’s go right away again.”

“No. Take a short break.”

The director firmly stopped filming.

As darkness began to fall, exhausted expressions started appearing on staff members’ faces one by one.

Lee Seonho was surely feeling the tired atmosphere too.

This added burden on top of an already difficult time.

At least I needed to snap out of it quickly.

‘I need to find a way.’

After a moment’s thought, I grabbed the arm of Lee Seonho as he was moving away to have time alone.

“…?”

Lee Seonho looked down at me with a weary face.

“Sena-ssi, just let me… give me a moment to collect myself.”

Watching Lee Seonho like that, I grinned.

“I’ve never been to an amusement park in my life, and you’re going to do this?”

“?”

Lee Seonho made a slightly bewildered expression.

“You said you’d show me how to have real fun. I’m completely disappointed?”

I crossed my arms like Jung Sewoon and glared at Lee Seonho slightly.

Then Lee Seonho couldn’t help but laugh.

He’d realized what I was trying to do.

“Entertain me. It’s no fun watching Jio-ssi be sad.”

“…”

Lee Seonho smiled slightly and dropped his head.

I also lowered my face to meet Lee Seonho’s eyes and whined.

“Are you going to send me off like this? While you’re just being sad?”

“No…”

“Show me your smiling face too. I don’t want to disappear while watching Jio-ssi’s sad face.”

Lee Seonho burst into tears again and nodded.

Then he lifted his face.

This time, while crying, he also smiled brightly at the same time.

“I’ll try once.”

“You can do it, right?”

“I can do it. I have to.”

“Right. Think of it as Jung Sewoon’s last request.”

“Okay. I will.”

“…”

Lee Seonho cleared his voice.

“Director, let’s go again!”

Then he called out energetically once more.

At that, the makeup team who’d been working hard all day quickly rushed over.

Lee Seonho’s tear marks began to be erased.

* * *

“The fact that I’m the best match for Kang Jio won’t change. But still, since you’re going this far, I should disappear for you.”

“Sewoon-ssi.”

“And let me give you one piece of advice. Yu Dayang. Cut ties with her quickly. Because you’ll have to part with her eventually too.”

“What? What are you talking about…”

“Take care, Kang Jio.”

Lee Seonho’s eyes shook rapidly.

“Cut! Okay!”

The sky had darkened before we knew it.

Finally, as the okay sign came down, staff members sent applause as if they’d promised.

Hearing the applause echoing across the set, I let out a sigh of relief.

My legs gave out completely.

As promised, Lee Seonho kept smiling until the very end.

He didn’t cry.

Lee Seonho bowed deeply to the staff several times.

You could feel how apologetic he was to the staff.

The staff responded with even louder applause and cheers as if to say it was fine.

Still, we’d endured it.

Both of us held up well.

Lee Seonho finished his greetings and looked at me with a thoroughly exhausted face, grinning.

Both our eyes were puffy and swollen.

Seeing that face made laughter burst out of me.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Sena-ssi, thank you. You went through so much because of me.”

“Not at all. I’m the one who’s thankful.”

“Ha, that’s one weight off my shoulders.”

Lee Seonho breathed out deeply with the expression of someone who’d crossed a huge mountain.

“Now only the ending is left.”

Lee Seonho smiled brightly, naturally assuming it would be a happy ending.

“…”

Looking up at Lee Seonho like that, I burned with worry inside.

An even bigger mountain still remained.

Whatever the ending turns out to be, the fact that Yu Dayang, whom Kang Jio loves so much, isn’t the main personality.

Lee Seonho still didn’t know.

Just thinking about it already made me worried sick.

Deliberately pushing that thought aside, I smiled brightly at Lee Seonho.