In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 197

What had started as quiet whispers spread like wildfire into uncontrollable rumors.

Two days later, inside the makeup container.

Having arrived early before filming, I’d been receiving wound and blood makeup all over my body for over two hours.

I forced my eyes wide open, fighting off waves of drowsiness.

Deliberately trying to chase away sleep, I struck up conversation with the makeup artist.

“Your wrist must be hurting from doing all this detailed makeup work.”

“Oh, me? Well, it’s my job. But more importantly, Sena-ssi, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“No, I don’t mean that.”

The makeup artist suddenly lowered her voice.

“I’m talking about Do Changhyeon. Doesn’t it bother you how he’s being so rude?”

“Sorry?”

What is she talking about?

I looked at the makeup artist in the mirror, startled.

“Everyone’s heard about it. Back at the audition, he was all eager to learn from you. But now that he’s gotten a bit famous, suddenly he’s acting all high and mighty, not caring about anything. Seriously, how can he be like that?”

“…”

Listening to her words, I quickly pieced together the situation.

If these rumors had reached even the makeup team, it seemed backstage gossip about Do Changhyeon had spread throughout the set.

My drowsiness vanished instantly.

“Ah, I think everyone’s misunderstanding. Changhyeon and I are on good terms.”

“Oh stop it, Sena-ssi. That’s the problem with you. You don’t have to cover for him. Do Changhyeon’s the one with the issue!”

“No, it’s not like that… Changhyeon and I are keeping our distance temporarily because we’re both immersing ourselves in our roles.”

“What?”

The makeup artist looked at me like I’d just made up the most absurd excuse.

“So I think everyone’s misunderstanding.”

But contrary to my expectations, the makeup artist let out a small laugh.

“Sena-ssi, you know no one’s going to believe that, right?”

“What…?”

“No matter how much you try to cover for him… at least make the excuse believable!”

Oh god.

My mouth fell open slightly, my face equally bewildered.

What on earth…

Come to think of it… people outside this profession wouldn’t have any clue about the situations and struggles that come with method acting.

Just like the makeup artist said, it didn’t seem like people would buy this explanation.

“Has there been… a lot of talk about Changhyeon?”

I asked nervously.

“Oh my, everyone knows about it, right down to the junior staff on each team. Even at team dinners, whenever Do Changhyeon comes up, everyone just badmouths him.”

Hearing that made my head throb.

“It’s not enough just to act to be a real actor, right? Especially for rookies—they should contribute to the set atmosphere. Plus, when even Sena-ssi, who’s way more senior, works this hard.”

“Ah, yeah…”

Listening to her talk made me let out a worried sigh.

What should I do about this…?

* * *

“Ready, action!”

After the two split survivor groups reunited.

I stood facing Do Changhyeon in a small room on an upper floor of an abandoned building.

Do Changhyeon sat precariously perched on the windowsill.

A safety wire was attached to his back.

Even with the wire secured, most people would feel scared looking down from that height.

But Do Changhyeon’s face showed no sign of such fear.

Do Changhyeon stared at me.

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“Call me an idiot. Say it again.”

“What kind of game is this.”

Do Changhyeon smiled faintly.

It was an expression I’d never seen on Do Changhyeon before.

Not at the audition, not in any of Do Changhyeon’s previous work, not even from the Do Changhyeon of my past life.

Right now, Do Changhyeon had crossed some threshold and become Jeong Haeseon completely.

Watching him sent a slight chill down my spine.

“I think I’m starting to understand now.”

“…”

“The real bad person is me. I shouldn’t have been cursing you out.”

“How long are you going to wallow in guilt like that? If you don’t want to take responsibility, then don’t. Don’t save your brother either.”

I snapped irritably, my voice frustrated.

Do Changhyeon answered without moving a muscle.

“That’s the plan.”

Do Changhyeon lifted his hands from the windowsill onto his knees.

His body tilted slightly.

Watching that, I walked toward Do Changhyeon.

“Planning to die?”

“Yeah. Will you kill me?”

“Why would I do you that favor.”

Do Changhyeon looked at me.

I grabbed Do Changhyeon by the collar and looked down at him.

Do Changhyeon’s eyes were completely hollow.

I stared into those empty eyes through a moment of silence.

“I want to stop now. Pretending to be good, trying to save my brother.”

“…”

“Letting go of this makes me realize there’s nothing left for me to do. Nothing left in my life.”

“You have time to whine, so move.”

“I’m not whining.”

“Then who told you to play the good guy? Who told you to risk your life trying to save a half-brother you don’t even like?”

My words struck a nerve, and Do Changhyeon’s face twitched.

“I don’t know either. That’s just what everyone did. Ever since I was little, everyone made me live this way!”

Do Changhyeon’s breath grew ragged as he raised his voice.

“Don’t make excuses. It pisses me off.”

“…”

“Is it their life or yours?”

“It’s not like I don’t know that…”

“Don’t die.”

I cut off Do Changhyeon’s words.

Do Changhyeon looked at me with an expression of disbelief.

I could feel something like expectation in those eyes.

“If you die, it’ll create a lot of trouble for me.”

Hearing my next words, Do Changhyeon let out a hollow laugh.

It felt like he was mockingly laughing at the brief hope he’d allowed himself.

Do Changhyeon batted away my hand gripping his collar and climbed down from the windowsill.

Then he straightened his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair while looking at me.

His gaze had changed subtly from Jeong Haeseon before.

His entire appearance and atmosphere had transformed completely.

Like someone who’d died and been reborn…

Only his outer form remained the same—his eyes and aura had changed entirely.

I stared at him silently.

‘How can someone change like that.’

This went beyond what could be achieved through simple gestures and acting technique.

Had Do Changhyeon’s acting ability always been this good?

Do Changhyeon turned his back with cold, dried-out eyes.

Then opened the door and walked out.

“Cut! Okay!!”

As the okay call rang out, I stood there for a moment, watching the firmly closed door Do Changhyeon had exited through.

* * *

That evening.

I climbed into the van weighed down by worries.

I’d considered approaching Do Changhyeon to talk for a bit, but that plan fell through too.

The look in Do Changhyeon’s eyes during filming earlier kept replaying in my mind.

Actors occasionally encountered such moments.

Against their own will, the moment they get absorbed into a character.

Forgetting themselves and becoming that person completely.

That precious moment came maybe once in a lifetime, if at all.

It felt like Do Changhyeon was experiencing that moment right now.

I didn’t want to carelessly shatter that method.

Plus, Do Changhyeon’s immersion was contributing 200% to the project’s quality.

Every time I watched the monitors, Do Changhyeon’s acting made the zombie outbreak feel increasingly realistic and visceral.

And contrary to everyone’s concerns, rather than being overshadowed by Tak Yeowon’s character, he was perfectly supporting it.

If I approached him too forcefully trying to be friendly in this situation, I might break that immersion.

“I don’t want to do that.”

I pressed my forehead while sinking deep into the seat.

But I couldn’t just ignore the rumors circulating on set either.

“What should I do…”

And more than anything.

‘That scene coming up soon.’

The filming approaching was the reason I’d participated in this project, the scene I’d been pouring all my attention into.

That filming absolutely needed Do Changhyeon’s current level of immersion.

I bit my lip.

It was a complete dilemma.

* * *

Two days later, at a small café.

“Leave it alone.”

I sat across from Lee Seokhyeon and Seo Jaeyeon, meeting them after quite a while.

After hearing the whole story, Lee Seokhyeon spoke curtly, which was unusual—he’d responded before Seo Jaeyeon could.

“Should I really…?”

I hesitated slightly, but Lee Seokhyeon continued.

“On-set gossip is temporary. And nobody remembers that stuff long-term.”

Seo Jaeyeon nodded beside him.

“Filming comes before gossip.”

“Besides, Do Changhyeon must know about this situation too, right?”

Seo Jaeyeon added.

“Ah.”

Come to think of it, I hadn’t considered that angle.

I’d assumed Do Changhyeon wouldn’t know about the current situation.

But backstage gossip always leaked through some crack…

So there was a high probability Do Changhyeon knew too.

“But he’s not stepping up to resolve it. That means he doesn’t want to either. Doesn’t want to break his immersion right now.”

“Ah…”

A deep sigh escaped me.

“Still, these small things can snowball into ridiculous incidents. Especially in this industry.”

I voiced my concerns.

“Seriously. Did you give birth to him after suffering labor pains?”

Seo Jaeyeon shook her head.

“What?”

“How can you be so devoted to your mentees.”

Lee Seokhyeon also chuckled.

“I was wondering what you were worried about. But of course it’s this.”

The two of them brushed it off lightly, showing their veteran composure.

“That kind of thing can be cleared up with a single interview later.”

“You need this too, right? And honestly speaking.”

I listened carefully to Seo Jaeyeon’s words.

“With Do Changhyeon’s experience level, it’d be hard for him not to get overshadowed by you during filming.”

“…”

“He can maintain balance because of that method. Accept what needs accepting.”

“Exactly, I totally agree!”

Lee Seokhyeon nodded.

Ugh.

Feeling frustrated, I gulped down my iced tea.

“By the way, no filming for you today?”

Lee Seokhyeon changed the subject.

“Nope. For the next three days, they’re filming Do Changhyeon’s individual action scenes.”

“Wow, that’s how the schedule worked out? Must be tough.”

“Location issues and all. Plus Do Changhyeon wanted it that way. And I have my own schedule too.”

“You? What are you doing? Thought you were getting a break?”

Seo Jaeyeon asked in surprise.

I grinned at her reaction.

Lee Seokhyeon spoke as if he’d already figured it out.

“You ever seen this person rest? She gets sick if she rests.”

“What are you doing? During filming?”

“There’s something. It’s a secret! I’m leaving first!”

“Hey! Tell us before you go!”

Seo Jaeyeon, who couldn’t stand curiosity, jumped to her feet.

Lee Seokhyeon pulled Seo Jaeyeon back down and firmly pressed a cap onto her head.

I laughed watching the two of them and slipped out of my seat.

* * *

The place I moved to was another café.

Hiss— Pshhh—

“Ahh! Sena-ssi! You don’t steam milk like that!”

“Oops, sorry!”

Wearing a café uniform, I broke into a nervous sweat in front of the coffee machine.

“Unnie, just let me do it…”

A part-timer standing next to me smiled awkwardly and reached out.

“No! I can do this! Let me practice a bit more!”

Giggling sounds came from around me.

Hearing those laughs made me feel embarrassed.

Ugh, this isn’t right.

I flailed around, breaking into more sweat while the staff captured my struggling on camera.

The filming I was doing now was content for my personal iTube account.

The title: <Someone Else’s Life>.

The concept was visiting fans’ part-time jobs or workplaces, learning their work, and doing one-day labor—we planned to film at various locations.

Today being the first episode, we’d started with an easy café part-timer concept.

But contrary to expectations…

“Ah! Hot!”

While steaming milk, I ended up burning my hand.

“Unnie! Please! Just let me do it!!”

The fan who’d submitted the first story raised her voice beside me.

“No, let me try! Really, really. Ah, hot!”

“Ahhh, unnie!”

The fan screamed.