In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 6

The staff’s energetic fighting cheers echoed around me.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, and recalled that day.

Everything appeared vividly before my eyes, as if I’d seen it just yesterday.

I moved toward the prepared filming location.

Just like I’d seen in the script, it was a similar intersection.

The cut we’d be filming went from getting out of the car, seeing Shin Sera collapsed on the road, and getting back in the car.

I quickly reviewed the script in my head.

‘If it wasn’t for you! I could have lived a normal life. You said your dream was to become special. That you were sick of your life, your family, your parents—you wanted to shine. My dream is to become ordinary, you know?’

‘I have nothing compared to you. I have no one! Why do you have to take away even the last thing I have left?’

When I first read it, the lines were so good they made my head ring.

I closed my eyes again and recalled that moment.

When I was inside the script.

When I met Yoo Ji-an.

I took a long breath and emptied my mind.

The surrounding noise gradually faded away from me.

I thought of Yoo Ji-an.

When only Yoo Ji-an and I remained alone in this space, I opened my eyes.

Shortly after, the director finished preparing and spoke.

“Sena-ssi, Yu-ri-ssi—you’re both ready, right? Let’s do it just like we practiced.”

The atmosphere on set became solemn.

Clack, clack.

As I slowly walked toward the prepared car, the sound of my heels echoed through the quiet set.

I sat in the driver’s seat and gripped the steering wheel.

Somehow, I felt the illusion that Yoo Ji-an’s warmth still lingered on the wheel.

My hands began to tremble slightly.

* * *

“Ready—action.”

With Director Moon’s voice, the surroundings became as quiet as death.

Everyone watched Han Sena through the monitor, her forehead pressed against the steering wheel inside the car.

Han Sena raised her head with her eyes still closed.

Her two hands gripping the wheel trembled violently.

Han Sena’s unfocused pupils turned toward Jung Yu-ri, who lay collapsed beyond the windshield.

And soon… Han Sena opened the car door with movements like someone who’d lost their mind.

Smoke was rising from the car wheels.

The moment she opened the door, Han Sena’s body collapsed onto the roadside.

Han Sena struggled to lift her body and approached Jung Yu-ri on legs trembling so badly she looked ready to fall at any moment.

As if her strength had left her, she collapsed sitting in front of her.

One of the staff watching the scene covered their mouth with their hand.

It was such a desperate gesture that it stole the breath of those watching.

Jung Yu-ri turned her head with her eyes open, not yet unconscious.

When Han Sena’s eyes met Jung Yu-ri’s, she showed an expression full of terror.

Then she burst into the tears she’d been holding back so tightly.

She wiped away the tears flowing down her face with both hands and let her crying loose like a child.

Watching that scene, the eyes of several sensitive staff members grew moist.

Writer Lee Si-young was also watching the young actor’s raw performance with intense focus.

In front of her, Han Sena poured out tears for a long while.

At the moment everyone had been waiting for, Han Sena spoke.

“I want to be loved too.”

With those words, Han Sena sobbed out loud like a child.

That sound was so fragile and sad.

Hearing that line, Director Moon slowly lowered the radio he’d been holding near his mouth.

Every staff member’s face went blank.

It was a different line from the script.

The numerous lines written in the script had evaporated.

However, Director Moon blankly watched the young actress cry.

Becoming a viewer on set—it was a first in his entire career.

His heart ached.

Writer Lee Si-young, who’d been watching anxiously inside, also stopped dead after seeing Han Sena’s performance.

She felt shocked, as if she’d been struck on the head.

The lines she’d created after staying up for days and nights were summed up in just one sentence.

That she wanted to be loved too.

The words that young actress had just created.

She felt simultaneously deflated and awed.

Right—that one line was all it needed…

Writer Lee sat down quietly in a folding chair on weakened legs.

Then Han Sena, who’d been crying her heart out, suddenly stopped her tears and captured Jung Yu-ri’s face in her dazed pupils.

Blood flowing from Jung Yu-ri’s body was staining the asphalt.

Han Sena’s face had turned pale white.

Han Sena backed away while still sitting, then stood up and hurried frantically toward the car.

After closing the door and sitting in the driver’s seat, Han Sena glanced once at Jung Yu-ri lying far away, then once at the side mirror.

Looking at her own face in the mirror, Han Sena covered her face with both hands as if she’d seen something horrifying.

Han Sena trembled like an aspen leaf and sobbed.

How much time passed like that…

On the intersection road where only Han Sena’s crying echoed.

“Cut.”

The director’s cut signal sounded.

But no one moved.

As if they’d forgotten how to move.

Even in that moment, Han Sena continued crying inside the car.

Jung Yu-ri, lying on the road, also had tears streaming down her face.

A moment later, the director broke the silence again with a trembling voice.

“Okay.”

First shoot, climax scene, and okay.

It was an extraordinary moment.

At those words, several staff members who’d snapped back to reality hurried over to take care of the two actresses.

Assistant Director Jung Chae-sung, watching that scene, rubbed the goosebumps that had risen to his neck.

‘That person doesn’t act—she creates characters.’

Without question, you might see an actor like this once every few years, if that.

No, perhaps she was someone they’d never see again.

‘How can a rookie actor be like this.’

Jung Chae-sung stared at Han Sena for a long time with meaningful eyes.

Soon, words burst out among the staff and actors.

“She’s really no joke.”

“It’s on a completely different level from the reading?”

“She’s a rookie, right? She has no previous work?”

Actor Jung Yu-ri, who’d been collapsed in front of the car, also composed herself and stood up, still shedding tears.

Han Sena’s face crying before her had been so sad, their situation so painful, that it was difficult to come out of their roles.

Jung Yu-ri never dreamed something like this would happen on the first day of filming.

Usually, difficulty coming out of a role happened around the final episodes, if at all.

‘Just who… is that actor.’

And she was the same age, with far less experience—a rookie.

Jung Yu-ri calmed down for a moment and stood up.

Then she approached Han Sena.

Meanwhile, Writer Lee Si-young rose from her seat.

Then she hurried over to Director Moon and tapped his shoulder.

“Director, I have something to discuss with you.”

“Yes, Writer.”

The director looked at the writer with a still slightly dazed face.

“I want to revise the script a bit.”

“What??”

Director Moon nearly dropped the equipment he was holding.

Jung Chae-sung, standing beside him, spat out the coffee he was drinking.

“…?”

“It won’t take much time. It’s a version of the manuscript I originally wrote. You’ve already seen it, Director.”

“Writer, why suddenly…”

“I’m getting greedy. Because of Sena-ssi.”

Director Moon looked at the writer quietly.

Her face looked like she’d made a decision.

“D-Director. If you revise the cuts, right now there are hundreds of cuts…”

Jung Chae-sung hurriedly interrupted.

But Director Moon cut off Jung Chae-sung’s words.

“Yoo Ji-an’s character is going to change, right?”

Director Moon somehow fully understood the writer’s intention.

This time, Writer Lee Si-young nodded.

“Then as soon as you give me the script, I’ll do a complete revision afterward.”

In an instant, Jung Chae-sung’s face went blank as if his soul had left his body.

“I’m sorry for the trouble. I know this isn’t how it should be done…”

“It’s fine, I understand. It’s you, Writer. You must have your reasons. Well then.”

Director Moon bowed his head and walked on his way.

Jung Chae-sung watched the director’s retreating back, let out a deep sigh, and trudged after him.

Left alone like that, Writer Lee Si-young captured the back view of Han Sena heading toward the waiting room.

* * *

I caught my breath for a moment in the break area.

I was still breathing hard.

How I acted just before—my head was white and I couldn’t remember.

The staff gave me time alone to be considerate of the actor coming out of immersion.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

I lifted the script and fanned my hot face.

My heart kept refusing to calm down.

If Yoo Ji-an were watching me right now, what would she say to me?

Would she say I did well?

Would she say I was a bit better than in my previous life?

I at least hoped I didn’t disappoint her…

Then someone approached and handed me warm tea.

It was Actor Jung Yu-ri.

“Ah, sunbaenim.”

“Don’t worry about it, stay seated.”

She stopped me from getting up and made me sit back down.

“And what sunbaenim? You know we’re the same age, right?”

“Yes.”

I smiled slightly at Actor Jung Yu-ri’s words.

“But still, you’re a former child actor. Compared to me, your experience is like…”

Actually, I’m also twenty years in.

No, is it twenty-one years now?

“Let’s drop formalities—we’re friends.”

I answered awkwardly at Actor Jung Yu-ri’s words.

“Should we?”

“If it’s awkward, how about Yu-ri-ssi, Sena-ssi for how we address each other?”

“Okay.”

I nodded with a smile at those words.

Before my answer even finished, Yu-ri-ssi’s storm of questions continued.

“Sena-ssi, do you have experience with previous works?”

“No… well, maybe school projects?”

“So this is your first time in front of cameras too?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“But how… are you a genius?”

“Huh?”

At those words, I just scratched my head sheepishly.

“I had such a hard time holding back tears because of you earlier, Sena-ssi.”

I was so flustered I didn’t know what to say.

“I envy you, Sena-ssi. You’re so good.”

I quietly observed Yu-ri-ssi’s expression as she said that.

It was a sincere face.

“My parents made me debut when I was a kid, so since I was young, the only thing I knew how to do was act.”

“Ah, yeah…”

“The one thing I knew how to do—I wanted to be good at it, so I’ve done at least one work a year without ever resting. It’s my own way of being ambitious. But…”

Yu-ri-ssi paused briefly.

“Today, you who’s acting for the first time, Sena-ssi, are better than me who’s been acting for over ten years. I was surprised. And envious.”

It was such honest words.

My head went numb.

Thinking back to Actor Jung Yu-ri from my previous life, as a former child actor she really had done various roles every year without discrimination.

When we both entered our forties like that, on TV I had become a fading villainess, while Actor Jung Yu-ri had become a middle-aged woman dreaming new dreams.

And I was hearing words of envy from that person now.

“Let’s be close friends. I may be a former child actor, but I especially have no friends in the industry. I want to be friends with you, Sena-ssi.”

I nodded, a bit surprised at Yu-ri-ssi’s words.

“Uh, yeah… friends. Should we…?”

Friends.

It was a bewildering word.

Because when it came to having no friends, I’d had none for over forty years.

I was quite introverted, and after debuting, while continuously acting as villains and being kicked around chasing other roles, I never had time to make friends.

It was comfortable being alone, too.

“It can’t just be words! Let’s exchange numbers right now.”

Yu-ri-ssi grabbed my phone forcefully and entered her number.

“By the way, Sena-ssi, do you have an agency?”

“An agency, not yet…”

The moment I heard the word agency, my expression instantly crumpled.

It was one of the worst nightmares I didn’t want to recall.

Yu-ri-ssi looked at me with an expression that said she didn’t understand.

“I should look for one slowly from now on.”

I added, trying hard to stay calm.

Then Yu-ri-ssi nodded.

“You’ll probably get a lot of contacts from here and there after it airs, right? Choose carefully.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

I should do that.

I should choose carefully.

Unlike my past life.

My fists clenched automatically with strength.

Then the assistant director approached.

“Sena-ssi, you can leave work first.”

“What? But my later scene…”

“The writer said she’s going into revision work for the scenes with Yoo Ji-an. She said she’ll finish within a week. All of Yoo Ji-an’s scenes are canceled for the time being.”

At those words, both Yu-ri-ssi and I stared blankly at the assistant director.