The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 115

Every night, I force myself to close my eyes while wishing that everything was just a dream.

Because of the migraines that came every few hours, falling asleep was not easy.

Still, if he endured and endured while curling up his body, at some point his consciousness would fade.

With all five senses sharpened to their limits, his sleep was always shallow, and it had already been years since waking up startled by even the smallest sounds became his daily routine.

Today as well, Lee Shinra opened his eyes at the sound of sparks flying from the campfire.

“…….”

He had been roughly curled up, but he stared at the flames without moving a muscle.

The monsters that had been standing awkwardly behind the orange afterimage slowly stepped back under his cold gaze.

Then they crawled into a corner, pressed their bodies together, and pretended to sleep.

Lee Shinra casually glanced at the fat balls of fur that looked similar to wolves but had none of their agility, then slowly stood up.

The fat furballs flinched noticeably when they sensed his movement and even pretended to snore.

As Lee Shinra, now fully standing, passed the campfire and approached them, their snoring grew louder, but he did not even look at the monsters and simply walked out of the cave.

After leaving the enclosed space, moonlight poured down onto the snowy landscape covered in fresh snow.

It was a desolate world with nothing and no one, but that was exactly why Lee Shinra quite liked this place.

In fact, even after spending about four days here, he had not experienced any major inconvenience.

Of course, not being uncomfortable and not being annoyed were two completely different things.

For example, the fat wolves that had less learning ability than a single leg of an ant.

If their purpose had been to attack him while he was off guard, he would have gotten rid of them without hesitation.

However, those monsters had no intention of attacking Lee Shinra.

Monsters adapted to the environment of the snowy mountain had thick fur and the habit of sleeping while sticking close to each other to share body heat.

Lee Shinra, who entered this gate about four days ago, first found the named monster and trapped it inside a barrier. He planned to leave it there and release it when he left the gate.

However, there was one small problem: the monsters here had extremely low intelligence.

They had accepted Lee Shinra, who easily defeated their leader, as their new boss.

If that was all, he would not have cared, but there was a bigger problem.

Those furry idiots thought he was an underdeveloped member of their species.

In other words, they assumed that because he had no fur like them, he must be cold.

‘They keep clinging to me. It’s annoying…….’

If they had enough intelligence to understand a warning telling them not to approach, they would not have considered Lee Shinra one of their kind in the first place.

They were cautious now, but during the first few days, they constantly approached him, wagging their tails and licking him like crazy.

Even so, he did not feel like killing them.

Lee Shinra did not enter this gate to conquer it. He entered because he was looking for a quiet place to rest.

He usually stayed inside gates for about a week to ten days.

Once that time passed, he would no longer be able to stay even if he wanted to.

There were still a few days left until he reached the average.

‘……Other than them being annoying, there isn’t really anything uncomfortable.’

Ignoring the whining sounds of the monsters, Lee Shinra looked up at the dark blue sky and slowly breathed out.

At first, he had definitely entered the gate intending to die.

To people desperately wishing for tomorrow, his thoughts would sound insane, but Lee Shinra was desperate too. Because the meaning of living had gradually disappeared.

The many events that began with the gate outbreak made him distrust humans.

Of course, Lee Shinra had always been an unsociable person.

However, having difficulty dealing with people and completely losing trust in them were different things.

Now, aside from Yeon Do-gyeong and Cha Eun-hwi, whom he occasionally saw, he did not communicate with anyone.

Lee Shinra had only lived with the two of them for exactly half a year after leaving the headquarters.

At first, the three of them searched for gates together and conquered them recklessly.

Their goal was obvious: to find the gate where Hyeya was.

They hoped that another miracle-like coincidence would happen, but all three of them knew that it was impossible from the beginning.

Even so, none of them said, “Let’s stop now.”

No, perhaps they could not say it.

Looking back, it was amazing that none of them died despite reaching that level of exhaustion.

But eventually, they became worn out.

One day, Lee Shinra entered a gate alone without making any preparations.

He did not have the courage to take his own life. So he wanted to close his eyes somewhere no one could find him.

He had no intention of using his ability or resisting.

Whether he was eaten by a monster or attacked, he wanted everything to end there, but he could not.

By coincidence, the gate he entered was an extremely peaceful place.

There were no monsters that attacked first, and all of them were gentle and weak. Instead of attacking him, they approached him with curiosity.

He considered defeating the named monster and searching for another gate, but the named monster looked like an old chick, so he could not bring himself to attack it.

So Lee Shinra simply did nothing there.

As an awakened person, his body was unusually strong, but he was still human and needed food and water.

Whether he starved to death or dried out and died, he would eventually die if he stayed like this.

That was what he thought, but then a crack appeared in front of him.

The hole that appeared even though he had not defeated the named monster pulled Lee Shinra in and spat him back outside. Then the gate disappeared.

He was found lying blankly in the ruined city by Cha Eun-hwi and Yeon Do-gyeong, who had gone searching for him after he disappeared.

Lee Shinra received silent scolding from his pale-faced brothers, but he did not tell them what had happened.

A few days later, Lee Shinra entered another gate.

This time, he expected a dangerous place, but there was an unexpected problem.

He and Cha Eun-hwi and Yeon Do-gyeong had already conquered every dangerous gate nearby.

Gates appeared every day, but no one knew where they would appear.

The remaining gates were all low-grade ones that even Lee Shinra, who lacked strong offensive abilities, could conquer alone.

The weak monsters were too busy running away even when Lee Shinra attacked first.

So this time as well, he lay there doing nothing for several days…… but another crack appeared.

As if someone’s will was interfering, saying that he could not be allowed to die there, Lee Shinra was forcibly expelled. This time too, the gate closed immediately after throwing him out.

It was empty and absurd. While countless unpleasant emotions swirled like a storm, feelings of sorrow rose inside him.

‘Why me.’

That was right. Why me. Why did it have to be me?

Those were the only thoughts that came to mind.

That miracle should have gone to Hyeya, not him.

Lee Shinra, who unknowingly cried like a child, was found and rescued by his brothers. They forced him to eat and drink before he told them what had happened.

And then they began experiments.

For several days, they entered gates and did nothing but breathe.

Then, right when their minds became hazy, cracks appeared and forced the three of them outside.

They could not be certain what this meant, but one thing was clear: it was a phenomenon that appeared after the gate outbreak.

After wandering around here and there until three seasons had passed, the three of them separated with different goals.

Cha Eun-hwi said it would be better to develop the stabilizer again and headed to Sachorong Hospital, which was connected to Song Yu-seong.

Yeon Do-gyeong said he would just try to live somehow, but at some point, he began acting together with survivors.

It had been several months since Lee Shinra last saw them, but both of them seemed to be doing well on the surface.

Lee Shinra continued wandering wherever his feet took him, and whenever he found a gate, he entered it.

During the past year, he had spent more time living inside gates than outside.

Unfortunately, he still had not found a gate dangerous enough to kill him.

He kept staying in peaceful places and getting kicked out, but someday another A-rank gate would appear.

Lee Shinra chuckled, hoping that day would come soon.

Let everything be destroyed.

He believed he was in relatively normal condition, but objectively, he was about 80% insane. Tears fell from his eyes as he sniffled.

This happened five days before Lee Shinra met Hyeya.