The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me – Chapter 85

Author: Asternkm

If there isn’t enough guiding, espers can’t use their abilities properly, and gate raids suffer.

That’s where the dilemma begins.

Do we distribute guides evenly so even underperforming squads receive support?
Or do we prioritize high-performing squads and give guiding only to them?

The Korean headquarters chose the latter.

That’s why Taerin unnie exclusively handles the Geumgang Squad, and I exclusively handle ours.

In my case, though, the Director’s influence played a role.

He carries guilt toward me.

The day we talked about the Graphite Squad, we briefly discussed my parents too.

While I was missing, as expected, the rights to my parents’ inheritance and other matters had been transferred to the Director.

He went through the procedures to return everything to me and handed over the documents—

all while carrying heavy guilt toward someone who remembered nothing.

Still, our squad performs extremely well, so there hasn’t been much backlash.

Anyway, because of all that, this isn’t a situation where headquarters can slowly and safely nurture guides.

“Guide Yoon Hyeya and I are special cases,” Lee Muhwan said. “But other countries must be hiding something too. They just haven’t made official announcements. Honestly, I was surprised you revealed that guides can grow stronger.”

“Gates are humanity’s enemy. Sharing that much is natural. But your special abilities and Hyeya’s should remain classified.”

“That makes sense. By the way, is there still no explanation for why monsters target guides? You communicate with other associations, Director. There must be at least a few hypotheses.”

At his blunt question, everyone—including me—looked at the Director.

He didn’t move, but I noticed him take a slight breath in.

His reply was short.

“There isn’t.”

“If you’re going to deny it, you should react two seconds faster. That little inhale screamed, ‘I’m hiding something.’ Right, Esper Yeon Dogyeong?”

“Don’t act close… sir. Anyway, Director. If you know why our Yoon Hyeya—and other guides—are being targeted and you’re hiding it, I’ll spread everything I hear here. I exchanged numbers with Jung Haram the other day. If I tell him, the whole headquarters will know in a day. It might even hit the news.”

He exchanged numbers with Jung Haram? He hated him.

I glanced at Dogyeong’s face and immediately knew it was a lie.

He’s annoyingly good at pushing the right buttons.

He knows exactly where to poke to get a reaction.

And worse—he’s bold and reckless enough to actually follow through.

I know. I dealt with him for eight years.

The Director, who knew Dogyeong just as well, let out the longest sigh of the day.

“This is classified. It must not leave this room.”

“Even from our squad members?”

“…I’ll leave that to Guide Lee Muhwan and Esper Seo Jaeyeon for the Graphite Squad. But if this spreads through them, there will be consequences.”

“Yes, understood.”

The Director sighed again and sat on the sofa.

We had all been standing except Dogyeong.

Once everyone sat down, he began.

“There have been many hypotheses about gates. The most credible one suggests that the beings inside gates exist within a repeating timeline. The American ESP Association proposed it, supported by three cases.”

I knew this theory well.

Cha Eunhwi had mentioned it before, and I had thought about it when I was trapped inside a gate.

The same named monster appearing despite different time flows. Sometimes named monsters being absent when a gate opens. Sometimes no trace of awakened who failed to escape—and other times, traces remaining…

Other theories lacked solid evidence.

Aliens. Parallel worlds. Humanity dreaming.

The Director closed his eyes briefly, then continued.

“Forty-nine years ago, four people died inside a gate. Their bodies were not recovered. Fifteen years ago, that same gate reopened in another country. The bones of the four were found. Then four years ago, when the gate opened for a third time, their bodies were inside again.”

“Yes. That strengthened the repeating timeline theory.”

“Correct. Two months ago, that gate appeared again. A fourth occurrence is rare but not unprecedented. The problem was inside. An esper who entered encountered the four who had supposedly died forty-nine years ago. One of them was alive.”

Silence filled the room.

The Director himself broke it.

“They rescued the survivor. But his injuries were severe—beyond complete healing. His physical condition was extremely weakened. He never regained consciousness and died a week later. You understand what this implies.”

I did.

There was no way not to.

If you could align with the correct timeline—

you could rescue people who died long ago.

My mother.

My father.

Lee Muhwan’s hollow laugh broke the silence.

“If that became public, chaos would erupt. Gates only started appearing seventy years ago. Plenty of families lost loved ones.”

“That’s why it’s classified,” the Director said. “Not only civilians. Most awakened have lost family, friends, lovers, or comrades inside gates. If people believe they can retrieve the dead, they might try to overload gate-generation devices. Conduct dangerous experiments. Act on false information. Once that’s out of control, the world will descend into chaos again.”

As he spoke, he looked at me.

Then at Cha Eunhwi.

Then Dogyeong.

Then Shinra.

Not long ago, they had lived like broken men because they thought I was dead.

Even when we reunited, there had been something unstable in their eyes.

If they had known this back then… they might really have tried to force a gate open. Or something worse.

And they weren’t the only unstable espers in the world.

Even I, just now, had thought of my parents.

Even though it would depend entirely on a miracle.

I let out a quiet breath.

Dogyeong frowned.