Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 95

“It’s a secret!”

“You really won’t tell me?”

“Nope, of course not.”

The carriage rolled onward.

With the agreement that it would remain a secret that Ridel, who absolutely adored romance, had once again asked about the happiness of the two of them.

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

After returning to the Cloyden estate in Bellachen, I spent an entire day doing nothing—well, trying to think about nothing—and sleeping.

I also tried not to think about my relationship with Ehit that entire day. I felt like if I started thinking about it while exhausted, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

‘For now, I’m only thinking about the salary that’s five times what I used to earn.’

With that resolution, I slept soundly.

‘How many hours did I sleep?’

I had fallen asleep when it was dark, and sunlight was already filtering through the curtains, so I must have slept at least twelve hours.

“Yaaawn.”

Still lying down, I stretched my body out as I yawned. Holding my breath, I stretched fully, then rolled around the bed one way and the other.

‘Has Ehit gotten up yet?’

He must have been very tired too. Maybe he slept a lot as well.

If he was awake, maybe I should ask him to eat something with me.

For a moment, I considered cooking for him since he had made sandwiches for me on the ship, but quickly abandoned the idea.

‘Then what should I eat?’

Sleep really is the best medicine.

The thoughts that had spiraled endlessly into negativity during that miserable expedition had somehow turned optimistic after a five-star sleep in a five-star room.

Partly because the peaceful scenery around me calmed my heart.

And partly because what had happened the day before the final battle kept coming back to mind.

“……”

I pulled the blanket all the way over my head.

Then I heard a knock from outside.

“Dapfl—”

Before the voice calling my name could even finish, I practically flew to the door and flung it open.

“Did you sleep well?”

“You’re quick. Quick enough that our navy ought to recruit you.”

“I spent several days in rough conditions. My reflexes improved.”

“I should have handed you a gun or a sword sooner.”

“I was waiting for that, you know.”

Smiling, Ehit leaned against the doorframe with an arm braced against it.

Watching him lower his head slightly and look at me closely, I found myself smiling without realizing it.

“Was there anything else you were waiting for?”

“Huh?”

Something I was waiting for?

What had I been waiting for?

“What was I waiting for?”

I only asked because I genuinely didn’t know, but Ehit’s eyelids lowered slightly, as though disappointed.

Only then did I realize what answer he had wanted.

My smile deepened on its own.

Just look at this sly man.

“Why are you only showing up now? The sun’s already high in the sky.”

“I came earlier too. Dapflen just kept sleeping.”

“Really?”

“Did you truly wait for me? I mean me.”

“Well. I mostly slept the entire time after arriving.”

“Dapflen.”

The way he pressed for the answer he wanted felt unlike his usual self, and somehow I found it cute.

Ehit Cloyden.

The calm and cold center of Bellachen’s navy.

Who would ever guess that he could be this needy?

No one but me knew it now.

“I waited.”

He tried to look unaffected, but I could see the corners of his lips lift slightly at my answer.

While quietly looking at me, Ehit suddenly reached out a hand.

Thinking he wanted me to take it, I started to extend mine, but instead his arms slid behind my neck and beneath my knees.

He lifted me up in an instant.

“W-Wait, Ehit!”

“Yes, Dapflen?”

He was doing this because he knew I’d get flustered.

I squirmed in his arms, but the arms holding me didn’t budge at all.

Ehit simply laid me back down on the bed.

Then he guided my arms so they wrapped more securely around his neck.

Naturally, the distance between our faces grew even smaller.

Our noses brushed lightly, and Ehit smiled.

The hand stroking my hair was so careful, as though handling something precious.

“…Why are you looking at me like that…?”

“Well, why do you think?”

“If Ehit doesn’t know, who would?”

“Maybe Dapflen knows.”

“Then option one, there’s something on my head and you’re staring at it. Option two, my expression looks funny and you’re staring at it. Option three—”

“You’re right. Option two.”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him, but Ehit remained completely composed.

Looking at that expression, I almost started wondering if he really was staring because I looked funny.

What was that?

There were so many funnier and more interesting things both inside and outside the estate.

I parted my lips slightly to complain.

At that moment, lips carrying the trace of a smile lightly touched mine.

I blinked five times in a second and swallowed hard.

“Actually, it’s not option two. It’s option three.”

“What’s option three…?”

He kissed me again.

Maybe because I unconsciously tightened my arms around his neck too much, Ehit wrinkled his nose and laughed.

“This is option three.”

“……”

“When I look at all your expressions, the things you say to me, the things you do… they make me happy. That’s why I was staring.”

“Really?”

Ehit nodded.

My entire face felt hot.

I barely resisted the urge to turn away and instead looked directly up at him.

So was Ehit saying that he found me lovable?

From my perspective, it was difficult to believe.

Of course, we had kissed during the expedition too.

But I had thought that was less sincerity and more a fleeting misunderstanding, a moment of comfort.

But now things were different.

I’d slept well.

I was lying in the softest, most comfortable bed imaginable.

The day was bright and clear.

There was no reason for that sort of misunderstanding now.

“Dapflen.”

And yet the voice calling my name sounded gentle and affectionate.

Maybe I was only hearing what I wanted to hear.

Maybe I had become so infatuated that not only my eyes but even my ears were deceiving me.

Then perhaps none of this meant anything special to Ehit at all.

But…

My fingertips touched the collar of the shirt beneath my hands around his neck.

I pulled him closer.

“Dapflen?”

At first, I had thought it would be enough if it were only fleeting comfort.

Even if he never gave me his true heart, it would be enough if he wanted me beside him, even for a moment.

But desire always grows faster than anything else.

If all this was doing was shaking my heart, then I didn’t want that anymore.

Meeting my gaze at close range, Ehit blinked his blue eyes.

A lock of hair had fallen across my forehead and tickled my skin.

The closer we got, the more nervous I became.

But I didn’t avoid him.

I didn’t turn away.

Looking straight into his eyes, I asked,

“Ehit, do you like me?”

Ehit, who had been looking down at me while supporting himself beside my head with one arm, raised an eyebrow.

His expression seemed to ask why I would even ask that.

But I wanted an answer.

The heart was hard enough to understand even when spoken aloud.

How much harder was it when nothing was said?

As the silence stretched and he simply continued looking at me, anxiety crept in.

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

The question had come at the very peak of my optimism.

Suddenly, my confidence crumbled.

“I’ll try harder.”

That was the answer I received.

Which only made it worse.

Still playing with my hair, Ehit spoke words that felt frustratingly vague.

“Try harder at what?”

At liking me?

The moment I asked, my cheeks began burning.

Did Ehit think I was begging him to love me?

Pretending to sound calm, I hurriedly added an explanation.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I’m not saying you should force yourself to develop feelings. I was just curious. Just in case.”

“Dapflen.”

Now my whole face was burning.

I thought I had spoken clearly and calmly, but when I replayed it in my head, it sounded like complete nonsense.

Ehit redirected my gaze back to him.

“That’s not what I meant either.”

“Huh?”

“I never imagined Dapflen would be this unaware of my feelings. That’s why I said I’d try harder. So that you could understand them more clearly.”

My brain seemed to stop working.

Then… what did he mean?

“I suppose I’ve never actually said it outright.”

“Then… what exactly do you mean?”

“It means I think Dapflen misunderstood what I said earlier.”

“Then what do you mean?”

Ehit freed one of my hands and intertwined our fingers.

Then he lifted it and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

“I only do this with Dapflen.”

Placing our joined hands back onto the bedsheet, he kissed the corner of my eye.

Then the bridge of my nose.

And finally my lips, which by now were probably either bright red or completely pale.

“I only do this, too.”

My head, my lips—everything seemed to go blank.

All I could do was blink.

“…Could you do it one more time?”

I found myself mumbling.

“The more you explain it, the less I remember what it felt like. And I still don’t really understand what you mean by ‘only with me’…”

Ehit smiled like summer.

Then, before I could even finish speaking, he covered my lips with his.

The kiss, which began as a light interruption, gradually deepened.

Behind his warm smile was a possessiveness so intense that it seemed to consume me.

Our intertwined fingers tightened.

The hand cupping my cheek slid behind my neck.

“…Ah.”

My breath caught, and a ragged gasp escaped me.

Ehit pressed closer, barely giving me a chance to breathe.

I freed one hand and pushed weakly against his chest.

Beneath the thin shirt, solid muscle met my palm.

But that only seemed to encourage him further.

Only after I let out a helpless sound did Ehit finally pull back a little.

Breathing hard, I glared at him.

Ehit smiled apologetically and pressed a series of small kisses against my cheek.

To feel this exhausted from kissing alone… it was almost like exercising.