Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 96

We stayed like that for a while, holding each other tightly.

Neither of us said anything, but words stronger than words were circling around us.

This—everything he was doing to me—felt more like a dream than a dream itself, like something too unreal to be real.

“We should have done this much sooner.”

Ehit looked down at me, his eyes filled with a calm, happy ease.

At his words, I nodded and said, “Yeah.”

If we had really done this from the beginning, how much happier would the time we spent together have been? How many more memories could we have made with someone who might only stay for a short while?

There was regret, but looking into his eyes right now, that regret slowly turned into something warmer, something overwhelming.

An engagement—an agreement of marriage, at least in promise—also means expecting each other to find happiness through one another.

I had never even considered sharing feelings with him, so I had forgotten it, but that was what engagement meant.

Then… could I also expect something like that?

Ehit buried his face into my shoulder and took a deep breath.

Could I hope for it? That I could be with him.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“I am.”

“Anything you want to eat?”

That I could accept his everyday life like this, without hesitation.

“I want bread with lots of butter and cheese.”

“Let’s go.”

Ehit smiled and got up, then reached out his hand to help me sit up.

“Oh, but before that.”

Ehit was always so composed, yet at the same time rough in a way. I realized that again as I watched him kiss me.

With his arms around my waist, he pushed me back again, and my sense of reason started to fade.

Heat spread through me and my strength melted away.

Hey, weren’t we going to eat?!

But just as I was getting used to the kiss and about to push back, Ehit pulled away first.

As I reached out again, feeling suddenly empty, he beat me to it.

“You said you were hungry.”

“Right… well, yes. I am hungry. We should eat.”

So eating came before anything else for him.

“Let’s go.”

I got off the bed and headed for the door, then suddenly turned back around.

“And I have something to say.”

“What is it?”

“I like you.”

“……”

“I don’t think I’ve said that yet.”

I said it lightly, almost without thinking, still half-floating in that hazy feeling. But the moment I spoke, reality caught up with me and my face burned twice as hot.

“Anyway, that’s it!”

“Dapflen.”

Just as I tried to escape the room, Ehit turned me back toward him.

“You should wait for an answer.”

“……”

“I like you. Very much.”

At this point, I didn’t even know anymore. Could he even tell the difference between my face and the red blanket on the sofa?

And then it started again.

I really had no idea when we would ever get to go eat.

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

That day, I tasted all the joy the world had to offer.

I ate with Ehit, read in the garden in the afternoon, and spent time alone with him.

It felt like time itself had stopped.

Or maybe I just wanted it to stop.

I tried to push away thoughts of what was to come, but a faint fear still lingered.

Every moment was so happy that I forgot what I had ever been afraid of, or why I had struggled so much until now.

But if there had been no calm before the storm, the phrase “calm before the storm” wouldn’t exist.

 

 

****

 

 

The next day, I went to the medical center.

“Dapflen, things were really hard here without you!”

“Yes, yes.”

When I arrived, Oliver gave me a summary of everything that had happened at the medical center and in Bellachen while I was away.

While half-listening, I was already thinking about what to eat with Ehit for dinner.

‘Jeiman is coming to the Bellachen estate today too. What food would be good for a child?’

“Dapflen, are you listening?”

“Yes, of course.”

“You seem like your mind is somewhere else. Anyway—”

While sorting medical supplies with my hands, I casually listened to Oliver’s story.

Most of what he said could go in one ear and out the other.

“Oh right. I don’t know if you heard this part, Dapflen.”

But there was one thing.

“It’s about your noble sister-in-law. While you were in the North, someone tried to kill that princess.”

My hands stopped.

“Dapflen?”

“…Someone tried to kill her?”

“Oh, I startled you. Makes sense. But the culprit hasn’t been caught yet.”

After hearing that, I sat there for a moment, then got up to drink some water. My face might have gone pale without me realizing it.

Because I knew this already—it was in the original story.

Someone trying to kill Jeiman, Ehit’s younger sister.

“Because of her status, they said even the second daughter Jeiman was targeted… sigh. People really risk titles for money.”

That event.

It had really happened.

Even after everything, even after all my warnings, it still happened.

Was it my brothers? Was it really them?

Unlike the happiness of yesterday, anxiety rose rapidly inside me.

Jeiman’s smiling face flashed in my mind.

‘What if something like this happens again…?’

Once someone gets hurt or dies, it cannot be undone.

A heavy sense of guilt began to grow in my chest.

Guilt for ignoring something important.

Guilt for pretending not to know where this world was headed, and what would happen to Jeiman and Cloyden.

Yesterday, I had pushed all bad thoughts away so strongly it felt like a defense mechanism. Maybe that’s why today felt even worse.

But this fear wasn’t baseless. Something had really happened to Jeiman.

In the evening, I returned to the estate in a confused state.

‘How am I supposed to look at Jeiman? Or Ehit?’

Even though Jeiman wasn’t hurt, the thought of something so terrifying happening…

‘I should apologize on behalf of my family.’

My head was full of that thought.

I entered the estate feeling dizzy. The more I tried to organize my thoughts, the more tangled they became.

“Auntie! No, big sister!”

Then Jeiman ran out and jumped into my arms.

“…Princess.”

“I came yesterday but I was one day late. Did you have a good trip?”

Jeiman rubbed her face against my chest. Her soft, childlike scent felt so familiar.

“Princess, I… I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I had already decided I needed to apologize.

“But…”

But what would saying it change?

My thoughts suddenly went blank. I stopped myself mid-sentence.

If I apologized now… what would I even say?

That it was my family who tried to kill Jeiman? That they were blinded by power?

Was I going to say that?

That would mean ending my current relationships—and my family—on my own.

“……”

I became scared. And I couldn’t speak anymore.

“Sister?”

“No… let’s go eat something delicious, okay?”

“Yay!”

Seeing Jeiman happily nuzzling against me only made my chest hurt more.

‘She must have been scared.’

The guilt pressed heavily against my heart.

But I didn’t have the courage. I wasn’t confident I could bear the future if I spoke the truth.

“Dapflen, is something wrong?”

Ehit asked me as I was heading back after dinner and playing with Jeiman.

He must have noticed. I thought I had hidden it well, but apparently not.

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong.”

I answered brightly and went back to my room.

I had lied for my own sake. About something that involved Jeiman, Ehit, and Cloyden.

‘Maybe I should just tell them.’

No… I should at least hear more about my brothers first.

With that excuse to delay telling the truth, I forced myself to sleep.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The next day, it hurt.

‘I can’t believe I’m such a moral person…’

The fact that I wasn’t telling the truth about that incident pricked at me everywhere. I felt sick all day.

I left the medical center early and returned to the estate in the afternoon, and Ehit came to see me only a few hours later.

“Dapflen.”

Ehit looked even paler than I did. He looked like I was dying.

“I told you not to push yourself.”

“I didn’t push myself. I even left work early today.”

“You should have rested for a few more days.”

Ehit looked deeply distressed.

I didn’t understand why he was this worried about just a mild fever, but I still liked that he cared.

And yet it made me uneasy.

I kept imagining what expression he would make once he learned the truth.

Would he look at me with contempt? Or would he laugh bitterly at how selfish the person he once cared about turned out to be?

“I’m going to sleep now, Ehit.”

“I’ll stay with you.”

“I sleep better alone. See you tomorrow.”

I gently smiled and sent him out.

Then I slid down to sit on the floor, leaning my heated forehead against the door.

‘What should I do?’

I had planned to think for just one more day.

But something new happened, not even giving me time to think about it properly.