Formless Chapter 27

Heewoon shook his head. His vision was blurry from tears, so he strongly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He kept rubbing because he didn’t feel like the tears were being wiped away, but his wrist was grabbed firmly.

Surprised, he lifted his head, and Seo Gangwoo grabbed both his arms and pulled him up. It was surprising how he effortlessly lifted an adult man of average height, even if he was skinny.

Heewoon, sitting on Gangwoo’s firm thigh, stared blankly down at Gangwoo’s frown. He used to wonder how tall Seo Gangwoo was. He was definitely in the late 180s, but Heewoon didn’t know the exact number.

“Gangwoo. How tall are you?”

Seo Gangwoo, narrowing his brows, didn’t answer and said something else.

“I said I’d throw you out the window if you acted drunk.”

Heewoon ruminated on the words spoken in a low, descending voice, then asked,

“…What floor is it?”

“It’s high enough to kill you.”

“Ah….”

Gangwoo, who was glaring at Heewoon lowering his eyes, roughly yanked the back of Heewoon’s neck and crashed their lips together. His lips, which had become tender from all the biting, immediately bled from the injury. Gangwoo licked the pooled drop of blood, tilted Heewoon’s head back, and pushed his tongue inside.

A sigh escaped whenever their tongue tips slightly brushed. Gangwoo licked the blood that had formed again on his lips and then pulled his head back. Heewoon watched Gangwoo’s Adam’s apple move up and down as he contained Heewoon’s blood. He imagined Gangwoo sucking all his blood dry.

“No wonder.”

A low whisper touched Heewoon’s chin. The hand supporting the back of his head slowly moved down from his neck. Gangwoo traced Heewoon’s spine, descending, and felt around Heewoon’s waist. Then, he suddenly slipped his hand beneath Heewoon’s shirt.

He firmly grasped Heewoon’s pelvis, preventing him from escaping, and fumbled with the waistband of his pants. His waist was loose enough for the hand to enter. Gangwoo’s frown grew deeper.

“I thought you knew everything.”

Heewoon said blankly. He had been afraid that there was nothing Seo Gangwoo didn’t know or couldn’t do, but he hadn’t needed to worry.

“There were things even you didn’t know.”

Haa. Gangwoo sighed and pressed Heewoon’s lips with his index finger and thumb, pinching them. Pulling them forward, he said,

“Chatter, chatter. Do you think I’ll let it slide because you’re drunk?”

“Uh-uh…”

Heewoon, whose lips were pulled forward, grabbed Gangwoo’s wrist. He wasn’t able to push him away; he was just holding on. When Gangwoo withdrew his hand, Heewoon immediately covered his lips.

“Hmm? Say it.”

“…I-I don’t think you’ll let anything slide….”

The words were indistinct because his hand was covering his lips. The half of his face visible above his hand was filled with fear. Gangwoo made a sound of escaping air, a laugh.

Heewoon cautiously observed Gangwoo. He seemed dumbfounded, and perhaps also amused. What was certain was that there was no coldness.

Gangwoo supported Heewoon’s back with one hand and reached toward the table. Because Heewoon was half-standing, he was afraid of falling backward, so he clung to Gangwoo’s neck. Gangwoo let out a small chuckle, picked up the orange juice, and sat back down.

“Drink.”

Heewoon released his arms from Gangwoo’s neck and took the juice glass. His throat was thirsty anyway, so he drank it all, making a gulp, gulp sound. Gangwoo burst into a small laugh at the graphic sound. Ah. This is driving me crazy. Gangwoo turned his head and muttered to himself.

“Want more?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Listening to the kind voice, Heewoon awkwardly held the empty cup. Gangwoo’s gaze fell on his fidgeting hands, then landed on his lips, which were stained with juice droplets. Gangwoo leaned in and stuck out his tongue to lick the juice. He stirred inside Heewoon’s mouth as if tasting it before moving away.

“Eat something before you go. Should I order something else?”

Gangwoo glanced at the table and asked gently. Heewoon turned around to look at the table. A neatly sliced piece of cheesecake was visible. Heewoon shook his head.

“Ah, no.”

“Do you dislike eating, or do you dislike ordering something else?”

“…”

It included both. So, Heewoon hesitated, and Seo Gangwoo frowned and said,

“You’re not getting your act together.”

Although it was slightly chilling, Heewoon didn’t brace himself for a hit. This was because Gangwoo’s eyes were round and curved. Gangwoo patted his hip and lowered Heewoon beside him.

Heewoon set the glass he was holding down on the table, watched Gangwoo, and picked up a fork. He thought he would only be sent home if he ate that, so he took a large bite and chewed. He hadn’t noticed earlier, but his head felt a little dizzy.

Perhaps he really was drunk, as Seo Gangwoo had said.

Then, perhaps sleeping tonight while drunk wouldn’t be so bad. If this feeling, like a thick curtain had been drawn over the dark emotions that felt ready to burst into tears at any moment, was due to alcohol, it was better for the alcohol not to wear off.

“Do you want to drink?”

Seeing Heewoon intently looking at the liquor bottle, Gangwoo tilted his head and asked. Heewoon nodded with his mouth closed.

“Alright, then.”

Gangwoo silently watched Heewoon, who was pouring the alcohol with a gloomy face. Heewoon poured a glass full of whiskey without ice and drank it like juice. His face, which had lost its redness, slowly flushed again.

Heewoon, who was alternating between cheesecake and alcohol, suddenly mumbled,

“I want to eat ramen.”

Gangwoo, who was staring intently at Heewoon, picked up the receiver.

Is ramen possible?

Gangwoo’s gaze, holding the receiver, was continuously directed at Heewoon. The thought had just slipped out of his mouth because he was tipsy; Heewoon had no desire to eat ramen in this luxurious hotel room.

He thought Seo Gangwoo would send him home after he finished the cheesecake, but this meant he would stay longer.

Moreover, the ramen that arrived a few minutes later was not what Heewoon had imagined. He had only thought of eating it with just one egg, but the one topped with shrimp, abalone, and red king crab was far too luxurious for ramen.

“It’s delicious….”

The thought in his mind popped out. Heewoon paused slightly but quickly used his chopsticks, thinking he should eat quickly and leave.

Gangwoo stroked his chin, staring intently at Heewoon, who was picking up the crab legs and sucking on them.

“Sunbae.”

“…Huh?”

“Want to drink some more alcohol?”

Heewoon rolled his eyes, not knowing Gangwoo’s intention behind saying that. Gangwoo pointed at the liquor bottle on the table with his chin.

“If you finish that whole bottle, you’ll be completely drunk, right.”

“Uh-huh…”

Heewoon became scared, though much slower than usual. He fidgeted, still holding his chopsticks. It felt like Seo Gangwoo would pour that strong alcohol down his throat at any moment.

Gangwoo slightly turned his head, looked at Heewoon, and smiled.

“I was just saying that.”

Keep eating.

Heewoon deeply bowed his head and ate the ramen. He thought it would be best to eat quickly and get out of there soon. So, he rapidly finished the ramen, went to the bathroom to rinse his mouth, washed his face, and came out.

And….

Heewoon stared blankly at his cell phone.

Covering the surge of emotion that rose up when Gangwoo told him to check his balance with the haze of alcohol, he turned on the app, then stood frozen in place, staring at the screen.

Balance: 5,000,800 won.

The value of his act of kneeling and begging was 5 million won.

The sound of slippers dragging approached Heewoon, who was frozen as if his feet were glued to the floor. Gangwoo stood in front of Heewoon and ruffled his bangs.

“Did you wash your face?”

“Uh-huh….”

“How do you wash your face and get everything wet here too.”

The chest of his gray hoodie was damp, turning it a dark gray. Gangwoo poked the wet stain. Heewoon looked at the number on the screen, then lifted his head.

“B-But why 5 million won…”

It was a much larger amount than the income he usually earned from tutoring. Gangwoo slowly spoke while peeling away the bangs stuck to Heewoon’s forehead.

“Gave 2 million to the loan sharks, 1 million to your mom… And you only get 350,000 won.”

Gangwoo gently tapped Heewoon’s cheek.

“The person who’s suffering like a dog gets the smallest share.”

“…”

Heewoon’s lips twitched.

Your eyes are bright red. At Gangwoo’s muttering, Heewoon rubbed his eyes. Gangwoo swatted Heewoon’s hand away as if it were bothersome, then softly cupped his cheek and said,

“Use the card when you buy snacks.”

“Huh?”

“Use the card for the money sunbae spends, I mean.”

“…Yes.”

Heewoon answered in a small voice.

🧸

The street trees quickly flashed past outside the taxi.

Seo Gangwoo handed him several 50,000 won bills and told him to take a taxi. Heewoon wanted to take the bus out of habit of saving money, but he didn’t. This was because he now knew that Seo Gangwoo had truly assigned people to watch him.

And because he knew well what would happen if he didn’t listen to him.

Heewoon stared fixedly, as if glaring, at the numbers displayed on his phone. Seo Gangwoo said he would send this money every month. The feeling of being drunk had completely worn off, though Heewoon couldn’t say exactly when. He only felt like he had been looking at the phone for a very short time, but the taxi had already arrived home. The time was halved compared to when he took the bus.

“I’m home.”

Heewoon opened the sliding door and looked inside.

“Oh… You’re back?”

His mother, who had been lying down, rose groggily. Heewoon fiddled with his cell phone unnecessarily before putting it in his pocket.

“You came home a little early today?”

“Ah, yes…. Um, Mom.”

“Yes?” His mother, who was about to lie back down toward the TV, looked at Heewoon. Heewoon parted his lips and then said slowly,

“…I deposited the living expenses. I also sent money to the Mister next door.”

“Didn’t you say you would get it tomorrow?”

Heewoon moved his lips and then spoke fleetingly,

“…He gave it to me today.”

And without looking at his mother’s face, he went straight into the bathroom.

As expected, sleep did not come at night. He stared blankly into space until the blue dawn, recalling how he had knelt and begged, checking his bank balance, and calculating the money.

When breathing became uncomfortable, as if something were caught in his throat, he silently turned over. Only after seeing his mother’s face faintly visible in the light coming through the window could he barely swallow what was stuck in his throat.

The next day, Heewoon left early, his mind foggy and without thinking. Still, he realized what he was doing when he passed the bus stop and stopped.

He came out without eating, since he was short on time. I should go home and eat.

“…”