Formless Chapter 29

“Ah… Yes, understood.”

The professor marked something on the attendance sheet. Heewoon lowered his head and fixed his gaze on the book again. He flinched briefly when Gangwoo raised his hand slightly while answering, but Heewoon didn’t lift his head.

“Today is Group 9’s presentation, right? Come out and start.”

The presenter walked out, and the PPT screen appeared on the projector. And soon the lights were turned off. Heewoon was staring blankly at the presenter, who clearly looked nervous, when Seo Gangwoo wrote something on the corner of Heewoon’s book.

The nicely shaped hand moved away slightly after finishing the writing.

‘I don’t like playing hard to get.’

The handwriting was neat.

“…”

Heewoon’s mouth opened towards Gangwoo’s face. Not knowing what to say, he just nodded.

Gangwoo reached out his hand again and wrote something else with the ballpoint pen.

‘Did you sleep well?’

He was about to nod, but afraid that Seo Gangwoo would keep doing this, Heewoon wrote briefly right underneath it.

‘Yes.’

Then, Gangwoo smiled slightly and put the pen down. Judging by the fact that he was looking straight ahead, he probably wouldn’t doodle anymore.

Heewoon stared intently at the three sentences written in the corner.

‘I don’t like playing hard to get.’

‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes.’

He was glad that he wouldn’t be able to resell the book anyway, as it was already messy with notes when he acquired it.

🧸

Walking alongside Seo Gangwoo in the hallway, Heewoon felt glances being cast their way. So Heewoon walked a little faster than Gangwoo.

“Before, you used to follow me and stare.”

Gangwoo said, catching up to Heewoon effortlessly.

“Huh?”

“I’ve been thinking, I think sunbae is playing hard to get with me lately.”

“…”

“Playing hard to get” was not the phrase to use in this situation. Seo Gangwoo looked down at Heewoon’s face, which probably had a strange expression, and asked casually,

“Is it because you think I’ll get tired of you since we slept together?”

Heewoon was startled and looked around. Fortunately, the hallway was sparsely populated since they had moved away from the classroom. Gangwoo’s gaze was fixed only on Heewoon’s face, as if he didn’t care about their surroundings at all.

“No. It’s not like that….”

Seeing Heewoon’s face unable to hide his embarrassment, Gangwoo said quietly,

“Lately, when sunbae looks away and acts coy, I have thoughts like this.”

Heewoon glanced at the lockers at the end of the hallway. Gangwoo’s words continued softly and slowly.

“Should I grab him by the hair and slap his cheek a few times? Then he would cry and cling to me, begging me not to hit him. Taking him to the restroom and making him suck my dick wouldn’t be bad either. How hot would his face be, trying his best to suck so he doesn’t get hit?”

“…”

Well, thoughts like these.

Heewoon, whose expression hardened, looked up at Gangwoo. When their eyes met, Gangwoo smiled faintly. Heewoon gasped for breath and then spoke.

“…I won’t play hard to get.”

“I don’t know why such a word even exists.”

Gangwoo nodded and spoke as if seeking agreement.

“Uh-huh.”

Heewoon awkwardly agreed.

He arrived at his locker and opened it. He put his books inside, glancing at Gangwoo the whole time, afraid that Seo Gangwoo might actually do what he had just talked about. The stacked snacks made a rustling sound again.

“What is that?”

“Huh?”

Tense, Heewoon asked, startled unnecessarily.

Gangwoo tilted his head slightly and peered inside Heewoon’s locker. Inside the small locker, books were standing up, and in front of them, several capped drinks, chips, and chocolate bars were piled up.

Feeling Gangwoo’s gaze, Heewoon busied himself arranging the snacks. Just then, a large hand with bulging veins suddenly appeared next to his pale, white hand.

Crackle. Gangwoo held a small chocolate bar in his hand. Heewoon watched his hand out of the corner of his eye. Gangwoo, who unwrapped the chocolate, made a low sound.

“Ah.”

He pushed the chocolate into Heewoon’s mouth. Heewoon looked up at Gangwoo in surprise, but the lowered eyes were staring intently at him, so Heewoon accepted the chocolate. Watching Heewoon close his mouth and chew, Gangwoo muttered under his breath,

“You’re not a squirrel.”

“…”

“Are you stocking up before winter comes?”

A faint hint of amusement was embedded in the seemingly indifferent voice. The sweet and bitter chocolate taste lingered in his mouth. After swallowing the chocolate, Heewoon stammered his reply.

“I was worried you’d be bothered if I got too many texts…”

Then, his courage vanished, and he closed the locker, avoiding eye contact. Then, realizing his mistake, he looked up at Gangwoo again. Gangwoo smiled and poked Heewoon’s cheek.

“I’m not bothered at all.”

“…”

“It’s so amusing to think about you buying stuff like this.”

Gangwoo fiddled with the chocolate wrapper in his hand. Looking down at the wrapper, Gangwoo chuckled lightly. Heewoon looked at Gangwoo’s face, which was half a span above his own.

“So, use it often, and spend a lot.”

“…”

Seo Gangwoo’s words were difficult. Heewoon didn’t know how much of it was genuine. He didn’t understand what was so amusing about him buying chocolate.

“You have a dumb expression.”

Gangwoo smiled slightly and started walking first. As Heewoon followed him, Gangwoo spoke as if to himself.

“I don’t even text you first, so something like that has to pop up for me to think about sunbae.”

“…”

Gangwoo glanced at Heewoon, whose lips were parted, and said,

“Just answer ‘Yes,’ okay?”

“Yes.”

When Heewoon nodded and answered, Gangwoo let out a small laugh.

“Are you going straight home after class?”

Seo Gangwoo asked as they left the building and walked toward the parking lot. It seemed he wasn’t planning to call him this evening.

“No. I plan to stay at the library before going.”

He told his mother that he tutored on Mondays and Wednesdays. So, he had to be out until about 10 p.m., and he thought studying at the school library before leaving would work.

But Seo Gangwoo stared intently at him, then reached out his hand. Heewoon, who was frightened by what he had heard earlier, flinched and drew in his neck.

“It’s not even exam period.”

The hand he thought might slap his cheek gently stroked his head instead.

The sky visible above Seo Gangwoo’s head was unusually blue. It was ironic that his gently smiling face was the same as when Heewoon had liked him.

“Go out and have fun sometimes.”

“Yes.”

“Where are you going?”

“Huh?”

Heewoon, who had been simply answering “Yes” to everything Gangwoo said, asked back. Heewoon blinked a few times and said blankly,

“Where should I go?”

Then Gangwoo burst out laughing. He ruffled Heewoon’s hair, made a humming sound in his throat, and said,

“Watching a movie would be nice, or reading a book at a café wouldn’t be bad either…. Do whatever sunbae likes.”

“Yes.”

The hand on his head lightly ruffled his hair and moved away.

🧸

Heewoon finished his class, grabbed a drink from his locker, and went to the library. He reviewed the parts he hadn’t understood well and printed out the newly uploaded lecture materials, reading them carefully. When he finished everything and checked the time, it was around 6 p.m. Only two hours had passed, even though he had gone slowly.

Heewoon picked up his flipped-over cell phone and went onto social media. The first thing he saw was a photo from a classmate who was traveling the world. He was quite close with him in freshman and sophomore years, and now he seemed to be blogging while traveling. The comments on the photo were full of expressions of envy.

He pressed ‘Like’ and scrolled down. Since only a few minutes had passed even after seeing all the new posts, he looked at the pictures more carefully. Is this Australia? The koala is cute.

Heewoon suddenly thought that it had been a very long time since he had spent time idly like this. He always managed his time meticulously, valuing every hour, every minute.

He was starting to get hungry, so he gathered his books and stood up.

It was already dark outside. It really seemed like winter was coming.

Winter….

Everything was winter. His mother’s cancer diagnosis, his father’s death. The Han River must have been cold enough to sting his skin back then.

And, it was winter when they sold their apartment due to debt and moved to their current home. His hands, which carried more things to throw away than to keep, were extremely cold even with gloves on.

Several winters were unusually cold like that. So Heewoon was afraid of winter returning.

Heewoon put his slightly chilled hands in his pockets and walked slowly. Since he was trying to kill time, all his actions became very unhurried.

He arrived at the school cafeteria and stood in front of the machine to buy a meal ticket. Since the exam period was over, there weren’t many people in the evening. He hesitated over the menu and then pressed the set meal option. When there wasn’t a menu item he particularly craved, he usually just had the set meal.

Then, he reached for his card to pay and paused.

Heewoon looked at his wristwatch and then at the screen again. The stopwatch on the meal ticket machine kept counting down, as if urging him to pay.

21 seconds, 20 seconds, 19 seconds….

Heewoon pressed the cancel payment button and turned around. He was going to watch a movie.

He thought for a bit while walking. Did he need to ask Seo Gangwoo for permission? He was told to ask for permission when going somewhere other than home or school. The movie theater, which was about a 15-minute walk from the main gate, was definitely near school by his standards. But he was confused whether it was considered near school by Seo Gangwoo’s standards as well.

Heewoon, who had just passed the main gate, stopped abruptly. He was afraid that if he used the card, Seo Gangwoo would find out anyway and ask where he used the card and why he hadn’t asked for permission. And there was definitely someone monitoring him. He didn’t know if it was every day or not.

In any case, there seemed to be no harm in being cautious beforehand. Anything was better than breaking a leg, wasn’t it?

So, he took out his cell phone.

It was his first time calling, so he took a few deep breaths. Recently, Seo Gangwoo was listed more often than his mother in the call history. His hesitant finger finally pressed the call button.

His heart thumped so loudly it felt like it would burst as the call rang. What if he gets mad and asks why I’m calling when he’s working? He was thinking it would be better to just hang up when the ringing stopped and a voice answered.

—…Sunbae?

The tone suggested he was surprised by the call. Heewoon swallowed dryly and said,

“Hello….”

—Yes. I’m listening.

“Um… Gangwoo, I…”