Salt Society Chapter 56

I just smiled at those words. Instead of saying that I would be the one giving birth to the child, that I had no intention of getting married, and that I would likely never welcome a wife.

It was 4:30 PM by the time I finished up my business and arrived at the hospital in Seoul. I was exactly 5 minutes late for my appointment, which made me anxious.

Today was the appointment for the OB-GYN, and tomorrow was the appointment for the pheromone internal medicine clinic. At the hospital, they reconfirmed the pregnancy with words similar to what I had heard in the emergency room.

Stroking his stomach, which felt cold from the application of the ultrasound gel, Kihyun took the ultrasound photo he received at the reception desk and went down to the parking lot.

“…It is really small.”

He stared blankly at the photo for a while before burying his forehead against the steering wheel. Only then did a sigh burst out. He found himself wondering what on earth he was doing.

He wondered if he was doing the right thing. He had made a swift decision because there was no other path, but it was true that his heart was heavy. He agonized over what he should say to his father.

His father, who was both stubborn and conservative, had feigned ignorance of the fact that Kihyun had been discharged from the military after his ankle was shattered due to something akin to bullying. It was a desperate denial that his son could never be that weak. Kihyun, who had deceived himself into thinking that denial was paternal love, let go of even that thread of hope a short while later.

This was because becoming a disappointment of a son to his father had gradually become a matter of no consequence. …Why did I live giving up on everything like that back then?

Though he had never cherished it, his heart, which had been pure in its own way, was left tattered throughout his relationship with Cho Yeonoh. Feeling gloomy for no reason was unlike him. Nowadays his desires had faded, but back then, he would get half an erection just by Cho Yeonoh coming over to sit beside him and starting a conversation. It was pathetic and even disgusting to be greedy all by himself when the other person had no such intentions.

When he injured his ankle, Kihyun’s depression reached its peak. Because he didn’t know what kind of words would come out of Cho Yeonoh’s mouth if he found out, he practically begged Bumhee to help him hide the truth. His feeling at the time was that even if everyone else knew, he wanted Cho Yeonoh to remain in the dark.

Of course, someone in Cho Yeonoh’s position would have been able to clearly find out the reason why Kihyun’s ankle was injured. However, because Lee Bumhee, the attending physician, had diagnosed that the ankle bone and ligaments were damaged from a slip and fall, the guy believed it without suspicion.

If she had said there were signs of assault, he was the kind of guy who would have flipped everything upside down, from the brigadier generals down to the staff sergeants, to hunt down those involved. Cho Yeonoh was the type of guy who would do at least that much for So Kihyun.

However, Kihyun did not want that. He wanted the only person in the world, Cho Yeonoh, not to know that what happened to him wasn’t just because So Kihyun himself was inadequate, but because the fact that he was dating an alpha while in a beta male’s body had become known.

Perhaps because he used all his energy hiding that, every relationship from then on was desultory. This included the relationship between father and son, which had been creaking all along, as well as his relationship with the guy he had tried so hard to protect. It felt like an inflammation had spread, and he had missed the window to cut it out.

Even though the affected area was festering severely, he neglected the rot without knowing how to ventilate it. So Kihyun abandoned So Kihyun. He just foolishly held on in that state.

So, even if it hurts piercingly now that the rotten part has been completely cut out, it might be bearable. It was even pleasing to know that he was standing at the entrance to recovery.

And it felt like that entrance would be thrown wide open by a single ultrasound photo. Kihyun was certain. He would become a good father. Although he had no choice but to let the child know only one parent, he vowed to raise them without lack.

He started the engine again. There was a lot to do. He could have hugged the steering wheel and felt gloomy about his lot in life, but he wanted to give something better to the child who was still just a speck.

Because Kihyun needed an existence he could love.

On the way back from the hospital, he suddenly felt an intense craving for something. It was completely different from this morning when he felt nauseous from the smell of raw water as soon as he turned on the tap while washing his face. The kalguksu he ate for lunch had also gone down surprisingly well, and now that it was evening, it was hard to suppress his appetite at all.

Kihyun muttered to himself while holding the steering wheel and waiting for the signal to start at a traffic light.

“I want to eat samgyetang.”

As soon as he uttered those words, they became an intense desire that overwhelmed Kihyun. There was no samgyetang restaurant near his house, so he had to go all the way to the shop where Cho Yeonoh used to frequently buy takeout.

“Could you please give me a lot of the seasoned garlic?”

He even made a request he had never made in his life. It was because he thought of the sourly seasoned pickled garlic. The restaurant employee nodded, saying she could give him as much as he wanted.

“Which samgyetang shall I get for you? Here is one good for women’s skin, here is one good for men’s vitality, and this is the one pregnant women eat to nourish their bodies.”

To Kihyun, who ordered as soon as he entered the shop saying, Give me samgyetang, an employee showed the menu and explained in more detail.

Responding to her kindness with a faint smile, Kihyun read the menu thoroughly. It seemed the medicinal herbs included in the samgyetang were different, so the menu compositions varied.

“By any chance… among the medicinal herbs in the samgyetang for pregnant women, there aren’t any that shouldn’t be eaten, right? I am asking because I don’t know much.”

“Oh my, you’re the baby’s father. Of course. Far from being bad, it only contains good things! You have no idea how much pregnant ladies love our samgyetang.”

At those words, Kihyun immediately replied that he would take two to go. With a word telling him to sit for a moment, the employee called out the menu name and quantity toward the kitchen.

“The wife is so lucky to have such a handsome man buy her samgyetang. You’re tall and really good-looking.”

Kihyun just smiled slightly. He couldn’t say that he was going to eat it all by himself without giving any to anyone else. Since they packed it semi-cooked, saying it’s better to boil and eat it at home, the food came out quickly. As soon as he paid and got into the car, he headed straight home.

He wondered if there had ever been a time in his life when he took care of his meals so diligently. Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner was a rare occurrence that only happened when Cho Yeonoh was stuck to Kihyun’s side on holidays, so it was fascinating. Thinking that it was true what they say about a man only maturing once he has a child, he parked the car in the apartment complex’s surface parking lot, gathered his things, and opened the car door.

As he walked toward the common entrance, a white light touched his feet. He had reflexively turned his head because there was a sedan with its headlights turned on facing this way. Manager Yoo was standing there.

“…Mr. So.”

“… .”

Manager Yoo called him with a troubled look. Kihyun stood still and did not answer. Looking at the license plate of the sedan, it was Cho Yeonoh’s. There was no way Manager Yoo had come alone. Although Manager Yoo was the only person standing outside, Cho Yeonoh would be sitting inside the dark car. Kihyun stared blankly at the dark window of the sedan’s back seat.

Because he had been thinking only about going home quickly to boil and eat the samgyetang, a slight irritation rose.

“…Have you come to pick up the belongings?”

He was also flustered because he didn’t expect the response to his previous request to come in this manner. At Kihyun’s words, Manager Yoo slowly nodded his head.

Kihyun let out a sigh and said dismissively for him to come in. Even while pressing the numbers at the common entrance, it felt as though only Manager Yoo was standing behind Kihyun’s back. Even until the automatic door opened with a whirring sound after he pressed the password.

However, when he turned his head unconsciously, someone was standing next to the sedan. Because the headlights were shining from behind him, he couldn’t confirm who it was by looking at the face, but the tall height and broad shoulders allowed him to guess it was Cho Yeonoh.

“… .”

“… .”

Even though the other person’s expression was clearly submerged in darkness and unreadable, Kihyun couldn’t shake the feeling that he had locked eyes with the guy. Cho Yeonoh reached for his chest just as he was. It seemed he was looking for a cigarette. It was the same last time, and the way he reached for a cigarette the moment their eyes met was unpleasant.

Kihyun said nothing and simply turned his gaze away and went inside. There was the sound of Manager Yoo following quietly. Fortunately, since he had just finished organizing the belongings, he only had to take the guy’s clothes out.

Kihyun, who had Manager Yoo stand in the foyer for a moment, went inside the house and brought out two large suitcases. He had wanted to just let him carry the expensive suits out, but now he didn’t even want to let Manager Yoo come inside.

Manager Yoo seemed somewhat surprised by Kihyun’s attitude, but he said nothing. Kihyun, who handed him the suitcases, stood at the foyer and said.

“Call someone and tell them to take the goldfish. I can’t raise them anymore.”

He felt sorry for the goldfish he had grown fond of, but an existence he had to cherish more had appeared. Manager Yoo seemed flustered by Kihyun’s firm words.

“…Mr. So.”

“The roads are dark, so drive carefully, and I would like you to leave now.”

With those words, he closed the door. Manager Yoo was not at fault, but he generally didn’t want to see anyone associated with the guy. Kihyun let out a sigh and went into the house.

In the end, he skipped dinner that day. Because even So Kihyun had his hard days.

Having skipped dinner like that, he was lounging on the sofa after just finishing a shower when a contact came from Cheoljin. Staring intensely at the phone screen and debating whether or not to ignore it, Kihyun let out a sigh. Thinking it would be better for him to be bothered than to make the player Cheoljin worry and fail to manage his condition, he answered the phone.