The Unbelievers Chapter 20

Eunseong was pleading with someone unknown. He frowned deeply and shook his head. Yoo Siun sat by the bedside, and though he could not bring himself to touch Eunseong, he muttered several times in a small voice that it was okay. As if the message were not getting through, Eunseong’s struggling and groaning grew even more intense. He had no choice but to reach out. He lightly touched the cheek that felt warm with body heat.

“Ugh, ugh, ah.”

Nevertheless, Eunseong did not calm down easily, so eventually, he ended up touching him fully. He caressed the cheek, brushed back the disheveled hair to reveal the cool forehead, and comforted Eunseong by patting his head with an awkward hand. He felt terribly sorry for Eunseong, who was suffering through such a weary dream.

“Shh… shh… It is okay. It is safe here.”

“Ugh… mmm.”

“Shh… shh.”

As he comforted him with small sounds and gentle pats, Eunseong smoothed his furrowed face as if by magic and drifted into a heavy sleep. The sound of his labored breathing subsided, but the man’s hand continued to softly caress Eunseong’s cheek.

Eunseong, who had kicked off the blanket while turning over, felt the urge to urinate and opened his eyes. Waking up mid-sleep, Eunseong got out of bed with half-closed eyes. After returning from the bathroom and preparing to crawl back into the bed that still held his warm body heat, he noticed that for some reason, the comfortable room smelled of Yoo Siun. Eunseong looked around the empty space in wonder.

“Sigh.”

A pointless sigh escaped him. Recalling how boldly he had behaved the previous evening made him feel even more gloomy.

He lay back down in bed, but this time, sleep did not come easily. Eunseong tossed and turned for a long time. He felt as if sleep were coming, yet it didn’t, and as time passed, his mind only grew clearer.

The sound of rain reached him. Eunseong pressed the button attached to the side of the bed. The blackout curtains draped over the floor-to-ceiling window retracted automatically. The feast of blue grass and green so vivid it made the eyes sting was now swallowed by darkness, making everything so pitch black that it felt as if a crouching monster might leap out from somewhere.

Eunseong always closed the blackout curtains at night because he was afraid of the darkness outside. The clock on the wall was past three in the morning.

A drizzling rain fell in the garden. It was the start of the rainy season the man had mentioned. Still, the moonlight was fairly bright today. The falling raindrops sparkled faintly. Eunseong stared at the window where water shadows wavered.

What could that mean?

What on earth could the words “I will protect you from me” mean?

It was like a riddle.

The weather was such that the bedding should have been damp from humidity, but Eunseong’s room was dry. The sheets were crisp and crinkled against his bare skin. After staring blankly at the water droplets streaming down the window, Eunseong raised himself from the bed.

He put on the slippers he had left under the bed. He opened the door and stepped out of the room. The living room was submerged in silence. It was a house far too spacious for only two people to live in.

The workers only entered and exited at permitted times, so there was no one in the house except for Yoo Siun and himself.

Eunseong roamed the living room where the sound of rain felt desolate. Although Eunseong had experienced harsher things than others his age, he was still only nineteen, and he suddenly became afraid of this place.

It wasn’t an anxiety born from not knowing what might happen, but simply fear because the house was too big, there was no one there, and it was dark.

After hesitating, Eunseong stood before Yoo Siun’s room. He knocked, knock knock, and waited, but there was no response. It was a time when the man would surely be asleep. Eunseong opened the door cautiously.

A large space appeared, not much different in layout from Eunseong’s room. Before even taking a few steps inside, he realized the man was absent. There wasn’t even a trace of someone lying on the dark bed. Yoo Siun’s black jacket was draped over a long, neutral-colored sofa.

“…”

Just as he was about to turn away after confirming no one was there, Eunseong’s eyes caught a dim light spreading like a fine crack on one wall.

It was another door.

He slightly opened the door that stood ajar. It seemed to be his study. Inside, where the lights were on, he saw Yoo Siun, who hadn’t even changed his clothes. He was stretched out long on a recliner, fast asleep.

As if he had fallen asleep while reading, a book lay open upside down on his stomach. LP records, which seemed to be his hobby, and various types of books were packed tightly into the bookshelves. The man appeared to be a collector.

Eunseong’s eyes scanned the study with curiosity.

An astronomical telescope was placed right in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. A small window could be opened and closed to allow for comfortable observation of the night sky. A thick blanket was spread on the floor, suggesting he sat there often.

Behind that, two large machines that looked as if they could allow for dimensional travel stood facing each other; they were likely high-end speakers. Through the window, the rain was pouring down, making the glass opaque with moisture.

Eunseong entered carefully, treading softly so as not to wake him. The study was filled with Yoo Siun’s scent, a scent that usually forbade anyone from approaching within a two-meter radius. It was a heavy yet refreshing smell. For some reason, this scent had been in his own room earlier. It smelled like a new book, and also like the pine fragrance from the garden. Eunseong liked the smell of his 5th cousin. He liked it so much he wished that if he were to have a scent of his own, it would be this one.

The man was completely deep in sleep, breathing evenly. One arm hung down loosely toward the floor.

“Why protect me? From whom?”

“…From me.”

Although he had said he doubted the man, Eunseong’s 5th cousin seemed like a person who was either indifferent or not, but certainly didn’t seem like someone who would cause harm to a mere nineteen-year-old.

Just as he had said he graduated from a university in America, the book he had set down on his stomach was an original English book that Eunseong could never recognize. He could only roughly guess from the cover illustration that it was a book about future energy and industry.

He quietly looked down at the sleeping 5th cousin. Disheveled hair was covering his eyebrows. Perhaps because of that, the shadow of his high nose bridge was cast particularly clearly on one side of his face.

Eunseong had never seen such a handsome man in his life. The same went for television. He wondered if his father had been like this before being ruined by alcohol. Eunseong tried to recall his father’s face, but he was overwhelmed by the face of the 5th cousin right before him and ended up forgetting it.

He filled his lungs with the man’s scent, which felt strangely cozy. Just then, Yoo Siun shifted. The thick book lying on his stomach fell to the floor with a dull thud.

While Eunseong flinched in surprise, the man woke up at the noise of the book falling. Yoo Siun opened his eyes hazily, and upon discovering Eunseong standing beside him, he sat up in a panic. Startled, he stood up so abruptly that he tumbled down toward the recliner with a thud.

“…Are you okay?”

“H-how did you get in here?”

“I heard a strange noise outside. I was scared, so I came to wake you, Mister…”

Because the man had been so startled that he even fell to the floor, Eunseong reflexively told a lie, fearing he might get in trouble.

Yoo Siun stood up hurriedly. It didn’t look like he was startled because a person had unexpectedly appeared in his private space where no one should be, but rather as if he was startled because Eunseong was within the radius he guarded.

The speed at which he retreated to keep a distance from Eunseong was so fast it was offensive. Unlike his initial panic, Eunseong’s feelings were soon hurt by his reaction. He glared at the man sulkily. The man, who had retreated all the way to the bookshelf, looked at Eunseong as if he were a carrier of a contagious disease and asked.

“A noise? What noise?”

“I don’t know. There was some noise. You go check it yourself, Mister.”

No matter how much it was due to mysophobia, this was too much. He was treating a person like a germ. Eunseong told him to do as he pleased, whether he checked it or not, and turned away sharply. He intentionally stomped his feet as he returned to his room and slammed the door shut with a bang. He plopped down on the bed and scowled, glaring at the ceiling.

“What on earth? When he was staring at me earlier, talking about how aesthetics are above ethics. Talking about Oscar Wilde and all that. He really makes a person feel rotten. He doesn’t even hate it that much when he’s with the helper or Manager Nam, so why only with me…”

The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

“…Does he think I’m dirty because he saw the house I used to live in? What, he lives in a nice place and that’s it? If you think about it, shouldn’t I have been living like that too?”

If that was the case, Eunseong felt it was unfair. It was his father who had lived filthily, not Eunseong. Rather, he had cared about cleanliness to the point of being scolded by his father. He was even more obsessed with hygiene because his mother wasn’t there. Eunseong had to keep himself clean and neat so that he wouldn’t hear people say he was a child without a mother.

Choi Jungeon, who was in a different class, would appear every break and lunch hour, subtly trapping Eunseong in his arms and burying his nose in Eunseong’s neck, saying he smelled good, and would spout nonsense about how he, a guy who didn’t even wash well, should use the same body wash as Eunseong.

Everyone considered Eunseong neat, and they even said he smelled good.

Recalling Yoo Siun rolling off the recliner again made him feel even worse. He was lying on the bed with his lips pouting when a knock was heard.