Winter Season Chapter 39

Perhaps it was because he had been out in the cold wind for so long, but his body was shivering. The fact that he was thinking of alcohol was surely because the weather was too cold to remain sober.

Yihyeon threw the shortened cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it with his foot. If looking at him mixed in among ordinary people was so distasteful, then it was only right to disappear as they said.

Whether it was a coincidence or fate, there was a bar nearby that he used to frequent in his early twenties.

He hadn’t set foot there for a while, but the fact that he suddenly thought of it might really be, as people said, because Satan had tempted him. Yihyeon let out a series of hollow laughs and began to walk with staggering steps.

The entrance to the bar leading to the basement was not much different from before. The glass door opened easily, making his worry that it might be closed since it was early feel unnecessary.

Yihyeon didn’t even look around; he went straight to the bar table and took a seat in the corner. As he passed through the slightly dark hall, he felt curious gazes flying toward him.

As he sat still looking down at the wooden pattern of the table, the bartender held out a menu along with a coaster. Yihyeon named a whiskey without even looking at the menu.

“Would you like it on the rocks?”

“Give it to me in a shot.”

His stomach wasn’t good because he hadn’t eaten properly all day, but at this moment, it was difficult to endure while sober. Intending to forget everything and get drunk, he downed the small glass in one go, and it felt as if his throat was burning up.

“One more of the same, please.”

Yihyeon lifted the small glass filled with golden whiskey again. He closed his eyes tight and gulped down the whiskey, not even knowing what it tasted like, and finally, the burning sensation in the corners of his eyes moved down below his throat. Putting the glass down, Yihyeon placed both arms on the table and rested his head on them.

“…”

As he lay prostrate on the table sipping the drink, the intoxication rose quickly. He wished it was only his stomach heating up, but the bridge of his nose kept stinging.

The bartender, who had been glancing at Yihyeon and watching over him, held out a small plate containing cheese and fruit with a worried look. Yihyeon gave a bow and then pressed his forehead against the table. And just like that, he kept blinking his eyes.

Looking at the wood patterns that were mixed dizzily in his close-up vision, his eyes grew hot for no reason. What had he done so wrong to be treated like this? Once he started to recognize it, sorrow welled up.

His shoulders trembled slightly as he tried to hold back tears. Just then, he suddenly felt someone sit in the seat next to him.

Yihyeon closed his eyes tight, steadied his breath, then raised his head and tilted it to the side. Since he was a master at deceiving himself into thinking nothing was wrong, his face revealed under the yellow lights was not much different from usual, except for his eyes being a little red. Yihyeon’s gaze turned toward the side.

“Wow, to see you in a place like this. At this point, isn’t it our fate?”

“…”

“I put a business card in your pocket so you’d call. Did you not see it?”

The man who pulled his chair in and settled into the seat was the very man who, just yesterday, had drugged the water and harassed Yihyeon. Encountering a shitty person in a shitty situation made him feel bewildered rather than angry. It felt as if life was not on his side to the very end.

Yihyeon ignored the man in the next seat and called the bartender to order another glass of what he was drinking.

“You’ve had a lot, will you be alright, sir?”

“…I’m fine with this much. Just give it to me.”

Hearing the clear pronunciation that wasn’t slurred, only slightly heavy, the bartender also seemed relieved. Because Yihyeon knew what an annoying task it was to deal with a completely wasted customer, he had no intention of drinking to that point of intoxication.

It only needed to be enough to forget the sorrow coiled in his gut. Yihyeon gulped down the glass placed before him without a break.

“Wow, you can really drink. Drink some water here too and drink slowly. You didn’t even seem to know I was watching you from a while ago.”

“I don’t drink anything you give me.”

“Aw, why be like that? Yesterday was a mistake. I was a bit drunk too. You got home okay, right? I didn’t know you’d suddenly call the police either.”

As if apologizing, the man slowly stroked the back of Yihyeon’s hand. Yihyeon found the man’s touch unpleasant but stayed still without shaking him off. It was because he felt it was too late to be picky; for a filthy gay bastard like himself, it wasn’t like he’d wear out from being touched anyway.

“It’s strange that you’re trying to sleep with a man when you aren’t even gay, isn’t it?”

“Not really. It’s just that the hole you put it in while having sex is different. Is being gay or not really that important?”

“…”

“Then just consider me a gay too. Ah. In this case, is it not gay but bi or something like that?”

The man leaned his body in and whispered suggestively.

“I’m sorry for acting without manners yesterday too, hyung. In that sense, come out with me today.”

He found the man fascinating yet enviable for brushing off so nonchalantly a fact that even the parents he had lived with for twenty-odd years could not accept. Turning his head and raising his eyes, there was the man looking at him with a gaze steeped in desire. Overlapping that, the image of his father’s eyes looking at him coldly appeared.

Suddenly feeling as if insects were crawling over his skin, Yihyeon reflexively scratched over his clothes with his fingernails.

He was ignoring the man who kept whispering sweetly in his ear and was just fiddling with the glass when he saw a manager in a suit hurriedly emerging from the inner part of the bar.

At the spot where his gaze drifted without thought, someone was standing, receiving a ninety-degree bow. Yihyeon stared fixedly at the standing man with eyes slightly blurred by the alcohol.

“…”

As if sensing the gaze, the man turned his head toward Yihyeon. The characteristic expressionless mouth and the cold eyes came into view.

The moment their eyes met, a sense of failure rushed over him. As Yihyeon reflexively bit his lower lip, the well-defined eyebrows seemed to narrow before the shapely lips twisted.

“Every time I see you, your partner has changed.”

“…”

“Is that a characteristic of you homo bastards? Or are you just loose?”

Gu Seunghyeok, dressed in a black blazer, looked like someone who had dropped by for a moment. His tension at the sudden encounter lasted only a second; seeing Gu Seunghyeok showing a consistent reaction that didn’t stray from expectations, for some reason, Yihyeon let out a smirk today.

At least he didn’t act hypocritical in front of him, nor did he bring up cliché talk about how homosexuality and sin were this and that.

But separate from that.

“…Isn’t that none of your business?”

“…”

“How did you get here? Are you monitoring me?”

Words that hadn’t passed through his brain leaked out from between lips opened slightly slowly due to the alcohol. At Yihyeon’s words, Seunghyeok let out a hollow laugh in disbelief.

“You’ve gotten drunk quite nicely.”

After looking down at Yihyeon and the man sitting next to him with an insensitive gaze, Seunghyeok turned his head to speak to the person inside the bar.

“What happened to the thing I gave you last time?”

“Yes, I’ve distributed it all. Hyung-nim.”

The man, who seemed extremely tense, was heard whispering softly to Seunghyeok. Seunghyeok took a piece of paper that looked like a small sticker out of his inner pocket and handed it to the man.

“Check the recipient properly when sending the letter. Don’t blow things out of proportion unnecessarily like last time.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Yihyeon had seen a similar sight while working at Nexus. Though he wasn’t told the details, he could tell that the thing that looked like thin paper was a type of drug. Ah… he came here to do work.

Having finished his business, Seunghyeok locked eyes with Yihyeon, who was still looking at him, and spoke with a languid smile.

“Yihyeon. Monitoring is something you do when the opponent is worth the effort.”

“…”

“I already know you go around playing with your hips loose, so why would I bother with that?”

It was a mockery no different from usual, but today it felt like it was gouging into his chest painfully. As Yihyeon let out a mindless laugh while lowering his eyes, Seunghyeok’s eyebrow quirked, sensing something was off.

The insects that had been traveling over his skin began to move even more violently. Yihyeon, who downed the glass placed before him without a word, scratched down his left wrist aggressively. Unable to watch that any longer, the man in the next seat snatched Yihyeon’s hand.

“Why do you keep scratching there…”

However, the man failed to finish the sentence and only parted his lips. It was because the exposed left wrist was a mess. Beneath the skin that had swollen red from the scratching, there were white, straight scars that looked old.

Clack.