Place to Be Chapter 37

It’s good to be able to rest comfortably for a change, but still, now isn’t the time to be resting… Seo Chiyoung lets out a quiet sigh as he thinks about the balance in his bank account. He should see if there are any lifestyle information newspapers on his way home and take one.

It was just as he had finished flipping the chairs upside down onto the tables and was about to start sweeping, listening to the sound of fairly thick rain pouring down. A foreign sound rang out inside the shop, mingling with the sound of the rain.

It was a cell phone ringtone that didn’t belong to Seo Chiyoung. It seemed a customer had left it behind. That happened from time to time.

Stopping his sweeping and turning his head toward the sound, Seo Chiyoung discovered the phone placed inconspicuously next to the seasoning jars on the counter and muttered, “Oh.” He recognized the plain black phone, which didn’t even have a strap attached. It was Yoon Junyoung’s phone.

By the time Seo Chiyoung went to retrieve it, the ringing had stopped and no more calls came in. Thinking he should return it when the man stopped by later, Seo Chiyoung put the phone in his pocket. Normally he would have kept it in the shop, but since the shop wouldn’t open again until Monday lunch once he closed today, he had to take all valuables home with him.

…But for Yoon Junyoung, who almost never made mistakes, to leave his belongings behind was a rare occurrence.

Seo Chiyoung thought that since he hadn’t looked well earlier, he must have been quite sick after all.

Lately, Yoon Junyoung’s complexion had been poor the entire time. Day by day his face had grown gaunt, as if he couldn’t eat or sleep well. On top of that, he had even mentioned having a fever and a cold today; he looked to be in bad shape just by looking at him.

Then again, there must have been another reason. There was no way only Seo Chiyoung remembered that the date printed on the wedding invitation he had seen previously was tomorrow—today, to be precise.

Perhaps that was why even Jang Wigeon, who sat beside the mostly silent Yoon Junyoung and spoke in his usual tone, was subtly less talkative today.

“It’s been almost twenty years since middle school, since you, me, and that guy all started hanging out together…. Time really flies. I thought only elderly people said things like that.”

As Jang Wigeon said that with a smirk, Yoon Junyoung nodded after a brief pause. “Twenty years…” Yoon Junyoung murmured, his mouth twisting bitterly in a way that could have been a smile or not.

“It’s been a long time…. Too long.”

Jang Wigeon stole a glance at Yoon Junyoung, who was muttering to himself as if lost in thought. However, he tilted his beer glass without any further words beyond that.

Twenty years. Seo Chiyoung tried to imagine that long span of time.

What kind of feeling was it to have a one-sided heart that continued for a duration long enough to make one sigh?

Occupied by such thoughts, he turned his gaze toward Jang Wigeon.

Looking at him as he hid a bitter smile beside Yoon Junyoung, he thought of the heart that must have been kept inside, unable to speak because he knew better than anyone that it would never be reciprocated during that long time, occasionally letting out a word or two as if they were jokes under the guise of humor.

Reflecting on the state of mind of having to treat one’s own sincerity like a joke, Seo Chiyoung’s heart felt heavy for some reason, and he ended up dropping his gaze from Jang Wigeon.

“…Aren’t you going? Kanghee said you had to come.”

Jang Wigeon, who had been hesitating for a moment, asked Yoon Junyoung. Seo Chiyoung kept his mouth shut. Since Kwon Kanghee had called and said such things when Jang Wigeon visited the shop alone a while ago, Seo Chiyoung also vaguely knew about it. He heard that Kwon Kanghee said Yoon Junyoung must come, and if he didn’t, he would even go pick him up in his car in the morning. At that time, after Jang Wigeon hung up the phone, he had only tilted his glass for a while without saying anything.

Yoon Junyoung remained silent before murmuring, “I don’t know…”

“It’s not necessarily because it’s that guy’s wedding, but I don’t think I’ll be able to move tomorrow. I really don’t feel well.”

Yoon Junyoung, who was quietly wiping his forehead, sat there as if nothing was wrong, but he had swallowed some antipyretic painkillers earlier as if he were indeed in pain as he said. When Seo Chiyoung asked, he answered calmly, “It’s because of stress,” but even so, seeing him let out silent sighs as if his body were weary, he did look unwell.

It would be better to go home and rest quickly, yet Yoon Junyoung had hardly opened his mouth since a while ago, except for answering Jang Wigeon’s words, as if he were lost in thought.

Seo Chiyoung quietly stood up, took out a clean wet towel, and handed it to Yoon Junyoung. Yoon Junyoung, who had been staring blankly toward the main road, looked up at Seo Chiyoung, replied briefly with a “Thank you,” and obediently took the towel and placed it on his forehead. Even though he didn’t keep the towel there for very long, it was steaming hot when he took it down. Seo Chiyoung silently soaked the towel in cold water again and brought it over.

Yoon Junyoung closed his eyes with the towel against his forehead. He had been silent for so long that one might have wondered if he had fallen asleep, but he suddenly spoke just as Jang Wigeon had finished the bottle.

“When he gets married, it’s really the end.”

“…Why. There’s a saying that just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean a goal won’t go in.”

As Jang Wigeon made a comment that was hard to tell if it was a joke or serious while smiling bitterly, a quiet sigh seeped into the wet towel Yoon Junyoung was holding to his face. Along with a self-muttering of, “It was too long.”

“It’s strange. I feel like it wouldn’t be strange if I went crazy like this because it’s so hard, but at the same time, I also think he should just hurry up and get married. It’s finally ending; I even feel a sense of relief…. Even though I feel like I’m going to die from the pain.”

Jang Wigeon just looked at Yoon Junyoung in silence. Seo Chiyoung unintentionally clenched his hands that were resting on his knees.

He had liked Yoon Junyoung for more than twenty years. Seo Chiyoung couldn’t even fathom the weight of that time. Even if he had liked someone for over ten years, how many years would the time he actually spent encountering that person and thinking of them amount to? It was like this with just those few years, let alone ten-some years, twenty-some years.

It was only natural that they weren’t comparable. Seo Chiyoung gave a hollow laugh. Then, suddenly, he found himself muttering.

“But… wouldn’t it be different whether it ends by my own will or by the will of others?”

Just as a heart that had been buried and asleep within a situation raised its head again even after ten-some years.

However, as soon as he said those words, Seo Chiyoung fell silent. It was because Yoon Junyoung was staring at him. Eyes that didn’t know what they were thinking didn’t even blink for a long time.

“My own will,” it was just as a bitter word escaped Yoon Junyoung’s lips. The phone ringtone sounded from Yoon Junyoung’s pocket. Yoon Junyoung’s face stiffened instantly as he stopped speaking and took out the phone to check the screen. So much so that one could guess who the caller was just by looking at that expression.

Yoon Junyoung stared at the screen for quite a long time while the phone rang, then finally opened the slide. “Hello,” the voice answering became slightly lower. In the quiet air where both Jang Wigeon and Seo Chiyoung were silent, the voice sounding like a faint mechanical noise flowed out from the phone.

{Tomorrow, are you coming?}

“…I don’t know. I think Wigeon is going.”

As Yoon Junyoung spoke, a brief silence passed within the phone.

{…Are you together? You meet often.}

“It’s probably just that it’s been infrequent because you were avoiding me.”

Yoon Junyoung’s neat lips twisted faintly. But soon, the reply came back, “I’m avoiding you?”

{I thought you were the one avoiding me. —Make sure to come tomorrow. If you don’t, I’ll bring you even if I have to send people.}

“Ha… do you want to ruin your own wedding that much?”

Yoon Junyoung seemed unable to speak for a moment and kept his mouth shut, but soon let out a hollow laugh. A tone as painful as poison permeates every word.

However, the person on the other end left only the words, {Tell Wigeon I’ll see him tomorrow too,} without replying to that remark, and hung up. Yoon Junyoung did not move for a while as he looked at the phone after slowly closing the slide.

How long had he been like that? Two glasses, three glasses; Yoon Junyoung, who had emptied his glass as if he couldn’t even hear Jang Wigeon’s voice advising him to stop drinking because he wasn’t well, stood up from his seat at some point.