Place to Be Chapter 38

‘I have to go see Kanghee. It seems like he really wants to get my wedding congratulations…. I should congratulate him at the wedding as he wishes, but I don’t think I can stand seeing him standing side by side with a woman at the wedding hall…. This is the end. It was too long.’

Yoon Junyoung seemed to be smiling for a moment. But because his face looked like he was crying at the same time, Seo Chiyoung couldn’t say anything to him as he walked straight out of the shop. Jang Wigeon was the same, only saying a single word.

A quiet silence flowed in the space left behind after Yoon Junyoung departed. In that silence, Jang Wigeon slowly and incessantly tilted his glass as if he wouldn’t get drunk no matter how much he drank, and Seo Chiyoung remained quietly in front of him, except for occasionally moving to attend to customers in the shop ordering drinks or food.

Eventually, Jang Wigeon laughed like a sigh.

‘It was long…. Yes. It was too long.’

Whom was he talking about? Yoon Junyoung. Or himself.

‘…Is it okay to let him go like that?’

When Seo Chiyoung asked quietly, Jang Wigeon turned his gaze toward him. His eyes smiled faintly.

‘Well… I suppose you could call it a feeling like, “It wouldn’t be strange to go crazy, but at the same time, I want him to just hurry up and get married.”‘

Laughing as he repeated the exact words Yoon Junyoung had said, he put down the glass he hadn’t let go of.

‘Twenty-some years—that really is a long time. It occupies most of my life since I came of age.’

‘…’

‘I don’t think that what I want will come true at this late stage. The time was too long to harbor such expectations. That’s right, Mr. Chiyoung said it before. “My given portion”—if there is such a thing, Junyoung isn’t my portion.’

“But Mr. Chiyoung,” Jang Wigeon laughed.

‘What you said was right. Whether it ends by one’s own will or by the will of others must be different…. But, I can’t give it up by my own will. Even though I clearly know he isn’t mine.’

Jang Wigeon’s voice was calm. Even while speaking about the weight of that long time, there was no trace of pain or struggle mixed in. However, that rather spoke to how long and difficult that time had been, so Seo Chiyoung remained silent.

All along. All through that long time. He looks at him. At him, who does not look back. Even while knowing.

Seo Chiyoung looked at Jang Wigeon without a word. The few years he had looked at him had continued for several times that long for this man. Even with just a few years, I like this man this much.

Then suddenly, Jang Wigeon, who was pouring liquor into his empty glass again, looked at Seo Chiyoung and smiled with his eyes.

‘Why are you making that face?’

‘…Because I can’t take your side, Mr. Wigeon…’

Jang Wigeon, his smile vanishing for a moment, looked puzzled.

‘O-oh, it’s nothing… it’s just that there’s nothing I can do…. If I had known it would be like this, I would have gone to a church or a temple…. But if I only pray at times like this, the One up there would probably hate it because I’d look too opportunistic.’

Seo Chiyoung muttered gloomily. Realizing anew that there is ultimately nothing one can do for another person.

In front of Seo Chiyoung, who fell silent dejectedly while looking down at his hands resting on his knees, Jang Wigeon stared at him as if he had lost his words for a moment.

Then, at some point, a burst of laughter suddenly broke out. Hearing that sound, which was lower and shorter than usual but clearly tinged with pleasantry, Seo Chiyoung blinked curiously and looked up at him.

‘Mr. Chiyoung. Mr. Chiyoung is…’

Jang Wigeon, who was about to say something like that, laughed again for a while. Even after the sound completely stopped, he looked at Seo Chiyoung with eyes that still held a faint smile and spoke quietly.

‘Sometimes when I see you, Mr. Chiyoung, I think you’re like a miracle in daily life. It’s not easy for someone who has lived such a hard life to be like this…’

Jang Wigeon, having said that, laughed again. This time, without a sound, only with his mouth. That smile was somehow warm, so Seo Chiyoung unintentionally found his gaze stolen by the curve of his lips.

He couldn’t know what “being like this” meant, but since it didn’t seem to have a harsh meaning, Seo Chiyoung slowly withdrew his gaze from his lips. He thinks that he hopes he keeps smiling like that.

Not long after, Jang Wigeon looked at the clock pointing to midnight, drained the rest of the liquor left in his glass, and stood up. Saying with a bit of a smile that he should get going to think about what to do tomorrow, he left after giving his regards for the holiday; only then did Seo Chiyoung suddenly feel a loss of energy and sat blankly in his chair for a while. If a remaining customer in the shop hadn’t called him, he might have sat there indefinitely.

“…”

Seo Chiyoung sighed. Yoon Junyoung’s phone, which he had put in his pocket, felt somehow very heavy. Seo Chiyoung idly toyed with the phone through his clothes. Right then, that phone began to ring again.

Startled, Seo Chiyoung pulled his hand away and hesitantly took the phone out of his pocket. While wondering what reason there could be for a call at this late hour, he looked at the screen, thinking that perhaps Yoon Junyoung had called because he didn’t know where his phone was.

But unexpectedly, the three-letter name printed on the screen was “Kwon Kanghee.”

“…”

Should I answer, or would it be better not to? Seo Chiyoung hesitated. Come to think of it, Yoon Junyoung had said he was going to meet Kwon Kanghee. Since quite a bit of time had already passed, it was more than enough time for him to have gone and returned.

While Seo Chiyoung was hesitating, the phone that had been ringing for a long time cut off, leaving only a missed call record.

The thought occurred to him that perhaps the call from a little while ago was also that man. This was because from then until Seo Chiyoung had finished cleaning the shop and was almost done preparing to close, the phone rang two more times. The caller was Kwon Kanghee. However, having not answered once, he didn’t feel like answering anew even after that, and simply stared at the phone as it accumulated multiple missed call records.

It was just then, when the ringtone for the fifth call had just stopped.

“My phone was here after all.”

From behind Seo Chiyoung, who was taking one last look around the shop before closing, came the presence of someone entering. Seo Chiyoung turned around happily at the familiar voice, but he was momentarily lost for words upon seeing Yoon Junyoung standing at the threshold of the shop.

Yoon Junyoung was soaking wet like a drowned rat. Streams of water were trickling down from the hem of his clothes as if he had come through the pouring rain without any cover.

“I realized halfway that I’d left my phone behind earlier, so I thought I should stop by and pick it up on my way home. I’m glad I made it before you closed…”

“Mr. Junyoung… you’re all wet.”

Seo Chiyoung hurriedly brought out a dry towel. As he began to wipe the towel over Yoon Junyoung’s head while he took the phone and checked the missed calls in silence, Seo Chiyoung suddenly froze.

He was burning up with a fever. To the point it was a wonder he was even standing.

“Mr. Junyoung, your fever…”

“Ah… it’s been like that since earlier. I’m fine.”

Despite saying so even though it was a temperature that was not fine at all, Yoon Junyoung murmured “Oh…” at the same time he finished that sentence, and then collapsed as if his legs had suddenly given out.

It was not even twenty or thirty minutes after the call ended that Jang Wigeon came running. Having answered the phone a bit languidly with a “What’s the matter, Mr. Chiyoung…?” as if he had just lain down in bed, he ran over without hesitation at the news that Yoon Junyoung had collapsed.

Yoon Junyoung was unconscious. His soaking clothes had been dried as much as possible with towels or newspaper, but they were still not completely dry, and Yoon Junyoung was pale and shivering violently.

“I think I need to take him home quickly and warm him up, but I don’t know where his house is…”

Beside Seo Chiyoung, who was muttering worriedly, Jang Wigeon checked Yoon Junyoung’s condition with serious eyes and hoisted him onto his back.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Chiyoung, but please carry Junyoung’s things and the umbrella.”