Chapter 140
After that day, Kim Hyeyeon would occasionally start conversations with me.
Since she still struggled with anything related to her trauma, I didn’t deliberately bring it up or stir it. I waited.
If there was one major change, it was that she sometimes began stopping by my counseling space before leaving again.
After her first session ended, her mental stat went from 2 to 4, which honestly shocked me a bit.
With a mental stat as low as 2, the fact that she had maintained that level of rationality meant she had endured remarkably well.
Just in case, I asked what was written under her traits and status.
Aside from depression listed under her condition, everything else seemed fine.
After revisiting her trauma once internally, she also became eligible for resonance therapy.
Day by day, Kim Hyeyeon improved.
Kim Woohyun’s parents even called me aside several times to thank me; that’s how much better she had gotten.
The problem was…
“……”
Kim Woohyun was still sitting there, hugging his knees.
Ever since that incident shocked him, he hadn’t spoken at all.
He stayed quiet.
At night, he would sometimes sniffle softly.
His parents tried their best to comfort him, but it didn’t seem very effective.
Kim Hyeyeon also said she wanted to try talking to him, but with him like this, you couldn’t just force them together.
Kim Woohyun probably understood it in his head.
That Kim Hyeyeon hadn’t been in her right mind back then.
‘But the problem is…’
Before that incident,
Kim Hyeyeon had recognized him and their family.
She knew who they were.
And whenever they appeared, she stopped.
That’s why, at that moment, Kim Woohyun had been left alone.
And that day… she had completely lost her reason and awareness, failed to recognize him, and attacked him.
Kim Woohyun knew that.
But knowing something logically and understanding it emotionally are two very different things.
I let out a quiet breath and sat down beside him.
“Did you eat?”
“Ah… yeah, I did…”
Kim Woohyun flinched slightly in surprise, then shrank back again.
He turned his head and shifted deeper into the corner… a clear sign he didn’t want to talk.
But I couldn’t just leave him like this.
“Let’s talk for a bit. Is that okay?”
He pulled his knees up and buried his face in them.
“I know you’re having a hard time. But I think we should talk before I leave.”
I had already spent several days here.
By now, Doul’s item appraisal should be nearly finished.
Before I left, I wanted to do everything I could.
After all, I owed them for feeding and sheltering me.
At my words, Kim Woohyun lifted his head.
“…You’re leaving?”
His hollow eyes trembled.
Like he couldn’t understand why.
Well… this was a good group.
Close-knit, like a family.
And they didn’t exclude others.
If anything, they welcomed people warmly.
So the idea of leaving probably didn’t make sense to him.
‘To begin with, I’m not someone suited to moving with a group.’
It wasn’t that I disliked groups… it was that somehow, whenever a group formed, I ended up becoming the decision-maker.
And that burdened me.
Even now, there was already an atmosphere of trust toward me.
If they left, this base would be entirely my responsibility.
Whatever decision I made, they would accept and respect it.
For example, even if I ate earlier than others, they would just say, That’s fine and move on… even though food was the most important issue.
I knew why.
The way I spoke tended to be firm and decisive, which came across as confidence… and earned trust.
But that didn’t mean I wanted to take responsibility for all these people.
More precisely…
I didn’t want to ruin the strong bond they had.
‘Because if one person falls, everything could collapse…’
That’s how family-based groups were.
If one person suffered, everyone suffered.
“I have to go. I came here because I had something to do. I can’t keep imposing.”
“Imposing–!”
He raised his voice for a moment… then seemed startled by himself, and lowered his head.
“…It’s not imposing.”
“Right. Anyway, let’s talk a bit before I go. You’ve been having a hard time lately.”
I lightly tapped his shoulder as I spoke.
He lowered his gaze.
Still not talking.
Maybe it was because there were people around.
“Then just repeat one thing after me.”
“……”
His eyes turned toward me.
“I want counseling.”
He looked at me like I’d said something absurd.
After I urged him a few times, he finally muttered it reluctantly.
—
[You have gained a client.]
[‘Shabby Counseling Center’ skill activates.]
—
As soon as he said it, the surroundings changed.
Kim Woohyun looked startled.
I gestured with my chin for him to sit.
“It’s fine. There’s nothing here. It’s just my space. Come sit. There’s nowhere else to sit anyway.”
After hesitating for a moment, he slowly sat down.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
Silence stretched on.
The one who broke it… was Kim Woohyun.
“…I know too.”
He muttered that he knew.
I didn’t need to ask what he meant.
“You do?”
I just asked back.
He shrank a little more.
“But you’re still not ready? Is it too hard to face her?”
He fidgeted for a long time.
I waited.
There was still time.
“…I don’t know how to say it. It’s just… I keep…”
“You keep?”
“I keep remembering that moment…”
That moment.
Yes… the moment Kim Hyeyeon attacked him.
“That’s normal. Nothing sticks in your memory more than being suddenly attacked by someone you trusted.”
I acknowledged it quietly.
I understood his confusion.
I already knew.
He knew she hadn’t been in her right mind… and he knew he should understand, and face her when she tried to talk… but the moment he thought of facing her, that memory resurfaced.
That moment… when she had truly intended to kill.
‘What should I even say here…’
That, too, was a trauma response.
Rather than suppressing it…
‘In the end, this one also needs time.’
It couldn’t be helped.
Mental issues weren’t resolved in a day or two…
I knew that better than anyone.
“…I’m not strange, am I?”
He mumbled.
A trauma response.
So naturally, a sense of rejection toward the person who was also his blood relative… and all of that turning into guilt and emotional burden.
The other person was family.
He knew she hadn’t been herself.
And now… she was trying to approach him again to apologize.
Yet just hearing her name made him recoil.
—
[That’s only natural. Completely natural.]
[Humans are such troublesome beings. Too many interconnected parts reacting in chains.]
—
I agreed with him.
“You’re not strange. You were genuinely afraid back then. You almost got hurt. It’s normal to be afraid of facing that person.”
“But she’s my sister… she wasn’t in her right mind either…”
“Even taking all that into account, you were still someone who could have been harmed.”
At those words, Kim Woohyun began to cry like a child.
He cried for a long time.
All the emotions he had been carrying… the fear, the burden, the guilt of not even being able to say he was afraid of his sister… it all burst out.
I quietly waited.
So he could calm himself, so he could let it all out.
“Still… someday, when you recover enough to face her again, then just listen to her once. Or try calling her. If seeing her face is hard, just listen to her voice.”
She was trying.
Trying very hard… even to suppress her reactions when triggered.
“She doesn’t hate you.”
In the end, they both carried guilt toward each other.
Kim Hyeyeon had cried for a long time too… over the fact that she almost harmed her younger brother.
“She feels really sorry. You two weren’t on bad terms, right?”
Just looking at his gentle face, the answer was obvious.
Both of them seemed mild-tempered… they probably didn’t fight much.
From what I’d heard from their parents, they were close.
So…
“Your sister cries a lot too. Because she’s worried you might cry. I’m not telling you to just understand and move on. But someday, when you have some room in your heart…”
Kim Woohyun wiped his tears and looked at me.
“Then try talking to her. If hearing her voice is too hard, start with messages. She’s still waiting for you.”
There was something he didn’t know.
What exactly had happened to Kim Hyeyeon that day… why had she become so defensive, why did she tremble at even the smallest noise?
Because he was the youngest, because he was protected… that very protection had created a wall between them.
The only thing I could do was help break that wall, even a little.
Because, unlike me… they would continue to live together.
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