Chapter 96
—
[The soul has refused to respond.]
[You already thought it wouldn’t work, so why did you do it anyway?]
—
I knew it. Calling him with this body in the first place was practically deception.
“Didn’t work?”
“Yeah. He’s not coming out.”
“Hmm.”
After thinking for a moment, Lee Hoin simply lay down on the bedding on the floor.
“It doesn’t feel like a threat yet. The food just feels… a bit strange, that’s all.”
In the end, we decided to rest. Resting was the only thing we could do. In the first place, we needed it anyway.
—
[The narrator has decided to be raised.]
—
I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Sunlight filtered faintly through the blackout curtains, and the air was warm. The blanket was soft and carried a comforting scent.
It really was an environment perfect for being raised.
***
I had a dream. I don’t usually dream, yet this was already the second time.
Still, it wasn’t a strange dream.
A lucid dream… but one where I was only aware, nothing more.
This time, the scene was of an orphanage teacher diligently taking care of the children, while I watched.
It was a routine I had seen countless times. At the orphanage where I lived, children who hadn’t yet graduated from elementary school received that kind of attentive care.
At least preschoolers needed that kind of care. Of course, that didn’t mean the older kids were neglected; it was more like they understood adolescence.
I had received that kind of care too.
That teacher, the one in the dream, was the one who had taken care of me.
Kind, gentle, sincere in everything.
The only problem was that she was a bit soft-hearted.
Since she often had to deal with teenagers, she would inevitably clash with them. And when the children she had raised herself lashed out with harsh words, it seemed to hurt her deeply. Sometimes, she would cry quietly in the corner of the boiler room.
‘If only she had been their real parent.’
If she were a mother, maybe those words wouldn’t have been said… but she was just an orphanage teacher.
At some point, the children who once treated her like a parent would say things like, “You’re not even my real mom, why are you making such a big deal?”
Even if she couldn’t become their real mother, she had lived caring for them as if they were her own. And that was completely denied.
“Mm, Hangyeol, you shouldn’t do that, okay? Soomin got hurt. She said ‘ow’ and cried, didn’t she? You shouldn’t do that. Would it be okay if Soomin just took what you were playing with too?”
The teacher was sweating as she disciplined the children.
At that moment, the door suddenly opened, and the director came in.
“Teacher Seo, can I speak with you for a moment?”
“Ah, yes! Director! Teacher Kim Jaehyung, could you watch the kids for a bit…?”
The two of them went outside.
This time, the scene shifted… as if I were watching from up in a tree.
“We’ve got a chance to receive sponsorship this time. It’s related to children leaving care… Because of that, the sponsors might meet the kids for a bit.”
The director frowned slightly, as if uneasy.
“It’s a sensitive time for the kids.”
The season when children were about to leave care.
Of course, the law had been revised so they could extend until age 24…
But most kids are prepared to leave around 20.
This orphanage did recommend extensions, but it wasn’t that simple.
I had to leave because I went to a university far away.
‘I was going to apply for a dorm.’
But somehow I couldn’t, so I ended up living in a tiny rented room during my first semester.
Anyway, when I was preparing to leave, there were about three others my age… including me.
And all of us were preparing to leave.
‘It really is a sensitive time.’
No home to return to, no parents to rely on, having to take responsibility for your own life… it wasn’t easy.
Even the others preparing to leave would shout every three hours that they wanted to extend their stay, then later say, “No, I’ll just leave.”
Standing on your own made you hopeful, but also powerless at the same time.
“Even with settlement funds… honestly, you know too, Teacher Seo. It’s barely enough for kids to live or spend in Seoul.”
“…Yes.”
Even with various forms of support, it was still like that.
And they were only 20. If you handed money to kids who had just turned 20, would they really use it properly?
No matter how much financial sense you tried to instill, they were still just 20.
‘Back then, scams were rampant too.’
People are trying to snatch away that small amount of money.
“If we get sponsorship, we can give the kids more money…”
“It would be best if they don’t meet the kids as much as possible. So tell them all to come back late in the evening. Tell them to go out somewhere, anywhere.”
“Ah…”
“…Maybe I’m being too pessimistic, but you know how it is. Once these kids leave care, there’s not much we can do if something bad happens to them.”
The role of the orphanage as a guardian ends.
Imagine 20-year-olds living alone with nowhere to rely on.
How many predators show up?
Not all sponsors are like that… but some are. And that’s the problem.
“If you could pass that along. Muyeong, Juyeon, Daewoon… they listen to you at least. Please.”
The teacher stood there for a moment.
As the time of leaving approached, the director tried to do everything possible… even spending his own money to help us get certificates and licenses.
When I was looking for a room, he personally went around with me, introducing himself as my “father.”
And when we left, he told us:
“Save me as ‘father,’ and never tell others that you don’t have parents.”
The director was always distant… but somehow, also close.
I never saved him as “father,” though.
‘I know what he was worried about.’
Still, I think at some point, I really disliked that distance.
When you’re young, if an adult keeps their distance, you think they must hate you, and it hurts deeply.
But if that person is the one who took you in, it feels like your world is collapsing.
And the dream ended like that… stirring up a vague, uncomfortable piece of the past.
***
Being “raised” wasn’t far from our current reality.
We really were being raised.
In a bad sense, it was being raised. In a good sense, it was being cared for.
The owner didn’t force us to do any housework.
She gave us meals on time, changed the sheets, replaced the blankets, and nudged us to wash.
The water and floors were warm, the blankets soft.
The food was delicious.
When we occasionally ate snacks or meals with others, it was simply harmonious.
It wasn’t even a precarious peace.
It was just… complete peace.
Tranquility.
Lee Hoin had fully recovered his stamina at some point and was casually chatting with Kim Sungho while walking around the loach soup restaurant.
Maybe he wanted to understand the mountain itself… he sometimes followed Kim Sungho around.
Surprisingly, the owner didn’t mind at all.
“Ah, the food supply route is down below.”
“Below?”
“Yeah, down. The neighborhood. They go all the way down there, bring back stuff, grow vegetables in a garden, and use frozen household supplies. There’s even a fish farm. Apparently, Mr. Kim Sungho used to run it. He still manages it occasionally. It looks like everything here is sourced piece by piece.”
So that’s where the food came from… not magically appearing, but through multiple sources working together.
Still, it was impressive.
No matter how much you farmed and raised fish, there were twelve people.
Feeding everyone like this, without rationing or strict distribution, wasn’t easy.
Lee Hoin flopped onto the bed and said,
“Something’s hidden.”
“Why?”
“That’s just the feeling I get.”
I felt it too.
Something was hidden.
The entire place was wrapped in a subtle stillness.
I quietly looked out into the dark outside.
The owner was patting Kim Sungho’s back, saying something.
Through the window, I could faintly hear it.
“Say something, you rascal. Jiho had another episode because of you. Seriously! Where did this kid who takes after his father so much even come from?!”
Thud!
With a loud smack, she hit Kim Sungho’s back, then shook her head while looking at him with clear affection.
“When you see the kids, greet them first! Huh? There’s a reason you’ve never even held a woman’s hand at your age, you know? What do you expect grandkids from me now? Stop scaring the kids! Why do you keep making the little ones cry like that?”
Kim Sungho only nodded silently.
Letting out a sigh, the owner said,
“When you go down, bring back what I told you properly. If you forget again, you don’t get any food. Got it?”
It was unbelievably peaceful.
And that made my fingertips turn cold.
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