Second Half Chapter 52

It was so bad that even Juhan, despite his cheerful nature, eventually exploded in frustration and gave him a stern lecture, saying he couldn’t stand to watch it anymore. Jerim only managed to pull himself together after a harsh scolding—being told that he wouldn’t survive as a professional in the EPL if he kept living like a person who’d lost his soul, and to think of his mother.

As a result, he threw away the phone that was cluttered with traces of Aaron and changed his number, believing he had shaken off his lingering feelings… or so he thought at the time. Back then, when he was being scolded by Juhan.

‘Right, anyway, it’s all in the past, so what’s the point now.’

Jerim hurriedly swallowed the words that were about to pop out. He had heard the explanation that Aaron hadn’t cheated, the misunderstanding was cleared up, the fight from the day before was resolved amicably, and they had won the match. What more was there to nitpick?

Perhaps Aaron thought they had already broken up back then, or he resigned himself to the idea that it was too late to turn back, or maybe he didn’t contact Jerim for some other reason. Or, it could be that his anger over the harsh words Jerim spat out hadn’t cooled down. That was the most persuasive assumption. It would also explain why he acted like that during the World Cup.

Jerim struggled to suppress the old emotions that were blooming alongside the long-standing questions. Recalling the past, the feelings of helplessness, resentment, sadness, regret, and apology he felt at the time tried to rush back like a tide.

‘…If the conversation gets any longer, we’ll fight again.’

Don’t think about it. Consciously erasing useless thoughts and assumptions that could affect his condition was one of the things Jerim did best. This time, too, he cut off the ensuing thoughts as if pruning branches. He didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere of reconciliation he had managed to create.

Now that everything was going well, if he tried to nitpick details like ‘Why did you do that then, you were mean, who was more at fault,’ his feelings might get hurt again. Honestly, they were now teammates, nothing more and nothing less, so shouldn’t he be in a position to thank Aaron just for explaining things from 10 years ago? Jerim slowly closed and opened his eyes.

“…Never mind. Okay, I understand. I’ll believe you.”

“Everything? Including the part where I never cheated, and that I’m not the kind of trash who goes to meet his fiancée right after sucking his ex-boyfriend’s cock?”

“Yeah.”

“…You sure believe me quickly.”

Jerim, who didn’t properly hear the murmur that was spilled quickly at a near-whisper level, tilted his head.

“What?”

“No, forget it. I really should have prepared evidence from the start… but I didn’t have any back then. I’m just glad you’re listening to me now.”

Right, it’s a relief that everything is being resolved well even now. For the first time, Jerim didn’t take Aaron’s words cynically and sincerely agreed.

His body, which had been tense from listening intently, went limp. After pushing Aaron, who was sitting next to him, away with his foot to secure some space, Jerim, now halfway reclining, toyed with his coffee cup and muttered.

“Mmm… it is a bit draining, though.”

“What is?”

“The fact that I wasted so much emotional energy all this time.”

Pointlessly, Jerim added, staring up at the high ceiling.

“If this misunderstanding had been cleared up sooner, we might not have fought yesterday… I’ve realized a lot through this whole thing, you know?”

“…And what exactly did our noble captain realize this time?”

“That fighting with a teammate the day before a match is fucking disastrous.”

The reason they had been bickering constantly since Aaron’s transfer was entirely because Jerim misunderstood him as a bastard who cheated and then ghosted him. If it had just been an old friend from their youth transferring to the same club after 10 years, he wouldn’t have snarled like that. He wouldn’t have fought right before a match, ruined the first half, and been openly chewed out by the manager in front of all his other teammates.

Jerim never wanted to go through such a shameful and pathetic experience again. A captain who puts the team at risk because he can’t manage his own private emotions—such a thing doesn’t even deserve to exist. It was lucky the result was good, but if they had lost… Jerim’s brow furrowed automatically, not even wanting to imagine it.

“I poignantly realized that if things are emotionally creaky, the teamwork falls apart too. So.”

He stood up abruptly and held out his right hand to Aaron.

“Let’s try to do well from now on, Aaron. As teammates sharing the goal of the Big Ear.”

“Is that it?”

Aaron just looked down at the right hand again, narrowing his eyes as if dissatisfied. Jerim countered.

“It’s enough if teammates are on good terms; what else is needed? Too much time has passed for you and me to try anything again just because some misunderstandings were cleared up.”

“…”

“I don’t love you like that anymore. No, I don’t think I can love you like that. I think that was a relationship that was only possible because we were both young back then…”

Honestly, our personalities and ways of thinking don’t match at all.

He didn’t let those words out on purpose. There was no need to throw cold water on the atmosphere that was finally beginning to warm up. Besides, since the 10-year-old misunderstanding was cleared, Aaron wouldn’t be so naive as to suggest they date again, nor could he have that much feeling left.

Even knowing that, blocking any possibility in advance was no different from a declaration. A declaration to spend their time only as good teammates without crossing the line.

When he retired before long, Jerim wanted to return to Korea, marry someone from the same culture, have children, and lead an ordinary life. Without feeling the loneliness of being stranded alone in the universe, returning to the midst of people where communication is free and ways of thinking are similar. He wanted to enjoy a peaceful daily life where he no longer had to feel pressure or fear.

There is no more room for Aaron to squeeze into the life Jerim desires. Just because seeing his face makes him horny.

…The problem was that the reason was quite significant, and he occasionally couldn’t control his body from reacting of its own accord, but that was that. He just had to make sure he didn’t create situations where lines would be crossed in the future.

“Don’t refuse the handshake. I’m finally reaching out first, and it’ll be fucking disappointing if I’m ignored.”

Jerim shook his outstretched hand vigorously, urging Aaron again. He gently melted away the old emotions that had bubbled up like carbonated water.

“…Fine, we have a long way to go. Let’s do well.”

Only then did Aaron take his right hand. Since he had no intention of engaging in a power struggle by twisting each other’s hands like a wet rag—as they had when Aaron first transferred—Jerim engaged in the handshake with a relaxed grip.

However, the moment he tried to pull his hand away after two or three shakes, Aaron suddenly applied strength to his grip. Jerim yelled out at the sharp pain transmitted from his extremities.

“Is this the kind of handshake someone who wants to ‘do well’ gives?”

“Isn’t it just that it feels painful because your body is currently in a state worse than a jellyfish? You need to build up some stamina.”

“Hey, you’re just at a monster level. I’m the type who can handle full time even through extra time!”

“Full time through extra time? Looking at your current state, you look like you’d faint the moment it ended.”

Jerim aimed and threw a cushion at Aaron’s face. His movements seemed to have completely forgotten that they were on a path moving past a truce and toward the end of a war just a moment ago. Aaron took the first two hits quietly, but from the third one, he raised his arm to block it. He tossed the cushion he caught aside and stood up.

“If you’re not staying the night, get up slowly. I’ll take you home.”

“Take me where? Hand over the car keys I lent you the other day. I can just drive that back.”

It’s only far when walking; it’s a distance that takes about ten minutes by car, so why bother. He held out his hand to quickly get back the keys to his most expensive car, but Aaron ignored him and pulled the zipper of his hoodie all the way to his neck.

“Didn’t you say you’re dying of sleepiness?”

“I’m awake now.”

“Don’t be pointlessly stubborn and just accept a favor when it’s offered, please. I’m not going to go inside your house.”

Leaving behind a hesitating Jerim, Aaron found Jerim’s car keys from somewhere and spun the keychain around his finger.

“We’re saying we won’t cross the line from now on, right? I fully understand what you mean, so rest assured. Just consider the last time as being bitten by a mad dog.”

To consider it as being bitten by a mad dog, it was somewhat embarrassing because it was a fact that Jerim had responded passionately. Not only did he stay still while being lunged at, he had even moved his hips because it felt good… no, in the first place, it wasn’t like he was bitten indiscriminately; it was no different from him coming over first and smelling of meat to be bitten…

Jerim, whose earlobes had turned hot, straightened the sofa cushions he had disarranged with clumsy hands. It was his own way of showing he was sorry.