Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. – Chapter 214 – You’re Always Welcome to Be Rude

Author: Cireng

Chapter 214: You’re Always Welcome to Be Rude

“Very well.”

Chairman Blackbeak of the Interracial Association spoke in a slightly more animated voice.

Anyone could tell he was in a noticeably better mood.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll gladly give it to you. The entrance to [The Rotten Crossroads Black Market] will be delivered shortly. That labyrinth now belongs to the Moonlight Expedition.”

I was now the proud owner of a labyrinth… and not just any ordinary labyrinth.

It was filled with attractions perfectly suited to my tastes, and if I unearthed its hidden pieces, I’d even be able to enjoy luxurious expeditions there in the future.

“Ah… right, um… As for the Mystic Tome and the rest, tell me now exactly what you want.”

“For the Mystic Tome, I’d like [Mystic Adornment].”

It was a choice made for Brightfeather.

Ordinarily, it was nearly worthless, but in the hands of our parrotfolk, it became an absurdly overpowered Mystery.

“Granted.”

As expected, he accepted without giving it a moment’s thought.

“For the artifact, I would like [Waves of Dawn].”

It was a tool with a wide variety of practical uses.

“Very well. And for the miscellaneous tool?”

“Do you happen to have [Thunderous Shout]?”

“Uh… we actually made one just a few days ago.”

“Then I’d like that.”

[Thunderous Shout] was a single-use tool that granted the ability to communicate with monsters, animals, plants, and other beings that possessed intelligence but could not speak.

I planned to use it on the Crimson Death Rose, the [Verdant Companion] belonging to Rosalia, whom I’d somehow grown closer to after speaking with her as “Assassin Karr.”

“And which martial Mystery would you like to learn from me?”

“Please teach me [Land of Selflessness].”

“Oh… Certainly. I’ll send all of them, along with the entrance to [The Rotten Crossroads Black Market], within a few days. As for [Land of Selflessness], come every morning to learn it.”

Blackbeak set his cup down with a tap. His face had become visibly brighter.

“Now then, our business is concluded. You may leave.”

Apparently he was becoming happier and happier simply because this troublesome conversation was finally ending.

There wasn’t anything else I could squeeze out of him by dragging it on, so I immediately let Perrin carry me and stood up.

“Until next time.”

“Ah… um… you as well.”

“Why did you hesitate? You’ve hurt my feelings.”

“Please leave.”

The chairman casually waved his hand before putting the mouthpiece of his pipe back into his beak.

Mek and I left the chairman’s office.

Just as we were about to leave the administrative district…

“…Hm?”

We ran into another Association member on their way to meet Blackbeak.

An elf with striking white hair.

“A blond half-elf? Ah–could you possibly be Lord Karr?”

[‘Great Bear’ Miruel (Wood Elf, 129 years old). One of the moderate Association members who participated in the recent tournament. A druid who’s been making quite a name for himself lately. Also, one of Pendrick’s friends from when he lived on the Eastern Continent.]

Miruel. The friend Pendrick often mentioned whenever his stories became long.

He was one of the moderate explorers who had participated in the tournament as a member of the Unity Guild directly under the chairman.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lord Miruel.”

“The pleasure is all mine!”

Miruel strode over and warmly took my hand.

“Our Association owes you a tremendous debt, Lord Karr. Are you just coming from a meeting with the Chairman?”

“That’s right.”

“The Chairman probably didn’t thank you properly, so allow me to do so instead. You have my sincerest gratitude.”

Smiling gently, Miruel’s lips curled upward.

It was a refreshing smile worthy of comparison with his friend Pendrick.

Then the white-haired elf suddenly became serious.

“Lord Karr, would you mind if I were a little rude despite this being our first meeting?”

“Rudeness is always welcome.”

“In that case…”

Without warning, Miruel buried his face against my neck and began sniffing.

“Oooh… Ah… Incredible…”

A constant stream of admiring exclamations escaped him.

“…Would you mind lowering yourself a little?”

“Gladly. Perrin?”

“Yes.”

Holding me in front of him, Perrin crouched down.

Miruel immediately buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply.

“Good heavens… this is truly…”

[:(]

[I think you’ve attracted yet another lunatic….]

At last, Miruel straightened his back and spoke politely.

“Thank you. It was such a unique scent that I’d never encountered before that I became a little excited.”

“That’s perfectly alright. I get excited quite often myself.”

“This is driving me crazy. Is there some sort of curse on elven bloodlines or something…?”

Mek shook his head in disbelief.

Only then did Miruel glance down at the goblin quietly chewing on a cucumber.

“Mek. Since you’re not smoking, your scent isn’t nearly as unbearable. If you continue to refrain from smoking, I’ll gladly smell you in the future as well.”

“Now I feel like smoking forever just because of you….”

“Lord Karr.”

Completely ignoring the goblin’s muttering, Miruel turned back toward me.

Rustle.

Flowers bloomed across the elf’s body, utterly obsessed with scents.

Miruel’s [Verdant Companion]… Heavenly Fragrance Jasmine. A flower capable of producing thousands upon thousands of different aromas.

“It isn’t much compared to what you’ve done in stopping Lord Jerix’s reckless plan, but I’d like to give you a massage.”

Come to think of it, the [Bear-Crushing Massage] Pendrick had once given me… was something he’d learned from Miruel.

“That sounds wonderful. Shall I undress here?”

“Oh my! I’d love that as well! Half-elf sweat is famously fragrant!”

“…Good grief.”

Mek rubbed a hand over his face.

“Let’s just go to your inn first.”

“I don’t mind doing it here. If someone simply gave the order, I could stroll naked down the streets.”

“I sincerely hope no one ever gives that order….”

Thanks to the goblin’s stubborn insistence, we ultimately returned to our inn, The Sleeping Piggy.

“I’ll prepare everything immediately.”

Miruel retrieved a mat from the subspace within his necklace and spread it across the courtyard.

There was no reason to hesitate. I immediately removed only the upper half of [Sky Invader] and lay face-down.

“First, I’ll spread a fragrance that relaxes the body.”

Shaa…

The Heavenly Fragrance Jasmine released pink-colored mist.

Instantly, the aftereffects of [Grand Chaos Disruption Field] subsided, and both my body and mind melted into blissful relaxation.

“…Here I go.”

Wrapping both arms in green energy, Miruel climbed onto my back.

Crack.

“Ahh…!?”

A refreshingly exhilarating pain, as though my entire body had been liberated from reality itself.

Its power existed on an entirely different level from Pendrick’s, who had never learned martial Mysteries.

“Aahhh….”

I’d already reached my limit.

A healthy massage wasn’t hardship or adversity, so I couldn’t properly enjoy it.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes….”

With astonishingly skillful hands, Miruel relentlessly ravaged my fragile body.

Was this paradise?

The pain from my back being mercilessly pounded transformed, moment by moment, into refreshing comfort as my body loosened.

“We’re finished.”

“Haa….”

The [Bear-Crushing Massage] was over, yet I remained lying there for quite some time.

I’d melted into a half-liquid half-elf.

“Your skill was magnificent.”

Blushing brightly, I raised my upper body.

Modestly covering myself with both arms.

“You’ve completely conquered both my body and my heart. Please take responsibility.”

“If you call for me, I’ll gladly do it again anytime. If there’s ever anything else you need from me, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Still sitting on the mat, I glanced at my right foot.

“Lord Miruel, you’re a druid, correct?”

“Indeed. I live as the humble gardener of Lord Meterd.”

“Would it be possible for you to make me a prosthetic leg from a tree that continues growing on its own?”

Since I’d already removed all my toes, the next time I performed a self-sacrifice ritual, I intended to offer my right leg.

I should use it as economically as possible, little by little.

But each time my right leg became shorter, I couldn’t exactly commission a brand-new prosthetic.

“I need a prosthetic that will continue growing on its own, adjusting itself no matter how much of my leg I lose.”

“That’s certainly possible. However, I’ll need leaves or branches from a tree deeply connected to you.”

Fortunately, I had a friend who was practically family.

“Here. Please take this.”

I plucked one tiny leaf from Rot Sprout, which had grown considerably, and handed it over.

“…Yes. This would be ideal.”

After a brief hesitation, Miruel accepted the little leaf.

“It should take around five days.”

“Understood. Until then, I suppose my companions and I will simply relax here in District Five.”

“I’ll ask the Chairman to cover your lodging expenses, so stay and enjoy yourselves for as long as you like.”

As I stood up while holding Miruel’s hand, Mek, who had been watching nearby, pulled a paprika from his pocket.

Just how many vegetables for quitting smoking did he carry around?

“…Huh.”

He raised it toward his mouth… only to drop it onto the courtyard before taking a bite.

“……”

Miruel’s expression also suddenly turned cold.

Wondering what was wrong, I turned toward the entrance where both of them were looking.

A casually dressed goblin stood there.

Jerix Invincible. The goblin hero once known as the Invincible.

Filled with delight, I gently waved my hand.

“You’ve come, Father?”

“…Don’t call me that anymore.”

With his hands in his pockets, Jerix slowly trudged toward us.

“Stay back.”

Miruel stepped in front of me, speaking coldly.

“What are you planning to do to Lord Karr? Have you come to harm the person who ruined your plans?”

“You think rather poorly of me. Though I suppose I brought that upon myself.”

Chuckling, the goblin chieftain looked up at the sky.

“I’ve already lost. The title of Invincible has faded away. And my ideals have sunk with it.”

Perhaps it was my imagination. Though he smiled bitterly, he somehow looked relieved.

I quietly stepped out from behind Miruel and stood before Jerix.

“Had your plan succeeded, Lord Jerix… you intended to die while bearing sole responsibility for every future tragedy committed against humans, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“…What?”

The white-haired elf, who had looked ready to charge him at any moment, froze.

“I intended to become the root cause of countless tragedies and descend into hell carrying every last sin upon my shoulders.”

No one else could have attempted such a thing.

Only Jerix… a hero renowned as Invincible… could have given such an act any meaning.

“…You intended to become the mastermind behind every tragedy so the world would understand that it wasn’t merely the result of simple hatred?”

Mek asked the Goblin Chieftain.

“That’s right.”

“……!”

Jerix looked toward his son and smiled faintly.

“But… after cooling my head following my defeat in the tournament, I realized it truly was too reckless.”

“…You knew that, and you still pushed ahead.”

“Because I believed someone had to do it. Though, in truth, that line of thinking only took root because someone encouraged me.”

That much was true.

Between The Whisperer Zmurtral’s manipulation of fate and his constant encouragement, Jerix had become even more willing to pursue such an extreme course.

“Now that you’ve defeated me so thoroughly, I won’t force such a reckless plan anymore. For the time being… I’ll reflect on my actions.”

“……”

Mek and Miruel exchanged glances, both visibly stunned.

Neither had expected Jerix to let everything go so easily.

“Golden Crow.”

Jerix then turned toward me.

“You’re being awfully formal, Father.”

“…Enough of that.”

“Just a little longer.”

“You entrusted the capture of Zmurtral to your companions, didn’t you?”

“Zmurtral?”

The two moderate explorers tilted their heads in confusion.

It was likely their first time hearing the name. He’d thoroughly twisted fate to erase his own presence.

“In the dream I had today, I saw demons transporting the defeated Zmurtral to District Six. It was the effect of my Mystery, [Prophetic Dream of the Wilderness]. Those demons appeared to be your companions. Was I mistaken?”

“More accurately… they’re my lord.”

It seemed the Demon King had successfully completed the mission of capturing Zmurtral alive.

Once I returned, I’d have to reward him with an act of creating a positive concept even bolder than the massage I’d promised.

“May I ask one favor?”

“Would you like me to become Seraphiena immediately?”

“…No. I was asking you not to kill Zmurtral. That friend of mine is merely another victim of racial discrimination, someone who still hasn’t escaped the trauma of being abused by humans.”

“What sort of relationship do you have that you’d ask such a favor?”

Even I hadn’t known the answer.

New story developments were always welcome.

“Well….”

For some reason, Jerix hesitated before scratching his head.

“He’s my lover.”

“…What did you just say?!”

Mek, who had silently been watching his father, jumped in shock.

“What do you mean, Father?! Mother is alive and well!”

“…Ahem.”

“Good grief. Even I’m stunned.”

The fact that Zmurtral was a male lizardman wasn’t particularly unusual in the City of Harmony, Pletica.

After all, the head of House Brites had one husband in addition to his two wives.

The thing that truly bothered me… was something else.

“And yet you still fell for your daughter-in-law’s seduction? Poor Seraphiena….”

“I couldn’t help it!”

Jerix suddenly crossed his arms proudly.

“Love that arrives through destiny creates an instinctive attraction. No matter how strong one’s will may be, it’s not something that can easily be resisted.”

“……”

That excuse sounded strangely familiar. It was exactly the same logic Manager Choi had used when explaining his affair to his wife after getting caught.

“…Father.”

Mek spoke with complete disgust written across his face.

“From today onward… drop ‘Invincible’ from your name.”

It was the first reverse family-register disownment in history.

***

The entertainment district of the Interracial Association headquarters.

In front of the tavern “Secret Whisper.”

“I’m here!”

For some reason, Bartimir came running toward me as though it had been a whole month since we’d last met.

He picked me up and spun me around once.

“Didn’t you miss me?”

“I missed you terribly. I cried because I missed you.”