Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 50 - This Is Why They're an Evil God

Chapter 50 – This Is Why They’re an Evil God

 

A deity dies without faith rising from the mortal world.

Like someone suffering from hunger and thirst, they gradually wither away day by day until they finally disappear.

Moreover, if they lacked divine power, the total sum of their followers’ faith, then the extent to which they could intervene in the mortal world became extremely limited, making it difficult for them to display any significant power.

That was why every deity desperately sought the steady expansion of their faith.

“Believe in me now and receive a free boost to your fortune!”

The second-in-command of the righteous gods.

Talendros, the God of Earned Fortune and Precious Harvests, shamelessly lured followers in with promises of wealth.

It was admittedly somewhat vulgar.

But if one wished to avoid vanishing, one sometimes had to swallow their pride and compromise.

Which raised the question… Why were Evil Gods called evil?

Because there was something fundamentally wrong with the way they thought.

That’s why they had all been grouped under the word ‘evil’.

“May I say something honest? It might sound a little rude.”

When I cautiously asked, the Silent One answered in a timid voice.

【Go… go ahead. I am not such a fragile deity that a believer’s words would wound me….】

Since I’d been given permission, I spoke the truth without hesitation.

“The reason the Cult of Lonely Silence shrank until it practically collapsed… is entirely because of you, Lord Lriria…”

If the deity one served had committed serious mistakes, then a truly loyal believer had to point them out.

If a ruler surrounded themselves only with flattering sycophants, they would inevitably waste away.

Yet perhaps my advice was too harsh for the one deity whom even the other Evil Gods, despite constantly fighting among themselves, no longer bothered to oppose.

【Even so… isn’t that a little too harsh….】

The deity with only three believers began sounding tearful.

Though I was a cold-hearted Cultist, I couldn’t remain unmoved by the tears of a great deity.

So… I temporarily changed jobs into a half-elf therapist and gently continued.

“Why were you so obsessed with burning the living and turning the entire world into a land of the dead?”

Back when Lriria was the Chief Deity of the Evil Gods, his ideology and goals were so catastrophically harmful to the mortal world that he became the primary target of the righteous gods.

“Your beliefs were so cruel that during the Great Holy War, every senior Cultist of Lonely Silence was caught up in the Inquisition and completely wiped out.”

【…I do regret what happened back then, to some extent.】

The Silent One’s revelation was noticeably more dejected now.

【But… I only wanted to see a world where every living being became undead… and the world sank into silent darkness….】

Despite having only three believers left… he still wasn’t reflecting on his actions at all.

‘This’ was why he was an Evil God.

‘The Nightmare World… was the ideal world, Lriria. dreamed of, wasn’t it?’

It was said that thousands of years ago, the entire Northern Continent had once truly been swallowed by pitch-black darkness.

Ever since then, the righteous gods had worked tirelessly to prevent faith in Lriria from growing.

Because of that, it was considered virtually impossible for her to ever become a great deity again.

[The Wise One mocks this pathetic Evil God, saying she ought to disappear already.]

Crackle.

【S-So… you’re also serving Lidni and Su’eje….】

Perhaps sensing the ridicule being directed at her by the two Evil Gods, Lriria’s already faint presence shrank even further.

【Why are you serving two Evil Gods and still perfectly… Ah, no. I suppose your mind isn’t exactly normal.】

“What do you mean by that? I’m disappointed. I refuse to become your believer.”

【A-Aaaah! I’m sorry! I was wrong….】

Bullying a great deity this much wasn’t especially satisfying.

It was probably time to stop… After just a little more.

【Y-You really do intend… to become my Cultist…?】

“No. It was all a lie.”

【…I knew it….】

“The lie was that it was a lie. But why do you keep asking?”

【…Honestly… it still doesn’t feel real.】

It was understandable that he’d be both happy and confused.

Now that he’d become the weakest deity, even the Mysteries he bestowed had become pitifully weak.

Without enough faith, there was little to attract new believers.

Without new believers, faith continued to dry up.

A vicious cycle.

Lriria was already rolling steadily toward extinction.

New followers had become an extraordinary rarity.

【C-Could it be… that you’re some kind of pervert who enjoys suffering…?】

“This will be the last day you wonder that.”

I proudly raised my head.

“Allow me to make a prophecy.”

As the third-highest-ranking believer in the Cult of Lonely Silence, I could swear it.

“From now on… the number of believers serving Lord Lriria. will steadily increase.”

I would restore Lord Lriria to the great deity he once was.

I intended to personally become her advance agent and spread faith in the Silent One far and wide.

“I promise to increase your number of believers to more than one hundred times the current amount.”

【Truly?! Karr! I-I hereby appoint you the vanguard of the Cult of Lonely Silence…!】

“I’ll do my utmost.”

[Correction: Even multiplied by one hundred, that would only be three hundred believers. She would still be the weakest deity.]

True enough.

But for a deity in such desperate circumstances, even three hundred followers would probably feel like unimaginable wealth.

Happiness might be nothing more than an illusion…

Yet relative value still existed.

【Now then… I shall bestow your basic Mystery…!】

‘Fwoosh.’

A lukewarm flame began burning along my left arm.

Rolling up my sleeve,

I found that the flame had already transformed into a vivid crimson tattoo.

It took the form of a snake with long, sleek scales stretched across my arm.

It ought to have looked intimidating.

Instead… Because so little divine power had gone into it, it looked more like an earthworm.

【I-I feel dizzy…. I shall… take my leave….】

Apparently, even this had exhausted his divine power.

The Silent One’s presence abruptly vanished.

I stored the idol away in my subspace, then tested the Mystery I’d just received.

The snake tattoo on my left arm wriggled toward my fingertips.

It opened its mouth wide.

‘Whoosh.’

A flame weaker than a candle flickered from my index finger…

Then immediately went out.

That was it.

 

[First-Tier Growth Mystery — Flame of Life and Death]

[Allows you to wield flames imbued with the powers of life and death. At present, it’s an utterly hopelessly pathetic Mystery, so just keep using ‘Ember of Glory’ instead.]

[It’s so pitiful that the Wise One is laughing uncontrollably!]

 

Bzzzt!

Ridni and Su’eje couldn’t suppress their laughter at how feeble Flame of Life and Death was.

They weren’t wrong.

At the moment… It really was trash.

However… There existed a special method capable of causing its power to grow explosively.

If I used that method, even those two Evil Gods wouldn’t be able to dismiss it anymore.

‘First, I should give Lord Lriria a present to commemorate becoming his believer.’

Rosalia had treated me like I was completely drunk.

But I was perfectly normal, as always.

I walked over to the window and placed one foot on the windowsill.

 

[Wait!]

[Where exactly are you planning to go at this hour, and why are you climbing out the window?]

 

I wasn’t sure why the text appeared with such urgency, but I answered honestly.

“I’m going to burn a few people alive for Lord Lriria. I’ll head to the Eastern District, where all the drunks are. Everyone’s intoxicated, so if I quietly kidnap one person, no one will notice. And if I sneak out without the innkeeper knowing, then when the city guards arrive, it’ll prove I was still inside my room.”

It was an exceptionally logical and reasonable explanation.

Only after a brief pause did Eyes That Perceive the Truth respond.

 

[You are genuinely drunk. I strongly recommend that you go back to sleep immediately.]

 

I couldn’t understand.

Why was it trying to stop me?

All I wanted to do… was kidnap about three completely innocent explorers, burn them alive, and offer them as part of Lord Lriria’s religious worship.

 

***

 

3. Traits

 

No matter what, you absolutely want to choose Fanatic and Rusted Mind.

The reason is simple.

Together, they enable a build where you can simultaneously serve multiple Evil Gods.

One thing to be careful of: both traits have considerable drawbacks.

Rusted Mind, in particular, requires caution.

It’s an extremely useful trait.

It cuts your Mental Power in half, but removes the penalties for maintaining multiple faiths.

However…

You must be wary of status ailments that reduce your sanity, such as Drunkenness.

These conditions fundamentally alter your character’s way of thinking.

In such a state, your character may begin performing bizarre actions that are difficult to control.

Exercise caution.

 

— ‘Excerpt from “A Twisted Truth Cultist Guide Written by a Veteran with 20,000 Hours Playing Nothing but Cultists Because New Players Were Too Frustrating to Watch.”‘

 

***

 

“I simply don’t understand.”

An elderly priest wearing ceremonial robes of black and white stood gazing out the window.

Elioras, Bishop of the Third Diocese of the Harmony Church, quietly muttered to himself.

“What troubles you?”

His escort, a Holy Knight standing perfectly upright beside him, asked carefully.

Bishop Elioras… famously known as “Clear-Headed” Elioras because he rarely thought deeply about anything… was actually worrying about something.

Whatever the reason, it couldn’t be ordinary.

“I received rather… peculiar instructions.”

The bishop silently watched the scenery outside before finally replying.

“The Saint delivered a message to every bishop for the first time in quite a while… but I have absolutely no idea what it means.”

“Is it something I’m not supposed to know?”

“I don’t know. But as long as the two of us keep it secret, that should be fine, shouldn’t it?”

Normally… the proper answer would have been ‘No, absolutely not.’

But the Holy Knight couldn’t suppress his curiosity.

The Saint Peris Artea.

The spokesperson of Protection and Wisdom was personally chosen by Artein.

Opportunities to gain even the slightest glimpse into the Saint’s thoughts were extraordinarily rare.

The Holy Knight had never even spoken with the Saint… he’d only seen them from afar during the appointment ceremony.

“You should be trustworthy enough. Go ahead and take a look.”

Bishop Elioras withdrew a sheet of paper containing handwritten instructions from the Saint and handed it over.

Because it was personally written by the Saint, the paper itself surely carried the Mystery of the One Who Protects All.

Filled with reverence, the Holy Knight began reading.

Then tilted his head in confusion.

[The Goddess says we should keep an eye on Karr, Cultist of Twisted Truth, from now on. I don’t know why. I think her feelings are probably more favorable than hostile.]

“…What is this supposed to mean?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

They were to watch the Cultist of Twisted Truth… but they didn’t know why.

Judging from the wording, the order probably wasn’t to treat him as an enemy.

It was an oddly vague instruction.

“The Saint occasionally says bewildering things, but they’ve never once misinterpreted the Goddess’s words. I truly can’t understand why such an order was given.”

“…Indeed.”

The two of them put their heads together, searching for some hidden meaning.

But no answer came.

“Could it be… that the One Who Protects All gave the revelation that ambiguously in the first place?”

“…”

The bishop and the Holy Knight stared at one another in silence.

Then burst into laughter simultaneously.

“Hah! That joke was a little much.”

“My apologies. Lady Artein, whose vision surpasses every other deity’s, would never do such a thing.”

“Speaking of which, all this thinking has made me hungry. Shall we go have a snack together?”

“If the bishop is going, I can hardly refuse.”

Still chuckling, the two of them abandoned any further attempts to decipher the mysterious message passed down by the Saint.

Completely unaware… that the tiny flame reflected in the eyes of the small statue of Artein standing in one corner of the bishop’s office… had begun to flicker ever so slightly.