Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 99 - One of These Three

Chapter 99 — One of These Three

 

“You’re quite something, kid!”

Pat! Pat! Pat!

Brunelda laughed heartily as he repeatedly patted my back.

Although they were clearly meant as congratulatory pats, my body flailed around as though I were being pummeled with fists.

“So you knew I’d always dreamed of sparring with the Guild Master, and that’s why you appeared in his form?”

“That’s correct. If I’d borrowed anyone else’s appearance, you wouldn’t have been shaken in the slightest, Sir Brunelda.”

“You’re a real little monster!”

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!

“Thank you. But it really hurts.”

“Kuhahahaha!”

“Ah, you don’t have to hold back anymore. I think my waist has already snapped.”

“You’ve got quite the sense of humor!”

“I wasn’t joking, but thank you anyway.”

I had successfully passed Brunelda’s test.

[Dark Clouds Rumble] + [Transformation].

One of the strongest combinations a multi-faith half-elf cultist personally selected by Karr could bring to bear.

Naturally, it was a one-time deception that wouldn’t work twice.

But since I would never be facing him as an enemy anyway, I could freely expose my tactics until I stood completely naked.

“I enjoyed that. It was an interesting strategy. As expected, an up-and-coming explorer drawing so much attention really is different! When I sparred under the same conditions, I got knocked out in ten seconds!”

The ordinary guild members participating in the Guild War approached and warmly greeted me.

[Spirit Archer Rai (Sea Garden Elf, 73 years old). Specialty: Spirit Arts. Calm in temperament, just like a Sea Garden Elf.]

[Dran of Teramea, Monk (Sheep Beastman, 25 years old). Specialty: Repose. As a believer of the War-Crazed Goddess, he possesses combat power surpassing the limits of his race.]

Those two formed the strongest lineup among the Gray Wolf Guild’s Level 7 explorers.

Veterans with both abundant skill and experience.

Since the Guild War labyrinth equalized everyone’s level, experience was an undeniable advantage.

“Congratulations, Lord Karr!”

Vice Guild Master Yallen approached a step later than everyone else, hopping around me energetically.

To anyone looking, he resembled an innocent child.

“…”

“…Hmm.”

Rai and Dran quietly looked away from the dwarf vice guild master as he bounced around.

“Since you defeated Brunelda in your spar, I suppose you’ll achieve great things in the Guild War too? I’m allowed to look forward to it starting today, right?”

[Actual meaning: If you fail to put on a proper performance, prepare to embarrass yourself thoroughly. Here’s a massive load of pressure!]

Looking down at Yallen, I answered confidently.

“Please set your expectations as high as possible. I am a half-elf capable of accomplishing even more than that. You may even experience a level of emotion comparable to witnessing the descent of a god.”

“…Really?”

“To be honest, I’m a little afraid. I’m worried that Lord Targon might grab my pant leg and beg me to remain a guild member forever. My heart is rather soft, so if that happens… I might actually be swayed.”

“…”

For just an instant, the dwarf’s cheerful expression cracked.

The guild members watching nearby quickly turned away and covered their mouths, barely suppressing their laughter.

“Kuhaha! I told you, you’re hilarious!”

Brunelda vigorously pounded my waist again.

My body fluttered like a sheet of paper wherever his hand landed.

“Excellent! From today onward, you’re part of my tribe! I’ll call you Tribesman Karr from now on!”

“Then please buy me something delicious, Chieftain.”

“You adapt quickly! I like that even more! Come on! Since the festival’s still going, there are all kinds of amazing food stalls outside!”

“…Wait a second, Brunelda!”

Just as the barbarian vice guild master slung an arm over my shoulder and tried to drag me outside, Yallen hurriedly stopped him.

“Couldn’t we eat later? We still need joint training and a strategy meeting before the Guild War.”

“Hmph! No matter how much you train, it’s pointless. What matters is real combat.”

“Wise words indeed, Chieftain!”

Switching into flattering cultist mode, I rubbed my hands together.

People holding positions ending with -chief naturally needed a sycophantic subordinate who did nothing but flatter them.

Only then was proper dignity achieved.

“And as for strategy… Yallen, you handle that. Isn’t the Schemer class supposed to specialize in exactly that sort of thing?”

“Every word you speak reaches the very truth itself, Chieftain!”

“…”

The dwarf vice guild master looked at me with faintly trembling eyes before awkwardly forcing a smile.

“Alright! Come to think of it, Brunelda’s right…!”

“Yallen approved too, so everyone, let’s head out and enjoy the festival!”

“Sounds good.”

“Yay!”

The other guild members immediately followed after Brunelda as he strode outside.

“Lord Yallen.”

Just before following them, I quietly spoke while placing a hand on his small shoulder.

“…What is it?”

“…”

After silently meeting his gaze, I lowered my head and whispered into his ear.

“You’re one of the five greatest schemers in all of Pletica. I have no doubt whatsoever that you’ll make tremendous contributions during the Guild War.”

It wasn’t pressure delivered through indirect speech.

After all, I always tried my best to live politely, addressing everyone respectfully.

There was no way I’d do something like that.

I was a cultist whose outward appearance and inner thoughts were exactly the same.

“Please focus solely on the guild members’ survival. I’ll take care of everything else.”

Yallen stared blankly at me before quietly turning his head.

“…Alright.”

Pat. Pat.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

After politely bidding farewell to the vice guild master, I spent the rest of the day happily getting to know the guild members in preparation for the Guild War.

So festivals could be this enjoyable.

Only now did I realize just how boring my life had been working, playing games, and occasionally indulging in tiny acts of rebellion.

“Take care!”

“Safe travels!”

After spending the entire day enjoying the festivities, night finally fell, and I returned to the inn where my companions had secured rooms.

It was an expensive luxury inn.

Almost hotel-like, with remarkably spacious and spotless rooms.

“Karr, you’re back?”

“Welcome back.”

I would be sharing a room with the siblings under my care.

Apparently they’d enjoyed the festival just as much.

Wolf masks, biscuits, toy claws, stuffed dolls, and various souvenirs were scattered throughout the room.

“Did you have fun?”

“I finally realized District 6 was actually an incredibly boring place!”

“That’s unavoidable. It’s mostly inhabited by clergy.”

After taking a quick bath and emerging wearing only a robe, I found Rachel already waiting outside the bathroom with her head deeply bowed.

“Cultist, I’ve successfully completed the task you assigned.”

“Thank you for your hard work.”

While drying my wet hair with [Death · Flame · Transformation] , I gestured with my hand.

Rachel immediately understood exactly what I meant and began delivering her report.

“I visited the taverns near the headquarters of the five guilds participating in the Guild War besides the Gray Wolf Guild, as well as taverns frequently visited by people well-informed about District 3. I wore a wolf mask, changed into different clothes every time, and used a different stealth Mystery each time. I don’t believe anyone noticed I was gathering information.”

“Your work is truly impeccable. I’ll be sure to inform Lord Sergius.”

I hadn’t expected her to perform so well.

As expected of a veteran intelligence officer personally trained by the butler with decades of experience.

“According to my investigation, exactly three explorers matched the conditions you described. Here’s the list.”

I quickly examined the note Rachel handed me.

 

– Fire Turtle Guild / Raenis (Jewel Elf, Pure Mana Mage)

– Great Warrior Guild / Heavyclaw (Bear Beastman, Berserker)

– White Jade Hand Guild / Mordan Emberhammer (Eastern Continent Dwarf, Blacksmith)

 

One of these three.

One of the Six Apostles… The Conspirator.

Which one it was hadn’t been predetermined.

The target the Conspirator impersonated was chosen randomly.

‘Raenis, Heavyclaw, Mordan.’

A slender jewel elf.

A bear beastman almost as massive as Targon.

A short Eastern Continent dwarf.

Each possessed completely different physical characteristics.

Considering the properties of the Ninja Class Mystery [Skin Garment]…

“…Heh.”

A chuckle escaped my lips.

I understood exactly what strategy the Conspirator had devised.

“Cultist, why are you smiling?”

“Because it’s laughable.”

Nightmare Dungeon playtime: 20,800 hours.

Guild War experience?

I hadn’t counted, but at the very least, over one thousand times.

The carefully crafted scheme devised by one of the Six Apostles blessed by the Great Monster was, to me, nothing more than one standardized pattern among countless others.

 

***

 

The Guild War’s battlefield was a labyrinth.

A labyrinth abandoned by exploration parties because its rewards were too poor, yet perfectly suited for competition.

Its entrance consisted of two separate fragments.

Only by holding both pieces together would the entrance open, allowing each fragment to be freely transported elsewhere.

Thus, they were now proudly displayed at the center of the oval arena on the Lively Promenade in eastern District 3.

“Thank you all for waiting!”

The announcer’s voice thundered across the arena through a magical voice amplification device.

The audience filling the stands erupted into cheers.

“I am Dilmo, Vice Guild Master of the Gray Wolf Guild and today’s host for the Guild War!”

[Vice Guild Master Dilmo (Underground Gnome, 52 years old). Although only Level 7, lower than the other vice guild masters, his Wisdom is the highest, making him an exceptionally intelligent earth gnome.]

It was this very gnome who had gathered the minute clues left behind by the Conspirator and concluded that Rigobert truly had been leaking information.

Furthermore, thanks to his personality, which refused to leave flaws in anything he did… he was the guild member best suited to serve as a completely impartial host.

“A contest of exploration between six guilds! Which guild will earn the honor of governing District 3?!”

“Waaaaaaah!!”

Thunderous cheers and applause exploded from the audience.

“The current rulers of District 3, the Ash Wolf Guild, will face the five guilds with the best performance over the past two years! Will power finally change hands this time? Or will District 3 remain the wolves’ territory?”

Dilmo dramatically raised his head.

The motion appeared from the perfect angle on the floating broadcast screen overhead.

Not only that… similar visual devices installed throughout District 3 would be broadcasting it live everywhere.

“First, the Fire Turtle Guild! They achieved the remarkable feat of clearing the A-rank labyrinth [Sea of Flames] in only one month!”

The guild members wearing exploration suits decorated with red turtle shells neither waved nor acknowledged the crowd.

Like their guild’s name, they simply stood there in silence.

At the very front stood a middle-aged warrior.

‘The Impregnable’ Lufrite.

Among this year’s participants, he ranked second only to Targon.

“I’d like to fight that man someday.”

Brunelda looked at the Fire Turtle Guild Master with a burning competitive spirit.

Meanwhile, my attention remained fixed on the guild member standing directly behind him.

Raenis.

A jewel elf, just like Targon’s secretary, Elvira.

A person of interest.

“Next! The Nunun Bear Love Guild, who magnificently conquered [Great Pirate Hideout], a dungeon left unconquered for four years!”

“That’s right! We’re that amazing guild! Give us your cheers!”

The explorers wearing uniforms decorated with adorable Nunun Bears waved both arms and jumped around enthusiastically.

They were the complete opposite of the dull guild standing beside them.

Afterward, the introductions continued, each participating guild displaying its own unique character.

“The Great Warrior Guild! They’ve successfully conquered no fewer than twenty-nine B-rank or higher labyrinths!”

A warrior-focused guild led by Heavyclaw, a bear beastman nearly as large as Targon, yet possessing the exact opposite temperament fiery and explosive.

“The White Jade Hand Guild! The guild that uncovered the Hidden Piece of [Demonic Fortress], which remained undiscovered for the past ten years!”

A guild centered around artisan-type explorers, led by the Dragonblood craftsman Eradra.

“And finally, a guild participating in the Guild War for the very first time! Please give a warm round of applause to the Shooting Star Guild, who discovered the breakthrough for conquering the A-rank labyrinth [Tiger Extermination Hell]!”

I could safely ignore them.

Finally, it was our turn.

“At this point, there’s no need to list every achievement one by one!”

The moment Dilmo merely began speaking, the audience became incomparably louder than before.

“The rulers of District 3! The undisputed greatest guild in all of Pletica! The Ash Wolf Guild!!”

“WOOOOOOOOOO!!”

The audience erupted beneath the host’s passionate cry.

Countless shining gazes poured toward the arena.

A level of attention that might overwhelm a family of introverts.

‘There really are a lot of them.’

Although I was quieter and shyer than anyone else, I wasn’t afraid of being the center of attention.

If anything, my heart raced.

If I became the primary reason we lost the Guild War while receiving this much attention…

How unbearably embarrassing would that be?

Even when I’d been forced to participate in a company Karaoke contest and forgotten the lyrics halfway through a rapid-fire rap, my heart hadn’t budged in the slightest.

But this time, surely it would be different.

“I’m already looking forward to experiencing what a loser feels like.”

“Hahaha! Tribesman Karr, you’re exceptionally skilled at provoking people!”

At Brunelda’s words, several explorers from the neighboring Shooting Star Guild glared sideways at me.

I cheerfully waved at them.

For some reason, they all flinched before quickly turning away.

…What was their problem?

“Before we officially begin the Guild War, I’ll briefly explain the rules and the laws governing the labyrinth!”

After leisurely enjoying the audience’s excitement, Dilmo pointed toward the two fragments resting at the center.

Half a sun. Half a moon.

[Entrance to the [Battlefield of Sun and Moon]. You may only enter by touching both halves while they are joined together.]

“The B-rank labyrinth serving as today’s battlefield, [Battlefield of Sun and Moon], is an ancient ruin! Once inside, explorers will be randomly divided between the Battlefield of the Sun and the Battlefield of the Moon!”

Pointing dramatically toward the sun hanging in the sky, Dilmo continued.

“Collect a total of six Primordial Fragments within your respective battlefield, and you’ll gain access to the tower leading to the deepest level! The condition for clearing the labyrinth and winning the Guild War is obtaining the sacred relic [Orb of Lumerlan] from the deepest level! Sounds almost too simple, doesn’t it?”

It sounded easy. In reality, it wasn’t.

There was a reason it was B-rank.

“Throughout the labyrinth, broadcast crystal orbs installed by the Labyrinth Management Corps will be recording every corner! The entire District 3 will be watching your exploits live! So please compete fairly!”

“Tribesman Karr. If you’ve got any Mysteries or Artifacts you’d rather keep secret, don’t use them. Our guild members have already exposed everything, so it doesn’t matter for us. You must’ve worked hard acquiring new Mystery Tomes and tools specifically for the Guild War. That must be unfortunate.”

“Not at all. If my enemies become stronger, all the better. It’ll simply make defeating them more difficult.”

“!”

I gave Brunelda a thumbs-up.

As expected of a Northern Continent barbarian, he truly understood what fun meant.

“Now for the most important point!”

Dilmo dramatically raised one hand.

“Within the Battlefield of Sun and Moon, vampires and ghouls wage an endless war to claim the sacred relic sleeping in the depths! The explorers will become vampires serving the ancient Vampire Lord, Haimatus Anteste!”

The ghouls worshiped Solmiran, Creator of the Blazing Sun.

The vampires worshiped Selbaran, Judge of the Brilliant Moon.

For countless ages, the two factions had fought endless wars of intrigue and conspiracy.

“Every participant’s Soul Rank will be adjusted equally to Level 5, and everyone’s physical abilities will likewise be equalized! And if you die, you’ll immediately be ejected back outside, so there’s nothing to worry about!”

Personally, it was an explanation I found difficult to understand.

Wasn’t exploration less exciting if you couldn’t wager your life?

“Participants! Are you all ready?!”

Even if someone wasn’t, no explorer capable of backing out at this point would’ve qualified to participate in the Guild War in the first place.

After glancing over the guild members stretching, chatting, and relaxing, Dilmo finally shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Then let the Guild War… begin!!”

“Let’s go. To victory.”

With Targon’s indifferent words of encouragement, we entered the labyrinth.

At that moment, only one thought occupied my mind.

‘What should I say in my victory speech?’