Rabbit Hole Chapter 22

The kitchen staff had a similar vibe to the person he’d met earlier. They were mostly indifferent and apathetic in attitude. While everyone was just doing their own work, only the person with a fierce-looking face wearing a tall chef’s hat was passionate.

“Newbie! I heard you’re damn amazing at peeling fruit. You’re just the talent we need. Those bastards are good at tasting, but they can’t peel fruit.”

His voice was so booming it nearly hurt the ears to listen. On top of that, his build was so massive that Geumseo listened intently, feeling cornered.

“I hope it’s not a lie that you’re good at peeling fruit. If it’s a lie, I’ll shave off all the hair on your head. For your information, I’m good with a kitchen knife but terrible with hair clippers. That’s not a lie. So you’d better do a proper job. See that guy over there. Why do you think that bastard is wearing a hat when he’s not even a chef? Because a road was paved from his forehead to the crown of his head, right down to the back. He couldn’t even hold a paring knife properly but bluffed that he was good at peeling fruit or whatever. Luckily, that guy turned out to be good at deco. If he wasn’t, I would’ve shaved his skull clean and kicked him out long ago.”

The back of the person who supposedly had a road carved into his head flinched. His moving hands sped up. The head chef turned away and Geumseo went to stand next to the odd-job worker lined up there. The quiet muttering was audible even to Geumseo’s ears.

“Jackass. If you just said you couldn’t do it, you could at least go out to the hall. Now with your skull like that, you can’t even go out. The hall is way more profitable, what a damn shame.”

“What do you mean, what to do. You can just go out there instead of him.”

“Fuck. They have to call me over to go out.”

Geumseo had no intention of working the hall. He just had to do what he was told. He didn’t develop any greed for other work. Even though the way back home was long and the late-night shift awkwardly overlapped with his gas station work, the monthly pay was more than what he earned juggling two jobs at the gas station and pub. He figured he could quit the gas station and suitably fit a new job into his newly opened schedule. He should tell Unha hyung that he found a job. And Go San… that story too….

But did he really have to?

Peeling fruit skins thoughtlessly, slicing uniformly, Geumseo thought.

Go San even introduced him to a job. And that day, after making him suck like that, he didn’t do anything else and just let him sleep. Was there really any need to whine over just that? And to Unha hyung, who was brothers with Go San at that…. This is basically badmouthing family….

In the end, Geumseo made up his mind not to tell. He didn’t want to be a bother to his busy hyung either. Instead of calling and rambling on about useless stuff, especially things that would sound like badmouthing family, it would be better to show that he was living diligently and had the will to definitely repay his debts. Geumseo’s hands moved faster and faster.

“Oho! Look at this!”

The head chef, who spoke cutting off every syllable as if breathing from his diaphragm, peered at the fruit over Geumseo’s shoulder and clapped loudly.

“Good! That’s good!”

He talks like the boss…. Geumseo answered the praise with a mumbled thank you and picked up a pineapple.

∞ ∞ ∞

After some deliberation, Geumseo went to Go San’s house. First of all, he was short on money. No matter how he racked his brain, when a time came that he couldn’t cover the essential monthly expenditures, even a few thousand won in transportation costs was inevitably precious. He could even walk to Go San’s house. When he arrived on foot, the house was empty. Go San’s daily patterns were unexpectedly regular. His waking time, the time he went out, and the time he came in were all set. Which meant that the house being empty at this hour was a rare thing.

They had tangled messily just a few times so far, yet a rule tailored to Go San had already formed for Geumseo too. First, once inside the house, he unconsciously checked the smell clinging to his clothes, tossed them into the laundry bin, and then headed to the bathroom. The oil smell was less than at the place he’d worked before. Still, there was no knowing what fault Go San might find and strip him. At the very least, he wanted to undress himself.

And when he came out after washing, Go San was there.

“How was work.”

Go San was eating unseasoned beef. His expression was full of boredom.

“It was easy…. What’s up with your hair?”

Flipping a knife in his hand, Go San shrugged.

“I cut it. Since I’ve already tried shaving it all off and growing it out bushy.”

Go San’s hair was cut short. The sides were even shorter. His previous hair had at least added a hint of softness, like languor, but now even that was gone. His sharp eyes stood out more. So did his eyebrows, not to mention his dimples.

Go San gestured with his hand, looking tired. Geumseo obediently went over and sat down beside Go San.

“What. Does it look ugly?”

Chewing the beef Go San abruptly shoved at him, Geumseo answered after a long pause.

“No.”

Saying it looked bad seemed like a lie that would be too obvious. That would only please Go San. Whether it was the right answer or not, Go San’s reaction was indifferent.

“Why did you shave it all off back then?”

“Because I wasn’t hitting any records.”

“Then why did you grow it out again?”

“Because that didn’t hit any records either. Originally, when a person can’t do things the way they want, they get a bit weird. You know that feeling?”

Go San swiftly sliced up a large chunk of meat. The inside was red. Geumseo realized the meat he’d eaten had been just as undercooked as that, making his throat feel slick.

“If I hadn’t tried that, I might have done all sorts of crazy things and just ended up dead.”

Go San said he had eaten something small together with him. Geumseo felt like undercooked meat.

“Did you like swimming that much? Enough to die for?”

“No. No, do I like it? It is special, though. Because I couldn’t do it my way.”

Go San, for whom life was easy, seemed to like things that were difficult for him. Geumseo picked up a bit of a hint here. It could lead to a conclusion like, Go San probably doesn’t like things that are easy for him then.

“I think you’re a bit strange.”

Geumseo said honestly. Go San held out a chunk that tasted of nothing but meat to Geumseo’s mouth.

“In my eyes, you’re stranger.”

“…I like mine fully cooked, though.”

“See. I told you, you’re strange.”

Like our meat preferences, we will never understand each other our whole lives. The meat that had gone right inside Geumseo’s lips went back into Go San’s mouth in the same shape.

When whatever that was—Go San’s meal or not—ended, Geumseo was dragged to the bed. Go San wedged his own thing between Geumseo’s thighs and rubbed. It felt like the inside of his thighs might turn black. When he said that, Go San said he’d check, turned the lights on brightly, and buried his face between Geumseo’s legs. He fiddled with Geumseo’s pubic hair, rubbed it with the tip of his nose, and then laughed softly. Comparing it to his own smoothness seemed amusing to him.

“Ah. But what does it matter if it gets discolored. I don’t dislike it.”

“…”

“Anyway, I’m the only one who’s going to see it.”

Why only you? Geumseo thought Go San was talking nonsense. But when he said that, his body had been flipped over so he was lying on his stomach, and Go San didn’t actually see that expression.

Go San said he would let him go using just his fingers. It didn’t happen that day, but Geumseo, breathless, was scared that those words would be fulfilled within what little was left of this year. Because not being able to come without Go San’s fingers, no, not being able to come without someone’s fingers, probably wasn’t a good thing.

∞ ∞ ∞

The gas station owner told him to just work until next week and then quit. There wasn’t much sign of regret. It seemed like Geumseo was the only one feeling regretful. Anyway, the owner said things had been tough lately since another gas station opened nearby. Besides, school was on break now so his son was coming back to help with the work. Maybe he’d been dropping hints all along and only Geumseo hadn’t realized. Geumseo’s intention to resign was thus welcomed in a lukewarm manner.

Since cutting his hair, Go San had been acting surprisingly unremarkably. He looked a bit tired and also seemed busy. It was rare for Geumseo to ask about Go San first. Probably the several questions he’d asked when they first met and introduced themselves were all. ‘Did something happen?’ ‘Are you not feeling well?’ He decided not to be curious about things like that until Go San told him. If he got curious for nothing, he felt like he’d get it back double. Whatever it might be.

Go San, however, asked Geumseo often. It was trivial things. For instance, what did you do today.

Today was a day he had worked until dawn at the place Go San introduced, caught a quick nap, and then went to work at the gas station. The gas station work was predictable, so Geumseo talked about what he had done at the store.